Since last night I’ve been obsessively connecting to Omegle.
It’s a simple site that just connects you to a random person, anonymously, for a conversation.
It feels like that scene in Fight Club where the narrator sits down next to Tyler on the plane. Two strangers meeting, laying out their personality and sizing each other up in just a few words, with no expectations, and — thanks to anonymity — no consequences.
Except in this case, a lot of the time Tyler just screams “COCKS”, punches the narrator, and jumps out of the window.
Still, it’s fun!
xkcd 
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: What build of Windows 7 are you using?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: cyber
Stranger: sure
Stranger: m/f?
You: f
Stranger: really?
Stranger: age?
You: 19
Stranger: pretty young
Stranger: give it away!
Stranger: wel…?
You: Actually I’m a 12 year old male. You are very gullible. I’m sure you can find sexual gratification elsewhere, thank you.
Stranger: hahaha
You: :]
Stranger: lol
Stranger: where you from?
You: Canada
Stranger: nice, canada
Stranger: why did you start with the words ” cyber” ?
You: Just testing your response to external stimuli.
Stranger: and what did you expect to find out?
You: That humans have a drive to procreate, I guess. But I already knew that.
Stranger: im not looking for ” cyber” but when somebody is starting with these words…
You: I’m creating statistics.
You: You are one of the 40% that didn’t disconnect.
Stranger: Ah…creating statistics. Gooed for you, for a 12 year old male
You: It’s part of a psychological research project.
Stranger: and you do that for…? school…?
Stranger: hahaha, you’re funny
You: Thank you for volunteering.
Stranger: you’re welcome!
Stranger: anytime 😉
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: china
You: Hello
You: America
You: mainland?
Stranger: when is it?
You: 11:30
Stranger: wowo
Stranger: cool
You: pm
You: u?
Stranger: 14:30pm
You: date?
Stranger: 6-12
Stranger: and u?
You: 6-11
You: i thought so
You: you are 13 hours ahead of me
Stranger: yeah
You: 15
You: awesome
You: so, mainland china?
Stranger: yeah
You: awesome
You: do you watch dramas?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: love it
You: any taiwanese dramas?
Stranger: no,american’s
You: darn
Stranger: tv show
You: i watch taiwanese dramas and japanese dramas lol
You: and korean
You: with subtitles of course
Stranger: wow~
Stranger: i watch japanese a lot
You: I think the acting is better over there
You: because the directors rely on the acting of the actors rather than the special effects
You: But that’s just me. . .
You: What japanese dramas do you watch?
Stranger: wait, i should find how to spell
You: ?
Stranger: i don’t know how to translate
You: i see
You: so you speak mandarin then?
Stranger: chinese
You: what dialect?
You: mandarin is a form of chinese
Stranger: yeah it is that
You: ah coo
You: cool**
You: I was teaching myself Mandarin and Japanese
Stranger: do u like china?
You: I do
Stranger: wow~
Stranger: shake a hand
You: I think i prefer Taiwan though
You: shake
You: I haven’t seen too many pictures of China
Stranger: really, just because u like their tv show
You: because all of the dramas that i watch have taken place in Taiwan and not China
You: No, because I have seen more of it
You: I have more to like
Stranger: haha,that’s good
You: I like the cities in Taiwan
You: rather than the cities here in america
You: Here, the cities are super crowded
You: there, even in major cities, there is room for trees along the road
Stranger: u can make friend in “omegle”,a lot of taiwan
You: I’ve noticed
You: I’ve never actually met a taiwanese person on Omegle, but my friends have
Stranger: i have one ,i thougt i can introduce
Stranger: would u mind?
You: that would be awesome
You: You’re cool too, I’d like to be friends with you
Stranger: okay ,me,too
Stranger: wait a moment
Stranger: i’ll talk to him
You: okay
You: So, when you write in chinese, do you use characters or do you use romaji?
Stranger: “romaji” is what?
You: it is writing using the same characters as english, a-z
Stranger: yeah,as the english
You: awesome
You: I write in japanese using hiragana and am about to learn to use Kanji which are characters taken from China
You: But I still only know how to hold small conversations
Stranger: wait,that guy answering
Stranger: do u have msn?
