FRUIT OPINIONS!

Holy crap. This strip’s been up for 800 seconds and it’s already the most controversial thing I’ve ever written, beating out comics about cunnilingus, the Obama endorsement, and my making 4chan tiny on the map of the internet. It turns out everyone and their mother has a fruit opinion, and every one of those opinions is now in my inbox.

Just remember to keep some perspective. If you think watermelon is delicious, and I think it’s only so-so, the important thing is that we each find something we like. Who’s to say whose taste is right?

I am. You are wrong; watermelon is overrated.

Also, I have never liked cantaloupe. It brings down otherwise tasty fruit salads. There, I said it.

571 replies on “FRUIT OPINIONS!”

  1. Jesse: European and (North) American cantaloupes are both muskmelons, but they’re different species. The American cantaloupe is also called rockmelon.

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  2. Just to be awesomely original I’m going to reply to this thread, because (just as it seems everyone else is) I’m extraordinarily passionate about fruit.

    Firstly: Cantaloupe? Weird. It’s a ROCKMELON. And oh my god I think it’s possibly my favourite fruit, if not my favourite food EVER.

    Secondly: Tomatoes are amazing, and anything with vitamin C will save your life, I swear.

    (BTW: Buy organic! I swear there will be no fruit you don’t like after that.)

    That is all.

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  3. raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries. you forgot raspberries.

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  4. PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE Submit this comic to Threadless (threadless.com) so that I can have a t-shirt like this!!! It’s hilarious.
    Also, I don’t like coconuts either.

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  5. PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE submit this comic to Threadless (threadless.com) so that I can have it on a T-shirt! It would be so hilarious! I would love a shirt like that.
    Also, I don’t appreciate coconuts either.

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  6. Can I get a witness to the idea that all existing classifications are stupid, and whether or not something is a fruit should be determined on the basis of whether it is sweet?

    Don’t see anyone putting tomatoes in fruit salads, after all. Just wouldn’t go. It’s savoury. Motherfucker’s a VEGETABLE on that basis.

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  7. When I saw this comic, I ended up sticking it in paint and making my own version to show my friends how I felt.

    Most of them don’t appreciate the information.

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  8. To whomever talked about “fruits of the east” way up there…durian is the most disgusting thing ever. It would be so far down the y axis, it wouldn’t fit on a computer screen. Lychee is awesome though, but hard to peel. Bananas are definitely less tasy than oranges, grapefruit or pomengranate. Plus grapefruit is easy. Cut it in half and use a serrated spoon to scoop out the fruit. So there’s my opinion. Not that anyone really cares, just felt like voicing it:)

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  9. There’s a fairly clear reason that this would be the most controversial xkcd ever. It expresses the greatest number of opinions of any xkcd ever. Also, most of them are clearly wrong.

    Still, I have to agree: fuck grapefruit.

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  10. Why does fruit flavoured candyseem to differ so much? Watermelon chewing gum is often deliciously sour, yet actual watermelon is just light, fleshy, and tasteless (and mostly water).

    #512 post

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  11. WHAT THE FUCK?! Cantaloupe sucks?

    For the fucking record:

    Cantaloupe does not bring down fruit salad, fruit salad brings down Cantaloupe. Cantaloupe by itself is one of the most godly fruits on Earth! Maybe you just haven’t had *good* Cantaloupe.

    What a crime.

    But I do have to agree with regards to Coconuts. Fuck ’em.

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  12. I used to have a grapefruit tree; and they were awful, even coated in heaps of sugar. Grapefruits are cool being run over by cars; however.

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  13. Foolish to be commenting so after the fact. But: Grapefruit is good. Try it halved, in a bowl, with a bit of maple syrup drizzled on it. Eat with spoon. The problem with the original chart is that varieties are not really accounted for. Italian Prunes (a plum variety common in yards in, at least, Montana and Oregon, where I’ve encountered them) are perhaps the best fruit ever. Supermarket plums, not so much. And to the poster who said that fruit is good, but fruit-flavored stuff is not – wrong! Lemon and coconut flavored stuff are often “better” than the real thing. And to all the raspberry fans out there who include blackberries and raspberries as one category – NO! Blackberries are good, the seed to flesh ratio is acceptable. Raspberrries suck, not good s/f ratio. There’s more, but, I too am like the guy inxkcd number whatever who has to go to bed, but keeps typing…

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  14. Oh, and I forgot my main thing! CHERRIES are totally easy. The pit? Just eat ’em outside when they are in season. PIT is three quarters of the word SPIT. Highway 93 along Flathead Lake in Montana here is cherry pit-covered at the end of July. Life is good in Cherry season. Cherries are the undisputed TOP FRUIT.

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  15. I completely agree with Randal about the coconut and the grapefruit, but I have to say that you brought red apples down a bit too far. Aside from that, peaches definitely deserve to be at the top.

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  16. Well, considering that http://www.plums.com is put in my favorites, obviously my opinion is that plums are the greatest fruits in the earth, not only because they’re healthy and delicious (because any fruit can claim that) but also because it’s so cross-cultural and cross-purpose when it comes to ways of preparing and eating it, that you’re given lots of room to be creative. Seriously.

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  17. Pineapple is a lot better than you make it out to be. The outside husk should give slightly when squeezed, but still be firm. The colour should be between greeny-yellow and yellowy-brown. The leaves should look like they are JUST starting to be beat up (still green, headed towards greeny-brown).

