Since last night I’ve been obsessively connecting to Omegle.
It’s a simple site that just connects you to a random person, anonymously, for a conversation.
It feels like that scene in Fight Club where the narrator sits down next to Tyler on the plane. Two strangers meeting, laying out their personality and sizing each other up in just a few words, with no expectations, and — thanks to anonymity — no consequences.
Except in this case, a lot of the time Tyler just screams “COCKS”, punches the narrator, and jumps out of the window.
Still, it’s fun!
xkcd 
Oh crap. Sorry sorry sorry! Could you delete my old post? I just realized he actually gave me an email address, and I’m not an asshole. Please, please, please delete it and moderate this one instead.
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: h?
You: Howdy.
Stranger: where are you from
You: Canada.
Stranger: good
Stranger: I am in Turkey
You: Oooh, exotic.
Stranger: how old are you
You: 18.
Stranger: ? am 23
Stranger: male / female
You: Tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine 😉
Stranger: male
Stranger: u?
You: Female.
Stranger: well ? want to know you speak french
You: Un peu 😉
You: That means “A little”,.
Stranger: =)
Stranger: je sais
You: A,h verite?
Stranger: oui mais un peu =) commet tu t’appelles?
You: Je m’appelle Rebecaa.
You: Rebecca*
Stranger: enchanté je suis Erhan
You: Enchante Erhan.
Stranger: i study french language and literature
You: Oooh.
Stranger: so i need exercise with someone
You: That sounds dirty. Exercising your tongue with a girl. 😉
Stranger: =)
Stranger: no
Stranger: how many languages do you know?
You: English, French, a bit of Spanish. Not too much though.
Stranger: ? see what do you like?
You: English and French. I don’t really have a reason to know Spanish.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: what do u do?
You: College student! I want to be a Edu major/Lit minor so I can teach English classes.
Stranger: wow that’s good
You: *nods* Too many teachers in my family, but it runs in my blood sooo….
Stranger: =) teacher family
You: :3
Stranger: 3 ? grandfather – father and me 😀
You: Oh, that was an emote. “:3” Cat-face! But Mom, Dad, my brother, Grandpa and Grandma are all teachers. Chem, physics, gym, Lit and Home Ec, in order.
You: We make fun of my brother 🙂
You: “LOL GYM TEACHER LOL”.
Stranger: ahahah 😀
Stranger: bye the way do you like travel? or have u ever been in abroad?
You: I went to England once, America a few times. London’s an awesome city.
Stranger: yeah I did’t go there but ? know
Stranger: what do you think about Turkey?
You: IDK much, mostly info from classes on world culture and Roman history.
You: That and it’s Istanbul, Not Constantinople.
You: =)
Stranger: woow yeah it’s true
Stranger: ?stanbul
Stranger: i live in Istanbul
You: Oooh.
Stranger: do you have msn adress?
You: No, I wish I did. I have restricted internet access due to my current situation.
Stranger: ooo ok
Stranger: can i send a letter to you in french?
You: Oh, sure! I might be a bit distracted, talking to the guy in the next room.
You: Just because he’s a cop and using my TV doesn’t mean he has to crank rap music videos T.T
Stranger: so?
You: Well….I can’t get too pissy with him or he’ll call his buddies and I’m already kind of screwed.
Stranger: ok
You: House arrest suuuuuck ;.;
Stranger: =)
Stranger: hey do you like sex?
You: Well…yeah. Under house monitoring for statuatory rape.
You: I raped him.
Stranger: woow
Stranger: rape me 😀
You: ….you want me to tie you to a bed, put on my footlong strap-on and go to town on you?
Stranger: no
You: Fair enough. I don’t need another sentence.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: but
Stranger: can i see you
You: …..see me?
Stranger: yeah
You: A photo of me?
Stranger: yeajh or web cam last technology =)
You: Well…..
You: Does this work?
You: http://tinyurl.com/cprqyk
Stranger: hey she is you ? ?f it’s so you r beauty =)
You: *blushes* Well, thanks.
Stranger: how do i connect with you?
You: You can’t T_T If I plugged in anything that’s not a mouse or keyboard, they’ll get suspicious and disconnect me.
Stranger: ahahah 😛
Stranger: hey ? am sure we can be frirends but good friends
Stranger: how about you ?
Stranger: so give me a chance
You: I’d like that!
Stranger: so we do it, ?
You: It? What, sex?
Stranger: no sex. be friends
You: Oh! Sure!
Stranger: yes just i want to know how ? connect to you again.
You: Of course! Hold on, I’ll give you an email address, ‘kay?
Stranger: EMAIL CENSORED
You: WRYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
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You: See you around!
You have disconnected.
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Ok so i was trying out some chat up lines, and BANG pure genious
You: 8:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::D
You: sorry i get my penis out when nobody says anything for a while
You: i cant stand silence
You: ive put it away now, but i understand if it scared you away
Stranger: well
Stranger: i was just reading what you typed
Stranger: and i needed to laugh
You: well aslong as we keep talking i think ill be able to keep george locked up
Stranger: george?
Stranger: omg you really give your penis a name
You: yeah i called him george, after the last 8 years i thought it was fitting
Stranger: hmm
You: he keeps trying to get me to go into dangerous placed for no good reason
Stranger: and where’s george from?
Stranger: hmm omegle is a dangerous place indeed
Stranger: you better watch out
You: my crotch obviously, where is your penis from
Stranger: wel
Stranger: l
Stranger: i don’t have one
Stranger: because i’m female
You: you mean your a …..G I R L on the internet :O
You: i find that hard to belive
Stranger: yes i am
Stranger: why?
Stranger: i heard about omegle from a friend
Stranger: so i thought check it out
You: because thats what this man said, then i ended up with a very sore bottom when i went to meet “her”
Stranger: hahah lol
Stranger: no no no
You: well ill play along and pretend i believe your a girl if you want.