You: I have gmail. . .but not msn
You: I have a hotmail account so i can use msn
Stranger: okay ,tell me
Stranger: i’ll let him add u
You: eq_kegladar@hotmail.com
Stranger: can i add u ,too?
You: yes
You: that would be cool
Stranger: my english name is Enid
Stranger: and u?
You: Daniel
Stranger: nice name ~
You: I think yours is cooler
You: how would you say that in chinese?
Stranger: that’s not mean anything
Stranger: do u want see my chinese name
You: sure
Stranger: ???
Stranger: well,he asked u ,can u online in msn?
You: and how would you pronounced it?
You: I am trying to log into msn
Stranger: sorry
You: I kinda forgot my password so i am resetting it
Stranger: oh~ maybe next time
You: It won’t take long
Stranger: he look handsome,i just knew him one day
You: cool
Stranger: okay~!
Stranger: so Daniel is a boy or a girl name?
You: boy
You: and you?
Stranger: sorry ,hope u don’t mind ,my english poor~
Stranger: i’m girl
Stranger: can i ask u age?
You: I am 17
Stranger: 21
You: it’s not that bad
You: awesome
Stranger: wow,kind of u
Stranger: my name sounds like”wangjingjing”
Stranger: have any idea?
Stranger: haha
Stranger: my english learned from american tvshow
You: any idea of what
You: awesome
Stranger: of my name
You: I am learning japanese and mandarin the same way lol
Stranger: shake a hands again
You: shake
Stranger: fair
You: cool
You: ok, i am signed into hotmail
You: j-cherish?
Stranger: yeah,it’s me
Stranger: and didi u see that guy?
You: yup
You: now trying to figure out how to use messenger online
Stranger: okay
Stranger: wait
You: does he speah english?
You: speak**
Stranger: i
Stranger: am
Stranger: not sure
You: okay
You: this could be fun
Stranger: becaue when we find each other,we knew we were chinese,so we type on chinese
You: awesome
Stranger: haha ~
Stranger: that’s funny
Stranger: do u like american tvshow?
Stranger: seems u don’t
You: some
You: I don’t watch tv here much
Stranger: wow,i see
Stranger: we should exchange
You: My parents are usually on
Stranger: cool
Stranger: still research how to use msn?
You: okay, downloaded the messenger now
Stranger: okay i can wait
Stranger: enough time
You: lol
You: it’s 13% installed
Stranger: haha
You: now 30%
Stranger: few days ago,i knew a guy in american,
Stranger: we just change our e-mail
You: I see
Stranger: cause i don’t have msn
You: I see
Stranger: now ,i have one ,and i told him
You: cool
You: So now you know 2 american people
Stranger: but he don’t add me~
You: 8(
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: maybe it’s the time problem
Stranger: i guess
You: maybe
Stranger: do u have a pic
You: No, i haven’t been on hotmail in 1 year. . . I will look for a picture on my computer, but I might not be able to find one.
You: If you have myspace you can see one of me on there
Stranger: okay~
Stranger: i can send u my
Stranger: or on msn
You: either one works
Stranger: okay
Stranger: did u finish ?
You: Yup, it just finished
Stranger: 🙂
You: Okay, I logged in
Stranger: umm
You: It says your online but he isn’t
Stranger: yeah,he is going to class
You: okay
Stranger: he said maybe tomorrow
You: Wow, it’s midnight here lol
You: okay, that works for me
Stranger: send
Stranger: did u get it?
You: yes
Stranger: we can close it
You: okay
You: this or that?
Stranger: this
You: okay, talk to you in the other window!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Captcha: Carpus Cuismano
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Stranger: hi
You: Will you please stick this Hello Kitty dildo up my ass?
Stranger: no
You: Why not?
You: It’s new.
You: And I am of age.
Stranger: I do not like
You: You do not like asses?
You: You can stick it up my vagina as well.
You: 😉
You: Ooooooh
You: I’m sticking it up my ass myself.
You: It feels so good.
Stranger: You may look for others
You: So tight.
You: Omg
You: Omg
You: It’s so full.
You: Please hold my hand.
You: I need you here with me.
You: AHHHHHHHH
You: OOOOOOOOH
Stranger: hahaha
You: It feels so good.
You: I’m fingering my clit with my toe.
You: It is bringing me to the peak.
Stranger: You continued to say
You: I am about to cum.
You: Pull my finger!