    When cut, it should be bright yellow and now overly juicy. If it’s darker yellow and very juicy, it’s over ripe and has begun to rot. It will also taste way too strong and disgusting 😛

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  18. Quite possibly the most disturbing thing about the entire comic & the fury of posts that it spawned is the fact that I just read them all.
    Every last one.
    I’d like that 10 minutes of my life back.
    Please.

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  19. I wish I had the willpower to eat a grapefruit every day… I also wish I had the social fortitude to tell people that their small dogs are a cancer on the institution of household pets.

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  20. I just remembered wild gooseberry. Like currants ,but really insane fruit with big annoying stabby thorns right on the skin of the berry.

    Mildly palatable, but really far down the axes of annoyance.

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  21. While I know that this will probably never be read by anyone…I just have to say, bananas are gross. Anyone who eats then and likes them is…a communist…SO THERE!!

    And I happen to like grapefruits…. 😦

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  23. Why can I not find this comic anywhere? Anyone have a link or screenshot?

    (A fruit argument with a friend needs to be resolved.)

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  24. Ginger syrup (from the Ginger People) changes everything! Best invention of mankind. Still can’t get it inside a closed coconut though…

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  25. The grapefruit was dishonoured enough by its placement on the chart. It only adds insult to injury that it had to be coloured grey!

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  26. Tasty is really a relative term. But, in the effort not to put an impossibly futile perspective on the matter, I say that if the midline for the tastiness scale represents the average taste of all fruits rather, then all foods, then the chart is rather accurate to me.

    OH, I am displeased there was no distinction between red grapes and green grapes on the chart however. You see, I feel the real controversy is in deciding which kind of grape is better.

    But when trying to decide which grape is better I must realize red and green grapes are not on an even playing field to begin with. Specifically red grapes are cheaper then green. Therefore when judging which grape I like more, I try to take into account that with a specific amount of money, I can buy more red grapes then I can green.

    But wait, let?s expand this a little. Say if we agree red grapes are the best because they are practically just as tasty, but cost less then green. Then, everyone (including myself) would buy more or solely red grapes because of the revelation. This would in turn create more demand for red grapes. With a higher demand for red grapes the price of red grapes would naturally rise. And in raising their price, because price was a factor in deciding which grapes were better, red grapes then become less desirable then green.

    I think we have hit upon a Schrödinger?s cat here. If we decide which kind of grape is better, in the long run we change which grape is better to the opposite. By observing which is better we change which is better. Oh my god! And now I see the wisdom in combining the grapes into one category. It is the only way to maintain the balance in the grape world!! Thank you xkcd for having the foresight I could not?

    I think I am going to take a walk now?

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  27. Green apples aren’t that bad. Nor are oranges, though they take ages to peel.

    You know what? I should calculate the slopes of the lines that cross through the points on the graph. Of course, the lines would vary directly, so there wouldn’t be any problem with y-intercepts. Then I could use the distance formula to find out which fruit is the best and which one is the worst. A scatter plot might be good, too.

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  29. I humbly proffer forth – too late to contribute to the discussion but certainly willing to add to fruitly knowledge – the black sapote.

    You can’t seriously tell me that a fruit that makes chocolate pudding for you doesn’t even RANK on the deliciousness axis.

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  30. cantaloupes are…ewww. I never never liked them and I won’t change my opinion.

    Try pomelos (pommelos, pumelos, pummelos and what the heck)!
    They’re citrus fresh and tasty, a little bit bitter, but alright.
    Maybe you’ll like them.

    (Have fun with peeling ;D)

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  31. Can I get a witness to the idea that all existing classifications are stupid, and whether or not something is a fruit should be determined on the basis of whether it is sweet?

    Don’t see anyone putting tomatoes in fruit salads, after all. Just wouldn’t go. It’s savoury. Motherfucker’s a VEGETABLE on that basis.

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  32. Ginger syrup (from the Ginger People) changes everything! Best invention of mankind. Still can’t get it inside a closed coconut though…

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  33. There should be a z-axis relative to how much fruit you eat and the probability of getting da’squirts.

    Bananas would rank really high.

    Plums (off the cart down)…coconuts would be high since you just can’t prep them fast enough.

    Green grapes…I’ll have to ponder that one…

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  34. Cantaloupe and grapefruit are horrible. Watermelons are win because they’re sweet and delicious, and they’re mostly water, so they can’t be fattening, so THERE. Now I’m probably just weird, but underripe fruits just sound awesome to me. (Especially peaches and bananas, although bananas can be a bitch to open when they’re underripe.)

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  35. i just bit into a dollar cantaloupe and it tasted like nothing at all. the best part is i bought 2 of them, one green, one kinda pale. They both tasted like dry nothingness. If you’re gonna buy cantaloupe you should pay at least 3 bucks for one because these dollar cantaloupes are done man. don’t even bother with bananas because you know they’re just gonna turn black and spawn fruit flies.

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  36. @radyo dinle

    Who says fruits can’t be savory? Why does fruit have to be sweet? Tomatoes are fruits just like cucumbers, pumpkins, peppers, wheat and everything else which comes from a pollinated flower.

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  37. As much as I’d love to make a snide remark, as soon as I saw I am. Youe are Wrong. I was so overtaken with laughter and pure love with your comedy, that I simply couldn’t. Consider watermelon and cantaloupe officially out of my diet.

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