LimerickDB.com

Remember limericks? They were huge in the mid-20th century, but fell on hard times over the last couple decades. Now so many dirty limericks are a generation out-of-date, and the really clever ones lie neglected and un-retold.

I want more limericks, and I want the cleverest ones collected somewhere. It strikes me that a certain modern system for collecting bits of funny text might be perfect for both these goals.

So, after a moment’s work, I’ve set up LimerickDB.com, which you’ll recognize as similar to bash.org. Submit away, both old and new! Anonymity is encouraged and a respect for meter is required. Dirtiness is not mandatory, but it helps.

197 replies on “LimerickDB.com”

  1. If you don’t speak in verse all the time, then you should.

    Oh- and I have both Opera and Firefox installed- and use them both!

    Like

  2. Although speaking in verse is inspiring
    It’s rewriting my brains inner wiring
    The more I rehearase
    I start *thinking* in verse
    Which is honestly really quite …
    Tiresome?

    Like

  3. @Nachtkreicher:

    I got it. I laughed. 🙂 I’m going to send that joke to some of my CS friends.

    Like

  4. Any chance you could upgrade the software running this DB to chirpy? http://chirpy.sourceforge.net/ – Rash is _so_ annoying with not preventing the default action when clicking on a vote link for a quote/limerick; I’m totally not used to having to middle-click anymore. (And even if I do, that’s still a pain for then needing to go close all those tabs again.)

    Like

  5. Marcus, probably you are, but by all means feel free to share one such limerick with us. I’m quite curious to see what you have in mind.

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  6. “There once was a man from Perdue
    Whose limericks stopped at line two.

    There once was a man from Verdun.

    (There’s also one about a man named Nero, but I can’t seem to find it.)”

    😀
    😀
    😀

    Like

  7. @ Will:

    Yeah I bet. You can stop now if you want 😛

    Adoration at alliteration, also! As an apt alliterator, a-aimed alliterations are always amazingly auspiciously assembled.

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  8. Oh one more thing, I posted it on my personal blag (fairly new, most of the posts are about anarchism/communism right now) with a request for something a little more bawdy to be written about me.

    I have no readers though so nobody will haha. The only reason I created it in the first place was to extrapolate on an assignment, and to share my rantings with my classmates.

    Like

  9. Something broken? None of my submissions have made it on (they seem good enough to me), and when I send mail to admin@limerickdb.com it replies:

    Reporting-MTA: dns; QMTA08.emeryville.ca.mail.comcast.net [76.96.30.80]
    Received-From-MTA: dns; OMTA01.emeryville.ca.mail.comcast.net [76.96.30.11]
    Arrival-Date: Sun, 17 Feb 2008 18:18:54 +0000

    Final-recipient: rfc822; admin@limerickdb.com
    Action: failed
    Status: 5.1.1
    Diagnostic-Code: smtp; 554 5.7.1 : Relay access denied
    Last-attempt-Date: Sun, 17 Feb 2008 18:18:54 +0000

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  10. here’s one (#107), is it reminding you of anything at all ?:

    See that lighthouse beam in the sky
    That guides yonder ships going by?
    My friend shines that beam;
    She’s living her dream.
    I’m in grad school. I still don’t know why.

    Like

  11. I can’t actually believe this one hasn’t been posted yet.

    There once was a man from Kent
    Whose dick was so long that it bent
    To keep out of trouble
    He’d fold it in double
    And instead of coming he went.

    Like

  12. A little hacking job on the votes here… 😉

    #!/bin/bash
    while curl ‘http://limerickdb.com/?ratingplus&id=27’|true
    do
    echo ‘Hacked!’;
    sleep 16
    done

    Like

  13. Funny thing about finding this, is that the same day this was posted, I was shown a paper written by my aerodynamics professor at the university of michigan. He wrote an entire CFD theory paper in limerick. Good to know my profs are as bored as I am.

