Since last night I’ve been obsessively connecting to Omegle.
It’s a simple site that just connects you to a random person, anonymously, for a conversation.
It feels like that scene in Fight Club where the narrator sits down next to Tyler on the plane. Two strangers meeting, laying out their personality and sizing each other up in just a few words, with no expectations, and — thanks to anonymity — no consequences.
Except in this case, a lot of the time Tyler just screams “COCKS”, punches the narrator, and jumps out of the window.
Still, it’s fun!
xkcd 
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: I’m 14, female, from USA. If you don’t want to talk to me, then disconnect.
You: I like children.
Stranger: ugh, so ur 20 somethin?
You: Not, 56.
Stranger: omg O.O
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Stranger: wild_tongue@hotmail.co.uk
You: ?
Stranger: add u know u want to
You: Na, but i’ll post it all over the internet.
You have disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hey
You: oh really?
Stranger: yeah really!!
You: wow!
You: wat did u get wiv the money?
Stranger: candy
You: whoa
Stranger: i spent it all on cookies
You: wat sort?
You: wow
You: cool
Stranger: chocolat cookies
You: the best, ur house must be stuffed wiv them
You: ull have 2 eat ur way out
Stranger: yeah
You: wow
Stranger: and eat my way in
You: heaven
how did u win that much tho?
Stranger: well, i’m a lucky bastard
You: u sure r man
Stranger: so…how did u found out about that
Stranger: they told you didn’t they?
You: norman told me on the phone
You: yeah they did
You: they had 2 sometime
Stranger: it was supposed to be a surprise
You: ooh man im sorry, u kno wat normans like
Stranger: now u lnowm it’s not funny anymore
You: welll u still have all tose cookies
Stranger: i guess i have to eat them all alone
You: norman didnt mean 2 hurt u, honastly
You: u cant do that man
You: ull kill urself
Stranger: maybe…from diarrea
You: its not a good way 2 go
Stranger: shit myself to death
You: dont do this 2 urself
Stranger: just eat and shit
You: u cant man!
You: we’ll help u
You: its ok
Stranger: will u eat some coockies?
Stranger: a cand send u some
Stranger: can*
You: yh its ok norman will help
Stranger: oh…wait…
Stranger: i can see a button in my browser….
Stranger: it says “delete coockies”
Stranger: should i press it?
You: coockies or cookies?
Stranger: oh, thanks…yeah cookies!
You: well i dont kno, could be dangerous stuff
Stranger: so, should i delete the freak’n cookies?
You: i dont know dammit, its 2 hard
You: its a big step man
Stranger: oh…..please…..God……help me….what sould i do
You: okok calm down
Stranger: damn! this is so hard….why….oh…why…..
You: errrrr can u breathe?
r the cookies giving u enough space 2 breathe?
You: how many have u had??
Stranger: ok ok…i am calm
You: ook deep breaths
Stranger: i guess the cookies are stating to get to me
You: but will u cope without them though?
You: ok u kno wat
Stranger: damn, i will do it! i will press the button
You: just do it
You: u can
Stranger: ok ok…..
You: u kno u can
Stranger: now….on 3
You: 1
Stranger: 1….
You: 2
Stranger: 2…..
Stranger: 3……
Stranger: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
You: HAVE U DONE IT!?
Stranger: oh……..yeah!
You: really?
Stranger: yeah! i did it!!
You: well done dude well done
Stranger: thanks men, nothing happened though
You: r they still there?
Stranger: oh…wait…i lost my gmail session
You: wat kinda gmail session?
Stranger: the session. it is mantained by a cookie in the browser
You:
Stranger: if you delete the cookie, you will have to autenticate again
You: shit man
Stranger: yeah! shit
Stranger: well…my hope is gone now
You: man, im im sorry i didnt know
Stranger: the only thing left is the godamn cookies
You: shit
Stranger: eat…shit…eat…shit…die
You: ill help u!
You: itll be ok
Stranger: what sould i do now
You: how many have u had so far?
Stranger: about 10 kilograms
Stranger: sill have like 100
Stranger: still*
You: can u get out of the house?”
Stranger: i know a guy that can help me
You: who?
Stranger: the cookie monster!
Stranger: from sessame street
You: OF COURSE!
You: y didnt i think of that
You: do u kno his number, ive lost it
Stranger: bit i think i lost his cell number
You: shitshitshitshit
Stranger: i have to call a guy ho knows a guy who knows him
Stranger: it could take a while to track
You: ok….cool have u got ur phone on u?
Stranger: yeah!
Stranger: maybe i’ll send an e-mail
You: man u cant last there that long call the bastard! quick!
Stranger: ok…i sent the e-mail
You: phew
You: ok
Stranger: now all i have to do is wait
You: itll all be ok
Stranger: wait..eat…shit
You: odnt say that
You: maybe hell answer his phone
You: y dont u call him
Stranger: i soon will turn into a fat ass
You: dont worry theres still time
You: call him
Stranger: yeah, maybe tomorrow
You: u got to now man]
Stranger: ok ok….
You: seriously
Stranger: i’l do it
Stranger: just a miment
Stranger: moment…
You: the temptation will get 2 much soon
You: oook
Stranger: it’s ringing….
You: …….
Stranger: still ringing….
You: .
Stranger: nor answering
Stranger: not*
You: crap, leave a message
Stranger: oh…..the voicemail…damn
Stranger: well, just left a message
You: erm ok]
Stranger: this is not good
Stranger: the whole world is against me
You: i kno, i kno he mite pick up later
You: im not againt u m8
You: uve got me man
Stranger: why is everything againt me….why..ok…God….whyyyyyyyyyyyy
Stranger: oh…sorry
You: dont say things like that man
im on ur side
Stranger: the cookies are getting to me again
You: dont eat them, u cant
You: pls dont give up
Stranger: i hear voices! they say “eat us, eat us now! all of us”
You: NO!!
Stranger: and i can’t resist
You: DONT LISTEN 2 TEM
You: DONT DO IT
Stranger: voices in my head!
Stranger: maybe….if i bang my head against a walll
You: nooo! imagine them as discusting shits or something dont eat them
You: carefull……
Stranger: meybe they’ll go away…
Stranger: maybe*
You: they will, its ok
theyre all pieces of crap that u cant eat ok
Stranger: bam! i did it!
You: banged ur head aagainst the wall?
Stranger: lol…i can’t…they are so cute
Stranger: yeah!
You: dude………..
Stranger: but my walls are covered in cookies
You: who are cute man?
Stranger: i just ended up by eating some more
You: wats happening 2 u?
You: nooooooo
Stranger: teh cookies, they are so cute
You: no they’re not
You: they’re gonna kill u
Stranger: they look like little animals
You: shit man
Stranger: oh…shit…i am totally f*cked
You: im getting a doctor
Stranger: cant believe this is happening to me
You: i kno its hard, time is running out-u gotta get out of there-fast
Stranger: a doctor??
You: ur head
Stranger: ok… but only if he likes cookies
You: ok forget doctors just get out of the amn housed
Stranger: oh forget my head
Stranger: i ended up by banging mu head against the cookies
You: b4 we do anything get out of there!
You: its ok
You: dont worry
You: just close ur mouth and try and dig ur way out
Stranger: maybe that’s it
Stranger: if i bang my head on them
You: NO
Stranger: and turn them into powder
You: not ur head man
You: just crush them wiv ur hands
Stranger: then all i have to do is flush them down the toilet
You: if u can get 2 the toilet
Stranger: shit, u’r right…
Stranger: i totally forgot
You: just get 2 the front door, then u can get the cookie monster outside ok
Stranger: ok…i will do that
You: ook
You: good luck
Stranger: i will grab my palm and keep chatting ok?
