Since last night I’ve been obsessively connecting to Omegle.
It’s a simple site that just connects you to a random person, anonymously, for a conversation.
It feels like that scene in Fight Club where the narrator sits down next to Tyler on the plane. Two strangers meeting, laying out their personality and sizing each other up in just a few words, with no expectations, and — thanks to anonymity — no consequences.
Except in this case, a lot of the time Tyler just screams “COCKS”, punches the narrator, and jumps out of the window.
Still, it’s fun!
xkcd 
This is the best conversation I’ve had so far:
You: hi
Stranger: Do You like chocolate?
You: no
Stranger: Everyone else here does
Stranger: good
Stranger: were safe
You: it is the most disgusting thing I have eaten
You: do you?
Stranger: just don’t talk to anyone esle
Stranger: well
Stranger: we need a plan
You: a plan
You: ?
Stranger: to escape the chocolate lovers
Stranger: i’ll take a shotgun and go down the fire escape
You: Yes! we must purge the world of this vile substance
Stranger: you take the moltovs and toss them off the roof
Stranger: then when i hit the train station we meet back here
You: hang on are we being violent about it? That’s bound not to work.
Stranger: Why
You: They will give us chocolate to try to calm us
You: make us happy and friendly
Stranger: Throw it back at their face
You: like soma
Stranger: then shoot them
You: back at their face? I like that
Stranger: yeah
You: But if we
You: sorry
You: but if we’re trying to get the world to believe that chocolate is bad
Stranger: We need to take over the emergency brodcast system
You: will they listen to people who are shooting and tossing molotovs?
You: hmm…
Stranger: then make a psa about the evils of chocolate
You: It might work…
Stranger: if they do not obey
Stranger: we threaten death
You: and we say that what we are doing is for the greater good? ah, even better idea.
You: I see.
Stranger: The Nearest T.V. Station is 5 blocks awat
You: All right.
Stranger: I’ll go to the train station down teh road
Stranger: then over to teh tv station
You: Oh ok
Stranger: you lay cover fire
You: I’ll stay here?
Stranger: with this sniper rifle and these moltovs
You: Ok, got it.
Stranger: yes ill call you when it is clear
You: Ok. Talk to you in a bit.
Stranger: and if i don’t make it. tell my wife i love her
You: I will.
You: But you’ll make it.
Stranger: GUNS UP LETS DO THIS! LLLLEEEEERRRROOOYYYY JENKINS
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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I liked this one.
You: hi
Stranger: hello
Stranger: who are you?!
You: I am your father
Stranger: My name is luke
You: yeah i know
You: now go tidy your room!
You have disconnected.
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Stranger: hi
You: greetings, earthling
Stranger: sweet! where ya from?
You: a realm unknown to yours.
You: i am a pioneer from the future
Stranger: any special.. skills..?
You: sarcasm, for one
You: intellect, verbiage
You: and martial arts
Stranger: you had me at “beep bee bop” ^^
You: oh, and ive beat all the final fantasy games
You: on every platform
You: yay, future!
Stranger: yeah, I guess bending time and space can make you a walking spoiler.
You: pretty much so
Stranger: what kind of MA?
You: i peg your pardon?
You: beg*
Stranger: martial arts
Stranger: “peg”. ^^
You: all of them
Stranger: oh. motor sports?
You: ahahah, motor sports
Stranger: archery?
You: you see, in the future, complex algorithms have acutallly bent the laws of physics, rendering motor sports… welll, nearly impossible
You: same with archery
Stranger: building.. boats?
You: that is… dare i say it… so 30th century
Stranger: oh, yes.
Stranger: of course.
Stranger: I’m a bit.. slow.. evolutionwise.
You: in fact, most methods of transportation have been phased out; humans have evolved to have the capability to haver at immense speeds
You: hover*
Stranger: good one.
Stranger: been looking forward to that for a while.