Stranger: omg i am
Stranger: haha
You: but you have to admit that that is exactly what somebody trying to trick me would say
Stranger: yes i admit that
Stranger: but really, i’m a girl
Stranger: Netherlands, 21
You: well IF you are a girl (and im not saying you are) what are you doing on the internet, its a dangerous place
–===—
long interesting conversations with a hottie from the Netherlands
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i think it’s probably a great idea to start any conversation with the profound question:
u read xkcd?
just to make sure both chatters are really going to have fun *lol*
i like it very much and hope to meet some interesting people on omegle. and i really hope the pervs just stay out of there!
thx for the recommendation!!!1!one
greetings from germany to everyone ^^
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Just had an odd convo with someone on there. He/she was either insane, high, or just kidding.
You: hello
Stranger: hey there
You: how’s it going
Stranger: fine, how r u?
You: tired but good
Stranger: where are you from?
You: the usa
You: you?
Stranger: from greece, liar
You: eh?
Stranger: i am from greece, and you are a liar
You: by saying that I am from the usa?
Stranger: yup
You: hmm
Stranger: right
You: do you have any evidence that proves I’m from elsewhere?
Stranger: yeah, you are from europe
You: where’s your proof?
Stranger: why is the logical thinking for?
Stranger: just admit it
You: I will not, because it is not the truth
You: the truth is, I live in the united states
Stranger: ok then
Stranger: you have migrated from europe in the past 10 years
You: nope, I was born here
Stranger: liar
You: your deductions are flawed in some way
Stranger: and you believe in god
Stranger: surely
You: because I’ve never even been outside of the north american continent
Stranger: you smell european however
You: hmm I have european ancestors
Stranger: and they are asian oriented but that doesn’t matter
Stranger: i know things, god tells me
Stranger: believe in god
Stranger: he tells the truth
Stranger: you should stop being an american and move to belgium
Stranger: your tiredness will be gone then
Stranger: in a few years, you are free to move to central asian
Stranger: gotta feed my pegasus
Stranger: farewell european chinese
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: Do you like to fly kites?
Stranger: yes
You: cool
You: are you Randall Munroe?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Yesterday I spent some hours connecting to Omegle and starting every conversation with the line “Do you like to fly kites?”. I even draw a flowchart of every possible course the conversation could take afterwards…
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: I AM A LION
You: hello
You: really?
Stranger: RAWR
You: what kind of lion?
You: a small lion?
You: a terrifying lion?
Stranger: THE KIND THAT EATS NIGGERS
You: really?
You: don’t they taste funny?
Stranger: They taste good with a little spice.
Stranger: Otherwise, nasty as hell.
You: ay, but
Stranger: You gotta cook ’em.
You: sandworm shit is hard to come by
Stranger: Really?
Stranger: In Africa, it’s common as shit.
Stranger: Or niggers.
You: nah
You: sandworms only live in the desert of arrakis
You: the freeman get the spice though
You: they get addicted real fast
Stranger: I see.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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In the course of 30 minutes I talked about plastic triceratops, consensual incest, the meaning of life, and Greek mythology!
Also, I told someone on Omegle I would troll a website, but I can’t bring myself to do it 😦
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: im riding a dragon on my laptop
Stranger: what game are you playing
You: it’s hard to get wifi up here
You: i think you’re getting the wrong idea….
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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IMAGE IS NSFW.
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I just chatted somebody.
Stranger: I would like to find a boy through the video chat.I’m gay
You: I think I chatted with you before…
You: I made you lose the game.
You: Remember me?
Stranger: yes
You: Lawl.
You: Oh.
You: I have the perfect thing for you.
You: http://img242.imageshack.us/img242/4229/meeeejhc.jpg‘
Stranger: I can’t see it
You: That’s definitely a good thing.
Stranger: oh
You: Um…
You: so…
Stranger: bye?
You: Bye.
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Bitch or bro?
You: Niether.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: is ur name aine?
You: yes.
You: aine smith
Stranger: where r u from
You: I went to india last year.
You: OH MY GOD.
Stranger: ok
You: ARE YOU SHELBY?
You: THE PERSON I MET IN INDIA
Stranger: no
You: I ALWAYS KNEW WE’D MEET AGAIN
Stranger: im tyan
You: I LOVE YOU SHELBY
You: ❤
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: m or f
You: g
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: there are ants in my pants
Stranger: i hope they don’t eat your cock
You: me too man
You: it will take a while since its so huge
Stranger: or start to climb into ypur piss hole
You: woa
Stranger: i’m sure
You: never thought of that
Stranger: lol
You: im so scared now
Stranger: take a shower
You: they’re water resistant
Stranger: ok
You: i live in an ant hole
Stranger: sure
You: there are millions of ants swarming me
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: i can fly
Stranger: i can swim
Stranger: you win
You: lame
Stranger: douchebag
Stranger: what the fuck you doing plane
Stranger: ur a plane?
Stranger: i know
You: Flying into ur house
You: look out the window
You: see me?
Stranger: yer
Stranger: ur hot as
Stranger: are you the fly?
You: im as hot as the inferno that will soon be your house
Stranger: u do this to freak ppl out yer?
You: yeah man
Stranger: pretty smart but it dont work
You: OH NO
Stranger: on me anyways
Stranger: hahahaha
You: you so smart
Stranger: lmfao fuck you
You: i bet you go to harvard
Stranger: brown actually like poo
You: screw you
Stranger: love you too
Stranger: wanna get hard or high
You: high
You: im a plane remember?