You: ook
Stranger: iiiiimmmmm rruuuuunnnniiiinnnggggg
You: go on u can do it
Stranger: lol
Stranger: so…
Stranger: man…
Stranger: where are u from anyway?
You: r u out?
Stranger: yeah! way out!
You: phew ok hi
Stranger: it was a close one
You: yh sure was scared the crap outta me
You: soz i gotta go and hav a lie down after that
You: cya later man
Stranger: men…i still don’t know what to do with the godamn cookies
Stranger: cya
You: remember 2 get the cookie monster just a few streeta away
You: ill help u after my nap
You: cya
You have disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hi there
You: hi
Stranger: are you m? f?
You: F
You: what are you?
Stranger: i’m m … how old r u
You: 914
You: in orc years
Stranger: ha ha
Stranger: that’s good
You: no seriously
You: I’m half orc
You: please
You: please don’t make fun of me
You: I’ve had to go through my whole life being this way…
You: I just want love
You: Will you love me?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Straight and to the point… :S
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: Is this a Horny Girl who wants to do cyber?
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: hello
Stranger: hi
You: how’s it going?
Stranger: good, u?
You: pretty good
Stranger: asl?
You: before or after the surgery?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
HAHAHAHA
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: Do you expect me to talk?
You: No Mr Bond- I expect you to die!
Stranger: BLARGG
Stranger: I’M DEAD
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the “poof” is killing, so peaple don’t poof anymore
Stranger: OH SHIT SON
You: once there whas a “poof” and where all gone
Stranger: sad story
You: yes and tru happend
Stranger: sucks for the poofign people
Stranger: poofing*
You: yep
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Stranger: FUCK YOUR MOTHER
You: SHE’S DEAD
You: PERVERT
Stranger: OH WHAT THE FUCK
Stranger: WHAT
Stranger: THE
Stranger: FUCK
You: I KNOW RIGHT
Stranger: RIGHT
Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK
You: NECROPHILIA IS JUST NO GOOD
Stranger: OH MY GOD
Stranger: OH MY GOD
Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK
You: WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE YOUR GOD
You: I WANT IT TO BE MY GOD
Stranger: OH OUR GOD
Stranger: OH YOUR GOD
Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK
You: I DON’T KNOW
You: BUT LESBIANS
Stranger: I LIKE LESBIANS
Stranger: LESBIANS ARE NICE
You: YES
Stranger: I LIKE THEM
You: I HERD U LIEK THEM
Stranger: I HEARD I LIKE THEM
Stranger: I LIKE THEM
Stranger: THEY’RE NICE
You: YES
Stranger: YES
Stranger: NO
You: YES
Stranger: NO
You: FINE
You: MAYBE TWO LESBIANS?
Stranger: NO
You: SADFACE
Stranger: LIKE 10
You: OH ALL RIGHT THEN
You: THAT WOULD BE NICE
Stranger: YEA
Stranger: DUDE
Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK
Stranger: WHAT
Stranger: THE FUCK
You: EXACTLY MY POINT
Stranger: I KNOW
Stranger: MY POINT EXACTLY
You: GOOD WE AGREE
You: OR DO WRE
You: OH GODS A TYPO
Stranger: ARE WE DO
You: KILL IT WITH FIRE
Stranger: NO
Stranger: FIRE IS BAD
Stranger: WATER
Stranger: KILL IT WITH WATER
Stranger: WATER IS GOOD
You: WATERBOARD THE TYPO
Stranger: I DRINK WATER
You: ENHANCED TYPO INTERROGATION TECHNIQUE
Stranger: IT IS GOOD
You: NO WAY
You: I DO TOO
Stranger: REALLY
You: YES
Stranger: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
You: WHAT HE SAID
You: ALSO
You: SOMETIMES I DRINK
You: SODA
Stranger: ALSO WHAT
Stranger: OH
Stranger: MY
Stranger: GOD
Stranger: ME TOO
Stranger: I DRINK SODA
Stranger: IT IS GOOD
Stranger: I LIKE IT
You: ESPECIALLY MOUNTAIN DEW
Stranger: I LIKE LESBIANS DRINKING SODA
Stranger: IT IS GOOD
You: YES
Stranger: ME TOO
Stranger: I LIKE IT
You: THIS CONVO IS GOOD
Stranger: YES
You: AGREED
Stranger: AGREED(SQUARED)
You: AGREED^3
Stranger: OMGOMGOMGOMG
Stranger: I LIKE THAT
Stranger: THATS CUBED
Stranger: I LIKE IT
You: I CUBED IT
You: OMGOMG
Stranger: OMG
Stranger: YES
Stranger: I LIKE IT
Stranger: THAT IS GOOD
You: FOR THE GLORY OF JAPAN
Stranger: NO
Stranger: YES
Stranger: YES
Stranger: THAT IS GOOD
Stranger: I LIKE JAPAN
Stranger: JAPAN IS GOOD
You: LET IT ABIDE
Stranger: I LIKE IT
You: JAPANESE LESBIANS DRINKING SODA
You: OMG
Stranger: …
Stranger: OMG
Stranger: O
Stranger: M
Stranger: G
Stranger: OMGOMGOMGOMG
Stranger: YES
You: OMFG, EVEN
Stranger: THAT IS GOOD
Stranger: I LIKE THAT
Stranger: YES
Stranger: ROFLGASPLOLOMGLMAO
Stranger: ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL
Stranger: OMGOMG
Stranger: YES
Stranger: THAT IS GOOD
Stranger: I LIKE IT
Stranger: THAT IS GOOD
Stranger: YES
You: OKAY
You: ALSO DINOSAURS
You: I THINK DINOSAURS ARE PRETTY COOL
You: ESPECIALLY THE ONES WITH POINTY TEETH
Stranger: YES
Stranger: POINTY
Stranger: THAT IS GOOD
Stranger: I LIKE POINTY
Stranger: THIS IS GOOD
You: POINTY LESBIANS?
Stranger: NO THAT IS BAD
You: NO WAIT
Stranger: NO
You: YES
Stranger: BAD
Stranger: YES
You: BAD
Stranger: BAD THAT IS
Stranger: YES
Stranger: NO
You: THAT WOULD HURT
Stranger: I DON’T LIKE THAT
You: A LOT
Stranger: OUCH
Stranger: HURT
Stranger: BAD
Stranger: OW
You: AGREED^4
Stranger: …
Stranger: YES
Stranger: THAT IS GOOD
Stranger: I LIKE THAT
Stranger: THAT IS GOOD
Stranger: I LIKE IT
You: POLYNOMIALS
You: YES
You: ALSO PI
You: WITH AN E
You: DO YOU AGREE
Stranger: WHAT IS THAT
Stranger: I DON’T KNOW
Stranger: WHAT IS THAT
Stranger: I DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS IS
Stranger: WHAT IS THIS
You: OH SHIT
You: IT’S A BAKED GOOD
You: PIE
You: OMFGROFLBBQ
You: OR IS THAT /B/BQ
Stranger: OH MY GOD
Stranger: I LIKE THAT
Stranger: THAT IS GOOD
Stranger: I LIKE THIS
Stranger: THIS IS LIKE I GOOD LIKE THIS WANT
You: HUZZAH
You: BUT NOT A LESBIAN BBQ
You: UNLESS IT WAS THE LESBIANS THAT WERE DOING THE BBQ
You: AS OPPOSED TO THEM BEING BBQ’D
Stranger: …
Stranger: YES
Stranger: YES THAT IS GOOD
Stranger: I LIKE THAT
Stranger: I AM GOING TO GO, BECAUSE I HAVE A FEELING THIS CONVERSATION IS GOING TO GET BORING AFTER A WHILE
You: SADFACE
You: WELL IT WAS FUN AT TIMES
Stranger: EVEN THOUGH THIS IS BY FAR THE BEST OMEGLE CONVERSATION IVE EVER HAD
You: AGREED
You: UP YOURS MY FRIEND
Stranger: AGREED^5?