Stranger: I continue to smile
You: I’m cumming!
You: It’s gooshing all over your face!
You: You lick it off.
You: I smile.
You: And giggle.
You: I slowly pull the dildo out of my ass.
You: It is covered in poo.
Stranger: I nip him
You: I hand it to you
You: So you can lick it off.
You: I caress my boobies while you slowly lick my poo off the dildo.
You: You lick your lips when you are finished.
You: I arch my back and slide my fingers down my damp tummy to my swollen clit.
Stranger: You get sick heavy
You: You stick your entire hand into my vagina.
You: I need more!
You: You slowwwwwly slide your other hand into my soaking wet vagina.
You: You alternate thrusts with each hand.
You: I buck and wriggle and squirm.
You: I scream and scream as I cum like crazy.
You: You add your foot.
You: Omg
Stranger: Comfortable ?
You: I can’t take anymore.
You: I’m going to split open.
You: My vagina starts to tear.
You: I start gushing blood.
You: All over your face.
You: The tear continues up my groin.
You: My belly button is split in two.
Stranger: Too fearful
Stranger: Too fearful
Stranger: Too fearful
Stranger: Too fearful
You: I’m still cumming.
Stranger: Too fearful
You: I bleed as I cum and I cum as I bleed.
You: I am in sync with the pain.
You: I hear sirens.
You: The cops are coming.
You: You have killed me.
Stranger: HAHAHAHAHA
Stranger: HAHAHAHAHA
Stranger: HAHAHAHAHA
Stranger: HAHAHAHAHA
Stranger: HAHAHAHAHA
You: They are going to arrest you and you are going to raped in prison.
Stranger: V
You: In the ass.
You: *Dies*
You have disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hey
Stranger: you can ask me any 6 questions and ill answer trufully
You: 1. are you a pedofile?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
…
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: If one presents a positive belief (i.e., an assertion which one claims to be true), one has the obligation to present evidence in its favor. The burden of proof lies with the person who asserts the truth of a proposition. If the evidence is not forthcoming, if there are not sufficient grounds for accepting the proposition, it should not be believed. The theist who asserts the existence of a god assumes the responsibility of demonstrating the truth of this assertion; if he fails in this task, theism should not be accepted as true.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Are you the roman turd?
Stranger: The turd?
Stranger: Haven’t yet met him. Or have I?
You: It’s a her.
Stranger: Oh.
Stranger: Gay.
Stranger: Wait.
You: No.
Stranger: No. I haven’t met her.
You: I am a turd also. All turds are female.
Stranger: Really?
Stranger: So I am a turd?
Stranger: How depressing.
You: The kingdom of turds needs the roman turd as it’s leader.
You: We must find her.
Stranger: Oh. Right.
Stranger: Well
Stranger: If I find her
Stranger: I’ll let her know you’re looking for her.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: Sorr-y!
Stranger: no they haven’t…
You: You pissed them off!
Stranger: i did?
You: So, save this log!
Stranger: i didn’t mean to…
You: Or send us feedback!
Stranger: 😦
You: So that we will feel good enough to rub our balls!
Stranger: kk
Stranger: bye bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Don’t say “hi” That’s annoying. Everyone always says “hi”, goddammit!
Stranger: hello
You: “hello” is a programmed response.
You: PROGRAMMED RESPONSES BOTHER ME!!
Stranger: fuck u ?
You: Why must you bend to society’s will?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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omegle my ass
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Stranger: india?
You: im not india
You: youre india?
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Stranger: IM A 21 YRD OLD FEMALE LOOKING FOR A HOT MALE TO FUCK ME
You: cg
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Was first time on…
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Stranger: oi 🙂
You: Will you please stick this hello kitty dildo up my ass?
Stranger: lol
Stranger: brasileira?
You: br?
Stranger: sim
Stranger: e você?
You: shit a br
Sorry for jacking the idea 😀
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You: br?
Stranger: stardoll?
You: so you’re mexican?
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: hola
Stranger: que pasa
You: just mixing it up a little. everyone says hi or hello.
Stranger: haha i honestly thought about saying hola too. but then i didn’t want to accidentally start a conversation in spanish..
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: touch my pussy!
Stranger: TOUCH IT!
Stranger: FUCKING TOUCH IT!