Stranger: true
Stranger: hahaha
You: ill take you for a ride
You: nigga
Stranger: take me soooooo high
Stranger: im gonna ride you high and hard
You: im gonna throw you out the door when we get above 10000 ft
Stranger: HAHAHHHAHAA
Stranger: ur a scary one bro
Stranger: listen to eminem
You: i hate that jank
Stranger: hes kooler than you
Stranger: fuck you
Stranger: go freak out saomeone else
Stranger: good luck
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Wow, amazing site….
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: HELLO
You: HI
Stranger: I AM GREAT GUY
Stranger: MY LOVE GREAT
Stranger: I LOVE CARE
You: YOU HAVE THE CAPSLOCK KEY ON
Stranger: I AM GOOD GUY
Stranger: U PRETY FACE
You: YOU WERE GREAT JUST MOMENTS AGO
Stranger: ?
You: YEAH
You: I HAVE PRETTY FACE
You: ALL THE GIRLS SAY SO
Stranger: lol.who’s this?
You: a dude.
You: you’re failing.
Stranger: haha,okay,later MR
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You: never gonna give you up
Stranger: DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
You: never gonna let you down
You: never gonna run around and hurt you
Stranger: never gonna make you cry
Stranger: never gonna SAY goodbye
You: never gonna tell a lie
You: and hurt you
Stranger: well i guess it would be nice…if i could touch your body
You: hey those aren’t the lyrics!
Stranger: i know…i forgot the rest
Stranger: so i started a different song
Stranger: 😦
You: i dont know if i know that song
Stranger: faith
Stranger: by george michael
You: yeah, dont know it
Stranger: aww
Stranger: well i tried
You: thats what counts
You: and that i rick rolled someone on omegle
Stranger: well technically it was a joint rick roll
Stranger: we both participated
You: true
You: and then my roommate read it and she was rick rolled too
Stranger: it’s a massacre…
You: OMG!
Stranger: hide the rick roll!
You: hide hide!
Stranger: we can’t let anyone else be hurt by this!
You: *runs away*
Stranger: *puts the rick roll in the shredder*
You: *ducks for cover*
You: *loud explosion occurrs*
Stranger: whoa what was that?!
You: i decided to add a pipe bomb to the shredder
You: just in case
You: i think we’re safe now
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: *unsheaths bastard sword*
You: Let’s fight!
Stranger: no the children are playing
You: but little timmy has already asked me why mommy daddy fight all the time..
Stranger: little timmy had surgery and died im so sorry
You: and susan?>
Stranger: susan well she is fine but nobody likes the fat bitch whats a shame cas she is so nice
You: she’s fat, I can’t blame them for being judgemental.. I’m always gone, and you raised them..
Stranger: don’t balme this on me you bastard
You: I was trying to make the money to keep bread on the table dammit..
You: would you have rather been together and starved to death?
Stranger: starve to death tbh
You: good, I think you could use a little “starvation”
You: ever since you’ve had that third child you’ve let yourself go..
Stranger: I would keep in shape if I worried about you getting action else where but look at you that not gunna happen now is it
You: I can’t help it that I’ve got a scar over my left eye..
You: that disfigures my face..
Stranger: the scar isn’t a problem and your personality or lack off doesn’t hep things much
You: how about you go and hire yourself out to the mercenary army..
You: Personality?
You: It’s called steel and guts..
Stranger: I don’t hire myself out I don’t want to catch some STD’s I no your stories
Stranger: and plenty of guts
You: If you’d seen the things I did..
You: then you’d understand why I’ve got this beer gut.
Stranger: beer gut you look like octo mum before she popped the bastards out
You: It’s easier to drink and forget for a time than constantly remember the atrocities of war.
You: oh yea?
You: I think your ass has it’s own orbit..
You: and you aren’t hiding cottage cheese with your thighs are you?
You: I think if you were to hit something the shock waves might kill someone..
You: Exactly, speechless because you know it’s true..
Stranger: atleast when we took the kids to the zoo they didnt mistake me 4 the white rhino
You: yep, they thought you were a beached whale
You: I had to tell them that we weren’t at sea world..
Stranger: I think the pills you been taking to cleen that “rash” is fucking with the small brain of yours
You: well, I wouldn’t have that rash if you hadn’t fucked the neighbor while I was out defending our farmland..
You: I understand I might be a little overweight, but he’s hardly got any meat on his bones..
Stranger: a little lets be serious now when u can’t see your own feet “a little” doesn’t cover it
You: I’ve been gone for 10 months, I don’t know if you’re pregnant, or just that big..
You: as moody as you’ve been since I walked in the door I’d want to say pregnant..
Stranger: if i am pregnant atleast they won’t have your fat genes
You: or my monetary support..
Stranger: you shouldn’t be supporting me you need to support yourself cas your knees are gunna go underneath you with or that weight
You: I guess I’ll go stay at the barracks, try not to let any more kids die like Timmy, hope you and that skinny bastard next door know how to do better. I’m gone
Stranger: and lets be honest when you have bigger tits than most women including ones with inplants you have to tell your self you have a problem
Stranger: you better not come back
You: *Slams door to hovel behind me on my way out*
Stranger: and make sure to drop the soap im sure the boys will love your tits
You: *this knocks off the vase on one of the shelves and it falls and breaks*
Stranger: good riddens for old fat shit
You: *being already gone he doesn’t hear you*
You: *the scene cuts to the children’s bedroom where little susan cowers in her corner*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: *you awake groggy* not knowing where you are, you discover you’re in the dark, what do you do?
Stranger: hhmm
Stranger: i try to feel the place where am i located? 😀
You: you discover a small switch with your hands, what do you do?
Stranger: i do nothing i keep looking
You: *there’s a small voice in the back of your head, what’s the worst that could happen with flipping the switch?*
Stranger: i would knock the bitch behind me lol
You: while continuing to look you discover that you’re in a small room made of stone, no other discernible markings, shapes, bumps or switches..