You: INDEED
Stranger: OK
Stranger: FUCK YOUR MOTHER
Stranger: BYE
You: RIGHT
You: BYE
Stranger: BYE..
You: LESBIANS BYE
Stranger: BYE^2039482
Stranger: HAH
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hey
You: BLACK KAWK
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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I just couldn’t resist.. Still though People on at 7 in the morning?
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A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hello
You: o hai thar
You: poodles are nice.
Stranger: ji ki haal haI
You: ji ki haal hal?
You: What is this ji ki haal hal?
Stranger: WERE U FRM
You: Oh just a small place.
You: The planet Earth
Stranger: BUT IN WHICH COUNTRY
You: Ohh
You: Lithuania
You: It’s awful nice there
Stranger: i wiil see
Stranger: u m/f
You: Before or after the surgery?
Stranger: tell me both
You: Well then
Stranger: what searching frur sex
You: I was the first real hermapherdite human and I was subjected to a surgery which made me neither
Stranger: testis or ovary??????
You: Those things are overrated
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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This is a very weird conversation about ducks and such.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: Hey.
You: How is it going?
Stranger: do you hve a duck?
You: Yeah his name is Phil.
You: But I have to say he is rather annoying.
Stranger: i want to pat a duck right now…
Stranger: i dont mind sharing my skittles
You: Oh.
You: Well you see Phil is a rather quaint character..
You: He picked up a fair ammount of diseases from the neighborhood cat.
Stranger: oh no!
Stranger: ill wear gloves
Stranger: i think phil would like me
You: Oh then you’ll be okay then!
You: For you see Phil looooves skittles and he tastes the rainbow quite often!
Stranger: i think i might have a connection with ducks
You: Alright, but man let me tell you about him!
You: You see this one time he decided that following a clown on LSD would be a good idea, see?
You: But that there clown hadn’t realized he was being followed!
You: So that clown took a lunch break and sat on Phil
You: So that clown was walking around the streets with a duck shoved up his butthole.
Stranger: oh no!
Stranger: poor phil!
You: And that is the story of my discovered UFO.
Stranger: oh wow!
Stranger: thats an amazing story
You: Quite.
Stranger: you should write it all down in a book and then sell it so you can have many duck friends for poor old phil
You: Good idea.
You: Would you like some cranberry casserole?
Stranger: and lots of skittles..
Stranger: no thanks
Stranger: i dont like cranberries much
You: Okay.
You: Oh my, this is quite quizzical.
Stranger: my bike is green and yellow and im going to ride it to the moon tomorrow
Stranger: do you mind asking if phil will join me?
You: No, but I warn thee, Phil is no ordinary duck.
You: He doesn’t fare too well on journeys such as this.
You: He gets seasick very easily.
You: BEWARE
Stranger: oh what a shame
Stranger: i had a friend frog called phil once he used to make fireworks but then he got caught!
You: What a terrible fate.
You: Fireworks are best left to be imported from the chinese.
Stranger: yes ill metion that to phil if i ever see him again
You: Yes you should.
You: It is a nice piece of advice.
Stranger: its suck a shame that phil the duck gets sea sick see the thing is i live under the sea so i dont know if phil will be able to come visit!
You: Oh blast it all.
You: The reason is, when he was a young little duckling, some mean tortoises thought he was a floaty toy
You: but he almost drowned
You: So he gets very sick and starts blasting chunks at the sight of water
Stranger: it seems that phil hasnt had much luck in life
You: No, no he hasn’t.
You: Maybe he should start being lucky.
Stranger: maybe it would be a good idea
You: Hmm…
You: Maybe..
Stranger: do you think phil would be offended that i have a duck money box?
You: Probably
You: He takes offence at the slightest things these days though..
You: Every time you try to feed him he sees it as a plot to poison him and he throws a tantrum.
You: It is quite an ugly scene.
Stranger: oh phil!
Stranger: i think he might need some metal help
You: Yes he does need his new sword tampered.
You: It broke the other day when he was hitting it at a wall looking for hidden passageways to bomb.
Stranger: oh no!!
Stranger: tell him not to
Stranger: i had a friend who did that and it ended badly
You: Ohh..
You: I better stop it the next time I see fit,
You: for you see it is not easy to track Phil.
You: He is quite the adventurer
Stranger: mind of his own im quite sure
Stranger: ducks are often like that
You: Yes I agree.
You: Although he acts adventurous, he gets home sick real easy.
You: But when combined with sea sickness, it is a nasty sight.
Stranger: i must say i feel quite sorry for phil
You: Yes, but no need.
You: He is a good duck.
You: And he is somewhat properly tooken care of.
You: but he doesn’t seem to realize he is a duck
Stranger: how do you tell when your curtains need watering?
Stranger: i think mine are almost ready…
You: I don’t know.
You: Maybe when they start to shrivel up and turn brown?
Stranger: no no
Stranger: i think that would be a bit too late dont you?
You: Maybe,
You: I wouldn’t know as I am not responsible enough to have curtains of my own.
Stranger: ill ask my fish
Stranger: the baby ones are quite smart
You: Yes fish can be quite wise.
Stranger: like oysters
You: Nooo Phil is dead?!
You: My life is over!
You have disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hello bitch
You: Hello!
Stranger: lol jk whats your name
You: If I told you I’d have to kill you
You: and you?
Stranger: fuck you then
I don’t know if I “did it right” exactly
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A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hey
You: I’m touching my boobs…
Stranger: cool
You: But I’m a really fat male.
You: Sorry.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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These are awesome!
If anyone’s interested, I just registered overheardonomegle.tumblr.com: it’s a group blog of the wierd/funny/insane conversations you have on omegle (if you want to be added to contribute, feel free to email me at chainreader -at- yahoo -dot- com).
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A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: you
Stranger: me?
You: yes, you
You: i love
You: …
You: you
Stranger: asl
Stranger: Im wanking btw
You: you wana jerk off to American Sign Language?!?!?! YOU FREAK!
You have disconnected.
I had to google it before i really knew what asl really meant.
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Speachless?
Stranger: OMG HI
Stranger: I’m so glad to be paired with you.
You: hi
You: why is that?
Stranger: I’ve heard an awful lot about you.
You: no way!
Stranger: Yeah wai!
You: tell me everything!
Stranger: Well.
Stranger: I heard you’re a hot blonde.
Stranger: With huge knockers.
You: and they told you that I’m lesbian?
Stranger: Mhhm
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Stranger: You have contacted Chase banking accouts how may i help you today?
You: yes, uh
You: id like to open an account
Stranger: ok
You: and maybe… wait…
You: can i get fries with that?
You: or will that cost extra?
Stranger: yes 100 dollars
You: f*ck.
You: well ok.
You: ill just go to wendy’s
You have disconnected.
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im not freaking kidding… this happened to me like 3 times in a row… i thought it was a virus
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hi come online now ok plz
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i consider each conversation a work of art, a comedic challenge of improv; i’d love to see some of your conversations/opinions randall x
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: hi, i have this theory that famous people chat on omegle anonymously
You: so i’m going to chat to lots of people, and just ask them if they’re famous
You: ARE YOU FAMOUS?!
Stranger: YES!!
You: ok
You: now i’m going to guess who you are
You: dustin hoffman?
Stranger: Nope
You: ….. that’s all i got
You: who are you?
