FRUIT OPINIONS!

Posted byRandall 571 Comments on FRUIT OPINIONS!

Holy crap. This strip’s been up for 800 seconds and it’s already the most controversial thing I’ve ever written, beating out comics about cunnilingus, the Obama endorsement, and my making 4chan tiny on the map of the internet. It turns out everyone and their mother has a fruit opinion, and every one of those opinions is now in my inbox.

Just remember to keep some perspective. If you think watermelon is delicious, and I think it’s only so-so, the important thing is that we each find something we like. Who’s to say whose taste is right?

I am. You are wrong; watermelon is overrated.

Also, I have never liked cantaloupe. It brings down otherwise tasty fruit salads. There, I said it.

571 replies on “FRUIT OPINIONS!”

  1. After this I’m seriously contemplating over not reading this comic ever again.
    I fucking love grafruit. It’s one of the best things that’ve ever happened to mankind, up there with the Internet and chocolate.

    I had a period in my life when I went to the store at my lunch break or after work and bought three grapefruits every fucking day. And by god, yes, I ate them all up by myself. Most of them, anyway.
    And, like someone said, fuck sugar. Grapefruit is delicious all by itself.

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  4. Rockmelon and American canteloupe might be different species but they taste pretty much the same to me, ie. disgusting.

    Fuck rockmelon.
    Fuck canteloupe.

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  5. And I think grapefruit is actually pretty tasty, but I respect Randall’s opinion. Fuck all these indignant people. 😛

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  6. i love grapefruit and lemons. but i’am weird like that. shouldn’t strawberry’s be the 2ed easiest fruit to eat (seconed only to the mighty grapes)? and i think watermelon and pomagranite should swap on relative tasty / untasty. or at least let the great pomagranite go up above the line. i had a pomagranite tree in the back-yard once. very tastey. but of course, horribly tough to eat.

    and you have obviously never had a truely good orange. normally i hate the things… but every so often, when you get a nice, big, fresh one… oh my… they are like pure bliss within a waxy rind.

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  8. You must be out of your mind if you think that Pineapples are more difficult than pomegranates *and* less tasty than grapes. I can see a lot of difficult judgments have been made in order to supply us with this much needed map to happiness, but clearly you have some kind of unnatural bias when it comes to sweet golden deliciousness.

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  9. What did the girl melon say to her boyfriend?
    “Honeydew you love me? We canteloupe now.”

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  10. Honestly, I did not expect this. I’d expect any day now to hear California and Florida Citrus Growers to form an unholy alliance against Mr. Monroe. With that much citric acid being thrown around, it ain’t gonna be pretty. Eyes and cuts will burn I tell you, BURN.

    I think I speak with others in questioning why Honeydew was deprived from this list? Perhaps it’d be the opposite of pineapple, being too tasty and easy to eat to display on the list.

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  12. Durians are the foulest smelling fruit on the planet. They are banned in subways, markets, public places, etc… in malasia. They are also huge and spiky, and are known to fall and kill people.

    If you crack one open it looks like a gooey fetus or something. Disgusting.

    the smell takes hours to go away. If you want to play a prank, go to an asian food store and buy some Durian flavored cookies, candy, etc… and put them in peoples’ light fixtures, under couches, etc..

    All the way to the lower left. Fuck durian.

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  13. …Wow. This is amazing– all of this controversy over fruit. But, yeah, fuck tomatoes. Not to insult people who like them, but I can’t stand the things outside of sauces. Furthermore, I will reserve judgement of those who eat the durian– their staminas are admirable.

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  14. Very funny! About mangoes and their associated difficulty level: if you know how to do it, it is just as easy to prepare a mango for consumption as it is to prepare an apple. Same tool required, too. However, it is messier to eat the mango. Maybe that is a third dimension that could be included on a graph … a messiness/sticky factor. Should be an interesting resulting plot.

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  15. Grapefruits are actually delicious and easy if you know the proper technique:

    why fuck them when you could be eating them?

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  16. Well, sir. I agree with you on the “FUCK GRAPEFRUIT” vein, so I’m not going to argue the rest of it.

    However, I’d like to inform you that if you use a drill and drill very slowly on a coconut, it will open. You will also need to row twice before fighting da powah.

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  17. I just wanted to says that, i loved most of the comic strips and forums on this web site, but to be honest, Fruit perception? it’s kind of lame don’t you think?

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  18. “I think I speak with others in questioning why Honeydew was deprived from this list? Perhaps it’d be the opposite of pineapple, being too tasty and easy to eat to display on the list.”
    They do have a rind, remember.

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  19. Pomegranate = Liquid health.
    I condemn you to an eternity of swiimming a botttomless, endless sea of bannanas.

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  20. I feel that a disservice has been done to plums the world over. They are far tastier than their positioning on the chart indicates.

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  23. Hey Randy, I’ve always wondered, is that map truly proportional to the respected sites?

    I wouldn’t doubt you would use true data, just always wondered.

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  24. I’ve never thought of avocados as a fruit. Apparently they are.

    Shi-it.

    Are they, like coconuts, on the chart but not visibly so?

    What, pray tell, is your opinion on avocados?