You: what do you do?
Stranger: hmm
Stranger: do i still hear the voice?
You: no
Stranger: haha
You: *that voice was your inner voice*
Stranger: i try to feel the bottom?
Stranger: oh
Stranger: the floor*
You: there’s nothing in the entire 4′ by 4′ by 4′ cube except for the small switch you found..
Stranger: well
Stranger: i give up and turn up the switch
Stranger: and i prob die? 🙂
You: no, the switch does 2 things..
You: the room begins to have an eerie amber glow appearing as from everywhere and nowhere..
You: and a section of the west wall slides away revealing a stone hallway.
You: what do you do?
Stranger: i go on the hallway
You: the hallway continues for about 30 feet straight ahead, then it turns to the right, you hear a single man, seemingly talking to himself further down the hallway,
You: however, you can’t hear exactly what he’s saying
You: what do you do?
Stranger: do i have anything with my self?
You: You check your inventory to find, a pair of breeches, and a homespun shirt, you see that you are dirty and unkempt..
You: you feel a slight rumbling in your stomach, which is identified as hunger, you must have not eaten for a couple days.
Stranger: well i go to that man
You: “Halt!”
Stranger: the man said that?
You: “what are you doing?” *yes*
Stranger: i dunno im just walking down this hallway
You: You’re not supposed to be out of that room, by orders of the Lord Marshall..
Stranger: and why is that?
You: (he said that sorry for forgetting the quotations) “orders is orders, and I’m down here guarding the likes of you for questioning them”
You: “now get back in your cell or I’ll put you back in”
Stranger: sry no can do
You: *the man lunges at you*
You: *due to some previously unknown skill you grab his wrist, turn about him, and bash him at the base of his neck with your fist, knocking him unconscious”
You: *
You: what do you do next?
Stranger: thats not a good move 😛
Stranger: u should try to bash him in the hand and then while his hand hurts as hell u spine him in the neck 😛
Stranger: i pick his stuff
You: *in a sudden flash you realize that you’re in the dungeon of the Lord Marshall, and he has wrongfully imprisoned you here, you know not what for*
Stranger: keys, guns,.. ect ect
Stranger: and then i move on the hallway
You: the items he is carrying is..
You: Leather Jerkin, Bastard sword, and a small coin purse with a few copper..
You: and a belt for the sword..
Stranger: well i take his clothes
Stranger: and move on
You: *you are now disguised as a guard*
Stranger: fuck yea 😀
Stranger: btw is this somekind of a fantasy story ur writing?
You: *winding your way through the intricate passages of the dungeon you finally find a narrow stairwell ascending*
You: This is no fantasy story, this is just me having fun on omegle..
Stranger: oh
You: I play D&D, my friend does some gaming and etc..
Stranger: oh xD
Stranger: well i move on the stairwell
You: You’re the first person I tried this on, and you bit so yea..
Stranger: well i was doing a game similar to this 2 days ago
You: *You climb through and find yourself at an Ironbound door with a small window opening from the other side*
Stranger: sry im a bit confused at the begining.. xD
You: What game was it?
Stranger: dunno the guy was writing a fantasy story book
You: gotcha..
Stranger: ?
You: that it was just some random guy doing fantasy story..
Stranger: o
Stranger: Stranger: *You climb through and find yourself at an Ironbound door with a small window opening from the other side*
You: *It’s a door to the dungeon so a guard on the other side can keep it locked and not let the wrong people through should there be trouble down in the dungeon.*
Stranger: well since im disguised as a guard
Stranger: i try my luck and call him to open the door
You: “Who goes there?”
Stranger: A guard? guarding the hallway
Stranger: (lol ..)
You: “Allright, just give me a second.”
You: *You hear the bolt slide out and the door opens.”
Stranger: i walk in
You: “Hey, you don’t look like the guy who went down there earlier when I started my shift.”
Stranger: thats becouse uve been drinking that crap u have here
Stranger: its making u crazy
Stranger: i am the guy
Stranger: * i reply* 😛
You: “Hey, you know we ain’t supposed to be drinking on the job..
Stranger: “ha dont lie to me i can see ur red face”
Stranger: “ur a disgrace to the guaring post”
Stranger: “let me pass!”
You: “NO!”
You: *He draws his sword*
Stranger: i quickly draw my sword and cut his head
You: *He blocks your downward strike with his sword*
You: *He attempts to kick at your shin with one of his legs, what do you do?*
Stranger: i try to jump back to unblock my sword
Stranger: and try to hit his leg while he streches it
You: *you nimbly jump back, landing on the percarious steps, and gouge his leg with your sword, it begins to spurt blood*
You: “YOU BASTARD!”
Stranger: quickly before he starts to scream
Stranger: i put his sword before his neck
Stranger: and ask him where am i and where is the way to get out
You: *His face begins to pale*
You: “You’re in the dungeon, Only way out is up.”
You: *He begins to go limp in your arms.*
You: *Life has left his body.*
Stranger: i take his stuff
Stranger: like a shield if he has one
You: *Leaning up against the wall is a small buckler.
You: *There’s also a chair, a desk with a sign in log, and a quill and ink.*
You: *Any of the items on his body are deemed too useless since they’re now soaked in warm, sticky blood.”
You: “What do you do?”
Stranger: i cut his clothes and clean the shiled and take it
Stranger: and i move on
You: *Going down the hallway you notice 2 doors on either side of the hallway.
Stranger: i open both of them
Stranger: and see where they go
You: The door to the left is a small store room, the door to the right has a bucket in the floor used as a latrine for the guards on duty.
Stranger: i check the storage if there is anyting usefull
You: You find a small pouch, some dried jerkey, a water skin, and some berries
Stranger: i eat and drink
Stranger: +then i leave
You: Pouch, jerkey water and berries added to inventory.