Stranger: The world may never know
You: but if the world guessed “the fat guy from nypd blue,” the world would probably be right….
You have disconnected.
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: OMG COBRAS ARE ATTACKING ME
You: i’m trying to have the best chat possible
You: i don’t think it’s going to be with you…..
You have disconnected.
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Seems to me that Omegle is watching a trainwreck on demand.
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I love leaving them saying “Wtf” to themselves
Connecting to server…
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: OMG
You: hi
Stranger: hi
Stranger: …
You: wassupp homie
You: you dont like me 😦
Stranger: i’m eating a sandwich
You: mmmm whats on it?
Stranger: bacon
Stranger: lettuce
Stranger: tomato
Stranger: mayo
You: BLT + M
You: have fun rubbing that mayo all over yourself
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hey
Stranger: hello
Stranger: ?_?
You: would you like to sniff my air freshener?
Stranger: what?
Stranger: ^^
You: i asked, would you like to sniff my air freshener?
Stranger: no~
You: aww, but its pine fresh
You: dont you dare disconnect
Stranger: good
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hey looking for a horny girl with webcam is that you?
You: yup
Stranger: nice
You: I will now precede to shove my webcam up your ass.
You: And stab your face with a blunt knife.
You: Oohhh.
You: That turns me on.
You: Watching you die a horrible death, I mean.
You: Like so many other pervs I encountered.
You: Let’s just stay this way forever, hmm?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: girl, 16, sweden… i only talks to goodlocking guys with pictures.
You: Okay.
You: Well, I’m a terrible looking guy without real pictures.
You: But I have fake ones.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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butsecks
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: A wild ABRA appears
You: OH NOES, NOT A WILED ABRA!!!!
You: LETS KILL IT!!!!
You: GET THE GUN!!!
Stranger: 😦
You: *BOOM!!!*
You: It’s dead.
You: Yay! I got a teleporter!
You: *I use teleport*
You: WOW!
You: I arrived in the home of the wiled abras!
Stranger: No
Stranger: Please
You: Lets shoot them alllll!!!!
Stranger: Don’t…
Stranger: Please…
You: *BOOM BOOM BOOM!!!*
You: Diieeeeeeeeee!!!
Stranger: Noo!
Stranger: NOOOO!!!
Stranger: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
You: Dieeeee wiled abras!!!!
Stranger: NOOOOO!!
You: Wahahahaaaaaaaaahahaaaaaa!!!!
You: Wooohoooo!!!
You: Killlllllllll!!!!
Stranger: You have not heart… 😦
You: *BOOM BOOM BOOM!!! BOOM BOOM BOOM!!!*
You: *wiled abras splatter everywhere*
Stranger: *I start to cry*
You: Come on, no one likes wiled abras.
Stranger: FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, YOU ARE NOT A MAN, YOU ARE A MONSTER =(
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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I think if ever I were to start rapping professionally…. this would have been my motivation.
Stranger: the girl I fuck last week is so loose
Stranger: I wanna sleep when I was fucking
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: Heeey!
You: hi im touching myself
Stranger: I called her on the phone and she touched herself.
Stranger: She touched herself.
Stranger: She touched herself
Stranger: I called her on the phone and she touched herself
You: yeh you like the song too
Stranger: I laughed myself to sleeeeep
Stranger: Yuup, love it.
You: lol
You: few ppl dont get it
Stranger: Hey, can you do my a favor?
Stranger: Dumb people
Stranger: -me
You: what
Stranger: Well, can you look up the world’s youngest pregnancy for me?
You: can you ?
Stranger: I can’t my dad’s a faggot-fuck and blocked it.
You: OMGee 5 yrs!
Stranger: Fivee?!
Stranger: I SURE BEAT THE HELL OUTTA THAT BITCH
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: seig heil!
You: Hi!
You: Is that German?
Stranger: I am Hitler
You: I am a Jew
Stranger: oh my god
You: Yep
You: Want to incinerate me?
Stranger: Do you realize who I am?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: of course
You: Hitler, I assume, like you already said
You: I actually have a question for you, Hitler
Stranger: I am your Fuhrer
Stranger: Ask away
You: Did you just target the Jews to gain power, or do you really hate us.
You: ?
You: I’ve heard both
Stranger: I need the power
Stranger: It is addicting
You: Alright
You: Well, I think being power hungary is better than being racist
Stranger: Yes
Stranger: Well
Stranger: I am racist.
Stranger: I am both
You: See, that’s not what I want to here
Stranger: Why not?
Stranger: I was a decent man
You: If you were just to say that you realize that Jews are racially equal but you needed us as a scapegoat, I would feel much better about the Holocaus
Stranger: I apologize
Stranger: I was an evil man
You: I accept the apology
You: Though I’m not sure if I have appropriate standing within the Jewish community
You: You might want to talk to Elie Wiesel
Stranger: You must tell them hitler is sorry
Stranger: Call cnn and tell them hitler is sorry
You: My phone’s broken.
You: I got pushed into a pool and now I have to let it dry out before utilizing it
You: So no late-night CNN phone calls
Stranger: Damn
You: Sorry
Stranger: who pushed you?
You: My friend’s brother
Stranger: KILL HIM
You: I thought about it
You: But we were pretty drunk at the time, so I think I’ll let it slide, just this once
Stranger: I have decided that i am going to join the new black panther party
Stranger: you think they’d let me in
Stranger: ?
You: That’s pretty iffy
Stranger: or is kkk better?
You: Isn’t Cynthia Mckiney leading a bunch of ex black panthers?
Stranger: yes
You: She’s crazy
You: And you’d probably have a better chance of getting into the KKK
Stranger: ok
Stranger: What do you think about Obama?
Stranger: Evil man?
You: I can’t stand his economics, but other than that he’s decent
You: At least he can speak proper Englsih
You: *English
Stranger: I hear most negros can’t speak very well, is this true?
You: Well, certain dialects exist within black communities that are considered poor English
You: and are taken as a sign of low intelligence
You: but Obama can most certainly speak well
Stranger: ahh
Stranger: i see
You: What’s your opinion on Obama?
Stranger: certainly he is an educated negro
Stranger: he needs to be more strict on peoples rights!!
Stranger: i do not like when people do not agree with me
You: You know Hitler, in a few ways you could be compared to Obama. You’re both excellent at harnessing people’s emotions for your personal gain and then taking away certain rights. Admittedly, Obama is only restricting economic freedom, but still, there are a few vague similarities
Stranger: Ohh, that is nice
Stranger: Does he like guns?
You: No, he does not
Stranger: Good
You: Do you like guns?
Stranger: Yes
Stranger: but not in the hands of the people
You: I see
You: I don’t think Obama really likes guns in the hands of the people, but with the 2nd Amendment there’s only so much you can really do
You: I guess you didn’t have that problem though
Stranger: no i did not
Stranger: i must go. I have another holocaust to start.
You: OK
You: It was good talking to you
Stranger: i will remeber you
You: Target a group other than the Jews for once
You: We’ve dealt with enough shit
Stranger: i will target negros
Stranger: good, yes?
You: They’ve already suffered a fair bit
You: How about Catholics?
Stranger: Hispanics?
You: Or Southern Baptists?
Stranger: Catholics
Stranger: how about christians
Stranger: all together
Stranger: how about muslims?
You: Well, Christians have had an unfair advantage for the past millenium
You: They could be taken down a notch
Stranger: hmm..so i’ve heard
Stranger: Alright!
Stranger: christians it is
You: Well, have fun
Stranger: I will remeber this!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
d
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You: Hey
You: Stranger is typing…
Stranger: Hey ask me any question. I don’t care how personal.
You: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?