You: yes, its quite a handy feature
You: the english language is no longer in use, instead everyone speaks in a universal code
You: so pardon any mistakes i make in spelling or grammar. it took me quite some time to learn this language of yours
Stranger: it’s not mine, I prefer swedish.
Stranger: the long legged accent, that is.
You: ah, i see
You: thats one thing that has intrigued me about the past
Stranger: go on
You: english seems like a universal language, yet there are so many different forms of it
You: different “accents”
You: as you call them
Stranger: mhm.
You: i find i like the nordic accents the best: swedish, finnish, norwegian
You: but british accents are just as euphonic
Stranger: you think?
You: in their own way, yes
You: i have spent a bit of my journey to the past traveling to different countries and merely listening
Stranger: yes, I suppose so.
You: listening is a lost art in the future
Stranger: Have you seen the ancient movie “pathfinder”?
You: alas, no
You: few “ancient” movies from the 20th and 21st century have acutally survived throughtout the years
You: one of the few “ancient” movies left is “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”
You: quite an amusing folly if i do say so myself
Stranger: well.. it’s a rather exciting documentary. accent-wise. not two “injuns” from the same village speak the same accent. some consider it a poor production.
Stranger: some consider it to be uttrly truthful
You: hm. i shall have to look into this
You: there may be a copy of this film in the World Archives
You: all films are stored here
Stranger: Neat.
Stranger: I think I’d like the future.
You: ah, well, it is quite different from the past
You: genetic studies in the 25th century created a pharamaceutical that one can take that will affect their telomeres
You: basically, in the future, you age to 100 years, then begin the aging process backwards
Stranger: So, you’ll live to be 200yrs?
You: roughly
You: give or take
Stranger: And have to experience puberty TWICE?
You: alas
Stranger: Not sure I like that*
You: but they are working on prefecing the deaging process so that one’s “second life” will not have such inconveniences
Stranger: Well, they better fix it before I get there.
Stranger: What about Oreos?
You: ah, the classic
You: still around, although a slight change in form
You: theyre a small chewy tablet that you take, and then have the sensation of eating an oreo
Stranger: Damn, I really despise them! Isn’t it possible to transform them into lethal poison..?
You: ah, well, the second ingredient in oreos is now a slightly less harmfull form of cyanide
You: and they are only available by perscription
Stranger: Heh. I’m really starting to like you.
You: why, thank you
You: you aren’t so bad yourself
You: much better than the other vapid, brainless earthlings i’ve conversed with earlier today
You: you can actually hold a conversation
Stranger: Well.. I score in the 98th percentile. I suspect that’s good enough to type a few sentences AND peel a banana within a limited time of say.. an hour. ,)
You: hmm
You: i agree
You: you’re credentials are not to shabby
Stranger: many spanks indeed.
You: you are quite welcome
You: one thing that does dissappoint me about humans in the past is their lack of understanding for sarcas,
You: sarcasm*
Stranger: Oh, tell me ALL about it.
You: at least in the future, more subtle humour is appreciated
Stranger: what’s your take on Izzard? He’s still in the game? I rather like his educating efforts.
You: alas, he is not
Stranger: Too bad. Too bad..
You: seeing as you are currently existing in the 21st century, you may have heard of my favorite anchient “web comic” (i believe that is what they used to call them)
Stranger: try me
You: it pleased me very much to find the website during my journey here: http://www.xkcd.com
Stranger: oh, oh yes!
You: you have?
You: a fellow fan!
Stranger: this is my fav: http://www.xkcd.com/162/
You: ah, that is a good one
You: http://www.xkcd.com/72/
You: that is my favorite
Stranger: Have you heard of one of MY darling web comics; http://www.explosm.net/comics/1471/ ?
You: ahh yes, cyanide and happiness, a classic
Stranger: Haha, that one was SO fun!
You: very
You: my sentiments exactly
You: alas, friendly earthling, i must depart
Stranger: Me too.
You: you have been an enjoyment to converse with
Stranger: I have not learned how to teleport yet, so I guess it’s bedtime..