You: *The rumbling in your stomach begins to desist*
You: You continue down the hallway and find yet another set of stairs ascending.
Stranger: can u wait just 1min
Stranger: need to ask if i have a ride to a party tomorrow
You: k
Stranger: ok
Stranger: fuck yea XD gettin wasted tomorrow
You: do you has ride?
Stranger: yep
You: that is good..
Stranger: i continue on my path
You: You begin to enter the lower levels of the castle like compound.
You: You encounter several scullery maids along the way, but they hurry on about their business.
You: You make it up and into the courtyard.
Stranger: they better 😛
You: You successfully escape the town walls, and are now in the countryside..
You: What do you do?
You: there are 3 roads..
Stranger: hmm
You: west, north and East.
Stranger: west
You: okay, down that road is woods..
You: do you enter the woods?
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You: well then
Stranger: noldu lan
Stranger: yarraq
Stranger: kulpe
Stranger: götto?
Stranger: piç
You: hmm
Stranger: comprende?
You: ???????
You: alright, unicode support
Stranger: chinese?
You: nope, japanese
Stranger: taiwan
Stranger: i don’t know japanese
You: well, Taiwan using a writing system identical to China’s, but the pronunciation of characters is different
Stranger: nice to know
Stranger: thanks
You: yep
Stranger: so does your name
Stranger: ryu?
You: not sure
You: let me check
Stranger: sakazaki?
Stranger: shizuka?
Stranger: kawasaki?
Stranger: i love shinichi osawa
Stranger: i hope you are osawa
You: dude shinichi osawa is AWESOME!!
Stranger: yes
You: i love his stuff
Stranger: me too
You: i think that his album “The One” is the best
Stranger: yes it is
Stranger: have you listened
Stranger: the remix he made for felix the radiocats tune ”radio” ?
You: no
Stranger: oh really?
Stranger: oh my god!
Stranger: wait
Stranger: …
Stranger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ke6nR9cRl1w
Stranger: you should check this 😉
You: awesome techno is really cool
Stranger: yes i love techno!
Stranger: are you listening ?
You: yes
Stranger: radio
Stranger: i love it!
You: nice stuff
You: you know xkcd?
Stranger: no what is it?
You: a webcomic pretty cool
You: http://xkcd.com
Stranger: ok
Stranger: haha it seems funny
You: yeah that dude’s blog led me to omegle
Stranger: oh ok!
You: so I herd you like mudkipz?
Stranger: so you also like dj kentaro?
Stranger: no i don’t really like trollin!!
You: well that’s cool
Stranger: haha
Stranger: i know what the heck is mudkipz its a silly troll sign haha
Stranger: how old are you?
You: last time I checked, over 9000
Stranger: oh interesting
Stranger: im 10000
You: that’s nice
You: I had an uncle who was around there once
Stranger: (large ascii art thing)
Stranger: now you like mudkipz?
You: Hmm, indubitably
Stranger: 😉
You: (same large ascii art thing)
You: alright then
You: got that covered
Stranger: oh ok
You: definently saving that in a text file
Stranger: yes
Stranger: =)
You: well,
Stranger: TTTTTTTTTTTTTT RRRRRRRRRRRR OOOOOOOO LLLLLL LLLLLL
TTTTTT RRRRRR RRRR OOOO OOOO LLLLLL LLLLLL
TTTTTT RRRRRR RR OOOOOO OO LLLLLL LLLLLL
TTTTTT RRRRRR RR OOOOOO OO LLLLLL LLLLLL
TTTTTT RRRRRR RRRR OOOOOO OO LLLLLL LLLLLL
TTTTTT RRRRRRRRRRRR OOOOOO OO LLLLLL LLLLLL
TTTTTT RRRRRR RR OOOO OOOO LLLLLL LLLLLL
TTTTTT RRRRRR RRRR OOOOOOOO LLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLL
You: is this the real life?
You: is this just fantasy?
Stranger: and saving that too
Stranger: FFFFFFFFFFFFFF AA NN NNTTTTTTTTTTTTTT AA SSSSSSSS YYYYYYYYYY YY
FFFFFF AAAA NNNNNN NN TTTTTT AAAA SSSSSS SS YYYYYYYY YY
FFFFFF AAAAAA NNNNNNNN NN TTTTTT AAAAAA SSSSSS YYYYYYYYYY
FFFFFFFFFFFFFF AAAAAAAA NNNNNNNNNNNN NN TTTTTT AAAAAAAA SSSSSSSSSS YYYYYY
FFFFFF AAAAAAAAAAAAAA NN NNNNNNNNNNNN TTTTTT AAAAAAAAAAAAAA SSSSSSSSSS YYYYYY
FFFFFF AA AAAAAAAA NN NNNNNNNN TTTTTT AA AAAAAAAA SSSSSS YY
FFFFFF AA AAAAAAAAAA NN NNNNNN TTTTTT AA AAAAAAAAAA SS SSSSSS YY
FFFFFF AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN NN TTTTTT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SSSSSSSS YY
You: caught in a landslide, no escape from reality
Stranger: part of it true
You: open your eyes,
You: look up to the skies and seeeeeee
Stranger: but aren’t the ideas of fantasy
Stranger: which makes things ”real” ?
Stranger: haven’t you studied any phlopshy?
You: I doubt Freddy Mercury has
Stranger: the meanings are not in things but in between them
Stranger: i think u r 17
Stranger: and your brain is 15
You: well
Stranger: o_o
Stranger: have you ever heard about friedrich nietszche?
You: I think that your guess of my age is somewhat influenced by everyone saying that they are 17 on here
Stranger: no its not!