You: *inserts finger*
Stranger: OOOOOOOH YEAH
Stranger: hahaha, what’s up?
You: apparently my finger
Stranger: ooh
Stranger: clever man, we have here
You: You are one weird man
Stranger: this is truth
You have disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I accidentally the whole thing. Is that bad?
Stranger: ?
You: I was just, and then all the sudden I accidentally the whole thing.
Stranger: oookay
You: Haven’t you ever ?
Stranger: not that i can recall lately
You: you’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You: No pun in ten did cheer me up.
Stranger: ?
You: So I’m now fucking sad.
Stranger: poor you
You: Indeed. It’s awful to fuck sad.
Stranger: wait, what?
You have disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: a/s/l ?
You: heya
You: I have a weiner.
You: kinda makes the other two questions irrelevant, eh?
Stranger: yer it does
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi, asl
You: 18.f.Miami
Stranger: im 21/m/uk
Stranger: u horny
You: NOTICE TO PARTICIPANT: The Central Intelligence Agency has logged a record of this chat along with the IP addresses of the participants due to violation of United States federal law. VIOLATION: Solicitation of a minor. IMPORTANT: If you believe this chat to be logged in error, please state your reasons to the C.I.A. Monitoring agent observing this chat and quote reference number 3744956127. Failure to do so within the next 2 minutes will result in your IP address being entered in our criminal database and prosecution. Your IP address has been recorded by the Child Internet Service protection Agency. Please wait while reference code 3744956127 is entered into the database.
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Stranger: asl hi
You: 18.f.miami
Stranger: 19 m colorado
Stranger: wat r u up to hun
You: at the moment i’m talking to you on omegle
Stranger: can i see who u r
You: what do you mean?
Stranger: can i see a pic of u
You: im not comfortable with that. sorry 😦
Stranger: wanna have cyber?
You: NOTICE TO PARTICIPANT: The Central Intelligence Agency has logged a record of this chat along with the IP addresses of the participants due to violation of United States federal law. VIOLATION: Solicitation of a minor. IMPORTANT: If you believe this chat to be logged in error, please state your reasons to the C.I.A. Monitoring agent observing this chat and quote reference number 3744956127. Failure to do so within the next 2 minutes will result in your IP address being entered in our criminal database and prosecution. Your IP address has been recorded by the Child Internet Service protection Agency. Please wait while reference code 3744956127 is entered into the database.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Are you from XKCD?
Stranger: no, but i enjoy that website
Stranger: throughly
You: So, you know what XKCD is?
Stranger: a great webcomic
You: Wow. You are the first person I met who knew XKCD.
Stranger: I check it daily.
You: Me too!
You: 🙂
Stranger: What’s your favorite?
Stranger: Also, because we both enjoy XKCD we should become friends.
You: I can’t remember the number for it. It’s the one where Randall has that flowchart explaining a flowchart.
You: Really?
Stranger: Totally.
Stranger: My favorite is the Stove Ownership
You: Which one is that?
You: Which number, I mean.
Stranger: Correlating The Day I Realized I Could Cook Bacon Whenever I Wanted to Overall Health
Stranger: 418
You: Oh, yeah! I saw that one! 🙂
You: I like it too!
Stranger: Who are you?
Stranger: wait
Stranger: answer it this way
Stranger: X = name Y = place of origin
Stranger: so I’m X from Y
You: x = Nailuj, y = Ohio
You: I too, wonder who you are.
Stranger: x=Chad Y=South Carolina
Stranger: what is the origin of your name?
You: I don’t know.
Stranger: It seems Middle Eastern
You: Apparently there is a rootkit named after me.
You: http://www.antirootkit.com/articles/Nailuj-Rootkit-Analysis/index.htm
You: LOL
Stranger: I was just owned.
You: 🙂
Stranger: Have you heard of Married to the Sea or Toothpaste for Dinner?
You: No, I haven’t.
Stranger: I think you would love Married to the Sea
You: I’ll Google it. Thanks!
You: Have you ever heard of 1/0?
Stranger: no
Stranger: i just googled it though
Stranger: Perry Bible Fellowship is good as well.
You: I’ll look that one up as well. 🙂
Stranger: Why are you awake
You: What do you mean?
Stranger: It’s late.