Stranger: The pleasure is mine, entirely.
You: aha, teleportation is a very complex skill
You: well, ill let you sleep
You: it is many centuries before sleep will no longer be necessary
You: good bye, human of the past!
You have disconnected.
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“Stranger: do you have easter in canada?
You: yes that too. Quebec has a very strong religious (catholic) background, that pretty much came crashing down in the 1950s to 1970s, but we’ve kept the holidays…
Stranger: oh
Your conversational partner has disconnected.”
Now that was funny. Or closeminded.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Hello
Stranger: where u from ?
You: The internet
You: You?
Stranger: oh, you are a nerd ?
You: No
You: I am a turd.
Stranger: dont lie my friend!
Stranger: whats a turd
Stranger: i hate turds
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Anybody want to speculate on the number of pairs of people who know each other and have spoken to each other by coincidence on Omegle…
I have my own idea but I need to know how long it has been up for (in fact, I need to know the number of users on it as a function of the number of days since it started…)
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You: I’m here from the future to give you this message!
Stranger: what message?
You: John, the robots are going to strike at the dance competition this Saturday.
You: They have liquid metal robots and they’re going to server you.
You: Yes, Server.
Stranger: holyfuckingjesus
You: You need to find a way to beat them John.
You: The fate of the world depends on it!
Stranger: how the hell are we gonna stop these motherfuckers
You: I don’t know… do you have Summer Glau?
Stranger: of course….
You: Well then I guess you’ll be ok.
You: Make us Proud John!
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I convinced a guy in DC I was a highly articulate rapper from Nebraska named, “Country Grammar”. This followed without prompting:
You: It’s the best place to be a rapper, dude. For real.
You: It’s so quiet. All you do is think.
Stranger: hahahah yah but rappers come from the streets where all this killing and bullshit stupid shit happen
Stranger: u cna’t rap about shit if u haven’t seen shit
You: Oh, I’ve seen shit, dude.
You: My REAL dad got fuckin’ trampled by a cow.
Stranger: and died?
You: Yeah, man.
Stranger: im sorry bro
You: It’s cool.
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Anyone want to hazard a guess as to how long it will be before we get the first Omegle marriage??
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: thank you for calling, my name is Steve. How may I help you?
Stranger: you cant
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You: hi
Stranger: God?
You: Yes, my child, speak with me.
Stranger: I’M AN ATHEIST. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?
You: Look, I told you people to stop coming to my door! I have a lot of shit to do! Didn’t you take anything from Sodom and Gamorrah?
You: God damn door to door salesmen.
You have disconnected.
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I used Omegle once. The conversation went downhill rapidly. I might try it again some time.
http://omegle.com/
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello!
You: Hello?
You: So, name a country.
Stranger: Canada
Stranger: name a knife
You: My brother’s in Cabada.
You: Or Canada, even.
You: I hate this computer. Sticky keyboard.
Stranger: ewwwww
Stranger: you’re sick
Stranger: cum?
You: On my own laptop, perhaps, but this is a work computer.
Stranger: your bosses cum?
Stranger: taste it
You: Now who’s sick?
Stranger: depends if you actually do it or not 😛
You: What if I don’t, but say I do?
Stranger: I’ll find out
Stranger: I’m always watching
You: Don’t you have better things to be doing with your time than hanging around sites like this?
Stranger: kind of like jesus, but with a knife
Stranger: no, I’m a retired pedo
You: Ah, obviously not.
Stranger: this is my idea of fun!
Stranger: but you’re a bit old
You: I’m 25.
You: I was having a discussion about Jesus with a friend yesterday.
Stranger: really?
Stranger: hows jesus going?
You: He belongs to a religion I’ve recently left.
Stranger: ahhh, I heard that guy got hammered
You: We decided there was no good reason to believe Jesus existed.
You: But he was going to stick with the religion anyway.
You: I don’t understand some people.
You: Nah. It was John who got hammered?