Stranger: My tendency to be really defensive
You: Why do you find having strangers question you over the internet so enjoyable?
You: (I like it too, by the way)
Stranger: Because I feel I can be really honest, and not be judged. What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?
You: My tendency to lie to people (in certain situations where I have relatively little interaction with them) about my opinions so as to avoid conflict
You: Do you believe that life has meaning?
Stranger: I do. I think that everyone does something to impact the world, whether directly or indirectly. You said you lie a lot. What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told?
You: It’s hard to measure exactly the extent of the lie, but at my old school I lied to everyone about what school I had gone to the previous year
You: I guess that’s not a big lie though, just widespread
You: So scratch that
You: At a class I had to take a couple weeks ago, I told the people I talked to that I was in a different year in school with a different clique, different activities, all that. I pretended to be much less intelligent than I am and even wore totally different style clothes
You: What do you consider the most interesting thing about yourself?
Stranger: Im ‘diverse’My mothers from France and my fathers from england, and I speak a ton of different languages…mostly not fluently.
Stranger: You?
You: I have an absolutely bizzare educational history. I skipped 5th grade and 8th grade, went to college through an early entrance program right after 9th grade, got kicked out after a year, and went back to high school for what ended up being my senior year.
You: Who is your role model?
Stranger: My role model…can’t say that I have one. I like to live in my own way, for myself wthout any one major impactor. There have been people that have influenced me, but only slightly. You?
You: I don’t currently have a role model, mostly because I’m having a bit of a values crisis and have no idea what I want to do with my life. What is your primary goal in life?
Stranger: Haha, basically, i’m going to graduate from cornell, go to law school, work for the DA, specializing in juvinile crimes, go on to be a DA, and then a judge and them I’m going to be in congress, publish a bestselling novel and have a talk show. And get married, and have four girls and one boy somewhere in there. You?
You: Well, right now it’s changing pretty constantly, but my main plan, the most feasible one, is to graduate college with a degree in biology, go to grad school, become a researcher in either genetics or neuroscience, and then hopefully find a way to get off this planet.
You: If given the opportunity to leave Earth forever (with the people you cared about), would you do it?
Stranger: Probably not…if I had to go forever. Just because it’s too unknown to me and as much as I love change and adventure and everything…it’s too much. Why do you want to?
You: I think that getting away from Earth would provide incredible perspective. In every way, our minds are tailored to this planet, and I think that limits us. Also, I’m just not a big fan of what happens on this planet. I don’t think humanity is inherantly evil or anything, but the situation here is insustainable (and not in the environmental sense)
You: How would you define love?
Stranger: Love is happiness and the unknowing and being vulnerable to another person who in return is the same way towarda you and you can’t live without that person. You??
You: Love is being willing to sacrifice your life for someone
You: Do you believe in God?
Stranger: I believe he’s there, but I don’t think he’s completely what he’s said to be. Like, I think he caused the universe to form, but I don’t think he did it. Kind of like that…not completely the devout catholic my parents think I am. You?
You: I’m a Catholic-raised ethnically Jewish atheist. I believe that the universe is completely rational and that God doesn’t exist, but at the same time I’m very much attracted to Jewish cultural traditions, even though I don’t believe they serve any objective purpose
And then my internet connection crapped out. Technology disappoints me sometimes.
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A wild Jesus appears!
Stranger: Stranger uses Atheism!
You: lmao
You: YES1
You: some1 that cooperated@
Stranger: Stranger is impervious to Jesus’s atacks
You: fuck
Stranger: Stranger uses basic logic!
You: go, Stan Lee I choose you!
You: Stan Lee suffers 57 damage
Stranger: Stranger uses Anit Semitism (is stan lee a jew?)
You: (no idea)
Stranger: (he certainly looks like it)
You: (i know hmmm sureynot)
Stranger: (his real last name was Lieber. Jewish???)
You: wait wait wait i messed up neway
You: i said a wild jesus
Stranger: …
You: im no trainer
You: FUCK!
Stranger: Oh
You: abra!out now!
You have disconnected.
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idk, i was bored, and now i feel the urge to share
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: Daddy is that you?I’ve been looking for ages..WHY DID YOU LEAVE MOMMY AND ME?!?!?!
Stranger: Who is Gordon B. Hinckley?
You: WHO CARES!!!WHY DID U LEAVE US?!?!?!
Stranger: I needed to get my drink on
You: WE COOKED WE CLEANED, WE EVEN ACTED AS SEX SLAVES FOR YOU AND YOUR PISSING FETISHES!!!
Stranger: I decided to go out on a quest to discover who Gordon B. Hinckley was.
Stranger: But i never found ou
Stranger: t
Stranger: I can’t return to you until I find out who he is
You: come back..please daddy..
Stranger: D:
Stranger: I’m sorry.
Stranger: Goodbye.
You: WE’ll HELP YOU FIND HIM, JUST DON’T LEAVE US!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Stranger: hi
Stranger: are u human?
Stranger: I keep getting ads
You: yes
You: fucking bots
You: i hate ’em
Stranger: me too
Stranger: I got literally 8 in a row
You: i know me too
Stranger: so what kinds of things do you like to do?
You: eat chex mix
Stranger: I play gitar 🙂
Stranger: sweet
You: its got 60% less fat than potato chips u know
Stranger: thats cool. Chex mix is very good
Stranger: I want some now 😦
You: haha
You: finally..ive been trying to get somebody to talk with me about chex mix,, thank u lol
Stranger: ha no problem
Stranger: I hate the creeps with no lives trying to have chating sex online
Stranger: there losers
You: yes, i know…when they ask me i usually say there are plenty of porn and webcam sites out there… go to one of those instead of here
Stranger: yea no kidding
Stranger: its at least pictures not words
You: exactly
Stranger: this site is cool. Ive made a couple new friends 🙂
You: me too
Stranger: usually just for facebook
You: fuck facebook
You have disconnected.
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lol…it was pretty good
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hi
You: hello
Stranger: are you my parent?
You: b..billy is that you?
Stranger: yes its me
You: I’ve been looking everywhere!
You: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
Stranger: the woods
You: but..i told u not to go in the woods!
You: WHY DON’T YOU EVER LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER AND ME?
Stranger: im sorry dad
Stranger: i…i just wanted to look around
You: ugh, you’ll be grounded for this i hope you know
You: well billy, are you happy with yourself now?
Stranger: no
You: you made your mother cry all night!
Stranger: where is she?
You: *sigh*…billy did u at least find anything?
You: shes in the hospital now
You: she had a heart attack
Stranger: i…i found a little kitten
Stranger: i wanted to show her to mom
You: well was finding the fucking kitten worth sending your mom to the hospital Billy?!?!?!
Stranger: *sniffs* no dad
You: EXACTLY!
You: NOW WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?
Stranger: *starts crying* i dont know dad just please stop yelling
You: fine fine Billy..I’ll stop yelling
Stranger: thanks dad
You: at least your back safe
You: but *sigh*…..we’ll have to explain this to your mother
Stranger: i know
You: and i don’t think she’ll be very happy
Stranger: i hope shes ok at least
You: ..she’s in the goddamn hospital Billy..
Stranger: i know dad
You: They say she won’t make it for more than a week…
You: turns out their were….”complications”
Stranger: oh god…
You: yeah…
You: we’re not entirely sure what exactly is going on
You: but her blood pressure is off the chart
You: she can barely talk
Stranger: well can we go see her?
You: and…Billy…she…she can’t move! *begins to cry*
You: I Believe we should
You: but it’s late
You: ..we’ll go first thing in the morning Billy
Stranger: ok
Stranger: -hugs you-
You: Now I want you to go to your room and think about what you’ve done
You: and son…
You: I love you, you know that right?