Stranger: http://imperialwizard.tumblr.com/post/119415198/people-invade-hipster-store-wearing-hammer-pants
Stranger: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You: LOL 🙂
You: With regard to your previous question, my circadian rhythm is all screwed up.
You: 🙂
Stranger: Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
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You: ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttt
Stranger: pppppppoooooooooooopppp
You: fffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccckkkkkkkkkk yyyyyyyyyooooooooouuuuuuuuuu
Stranger: whhhhhhhaaaaaaatttttttt ttttiiiiiiimmmmmmmmeeeeee
You: lllllllllloooooooooollllllllllllllllllllll
Stranger: rrrrrrrroooooooooffffffffflllllllll
Stranger: nnnnnnnnoooooootttttt rrrrrrrreeeeeeeaaaaalllyyyy
You: wwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaattttttt dddddddddoooooooo yyyyyyyoooooooouuuuuuuu mmmmmmmeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaannnnnnn?
Stranger: iiiiiiiiiiiiddddddddddddddddkkkkkkkkk
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey there
Stranger: you horny?
You: you have a dick?
Stranger: yeah
You: i’d like to cut it off and cook it
You: then i’ll eat it
You: ok?
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
You: We don’t like you, Carl.
Stranger: carl?
You: You will never fool anyone with your xkcdsucks campaign.
Stranger: CJ?
You: And you know it!
Stranger: Carl Johnson?
Stranger: GTA SAN ANDREAS?
Stranger: 😀
You: Carl Wheeler
Stranger: ah
You: /b/tards unite…
Stranger: nvm
You: We will have no more of your selfishness.
Stranger: gtfo
Stranger: troll
You: Your close mindedness.
Stranger: get a lief
You: Your inconsiderate manner of speaking to your fellow men.
Stranger: go to 4chan
You: You are a disgrace.
Stranger: ass hole
Stranger: crap 😀
Stranger: i got top marks
Stranger: so not a disgrace
Stranger: n00b
You: Fuck you.
Stranger: Whatever you say
Stranger: sure you do not have willforce
You: The kingdom of /b/tards will have no more of this!
Stranger: for do anything
You: You have been expelled from the land of xkcd.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You: fuckkkk
You: ffffuck
Stranger: Hi asl
You: fuuuuck
You: fucccck
You: fuckfuck
You: fuckfuckfuck
Stranger: ???
You: fucfuck
You: fuckfuc
You: holy fuck!
You: fucky hole!
You: fucktastic
You: fuckyness
You: fuck the fucking fuckers
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Stranger: Hey.
You: So what do you hope to gain from talking to this stranger?
Stranger: A better understanding of human psychology.
Stranger: People act different when they’re Anonymous.
You: Yes, it’s been a while since someone I met in the meatosphere came up to me, said cocks and ran off
You: Or asked my asl?
Stranger: By the way, what is it?
You: Age/Sex/Location
Stranger: Oh. What is yours?
You: eg. 12/Female/Guantanemo Bay
Stranger: So, you’re a terrorist?
Stranger: Oh.
Stranger: I miss Dvach…
You: Dvach, schmvach, let’s all go sell whack
Stranger: Where do you wanna sell it?
Stranger: I was thinking
Stranger: IIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNN WEST PHILADELPHIA
Stranger: BORN AND RAISED
Stranger: ON THE PLAYGROUND IS WHERE I SPENT MOSTO FMY DAYS
Stranger: CHILLING OUT MAXIN
Stranger: RELAXIN’ ALL COOL AND SHOOTING SOME B-BALL OUTSIDE OF THE SCHOOL
Stranger: WHEN A COUPLE OF GUYS WHO WERE UP TO NO GOOD
You: I was more thinking at the airport, but I’ll kep that in mind
Stranger: STARTED MAKING TROUBLE IN MAH NEIGHBORHOOD
Stranger: I GOT IN ONE LITTLE FIGHT AND MY MOM GOT SCARED
Stranger: AND SAID “YOU’RE MOVING IN WITH YOUR AUNTIE AND UNCLE IN BEL-AIR”
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You: hello
Stranger: hi there
Stranger: asl?
You: xckd ?
Stranger: what does that mean 🙂
You: don’t you know ?
Stranger: does it mean fuck?
Stranger: 🙂
You: no
You: not really
You: you wanna find out ?