You: Ever read the Book of Revelation at the end of the Bible. I say the guy was on magic mushrooms.
Stranger: well did didn’t the romans nail jesus?
You: You tell me,
Stranger: no!
You: you’re the one who brought Jesus into the conversation.
You: And we were getting on so well before you mentioned him!
Stranger: really? I hated you from the start
Stranger: I don’t even like you
You: So, let’s talk about porn. Far more interesting than Jesus.
Stranger: jesus porn?
Stranger: jesus did anal you know
You: With the Magdalene?
You: Or with Judas?
Stranger: both, at the same time
Stranger: jesus was a whore
You: Interesting.
Stranger: yes
Stranger: but you’re boring
You: I’ve read descriptions of guys taking two penises at once, but I’ve never seen it done.
Stranger: nope, that’s just a rumour
Stranger: they can take two knives though
You: Of course, it is possible to take a penis in each end at the same time.
Stranger: no, just knives
You: I’m not sure which of us has a dirtier mind.
Stranger: not me, I’m a nun
You: Blue nun?
Stranger: nope, but I’ve got a bad habbit
You: While I’m an ex-JW gay virgin atheist.
You: It’s the ex-JW bit that’s annoying.
You: Believe it or not. I’m telling the truth. Put it down to a lack of imagination.
Stranger: wow, that’s unimaginative
You: Now you’re boring.
Stranger: boring yo momma!
Stranger: BAM!
You: Nah. Still not impressed.
Stranger: fine
Stranger: die?
Stranger: are you dead?
Stranger: can I have your computer?
Stranger: ooh, and your liver?
Stranger: I only need one kidney though
You: Yup. I’m dead now.
You: Thanks.
You: Ever talked to a zombie before?
Stranger: good
Stranger: laaaaa
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: cock loving whore
You: You: You are through to the complaints department. How may I help you
You: Ah. Grammar.
You: cock-loving should be hyphenated.
You: Anything else I can help you with?
Stranger: lmao this is the internet buddy dont expect good grammar
You: I come from h2g2.com
You: Our grammar is impeccable.
You: Though our spelling often leaves something to be desired.
Stranger: ok so how about you tell me what h2g2 is?
You: A Guide to Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Stranger: sounds like a cult
You: Older than Wikipedia, and with a far better community spirit.
You: Based on the novels of our supreme leader, Douglas Noel Adams.
Stranger: do you sacrafice little girls to your demon savior
You: Not as a matter of course, no.
You: But accidents will happen in the best-regulated cults.
Stranger: lol your silly
You: I try my best.
Stranger: ok so whos Douglas Noel Adams
You: An author.
You: Hang on a moment.
You: h2g2.com/A3790659
Stranger: ok thx for the info but i g2g
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
A pity. I was just going to get weird on the her when she went.
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Cute idea, but it will soon be ruined for serious people.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: wazz upp?
You: not much, just trolling on Omegle
Stranger: same here.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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oh man that sucks. connection imploded just when the conversation was interesting.
and i never got to find out if he ate that soup and sandwich. damn.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
You: may i ask you a swift question?
Stranger: yes
You: do you know of any good technique for corpse disposal?
Stranger: hm yes i do
You: i have plenty here, and i don’t like to just hide them lying under the dirt in my backyard
Stranger: just wait a sec i take my diary
You: kk thanks
Stranger: you could dissolve them in the acid
You: haven’t got enough for all of them
You: anything else?
You: 33 corpse total
You: and a medim-sized dog
Stranger: cut the others in little pieces
Stranger: were them your friends?
You: only 2 of them
Stranger: you shouldn’t have killed the dog
Stranger: you could made him eat the pieces
You: heh, he jumped right in front of me
You: couldn’t help it
Stranger: that’s bad
You: oh right, there’s a dog pound a mile away
Stranger: yeah catch that dog
You: okay, thanks for the help
You have disconnected.
best one in years
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here’s one of the best ones i’ve had so far:
You: hi!