    Like

  14. there once was a hooker named jill
    who used dynamite for a thrill
    they found her vagina
    in north carolina
    and bits of her tits in brazil

    There once was a man of Arnoux
    whose limericks stopped at line two

    Like

  15. The British radio show “I’m Sorry I haven’t a Clue” still generates limericks every now and then.

    Like

  16. Please, could we have an RSS feed? There used to be one for bash.org too, but they stopped it.
    BTW, XKCD rocks. 😉

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  17. Thanks. I used to have several limericks of my own stuck in my head, but after reading a couple of dozen of the latest postings I can’t remember them. Sort of a retroactive memory interference thing I guess. In any case I sincerely appreciate forgetting them.

    Like

  18. ThemePark: Thanks. It’s not quite as clever as I remember it, all those years ago, but it’s good to see it again. My own Google-Fu was weak until I got the title.

    Like

  19. I’m here because I was lookin’ for a place to comment on your current xkcd comic #435.

    When I was in high school (circa 1960), I chose math as a college major for similar reasons, and then later math logic, ditto: I found that psychology was applied bio; bio, applied chem; chem, applied physics; physics, applied math. But then I later thought: But math is applied philosophy; philosophy, applied psychology. Hence the whole thing is a circle. I put that in a book chapter in 1987, “Complementarity as a Christian philosophy of Mathematics,” in
    Heie and Wolfe.

    If I were to modify that now, I’d insert “Physics is applied information science” between physics and math.

    Enjoyed the video of your talk at Google!

    –Gene Chase

    Like

  20. Woah. I was just googling about what websites use rash and I came across this blog entry. It makes me so happy that you’re using something I wrote.

    If anyone’s interested, this project was how I taught myself to program computers, and was definitely a learning experience in such things. It was coded by a complete novice who knew nothing, and that’s why it’s so buggy and hole-ridden. This project led me to major in mathematics in college… a major I’m about to finish.

    It’s crazy to think that the owner of one of my favorite websites has been running code I wrote back in high school. It’s pretty amazing – the internet is awesome.

    I don’t really have an interest in going back and making things more secure, better operational, or whatever — I don’t love web programming like I used to, but this brought a smile to my face :).

    Like

  21. I stumbled on limerickdb
    and reading it filled me with glee
    alas something is wrong
    no updates in so long
    im done, no new limericks to see

    Like

  22. A man typed “I less than three”,
    But he said “What says ‘Love’ to me?…”
    The man thought of a comic
    Whose awesomeness atomic
    Cant be spoken, only spelled, you see.

    This limerick only applies until someone creative finds out how to say “XKCD” without totally cheating.
    :]

    Like

  23. P.S. having justified my posting by putting up a limerick, i’d like to add that XKCD is my favorite website of all time. including youtube, gmail, facebook and google. together. 😀

    Like

  24. It’s supposed to be written “xkcd”, not XKCD, unless you are one of those GUYS HOO R ALWAYS TYPIN LIEK THIS!?!?!?

    I met, once, a man who who was dumb.
    He was only able to type with his thumb.
    He blogged, not too skilled.
    It’s his fault he was killed.
    Now I’m playing his funeral drum.

    Like

  25. can’t actually believe this one hasn’t been posted yet.

    There once was a man from Kent
    Whose dick was so long that it bent
    To keep out of trouble
    He’d fold it in double
    And instead of coming he went.

    Like

  26. I actually did a whole vocabulary quiz in school entirely in limerick. My teacher was astounded.

    Like

  27. A neuroscientist’s limerick:

    “Oh Oh Oh To Touch And Feel
    Virgin Girl’s Vaginas, still,
    ‘Ah Heaven,’ it says,
    But to me, I know best:
    cranial nerves really are… Heelll?”

    Like

  28. I looked at limerickdb.com but didn’t see any way to submit a three-limerick “story”, so here goes:

    To his girl in the shade of the garden
    he, embarassed, exclaimed “I beg pardon,”
    for however you play
    with my member today
    it completely refuses to harden.”

    “This state, as a general rule,
    is your brain, not your thing, you old fool!
    Imagine me cloned,
    simultaneously boned
    by your hands and your tongue and your tool.”

    While his mind this tableau was rehearsing
    his problem was quickly reversing.
    They both, as they say,
    came buckets, that day;
    hence the triplets she’s currently nursing.

    Like

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