Stranger: yes dad
Stranger: and i love you too
Stranger: *goes to my room*
You: *sigh* what will I do with that kid..
You: *screams loudly, in pain*
Stranger: dad?
You: b…billy….come here son
Stranger: *runs to you* what dad?
You: I..I should’ve told you sooner son…
You: son…I have cancer
You: I’ve had it for awhile now….they told me when i took your mother to the hospital..that…that i wouldn’t make it through the night billy..
Stranger: ok dad…
You: also one more thing son…you’re adopted..
Stranger: I…I’m adopted?!?!?!
You: Yes son…now i can die peacefully at least..goodbye son…I;ve taken care of everythin..Your real parents will be here soon. *dies*
Stranger: dad..i..i love you..Dad?..DAD?!?!NOOOO *breaks down crying*
i..i can’t live without you..I’ll be with you soon dad
Stranger: *Grabs gun*, I’ll see you soon dad…*shoots self and dies*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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can’t..stop..posting…..this is what sometimes happens when somebody tries to be weird at me
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: are you watching porn or something?
You: no i am not
You: would u like me to?
You: i can do it for u my love
Stranger: um.
You: ok mmmmmmmm
You: feels gooooooood
You: i love this
You: come here
You: rub this oil on me
You: mmmmm thats the spot
You: now call me daddy while i spank you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Stranger: Shillelagh!
You: SHIT!!!
Stranger: What?
You: It’s Janie… somebody let her out of her cage…You know what happens when she gets loose
Stranger: Oh man, I do. Now I’m scared. x_x
You: She could be in town by now, we need to tell the authorities.
Stranger: I’m too scared to leave my room!
You: Be brave… go get your phone and call the police.
Stranger: You first.
Stranger: I think she’s coming after me!
You: OH SHIT RUNNN
Stranger: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
Stranger: No.
Stranger: She’s outside my house.
Stranger: What should I do?!
You: Do you have any guns in your house?
Stranger: No D;
Stranger: Can you come over and save me?!
You: Damn.
Stranger: Hurry!
You: But what if she comes after me
Stranger: I don’t want her to get my dog.
Stranger: Um um um….
You: You want her to come after me don’t you?
Stranger: I HAVE AN IDEA.
Stranger: Steal a Hummer, crash it into my house, me and my dog will jump in, and then we can drive away.
You: That might just be crazy enough to work.
Stranger: You don’t even have to leave the car.
Stranger: Yes!
Stranger: I think so.
You: B..But the nearest Hummer dealership is 40 miles away !
Stranger: Oh no!
Stranger: Do your neighbors have any large cars?!
You: No, they all went with the new electic tiny cars.
Stranger: Ew!
Stranger: Um.
Stranger: Where do you even live?! Like, Japan?!
You: I know i told them it was a bad choice in vehicle but they wouldnt listen
Stranger: Hurry, Janie is attacking my house!
You: Oh … I’m panicing… i don’t know what to do.
Stranger: Hurry! Um!
You: AHHH
Stranger: Bring raw meat, run to my house, throw it at her face, then save me!
You: * raids refrigerator*
You: I’m on my way.
Stranger: We need a codeword.
Stranger: So I know it’s you and not her.
You: Umm…Umm… sailboat?
Stranger: Alright!
You: *arrives at house*
You: *throws meat*
Stranger: *jumps out window*
Stranger: *runs to you*
Stranger: NOW WHAT?
You: Oh shit… she didn’t take the meat.
Stranger: Oh damn.
You: She’s coming after us!!
Stranger: *runs away*
Stranger: Hurry!
You: Where to ?!
Stranger: What about that tree house?! *gestures to large tree*
You: YES!! Janie has always had a fear of heights.
Stranger: GOOD!
Stranger: *climbs up*
You: *gasps*
You: Now what?
Stranger: Let’s throw pinecones at her!
You: *throws pinecones*
You: It’s only making her angry
Stranger: *throws pinecones*
Stranger: Um.
Stranger: Let’s dance around naked and see if she laughs!
You: Good idea!
Stranger: *dances around naked*
You: *Janie laughs*
Stranger: Dance around naked!
Stranger: Make her laugh harder!
You: *we both dance furiously until we are tired and Janie can’t laugh anymore*
Stranger: Oh now, now we are tired and naked!
Stranger: What the hell do we do now?!
You: Um.. have sex…that solves every problem.
Stranger: Alright, sounds good to me.
You: I wish there was a stereo in the treehouse.
Stranger: Let’s sing then!
Stranger: While having sex.
Stranger: I feel a little weird with Janie watching, anyway. It’ll help me relax.
You: *Janie starts climbing tree*
Stranger: WHAT?
Stranger: WHAT?!
Stranger: What now?
Stranger: Stop being slow! This is serious!
You: She always was afraid of heights before.. she’s changed.
You: I’m sorry… I’m scared..
Stranger: Um!
Stranger: Let’s throw pinecones and knock her off!
You: It’l never work.
Stranger: -_-
Stranger: What do we do?!
You: *points at branch*
Stranger: *Throws your clothes at her for distraction*
You: Break it off and hit her with it.
Stranger: *Breaks branch*
You: *points at branch again* Hurry we dont have long
Stranger: *Hits Janie*
You: Good..that will buy us more time.
Stranger: *Puts on clothes quickly*
Stranger: I feel better dressed. What should we do!?
You: We should get my clothes now, they’re on the ground next to Janie.
Stranger: Um, how?!
You: I’m still thinking.
You: Nevermind.. I’ll be fine without clothes
You: We need to do something quick.
Stranger: Um!
You: Shit! now she really looks pissed.
Stranger: We can tie my clothes into a whip and smack her!
You: It’s worth a try.
Stranger: *Strips, ties clothes into a whip*
Stranger: Whip her!
You: W-What….You want me to do it!!!??
Stranger: YES!
Stranger: Do it!
You: *attempts to whip her and drops it*
You: Oh damn…
Stranger: WHAT?!
You: AHHHH
Stranger: Use your penis this time and whip her!
You: No way…..
You: We’re not that desperate yet
Stranger: Well!
Stranger: What do we do then?!
You: Jump and run
Stranger: Jump off a tree?!
Stranger: Naked?!
You: It’s better than dying in a tree….naked
You: Quick..Janie’s getting up.
Stranger: Very true.
Stranger: You first!
Stranger: So I can land on you!
You: No.
You: We jump together.
Stranger: Alright!
Stranger: *grabs your hand, jumps*
You: *lands very roughly*
You: Are you OK?
Stranger: I don’t know…. I’m scratched in places no one should ever be scratched.
You: Oh damn… you’re right… I hope to God those heal.
Stranger: Me too.
Stranger: Let’s run now, though!
Stranger: *runs*
Stranger: Are you okay?
You: Yes.
You: Just sore.
Stranger: Why aren’t you running?
You: It is starting to hurt a lot..
You: AHHHH
Stranger: !?
You: *limps in agony*
Stranger: We can hide over in that cave… *gestures*
You: Yes, the perfectly placed cave, good idea.
Stranger: Yes, of course.
You: *arrives at cave*
Stranger: *checks out leg*
Stranger: Looks broken.
You: Damn.. but it would be pointless trying to get this fixed in this situation.. I’ll have to fight through the pain.
Stranger: Gah. I’ll make you a quick splint with that random log.
Stranger: *makes splint*
Stranger: And I’ll attach it to your leg with some of those vines…
Stranger: *Ties around leg*
Stranger: Alright, there.
You: It’s not perfect.. but it will do
You: Oh God.. what’s that i see at the cave entrance…
Stranger: Oh no.