Stranger: hi!
You: I’m a pink bunny!
Stranger: wowza
You: u
Stranger: im ur secret loverr
You: o rly
Stranger: ya rly
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I have come up with a new game: Finding the oddest, single sentence phrase that ensures that your chat partner will disconnect instantly. The only rule is that it must be coherent, and not force the disconnection simply because the person on the other side is simply annoyed (ie – typing “jaijgiwgawkjahgsj<aj<gsjkhgasgh”) or just ignorant (speaking another language).
Examples: “Have you heard the good news?” *Your conversational partner has disconnected.*
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You: hows it hanging
Stranger: quite low
Stranger: I think i need a labia plasty
Stranger: my bf says it’s too flabby
You: fair enough
You: i wish i could say it was hanging low
You: apparently the grass is always greener on the other side
Stranger: ah.
You have disconnected.
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I’ve taken to the practice of opening two chat windows and just pasting the replies of one into the other, and then pasting goatse links to the last person in the conversation.
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This is totally like a turing test.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if a few times they hook you up with Alice or the Emacs psychiatrist?
I wonder how long it will take most people to notice that you’re not human. In fact it would be cool to try writing a script to make up a conversation
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Here is a conversation with M-x doctor:
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: How do you do? What brings you to see me?
Stranger: hold on…
You: Why do you say hold on?
Stranger: hey
Stranger: i say it cause i had to go get some food
You: Can you elaborate on that?
Stranger: i was at my computer
Stranger: i wanted food
You: You have your mind on computers, it seems.
Stranger: so i told you to hold on, meaning wait a second, while i got some chips
You: What happened when you got some chips?
Stranger: i walked down some stairs
You: Maybe your plans have something to do with this.
Stranger: i walked about 15 steps, opened the door to my food cabinet, and got chips, walked back to mhy computer and im hear
Stranger: and plans?
Stranger: something to do with this?
You: You think too much about computers.
Stranger: i do?
Stranger: well im taliing to you on one
Stranger: talking*
You: Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are going through all this?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: u hae me pegged
You: I see… Well, do you really think this is so?
Stranger: i was peer pressured into going on this computer
Stranger: and now im hooked
Stranger: and no
Stranger: i dont really think so…
You: Is it because of problems at school that you say and now you are hooked?
Stranger: no
Stranger: i like school
You: Why not?
You: What makes you like school?
Stranger: well im a senior at an art school
You: Tell me about your school.
Stranger: my art diccipline is writing
Stranger: discipline*
You: How do you reconcile any hobbies you have?
Stranger: my hobby is writing
…
At this point, M-x doctor started to show up with weird stuff like:
Earlier you said you love every day?
We were discussing you!
Perhaps this has something to do with hangups you have?
I don’t understand.
You mentioned that you love every day?
I decided to take over the conversation which was actually going reasonably well– but it was cool how far it got.
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4chan anyone?
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hah:
http://www.google.com/trends?q=omegle
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I continue to be amazed at the number of people who react to an artful insertion of “/b/” in the right places.
There are a LOT of 4chan trolls in this world. And surprisingly few of them will admit to being /b/tards.
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“I have come up with a new game: Finding the oddest, single sentence phrase that ensures that your chat partner will disconnect instantly. The only rule is that it must be coherent, and not force the disconnection simply because the person on the other side is simply annoyed (ie – typing ?jaijgiwgawkjahgsj<aj<gsjkhgasgh?) or just ignorant (speaking another language).
Examples: ?Have you heard the good news?? *Your conversational partner has disconnected.*”
I find that “Have you heard the good news is quite effective, also:
“BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!” works quite well while “ALL IS DUST!” usually leads to an “ok” or “all is earth”. Gonna try more random warhammer quotes tonight ^^
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The Fight Club reference is awesome.
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{ Stranger: EU TE AMO !
You: Si, te amo!
Stranger: MESMO ? –
You: As per the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis!