    Kind regards,
    Sigma Alpha of The Flyin’ Buttresses

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  26. You know, with strawberries you have to get rid of the leaves on top and all. Blueberries on the other hand require no work.

    Also, I would like to point out that this might be the most popularly commented blag ever.

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  27. This comic is a pollution on your otherwise very prescient strip. I am entirely disgusted by your placement of pomegranates BELOW the 0 mark, and your comments about watermelon and the princely cantaloupe in your blog post evince your utter disregard for true fruity glory. As such, I whole-heartedly urge you to revise this post haste.

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  28. The third fruit graph (the one you can click and move the fruits) is completely skewed! We must fight these fruit trolls and have an accurate show for THE TRUTH!

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  29. Pingback: 53prime » Blog Archive » Fruits in {TASTY,EASY} Space & The Reaction
  30. Pingback: 53prime » Blog Archive » Fruits in {TASTY,EASY} Space & The Reaction

  31. Perhaps rating politicians (or genitals, or both) in fruit form would perhaps been the single most controversial thing on the surface of earth.

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  32. I correct myself:

    “Perhaps rating politicians (or genitals, or both) in fruit form would have been the single most controversial thing on the surface of earth.”

    is what I intended to say initially.

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  33. I really dig the ability to show the distribution of ratings on the first graph listed on fruitgraph.com. Strawberries appear to be the fruit most consistently rated high in ease of use and tastiness.

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  34. What’s your problem with grapefruit, they’re amazing!! I would rather have a double mastectomy than give them up.

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  35. Hmmmm….I disagree with pineapple. It is the most delicious fruit, it’s just that you don’t get instant gratification. It takes some time, and the waiting makes it all the better. Yummmm.

    Furthermore, peaches are not that delicious. I say sir, you are wrong (and they look like butts…) :p

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  39. Finally someone with the courage to tell the truth! Melons in general will diminish any dish they’re added to.

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  40. You’ve got the easy-difficult axis dead on, but i guess that’s less subjective.
    I do question the placement of tomatoes on the easy side – few people eat tomatos straight up, without something to put them on, and i think the need to prepare the food to go with it adds to the difficulty – unless you are describing straight tomatoes, in which case the untasty rating certainly is not unexpected. I would still say that banannas are easier than tomatoes unless we are talking about the small “cherry” tomatoes, because large tomatoes require a utensil to eat normally, while you can prepare a bananna with your bare hands.
    It is clear that there is much controversy over the tastiness axis, which is to be expected. Personally i cant stand peaches (not even peach shnapes liqour, and i’ll drink just about any flavored liquor in a mixed drink), and i’m no fan of pears either, while i find oranges and tangerines one of the few fruits tasty enough to justify eating (though artificially flavored orange candy disgusts me). I’m glad that i’m not alone in disliking cantaloupes, they have a very contagious flavor, which causes them to contaminate an entire fruit salad if even a small quantity is added – this doesnt seem to carry over to melon liquor (ie Midori), though, nor to melon candies. I have hope that science will bring us a cantaloupe which has the good parts of the flavor without that distinct and persistent undesirable flavor.
    One other entry i think is worth noting is the Pomegranate. The whole joy of them is in their difficulty in eating, as a group activity. In highschool some of my friends would often eat one and refer to it as a corpse during the course of eating it, with many accompanying jokes.
    As an aside, the normally unpleasant pomegranate juice, mixed about 50:50 with Full Throttle Energy Drink (which is also not that good on its own, though okay mixed), can accept a truely stunning amount of vodka, while still tasting the same as the juice:full throttle mixture. And it looks the same to the untrained eye, so it could be consumed from the pomegranate juice bottle, and people would assume the drinker to be health conscious, rather that a boozer (whether this is desirable depends on the situation).
    -Az

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  41. Your lack of faith in the citrus fruits shall be your undoing. We specifically target nonbelievers like you for the most terrible of afflictions:

    SCURVY

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  42. Joe: Mangoes are the best fruit available. They are rightfully the national fruit of India. It is obvious you never had any mangoes, or good ones atleast. I don’t blame you because the “good ones” that are exported are actually the ones which are grown in North-Western part of India (because those are the people doing business and those are the mangoes which are hard to grow), and those are the least tasty mangoes I have ever eaten.

    If you ever happen to have a (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Langra), don’t miss it!

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  43. I stumbled upon (via the plugin) this today and thought it was fitting.

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  44. Just to get away from the whole fruit debate, I wanted to say how the first thing I thought of for this strip was the line from Adaptation: “Then one morning, I woke up and said, “Fuck fish.” I renounce fish, I will never set foot in that ocean again…”

    I can so picture someone devoting their whole life to grapefruit, waking up one morning and saying “Fuck grapefruit, I renounce grapefruit”.

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  45. My brother-in-law fondled the prickly pear cactus in the fruit bowl. (Not a euphemism, an actual statement of events) and managed to get several slivers from it.

    Most Satisfying Fruit Purchase of the Year.

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  46. Do I jump into this swirling chaos, or is it too late?

    I ❤ t3h intrawebternets because of things like this. Keep up the good work!

    And while I think that oranges should be changed by 180 degrees, bananas by 90 degrees, and lemons moved up to be somewhat tastier than grapefruit, I will agree with your main argument.

    Fuck grapefruit.

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Comments are closed.