You: because I am not 17
Stranger: oh make me believe
You: well, I can’t really, but trust me if you want to
Stranger: i thnk even did not read 50 books in your whole life
Stranger: …
Stranger: then tryin to tell me about what is reality or trollin
Stranger: …
Stranger:
You: I haven’t read too many within the last couple months, but I have read more than 50 books
You: if you’re willing to believe
You: me
Stranger: i don’t
Stranger: think
Stranger: so
Stranger: mudkipz
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Stranger: lol
Stranger: hang on a second, i have to let my dog in
Stranger: i’m back
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: are you Randall?
Stranger: no
You: 😦
Stranger: asl?
Stranger: dun wrry mbetter than randall
You: creeper
You have disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: can i ask you for advice?
Stranger: yes
You: ok, so my girlfriend and i have been going out for about 2 years now, and suddenly she wants to have a sex change, but she doesn’t want to leave me. what should i do?
Stranger: hmm you could do what you want, if you don’t want just tell her
You: what if she leaves me?
Stranger: hmm then she’s not very nice, I think she has to accept it
You: so i should tell her not to do it then, and if she leaves me anyways, she wasn’t worth it in the first place?
Stranger: yes
You: but i love her
Stranger: yes but if she dumps you for that she’s stupid. she has to accept your choises
You: but wouldn’t that inturn mean that i have to accept her choices?
Stranger: yes
You: which would make me a jerk for saying no
Stranger: hmm maybe but I guess not ^^
You: why do you guess not?
Stranger: hmm I can understand it that you dont want that
You: so i don’t know what to do. and then it’s a sex change she’s getting, which makes me feel not good enough
Stranger: hmm maybe it’s not that you’re not good enought but that she wants something new
You: but i already have a penis, whydoes she need another one?
Stranger: hmm I dont know ^^
You: and i don’t know how to talk to her about this because she keeps saying that she’s going to get one bigger than mine, and that then she will be the man in the relationship
Stranger: hmm it sounds that she isn’t a very nice person
You: she used to be nice. she used to be amazing. i don’t know what happened. i guess she’s not the same today as she was when we first met
Stranger: hmm maybe she act like she was nice but she wasnt
You: maybe. idk. what should i do?
Stranger: I dont know but if she isnt very nice you could dump her
You: but i need her. i’ve grown so attatched to her
Stranger: hmm sounds like you’re addicted to a bitch, but maybe you have to see her not a lot and take time to think
You: how could i get away for a few days so i can think? should i say there was a family emergency and leave for a while/
You: ?
Stranger: yes
You: what if she askes to come with me?
Stranger: then you could better tell her the truth
You: i’m scared of her though. she’s been working out a lot lately
You: steroids and all
Stranger: hmm you can better tell her the truth
You: but she’ll beat me!
Stranger: dump her
You: but she’ll still beat me and then rape my butt
You: she told me she’d do that if i ever tried to leave
Stranger: dude shes a bitch
You: i’m fucking scared!
You: i don’t want to be ass raped!
Stranger: dude dump her,
You: but she’ll butt rape me! don’t you understand? i dont like shit being shoved into my ass
Stranger: if you dont dump her you will be scared like this forever, do you want that?
You: no
Stranger: dump here then
You: i’ll try
You: i love you man
Stranger: =O
You have disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heyy
You: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: apple sauce licking is so old
Stranger: ?
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Good evening”
Stranger: I take off my robe and wizard hat
Stranger: I sit down on my sofa
You: Do you read xkcd?
Stranger: yes
You: The blag is where I heard about this site.
Stranger: I heard about this in the blogosphere
You: How about the interblag?
Stranger: nope, Bloggernet
You: I’m sitting in my ball pit, so I’m getting a kick out of this.
Stranger: hold on
You: ok
Stranger: someone’s wrong on the internet
You: Are the tubes clogged?
Stranger: no, but I got my hat back
Stranger: after an incident on the subway
Stranger: see, I do this thing where I keep a notebook whenever I ride the subway
You: I know! She stole my hat too!
Stranger: bitch
You: exactly.
You: Then I met a guy who wore two hats.
Stranger: I had to steal a submarine and pop out from the middle of a frozen lake
Stranger: Summer Glau stole my electric skateboard
You: And swallowed a bug.
Stranger: yep
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Single word disconnect:
Stranger: Hi
Stranger: ASL?
You: Pluto?
Stranger has disconnected
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I have met so many incredibly epic people. this site is amazing!
Stranger: hi
You: hello
Stranger: how are you
You: im good thanks. ask ASL and il scream
Stranger: lol
Stranger: well i couldnt hear you if you did
You: and yourself?
Stranger: i’m alright
You: good to hear 🙂
You: what are you up to?
Stranger: hanging out talking to you… about to get in the shower
You: (( and i know *you* couldnt, but if you were a nice person, you surely wouldnt want to assault to ears of those around me))
Stranger: lol
Stranger: well i’m a nice person so i wont ask
You: kwl 🙂 im enjoying some rather nice rice
You: thank you 😀
You: what would you like to talk about?
Stranger: i dunno… what makes your rice so nice?
Stranger: i’m quite a fan of chicken fried rice… so if your eatin chicken fried rice it probably is nice
Stranger: i’ll say it twice
Stranger: or thrice
Stranger: sam i am
You: haha getting trapped in rhymes here… tis egg-fried my stranger friend
You: i do not like green eggs and ham
Stranger: well egg fried is good too
Stranger: i am havin a hard time not making a rhyme
Stranger: wouldnt you know it? i sound like a poet
You: oh thats a shame, am i to blame?
Stranger: you may have had a hand… with a few instruments we could make a band
You: admirable my friend, but when does it end?
Stranger: it ends when you say… or i am fed up with my own gay
You: we are trapped in this, reality is certainly amiss
Stranger: but what can you, what can you say… is there really any other way?