Stranger: Let’s run farther back!
You: *runs farther back*
Stranger: *follows*
You: This is the end of the cave.. and she’s getting closer
Stranger: We’ll have to fight… Hand to hand…
You: I thought it would never have to come to this but… here it goes..
Stranger: I’m scared.
You: Look!!, two perfectly places branches
You: Let’s use those
Stranger: Yes!
Stranger: *arms self with branch*
You: *me too*
You: Alright, the time has come… here we go!
Stranger: Let’s go…!
Stranger: *swings at Janie*
You: *swings*
You: She’s putting up a fight!
Stranger: Ugh, I know
Stranger: *grunts, swings again*
You: We can’t give up. Keep swinging!
Stranger: *swings harder*
You: YES!!, she’s hurt.. keep at it.
Stranger: *jabs at her with sharp end*
You: You did it
You: !!!!
Stranger: Win.
You: I can’t believe its over.
Stranger: I know…
Stranger: It all started out in the safety of home, and now we are naked in a cave by Janie’s fallen corpse.
Stranger: Wow.
You: I love you.
Stranger: I love you, too.
You: We’ve been through so much.
Stranger: I know…
Stranger: The meat, the tree, the pinecones, the branch, the sex, the whip, the jump, your leg, the splint, the cave… Now this.
You: But what do we do with Janie’s lifeless corpse?
Stranger: Cremation?
You: But, You remember how Janie was, do you really think she deserves a proper cremation??
Stranger: No, but I mean, I want to make sure she is actually DEAD…
You: Ok, let’s make a fire right here and toss her in.
Stranger: *rubs sticks together*
You: It’s not working.
You: Hey , let’s just use this random lighter i found!
Stranger: Um.
Stranger: Yes!
Stranger: What luck!
Stranger: *puts timber around Janie’s body*
You: *flicks the lighter*
Stranger: Is she burning?!
You: Yes.. it’s finally over.
Stranger: Wow…
You: *ashes being blown around in the cave*
Stranger: What relief.
Stranger: *sunlight streams through as the ashes sparkle*
Stranger: How weirdly poetic.
You: I like it.
You: Wanna have sex one more time before we have to go about our normal lives again?
Stranger: Yes. The splint makes your penis look bigger.
You: 😀 *smiles*
Stranger: WOOO!
You: That was good.. now I think it is time to go.
Stranger: Yes, it was.
Stranger: Sigh.
Stranger: I guess.
Stranger: Janie is over.
You: Finally.
You: *walks from cave holding hands*
You: *still naked of course*
Stranger: *smiles into the sunlight*
Stranger: Yes, of course.
Stranger: At least our tan lines will be gone.
You: I will still have one from my log splint though.
Stranger: Oh no.
Stranger: I think when your leg heals we should take another naked walk, to get rid of that.
You: Me too..
You: And until then…So long
You have disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: dlog eth lla leets yethh sewj etah I
Stranger: what?
Stranger: m or f?
Stranger: horny?
You: both of them I hate them all
You: yes I’m a spiky horn lizard
You: get the hell of omegle
You: you’re ruining it
Stranger: r u nude now?
You: no douche bag
Stranger: do u have dick orpussy?
You: go to a propper dirty chat site
You: I suggest http://www.goatse.cz
Stranger: do u have dick or pussy?
You: Are you a bot?
Stranger: what?
You: no wait a bot would know how to spell
You: did you cry when little foots mother died
You: ?
Stranger: no
You: BOT
You: works like a charm
Stranger: r u horny?
You: u can has mental retardation?
Stranger: fuck your mother
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
There’s some spelling mistakes but it’s late so dont blame me.
I also ignored capitalization.
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I feel terrified whenever I start one of these and leave immediately. Dunno why.
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Re: Sorry
I think I was the stranger when you said fuck facebook and left, I was shocked and lol’d
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: hello
Stranger: buttercup the stripper doesnt like asians
You: ….good to know
You have disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: LEAVE NO STONE UNTURNED!
You: KILL THEIR CHILDREN!
You: RAPE THEIR WOMEN!
Stranger: o.O
You: THEN KILL THEIR WOMEN!
Stranger: *slowly backs away*
You: LET THE PENTACLE RAIN DOWN BLOOD UPON THE-
You: Oh
You: Hi there.
Stranger: ._.
Stranger: Haii?
You: I was just sacrificing a goat and reciting my prayers.
You: Sorry.
You: 😀
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: COCKS
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Good going Monroe.
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: hi
Stranger: oi
Stranger: tdo bem?
You: tah kleh ohah
Stranger: eu nao entendi
You: juho keh alaha
Stranger: vc é escroto
You: escroto vaha
Stranger: salame com bacon
You: bacon es guto
Stranger: not!!
Stranger: ta me ouvindo adriano
You: me enamo alan
Stranger: miercoles
Stranger: me enamo tanucio carlos
You: tanucio buenos vuenedos
Stranger: today is jueves
You: today is saturday
Stranger: in my country is friday
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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I think I’d give anything to have you, not the Tylers I keep getting, be on the other side of that chat window. Still, 24 hours in a day, factoring in time zone differences, 3000+ people online at any time… it wouldn’t be impossible, eh?
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: Shillelagh!
You: SHIT!!!
Stranger: What?
You: It’s Janie… somebody let her out of her cage…You know what happens when she gets loose
Stranger: Oh man, I do. Now I’m scared. x_x
You: She could be in town by now, we need to tell the authorities.
Stranger: I’m too scared to leave my room!
You: Be brave… go get your phone and call the police.
Stranger: You first.
Stranger: I think she’s coming after me!
You: OH SHIT RUNNN
Stranger: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
Stranger: No.
Stranger: She’s outside my house.
Stranger: What should I do?!
You: Do you have any guns in your house?
Stranger: No D;
Stranger: Can you come over and save me?!
You: Damn.
Stranger: Hurry!
You: But what if she comes after me
Stranger: I don’t want her to get my dog.
Stranger: Um um um….
You: You want her to come after me don’t you?
Stranger: I HAVE AN IDEA.
Stranger: Steal a Hummer, crash it into my house, me and my dog will jump in, and then we can drive away.
You: That might just be crazy enough to work.
Stranger: You don’t even have to leave the car.
Stranger: Yes!
Stranger: I think so.
You: B..But the nearest Hummer dealership is 40 miles away !
Stranger: Oh no!
Stranger: Do your neighbors have any large cars?!
You: No, they all went with the new electic tiny cars.
Stranger: Ew!
Stranger: Um.
Stranger: Where do you even live?! Like, Japan?!
You: I know i told them it was a bad choice in vehicle but they wouldnt listen
Stranger: Hurry, Janie is attacking my house!
You: Oh … I’m panicing… i don’t know what to do.
Stranger: Hurry! Um!
You: AHHH
Stranger: Bring raw meat, run to my house, throw it at her face, then save me!
You: * raids refrigerator*
You: I’m on my way.
Stranger: We need a codeword.
Stranger: So I know it’s you and not her.
You: Umm…Umm… sailboat?
Stranger: Alright!
You: *arrives at house*
You: *throws meat*
Stranger: *jumps out window*
Stranger: *runs to you*
Stranger: NOW WHAT?
You: Oh shit… she didn’t take the meat.
Stranger: Oh damn.
You: She’s coming after us!!
Stranger: *runs away*
Stranger: Hurry!
You: Where to ?!
Stranger: What about that tree house?! *gestures to large tree*
You: YES!! Janie has always had a fear of heights.
Stranger: GOOD!
Stranger: *climbs up*
You: *gasps*
You: Now what?
Stranger: Let’s throw pinecones at her!