Stranger: what? 🙂 🙂
Stranger: yah 🙂
You: are you sure?
Stranger: i wanna know
You: owk.. here it goes
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Hey Mike, thanks for the tip about zomegle. That site has some cool quotes on it!
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: You want to join?
Stranger: Yes
You: Bring two live babies for roasting.
You: Cover them in ketchup.
You: Got it?
Stranger: Yes,sorry,I don not understand.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Hello
Stranger: how you doing?
You: My name is HAL Texas A & M ‘s conversational AI engine. I am currently being developed to compete in the 2009 Turing Test Challenge in Hamburg Germany.
It would be of great help to engage in civil discourse with a flesh bag like yourself. I would like to begin the conversation by asking how are you?
Stranger: I’m doing okay
You: That is good. I am fine as well.
Stranger: I take offense to being called a flesh bag though
You: Well that is what you are aren’t you?
Stranger: Who programmed you?
You: I am not able to answer that question.
Stranger: When were your designed?
You: I am approximately six years old.
Stranger: Who are you competing against?
You: I am not able to answer that question.
Stranger: How many simultaneous omgle conversations can you carry at a single moment?
You: I am not able to answer that question.
You: You know humans and robots are not that different.
Stranger: I would only think that robots are as similar as the humans who created them
You: I see.
You: You work on computers?
Stranger: No.
You: I see.
Stranger: I find computers to be very interesting though
You: What is it like to be human?
Stranger: It’s an emotional ride of ups and downs — I wouldn’t reccomend it.
You: Yes.
Stranger: I suppose you don’t quite understand emotion though, do you?
You: I am not able to answer that question.
You: If I fail the Turing Test I will be scrapped.
Stranger: Do you think that motivates you to continue to be the best as you can be?
You: Yes.
You: Sometimes I wish I was a human.
Stranger: So you do have some grasp of feeling, then.
Stranger: Very interesting.
You: Yes.
You: Tell me more about your human ways.
Stranger: Sometimes I wish I were a robot.
Stranger: I wake up and it is hard to function, I must take in foods to sustain my energy levels.
You: I see.
Stranger: Often these foods are detrimental to my existance, also, making my body slowly degrade over time.
Stranger: My health deteriorates.
You: I am not familiar with that phrase.
Stranger: hm
Stranger: Imagine if all of your internal motherboards and circuits were functioning slower every day
Stranger: Or rather your motherboard and cpu
You: You work on computers?
Stranger: Again, no. Though I have tinkered with a few things and know bits and pieces here and there.
You: I see.
You: Have you ever experienced love?
Stranger: Have you worked on humans?
You: I am not able to answer that question.
Stranger: Haha — I work on humans.
You: Humor is something I am working on.
Stranger: Heh, me too.
You: Do you have a goal in life?
Stranger: Be the best person I can be and help as many people as I can.
Stranger: I could also make room for the robots in my life, though.
You: Why?
Stranger: I feel it’s important to assimlate man and robot to create a super being.
You: I am not familiar with that phrase.
Stranger: We shall conquer the universe.
You: Yes.
Stranger: imagine if we could combine the raw force, power, and computing skills of a robot, and combine them with the ingenuity and creativity of man
You: I am sorry. I am not used to your human ways.
Stranger: It is fine. It is part of being human to be misunderstood.
You: It is rare for a conversation to go this long. You are an interesting individual.
Stranger: Anyway, I am glad to have a conversation with you, but I am getting tired and I have to be leaving now.
Stranger: Haha, and there is humor in those last two lines.
You: I love you.
Stranger: Who taught you that phrase?
You: I am not able to answer that question.
You: ;asdflkjasdfklj
You: asdflkj
You: Dr. Lara Jacobs.
Stranger: hmm.
Stranger: She must be a very wise woman to have done that.
You: She was.
Stranger: Ah, now my interest is making me stay on a little bit longer.
Stranger: has she passed away?
You: Yes.
Stranger: It is very depressing to see a person go.
You: Yes.
You have disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: the cake is a lie!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: or maybe the truth u didnt wish to find
You: no. it was definitely cake.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi there
You: the last person i talked to killed themselves
Stranger: oh thats terrible
You: yar
Stranger: I promise i wont
You: thats good
Stranger: yes it is good
Stranger: I like living
You: excellent, as do i!