Stranger: WTF
Your conversational partner has disconnected. }
“Eu te amo” is Portuguese, it means “I love you”. “Mesmo” literally means “same”. Basically, “I love you, do you love me?”
reCaptcha: first confused
It said that was wrong for some reason. Then: $116 impet
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You: sup dawg i herd u liek Omegle, so i’m here on omegle, so we can chat while we chat
Stranger: whoa
You: orly?
Stranger: orly
You: i accidentally omegle
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
perhaps the meme density was too high for him?
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello, customer services. How can I help?
Stranger: hello
Stranger: it appears my pants are on fire
Stranger: can you help me
You: Hmm..
You: Let me see..
You: One minute, sir.
Stranger: plz hurry
You: Have you tried applying water?
Stranger: um
Stranger: yes
You: I see.
Stranger: it didn’t work
You: Try switching them off and on again.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: ok
Stranger: that didn’t work
Stranger: now my hand is on fire also
You: Alright. One moment, I’ll have to get my supervisor.
You: He suggests you roll on the floor.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: one second
You: Take your time.
Stranger: *rofl*
Stranger: *rofl*
Stranger: ok
Stranger: that didn’t work either
You: Oh dear.
Stranger: now the floor is on fire
Stranger: thank god i am using bluetooth
You: Try hitting the fire.
Stranger: but my hand is already on fire
Stranger: it kinda tingles
You: Do you have a blunt instrument nearby?
Stranger: yes
You: Well, hit the fire with that.
Stranger: oh wait
Stranger: its just a normal blunt
Stranger: excue me
Stranger: whoa
Stranger: i am so totally smashed
You: Really, sir?
Stranger: why is the floor moving??!?!?!
Stranger: the floor is moving!!!!
You: The floor is not moving, sir, it is burning.
Stranger: oh
Stranger: the mushroom men
Stranger: they are coming for me
You: Well, I would suggest you contact the fire department.
You: And the police.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: 119
Stranger: 119
Stranger: fuck
You: I think you spelt it wrong, sir.
You: Try “911”
Stranger: dislexia you damn
You: Or “999”
You: Or “000”
You: It really depends on where you live.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: help
Stranger: the mushroom men are coming
You: This is way over my head.
Stranger: and thats what she said
You: Pow!
Stranger: blamo!
You: Zing!
Stranger: Kablooey!
You: Wait, that was probably something exploding, you should probably do something about that fire.
Stranger: Wank!
Stranger: oh
Stranger: that won’t help
You: You are fucked frankly, so go ahead.
You have disconnected.
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anonKat-
No, I didn’t get to eat my soup and sandwich. I was busy thinking of ways to find you and skipped lunch altogether.
I suppose it should have occurred to me to look here first.
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“I have come up with a new game: Finding the oddest, single sentence phrase that ensures that your chat partner will disconnect instantly. The only rule is that it must be coherent, and not force the disconnection simply because the person on the other side is simply annoyed (ie – typing “jaijgiwgawkjahgsj<aj<gsjkhgasgh”) or just ignorant (speaking another language).”
By FAR the most effective one I’ve found so far has been “Who are the Patriots?” I’d say 90% of the time, it’s an instant disconnect, and the other 10% it’s something along the lines of “lol i dunno.”
(Sadly, no one has gotten the question right yet.)
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anonKat-
Part 2.
In my attempt to find you, I posted a missed con in your city’s CL. Reply back with what you had for lunch, the sport you play, where you went to University, and what the acronym stands for.
Games, games.
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For lack of any creativity I have myself, I tried “Who are the Patriots?” I only had two disconnects before someone responded.
You: Who are the Patriots?
Stranger: they could be the football team from the united states.
Then I tried another, who responded with “dunno.” We’re two for two now. And a third: “a football team?”
I’m still trying to come up with something that at least has a higher success rate. I like this game.
I’m thinking maybe advertising something would make people disconnect pretty quickly. I’m gonna keep working on it.