Stranger: i know one way to end it good and well… i could always ask your ASL 😉
Stranger: haha that was a joke my lass or my bloke… it was merely a joke i spoke
You: oh my friend do not jest, i fear to ask that is not best
Stranger: i would never think it… because for this unique convo to end would quite stinketh
You: i have met my match in you i say, this conversation has certainly made my day
Stranger: and i am glad… the last thing i would wanna do is make a stranger mad
You: this stranger is happy do not fear, you are not mad and you do not leer
You: that is good enough for me, this site offers little sanity that i can see
Stranger: well at least i am not a creeper… a stalker or a peeper 😛
Stranger: besides it would be hard to cyber in rhyming words… such a thing would be absurd
Stranger: you are very slow… i wish you would finish your sentence before i must go
Stranger: for you see i have a late lunch date, and it would be a shame if i were late
You: im sorry to delay you, please do not be tempted to sue
Stranger: worry not i could never sue, i wouldnt ever do such a thing to you
You: i was eating and i am sorry, i would not wish to make you tarry
Stranger: that didnt really rhyme… but that is a forgivable crime
Stranger: as is established the rice is nice… so nice that its too good for mice
Stranger: that rhyme was weak… so weak i dare not speak
You: speak my friend, mine are worse to the bitter end
Stranger: than speak shall i… speak til the day i die
You: i am so very glad, now you will not die driven mad
Stranger: but i must leave in half an hour and i’ve yet to take a shower
You: oh dear my stranger friend, i think i had best call this conversation to an end
Stranger: i am going to a very nice pub, i do not jest… where the wings are the very best
Stranger: omegle has never offered me better… i have enjoyed every word and every letter
You: omegle has indeed found me a friend, this conversation has been fantastic til the end
Stranger: well i am kevin, not bill ted nor tom… and if interested my email is *********@hotmail.com
Stranger: feel no obligation to contact me… but if you wish it do feel free
Stranger: i must go i say i must… though id rather stay do trust
You: id rather you stay too also, but to those wings you must go
Stranger: i have already delayed much too long… i would have left already had i been strong
You: be strong my friend and have a good day, i shall wish you well along your way
Stranger: i bid you good bye… oh new found friend of my
You: goodbye dear stranger and trust… we shall speak again, i feel we must
Stranger: very well… i bid thee farewell
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: *glomp* Do you read XKCD?
Stranger: No
Stranger: Prove to me you’re not a robot
You: Er…
You: How?
Stranger: What does it mean to be human?
You: To have feelings?
You: And…be made of carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and nitrogen?
Stranger: Tell me robot
Stranger: What does electricity feel like
You: Well, I’m not a robot. I’m a people. But elecricity feels…zappy.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: ALEX?
You: JESSICA?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: i enjoy making sailboats.
You: …
You: i’ll just save you the trouble.
You have disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: i’m just gonna cut to the chase. i’m a down-on-my-luck telemarketer who really needs to sell something. you want a little fan for your car?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: im 17, male, very horny and only typing with one hand 😉
You: how did you lose your other one?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hello!
You: where are you from?
Stranger: HK
Stranger: u ?
You: how are you doing?
Stranger: so so
Stranger: where r u from?
You: hongkong?
Stranger: yap
You: i am from austria.
You: what do you want to talk about?
You: are you male or female?
Stranger: lol
You: what is so funny. 🙂 ?
Stranger: nothing
Stranger: ha = )
Stranger: male u ?
You: i am male, yes.
Stranger: same too
You: i have to go now. goodbye. have a great day. sunshine and laughter for you.
Stranger: wut the fuk u want mother fuker
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: i’m bored at work
You: how about you?
Stranger: i’m enjoy : )
Stranger: where are you from?
You: the sea
You: everyone came from the sea
Stranger: no, i’m from Poland ;>
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: asl?
You: dsl, actually. gives me pretty good speeds.
You: makes it real easy to download…. my files.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
Stranger: f or m
You: hello!
You: where are you from?
You: male
You: you?
Stranger: famele
Stranger: fuck me?
You: so how are you doing?
Stranger: i am sexy and hot
You: hmm, you sure your famale (female)
Stranger: do you like fuck?
Stranger: yes or no please
You: ha
You: lol
Stranger: yes or no
You: yes
Stranger: good
Stranger: do you like sex?
Stranger: yes or no
You: yes *looks at you dumbfoundedly*
You: well, i’d g2g
You have disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: cali surfer chick,, DVF designer??
You: sadly, no. i collect pictures of people being chased by dogs.
You: but i am lesbian if that helps.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: you with 4chan
You: what?
You: They on here?
Stranger: uhhhhh
Stranger: abort mission
Stranger: terminating….
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Oh Shit.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: dad?
Stranger: yes?
You: OMG
You: they werent kidding
You: they said id find you on here
You: where are you living?
Stranger: I’ve told you a million times not to listen to your friends!
You: why did you leave mom?
You: She has to sell her body now
Stranger: ummmm….it’s complicated. I’ll tell you when you’re older.
You: it’s gross…she uses my bed
Stranger: ewww.
Stranger: Get some Lysol.
You: while im still in it, too
You: I can’t afford lysol
Stranger: try some bleach and a spray bottle, then
You: that would be because of you
Stranger: sorry. life is hard.
You: dont have either
You: you BASTARD
You: Next time someone asks me to go down on them, i’m biting
You: I hope they find you
Stranger: Well, technically, YOU’RE the bastard, since your mom and I aren’t married any more.
You: you guys were married?!
You: I thought you just roophy-ed her
Stranger: we never wanted to tell you. you’d get your hopes up.
You: fuck.
Stranger: sorry.
Stranger: So, how is life treating you these days?
You: Like a dick in my asshole.
You: you?