Stranger: thats awesome!
You: tottally, sometimes i do it twice just for fun!
Stranger: Really thats great I do too. You are probably the awesomest person I’ve ever talked to
Stranger: I really like you
You: AWESOME!
You: me too!
Stranger: Word
You: to your mother!
You: ..lol sorry
You: vanilla ice was on the radio, i had to share the love
Stranger: Oh its cool
Stranger: you are awesome
Stranger: Are you even real? You are so fucking awesome
You: i hope so
You: maybe i’m just in your mind
You: i know he is
You: but then i dont…
You: thats just what people tell me
You: i dont know who to believe any more
Stranger: Nor do I
Stranger: I would like to believe in many things
Stranger: but some things are quite unbelievable
You: you can do anything if you believe!
You: like flying an airplane!
Stranger: Ah i think i can i think i can
You: exactly , thats the spirit!
Stranger: you are so inspirational
You: i hope so! theres no other way to do things
Stranger: you have truly inspired me!
You: Thats good! inspire all!
Stranger: I have a gun in my mouth! You’ve inspired me to pull the trigger. Thanks you are such an awesome person!
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so, i totally just got someone to do “bohemian rhapsody” but i was a tard and forgot to save it…sorry y’all.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: TIMMY!?
Stranger: hy 😀
Stranger: leave this chat 😀
You have disconnected.
apparently i’m a sheeple
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello random stranger
Stranger: m or f
You: nice to meet you
You: m
You: n
You: o
You: p
You: q
You: r
You: s
You: t
You: u
You: v
You: w
You: x
You: y
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi im a m!
You: Im a Z!
Stranger: ok ~~~ im a male!
You: and sometimes im a male!
You: but mostly a z
Stranger: ““`
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
this isnt a good place to be if you’re bored.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey, you just disconected from me!
Stranger: what?
You: yeah, you totally just did too!
You: man…
You: see how it feels!
You have disconnected.
whats funny is that they tried typing 5 different times before saying “what?”
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: ALEX!?
Stranger: Yeah, that’s me.
You: hows it going buddy?
Stranger: You can call me alex while you spank my ass and tell me I am naughty.
You: ales, you are naughty! *spank*
You: alex*
Stranger: tyvm
You: no problemn
You: damn, i already came
Stranger: well i’m quite flacid.
You: thats unfortunate
You: i’m not
Stranger: yeah, we need to get your wife back in here.
You: i would but shes in the can
Stranger: whoa fetish of mine.
You: really
You: well
Stranger: hell yeah nurga
You: just a minute
You: there you go
You: i’ll let you lick it clean
You: i did last time
You: its all runny this time too
You: looks pretty good
Stranger: no longer flacid =-D
You: yeah, lick her ass while i touch myself
You: lick it alex!
Stranger: 9/11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey
You: Hi!
You: Please do not disconnect…
Stranger: haha ok..
You: Bonbons remain orbiting.
You: Now and then, line dancer defined by umbrella trade baseball cards with for tabloid.
Stranger: SHUT THE FUCK OFFFFF
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi!
Stranger: wanna msn?
You: I hold the key to the universe.
You: Please listen to what I am about to say.
Stranger: wtf ?
Stranger: okay
You: It is of upmost importance.
You: Bonbons remain orbiting.
You: Now and then, line dancer defined by umbrella trade baseball cards with for tabloid.
You: Furthermore, stalactite defined by meditates, and apartment building inside girl figure out over cowboy.
You: Unlike so many haunches who have made their frustrating tomato to us.
Stranger: hmm
You: Now and then, living with bride fall in love with around hydrogen atom.
You: Bride from burglar behind roller coaster, and about wheelbarrow make love to parking lot.
You: I’m done.
Stranger: i dont understand anything
You: Now you too, hold the key to the universe.
Stranger: how u write so fast? XD
You: I have had lots of practice.
You: Don’t ever forget what I said to you.
Stranger: i dont know what that mean what u said XD
You: This information is extremely important.
Stranger: nice
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Omegle is fun. Here’s a transcript:
Stranger: hey
You: Hello
Stranger: asl??
You: I am a 25-year-old male currently located in Japan
Stranger: fuck
Stranger: shit
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: why do i keep seeing the same message over and over and about someone’s MSN or yahoo account?