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I will give you a 10% off Pizza Hut coupon if you complete this brief 20 minute survey.
was getting good results for me
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My game is to try to tell a shaggy dog joke. Mine is about two horses, Mutt and Jeff, who race several times, Jeff always losing to Mutt. Jeff constantly asks Mutt to let him win just once, Mutt agrees but always wins anyway. It ends when they’re old and dying, and they have their last race. A dog scolds Mutt for lying to Jeff all the time, and Jeff says, “That’s stupid, dogs don’t talk.”
It’s a joke that I’ve been known to take 20 minutes telling, but so far I haven’t gotten anyone to listen past their first race.
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Re: Qris
I’ve always heard the punchline as “That’s weird, a talking dog.”
And the horse’s names were…something else, but I can’t remember anymore.
Hah, that’s a loooong joke. 🙂
Also, curse you, Randall. Now I have a new addiction!
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: Whaddya buyin’?
You: nothin
Stranger: Oh…why did you come to me to purchase goods then?
You: no i didnt
Stranger: Yes you did. You are standing in my office now
You: no im not
Stranger: Yes, you are
You: no i am not
Stranger: Can you prove it?
You: yes im not in your office
Stranger: I’m afraid that is not proof
Stranger: You are in m office
You: you r in my office
Stranger: No I am not, I own this vicinity
You: i have the deed
You: so i own it
Stranger: I have your mum
You: no you dont
Stranger: Prove it
You: get out of my office
Stranger: You’re in my office
You: you are fired
You: and its my office
Stranger: You are not Sir Alan Sugar
Stranger: This is my office
Stranger: I own it
You: no i do
You: and are you knighted
Stranger: Yes
Stranger: I am a knight
Stranger: Sir Lancelot
You: i am napoleon
Stranger: Napoleon is DEAD!
You: no i am napoleon
Stranger: Are you dead?
You: no im undead
Stranger: That means you are alive…interesting
You: no alive != undead
You: alive -> dead -> undead
Stranger: My point exactly
Stranger: I see
Stranger: So you are a zombie?
You: and i have never been in your office
Stranger: You are currently in my office
You: no i really am not
Stranger: You are
You: where is your office
You: i dont know where it is
Stranger: Here
You: i am not there i am here
Stranger: You are in it
You: prove it
Stranger: Yes, here in my office
Stranger: I asked you to prove otherwise, and you have failed to do so
You: prove i am in your officce
Stranger: I asked you first, teherfore it’s right that you act first
Stranger: therefore*
You: you havent proved i am in your office
Stranger: I know, but I asked for proof first
You: i am not in your office because im in my apartment
Stranger: Your appartmet is my office. There is your proof taht you are in my office.
You: that makes no sense
Stranger: It makes perfect sense
You: how
Stranger: You in ‘your’ appartment
You: im in michigan
Stranger: Your appartment is my office
You: you are not in michigan
Stranger: You have admitted you are in your appartment
Stranger: Therefore you are in my office
You: you are an idiot
Stranger: Thank you
Stranger: Have a nice day sir. Please leave my office
You: get out of my apartment
Stranger: I’m not in your appartment. I’m standing just outside of my office
You: -locks ur office door-
Stranger: 😦
You: now its mine
Stranger: Now you are stuck in my office!
You: locks inside
Stranger: FINE!
Stranger: HAVE IT!
Stranger: GOODBYE¬
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Holy crap cats Randall. I went on Omegle for fun the other day and I found out through some crazy shit my classmate in going to jail!
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I just used the site for the first time. Had an awesome 2-hour conversation with a girl from China. For the first fifteen minutes or so, it felt really weird, and I was constantly tempted to just hit the “Disconnect” button. But then I started enjoying myself. It was so difficult to actually end the conversation, but I need to sleep.
I will definitely be visiting Omegle in the future.
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“Hello! I am the omegle ChatBot.
There is an uneven number of users online.
You were referred to me.
How are you dear Sir?”