Stranger: better than you, apparently.
You: No…
You: was that your dick in my asshole?
Stranger: ewww.
You: it hurt
You: even though youre so small
Stranger: my advice: therapy. quickly.
You: I WAS A BUTTHOLE VIRGIN
You: YOU ASSFUCK
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The /b/rothers are here.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi!
Stranger: hello
Stranger: how r u?
You: I’m great, first time I use this site
You: It’s really cool
You: You?
Stranger: im brillinat ^^
You: Why is that?
Stranger: tablets
You: Do you mean drugs or illustrated diagrams?
Stranger: perscribed drugs
You: Ok, that actually is a lot less creepy then illustrated diagrams.
Stranger: lol
You have disconnected.
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Last night I met someone I knew from university on Omegle.
Hence, I had to destroy it.
Today, the 4chan people have moved in, looking for David, so I informed everyone that David needed to know Eagle says hi – the world depends on it. I contacted over 100 people, which represents about 4% of the chatroom’s population at any one time. I hope I’ve made a large enough dent to cause a terminal implosion.
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You: hi
Stranger: giraffe?
You: no. eagle
Stranger: giraffe wins
You: no. eagle pwns giraffe
Stranger: thats just the rules of hopskotch
Stranger: deal with it
You: hopscotch is an epic fail
Stranger: no
Stranger: hopskotch***
Stranger: i don’t hop skip and jump bitch
Stranger: animal hopskotch
Stranger: you never heard of it?
You: no
Stranger: you american?
You: no
You: can eagles play?
Stranger: eagles are below giraffes
You: why?
You: eagles have talons
Stranger: just the rules innit
You: eagles are awesome
Stranger: giraffes have far superior vertibrae
Stranger: although still only 23 of them, they are big as fuck
You: eagles can motherfudging fly. end of.
You: i would know i am an eagle
Stranger: well im a fucking girafe
Stranger: ill mow your motherfucking wings off
Stranger: with my horny pad
You: i’ll scratch your stupid little horns
Stranger: you can’t win, it’s the rules of animal hopskotch
You: EAGLES ALWAYS WIN
You: THIS IS REAL LIFE, NOT HOPSKOTCH
Stranger: oh my god
Stranger: you don’t get it
Stranger: hopskotch is real life
You: EAGLES WIN.
You: EAFLES ARE CARNIVORES
You: HIGHER IN THE FOOD CHAIN
You: I COULD EAT YOU FOR DINNER
Stranger: try eatin a giraffe you fuck
You: OVER SEVERAL WEEKS
Stranger: i’ll smash you with my head
Stranger: and long necck
You: try and catch me when i’m flying at 10000 feet
You: is your neck that long? didn’t think so
Stranger: i don’t need to, you can’t eat me from that far away
Stranger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7HCIGFdBt8
Yep, I’ve definitely broken it.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: I put on my robe and wizard hat
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: asl
You: 392/male elf/lothlorien
Stranger: you lie
You: i so do not
You: fuck this third age, man
Stranger: ??
You: i’m going to go numenorean on-
You: wait, what are those runes? black tongue?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: do you know how some people consider “may you have an interesting life” to be a curse?
Stranger: I know a lot people consider this
You: fuck those people
Stranger: why
You: wanna have an adventure?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: but I must consider about my daily life
You: screw it, take wrong turns, talk to strangers. do things without knowing always how the hell they’ll turn out.
Stranger: no ,that’s too crazy,I like adventure because it will fill something amazing into my life
Stranger: what job are you doing now
You: cheating
Stranger: that’s cool
You: you’re curious and smart and bored, and nearly all you see is the choice between working hard and slacking off. there are so many things that you might miss because you’re waiting to think of a plan! To find them look for tiny interesting choices.
Stranger: you are cute and crazy and cool,I would like you to be one of my friends only if you promise never cheat me.
Stranger: I like your ideas
You: my name is megan. I’m from the internet. I wonder who you are.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi!
Stranger: hi~
Stranger: 🙂
Stranger: a,s,l?
You: 19, YES, 127.0.0.1
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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“I log into Omegle, looking for lost xkcd readers. I start with “hi, do you like flying kites”?
The Stranger loves flying kites. She is a young girl from Umeå, a city in the deep north of Sweden. She doesn’t know xkcd at all, but enjoys riding in the north wind with kites all day long, especially in summer, that up there is warm and windy. We open up, because I’ve always had a little crush on Sweden, I also speak a little awkward Swedish (I’m Italian and to her that was incredibly funny). I used to think of moving north because a lonely physics student like me, in Italy, has no future at all.
Our chat lasts all morning long, we share our stories, our fears and our heroes. She says she finds herself sometimes awake at night, breathing the wind outside the window. Just like me.
(I checked that she’s not likely a liar, we have also talked about swedish keyboards –difficult to use if you’re not used to them– and she has one.)
I start dreaming about riding with her up and down the hills in Sweden, raising blue kites and watching them get entwined.
When she has to go, askes for my messenger contact. I haven’t been using msn fore ages since I’ve moved to Linux, for the first time today I log in, waiting for her to add me. Still she hasn’t.”
This I wrote the day before yesterday, and she still hasn’t re-appeared. I’ve spent the last 2 days logging like a madman into Omegle, asking everyone “do you like flying kites?”, hoping to meet her again. I don’t even know her name.
So if you start a chat and you read “do you like flying kites?”, that’s not Megan, it’s me lost, trying desperately to rebuild a contact with my sweet Swedish kite-flying girl.
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: asl?
Stranger: hi
You: dsl, actually. gives me pretty good speeds.
You: makes it real easy to download…. my files.
Stranger: clever
You: I try
Stranger: way to avoid what i asked
You: Well, we can’t all be experts
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
****************
Thanks Estevan.
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