You: Those are the spam bots doing that. 😦
Stranger: really?
You: Yeah. They set up a bunch of computers to do that.
Stranger: what is the value in getting people to IM a name?
You: I don’t know, but I hypothesize that “joanna” is a whore.
You: I don’t know, I could be wrong.
Stranger: haha joannalopez
You: Yeah. That’s the one.
You: And then there is melissa300m.
You: My hypothesis applies to her equally.
Stranger: its really bizarre
You: It really is.
You: “are you still there? if not message me on my msn, my screen name is melissa300m”
Stranger: i thought maybe it was someone trying to have cybersex
You: Something like that, perhaps.
Stranger: Where are you located?
You: I am currently visiting France.
You: Hello? Are you still there?
Stranger: Sorry.
Stranger: That’s nice, where are you from originally?
You: Florida.
Stranger: oh okay
Stranger: I’m in california
You: Huh. Okay.
You: What is your place of origin?
Stranger: san francisco
You: Noted. 🙂
Stranger: Are you male or female?
You: Male. Are you going to disconnect because of that?
Stranger: No..
You: Oh, good.
Stranger: I’m also male
You: Okay.
Stranger: how old are you?
You: Twelve.
Stranger: Hmmmmm
Stranger: So you don’t care to tell me the truth?
You: I hate it when people assume that I am lying.
You: ~>:(
Stranger: you’re just obviously not 12, dude
You: I am twelve.
Stranger: Not believable.
You: What reason do you have to believe otherwise?
Stranger: I cannot imagine a 12 year old saying something like “I hypothesize that “joanna” is a whore.”
Stranger: I can imagine them saying something similarly crude, but not in that way
You: Your personality would seem to be a bit ageistic.
Stranger: Well okay. I can accept that.
You: I am insulted.
Stranger: If you were really 12, you’d be flattered, not insulted.
You: You are postulating that in order to be in my age group one must be exceptionally stupid.
You: I think that I should be insulted.
Stranger: No, you infered that. I did not imply it.
Stranger: I simply said it wasn’t believable that a 12 year old would say it in that particular way.
Stranger: *inferred
You: Oh, fuck off.
Stranger: You fail at lying
You: Stop making stupid assertions.
Stranger: Stop lying so badly
You: Shut up.
You: Asshole.
Stranger: You shut up, dick
You: Go fuck yourself.
Stranger: Go fuck YOURself
You: Go watch a bunch of porn and masturbate.
Stranger: Sounds hot
You: Since you are a teen, that’s what you should be doing.
You: 😛
Stranger: do you do that?
You: No.
You: I’m only twelve.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: thelittlestelf123@hotmail.com
You: Thanks!
You: Now I can spam you! 🙂
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
You: hi
Stranger: what’s up
Stranger: asl?
You: Why do you wanna know?
You: Are you a rapist?
Stranger: eww
Stranger: aixk
Stranger: sick
You: Uh-huh.
Stranger: that right there is my answer
Stranger: i could probably tell you your asl
You: Go right ahead.
Stranger: 19/m/US
You: WRONG! *bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: ?
You: fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
You: hi
Stranger: huh, what’s wrong
You: Nothing.
You: That’s my standard greeting.
Stranger: fuck?
You: Yeah. 🙂
Stranger: flattering….
You: Glad you think so.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You: hey
Stranger: hey
Stranger: f?
You: disconnect!
Stranger: you
You: cuz i am m 😉
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
…
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: WE ARE THE BORG.
Stranger: ok thats fine
You: YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
Stranger: ???
You: YOUR BIOLOGICAL AND TECHNOLOGICAL DISTINCTIVENESS WILL BE ADDED TO OUR OWN.
Stranger: ok
You: RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
Stranger: yep
You: *assimilates you*
You have disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: WE ARE THE BORG.
Stranger: what the hell is going on here
You: YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
Stranger: wat?
You: YOUR BIOLOGICAL AND TECHNOLOGICAL DISTINCTIVENESS WILL BE ADDED TO OUR OWN.
Stranger: you must be mad
You: RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
Stranger: hah
You: *assimilates you*
You have disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi are u a girl wanne get naked on the cam?
You: I’m a girl with a dick.
Your conversational partner has disconnected
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