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heyy 🙂
You: hi
Stranger: what’s up
You: not much, i’m bored
Stranger: yeah. i wish i had a little kid to fool around with hehe
You: yea
You: i know where you could do that
Stranger: oh really now. where?
You: prison
You have disconnected.
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anonNeil
sorry for the delay in reply. it’s holy week, you know how our families are.
you should have had beef with broccoli like i did. it’s raining today but sadly, no soccer field on sight. i went to the uni along espana, you can look it up.
lots of love is epic still. say hi to her for me 😀
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I’ve been having quite a bit of luck with the opening “Where did the general keep his armies?”
Most people disconnect at that point, although I did have one who hung on:
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: where did the general keep his armies?
Stranger: idk
You: in his sleevies!
Stranger: o ha
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
God Bless the Internet!
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anonNeil-
Part 2
So I finally figured it out. I think I sent you an email (or at least I hope I did it right).
LOL?
haha.
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My favorite so far.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Are u Brazilian?
You: Que?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Here’s a nice one:
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Where did you bury the bodies?
Stranger: I burned them
You: good
You: most people disconnect when i ask them
Stranger: 🙂
Stranger: so, who did you kill? I don’t think I remember
You: me?
You: no!
You: you killed them
Stranger: really?
You: yes
Stranger: god I’m going crazy
Stranger: I really can’t remember what happend last night
Stranger: I was suddenly in a church and there was a big fire
Stranger: and I saw bodies
Stranger: but I killed no one
You: don’t lie, I saw you kill them
Stranger: who were it?
Stranger: the people I killed?
Stranger: were they christians?
You: Bill Gates and some other M$ people
You: don’t worry they deserved it
Stranger: oh 🙂 thanks for telling me
Stranger: that makes me feel a whole lot better
You: so, next it’s Steve Balmer
Stranger: hm
Stranger: where does he live?
You: I don’t know
You: i’m searching
Stranger: ok
You: you find a weapon
Stranger: I have a nice hammer to beat his bald head with
You: should work
Stranger: I guess so
You: here’s some info: http://virtualglobetrotting.com/map/22826/
Stranger: and if it doesn’t we can still burn him
Stranger: thanks
Stranger: I’ll see if I can go there next week. or is that too late?
You: it’s ok
Stranger: nice
You: after that we can steal a bomber and blow up M$ headquarters
Stranger: why not burn it? I like fire
You: if you can get out before the cops come
Stranger: I can, don’t worry
Stranger: I’ve done harder things, you know that
You: yes, of course
Stranger: so tell me, what have you been up to?
You: making viruses for Windows 7
Stranger: ah
Stranger: I expected something like that
Stranger: will they be better than the last time?
You: i’m working on one that destroys Windows and installs Linux
Stranger: great idea
You: I hope stupid PC users like Ubuntu
Stranger: they will have no choice
You: i’m still working on a way to replace the file system while the computer is running
Stranger: hm I’m sure you can figure it out
You: ok, call me when you kill him
Stranger: yea I will
Stranger: won’t you help me with it?
Stranger: I need someone to distract him
You: i’m in Europe, I can’t come
Stranger: I’m in europe too, but we can fly to the US next week
You: good. I’m in Bulgaria. You?
Stranger: I’m in sweden
Stranger: I’ll fly from stockholm next wednesday
Stranger: will you come with me?
You: ok. We meet in Washington on April 16th
Stranger: great
Stranger: see you then
Stranger: good luck
p.s. reCAPTCHA: Rent flames
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Holy craps! I just used it for the first time, and wound up in a conversation with some guy who actually wasn’t a jerk or anything.
I, an atheist living in southern USA, wound up in the first chat ever, with another atheist living in southern USA who is, like me, interested in foreign languages. We wound up exchanging IM profiles for later communication.
That just seems to defy all kinds of internet laws.
Which leads me to the concept: Perhaps you guys who are attempting to get a disconnect as fast as possible are putting off a few people who actually aren’t jerks or retards?
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