You: *throws pinecones*
You: It’s only making her angry
Stranger: *throws pinecones*
Stranger: Um.
Stranger: Let’s dance around naked and see if she laughs!
You: Good idea!
Stranger: *dances around naked*
You: *Janie laughs*
Stranger: Dance around naked!
Stranger: Make her laugh harder!
You: *we both dance furiously until we are tired and Janie can’t laugh anymore*
Stranger: Oh now, now we are tired and naked!
Stranger: What the hell do we do now?!
You: Um.. have sex…that solves every problem.
Stranger: Alright, sounds good to me.
You: I wish there was a stereo in the treehouse.
Stranger: Let’s sing then!
Stranger: While having sex.
Stranger: I feel a little weird with Janie watching, anyway. It’ll help me relax.
You: *Janie starts climbing tree*
Stranger: WHAT?
Stranger: WHAT?!
Stranger: What now?
Stranger: Stop being slow! This is serious!
You: She always was afraid of heights before.. she’s changed.
You: I’m sorry… I’m scared..
Stranger: Um!
Stranger: Let’s throw pinecones and knock her off!
You: It’l never work.
Stranger: -_-
Stranger: What do we do?!
You: *points at branch*
Stranger: *Throws your clothes at her for distraction*
You: Break it off and hit her with it.
Stranger: *Breaks branch*
You: *points at branch again* Hurry we dont have long
Stranger: *Hits Janie*
You: Good..that will buy us more time.
Stranger: *Puts on clothes quickly*
Stranger: I feel better dressed. What should we do!?
You: We should get my clothes now, they’re on the ground next to Janie.
Stranger: Um, how?!
You: I’m still thinking.
You: Nevermind.. I’ll be fine without clothes
You: We need to do something quick.
Stranger: Um!
You: Shit! now she really looks pissed.
Stranger: We can tie my clothes into a whip and smack her!
You: It’s worth a try.
Stranger: *Strips, ties clothes into a whip*
Stranger: Whip her!
You: W-What….You want me to do it!!!??
Stranger: YES!
Stranger: Do it!
You: *attempts to whip her and drops it*
You: Oh damn…
Stranger: WHAT?!
You: AHHHH
Stranger: Use your penis this time and whip her!
You: No way…..
You: We’re not that desperate yet
Stranger: Well!
Stranger: What do we do then?!
You: Jump and run
Stranger: Jump off a tree?!
Stranger: Naked?!
You: It’s better than dying in a tree….naked
You: Quick..Janie’s getting up.
Stranger: Very true.
Stranger: You first!
Stranger: So I can land on you!
You: No.
You: We jump together.
Stranger: Alright!
Stranger: *grabs your hand, jumps*
You: *lands very roughly*
You: Are you OK?
Stranger: I don’t know…. I’m scratched in places no one should ever be scratched.
You: Oh damn… you’re right… I hope to God those heal.
Stranger: Me too.
Stranger: Let’s run now, though!
Stranger: *runs*
Stranger: Are you okay?
You: Yes.
You: Just sore.
Stranger: Why aren’t you running?
You: It is starting to hurt a lot..
You: AHHHH
Stranger: !?
You: *limps in agony*
Stranger: We can hide over in that cave… *gestures*
You: Yes, the perfectly placed cave, good idea.
Stranger: Yes, of course.
You: *arrives at cave*
Stranger: *checks out leg*
Stranger: Looks broken.
You: Damn.. but it would be pointless trying to get this fixed in this situation.. I’ll have to fight through the pain.
Stranger: Gah. I’ll make you a quick splint with that random log.
Stranger: *makes splint*
Stranger: And I’ll attach it to your leg with some of those vines…
Stranger: *Ties around leg*
Stranger: Alright, there.
You: It’s not perfect.. but it will do
You: Oh God.. what’s that i see at the cave entrance…
Stranger: Oh no.
Stranger: Let’s run farther back!
You: *runs farther back*
Stranger: *follows*
You: This is the end of the cave.. and she’s getting closer
Stranger: We’ll have to fight… Hand to hand…
You: I thought it would never have to come to this but… here it goes..
Stranger: I’m scared.
You: Look!!, two perfectly places branches
You: Let’s use those
Stranger: Yes!
Stranger: *arms self with branch*
You: *me too*
You: Alright, the time has come… here we go!
Stranger: Let’s go…!
Stranger: *swings at Janie*
You: *swings*
You: She’s putting up a fight!
Stranger: Ugh, I know
Stranger: *grunts, swings again*
You: We can’t give up. Keep swinging!
Stranger: *swings harder*
You: YES!!, she’s hurt.. keep at it.
Stranger: *jabs at her with sharp end*
You: You did it
You: !!!!
Stranger: Win.
You: I can’t believe its over.
Stranger: I know…
Stranger: It all started out in the safety of home, and now we are naked in a cave by Janie’s fallen corpse.
Stranger: Wow.
You: I love you.
Stranger: I love you, too.
You: We’ve been through so much.
Stranger: I know…
Stranger: The meat, the tree, the pinecones, the branch, the sex, the whip, the jump, your leg, the splint, the cave… Now this.
You: But what do we do with Janie’s lifeless corpse?
Stranger: Cremation?
You: But, You remember how Janie was, do you really think she deserves a proper cremation??
Stranger: No, but I mean, I want to make sure she is actually DEAD…
You: Ok, let’s make a fire right here and toss her in.
Stranger: *rubs sticks together*
You: It’s not working.
You: Hey , let’s just use this random lighter i found!
Stranger: Um.
Stranger: Yes!
Stranger: What luck!
Stranger: *puts timber around Janie’s body*
You: *flicks the lighter*
Stranger: Is she burning?!
You: Yes.. it’s finally over.
Stranger: Wow…
You: *ashes being blown around in the cave*
Stranger: What relief.
Stranger: *sunlight streams through as the ashes sparkle*
Stranger: How weirdly poetic.
You: I like it.
You: Wanna have sex one more time before we have to go about our normal lives again?
Stranger: Yes. The splint makes your penis look bigger.
You: 😀 *smiles*
Stranger: WOOO!
You: That was good.. now I think it is time to go.
Stranger: Yes, it was.
Stranger: Sigh.
Stranger: I guess.
Stranger: Janie is over.
You: Finally.
You: *walks from cave holding hands*
You: *still naked of course*
Stranger: *smiles into the sunlight*
Stranger: Yes, of course.
Stranger: At least our tan lines will be gone.
You: I will still have one from my log splint though.
Stranger: Oh no.
Stranger: I think when your leg heals we should take another naked walk, to get rid of that.
You: Me too..
You: And untill then…So long
You have disconnected.
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Stranger: m/f?
You: hello
Stranger: hi
You: what is this m f of which you speak
Stranger: male or female
You: oh i see
You: on my planet we have only one sex
You: florg
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: This was a triumph.
Stranger: not yet
Stranger: how might u be
Stranger: boy girl
You: I’m making a note here…
Stranger: thats scary
You: HUGE SUCCESS
Stranger: u get nuddies
You: It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Stranger: send me some
Stranger: …………
You: Aperture science:
You: We do what we must
You: because we can.
Stranger: fuck off
You: For the good of all of us…
Stranger: u like dick in your mouth
You: except the ones who are dead.
Stranger: dfhdl;shfldsfkljdsjfdsfdslflsdjf
You: But there’s no sense crying over every mistake.
Stranger: dfjl;dsjfldsjlfkdsjfldsj
You: You just keep on trying till you run out of cake…
Stranger: lksdjfldsjfldslfj
You: And the science gets done and you make a neat gun…
Stranger: dfljdslflsdjfneo
You: For the people who are still alive…
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hi
You: tl;dr
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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