Since last night I’ve been obsessively connecting to Omegle.
It’s a simple site that just connects you to a random person, anonymously, for a conversation.
It feels like that scene in Fight Club where the narrator sits down next to Tyler on the plane. Two strangers meeting, laying out their personality and sizing each other up in just a few words, with no expectations, and — thanks to anonymity — no consequences.
Except in this case, a lot of the time Tyler just screams “COCKS”, punches the narrator, and jumps out of the window.
Still, it’s fun!
xkcd 
I did DOS prompts to some people.
You: Starting MS-DOS…
You: C: >
Only two people out of, what, 20, got that.
reCAPTCHA: was Komitato.
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Stranger: hi
You: Where?
Stranger: brazil
Stranger: n U?
You: US
Stranger: do u like to watch prison break?
You: No.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You:
Hi, I am…
(check all that apply)
[] …a troll.
[] …Brazillian.
[x] …a nerd.
[] …here for all the hot sex.
[x] …pretty boring, actually.
[] …none of the above.
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B3llit0: That’s brilliant, had me laughing out loud.
My first chat was with a nice girl from Finland which lasted for a few hours. We swapped contact details about two minutes before the server decided to disconnected us.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: yeah baby it’s the new you, stiching up your style, but i’m not too concerned with fashion.
You: singer?
You: Marla?
Stranger: YES!
You: You are that little scratch on the top of my mouth, that if I could just stop tonguing it, would go away.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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10-Neon, you managed to dangled a carrot in front of my boredom’s nose. Here is the result:
From approximately 4000 users online (the number fluctuated) I performed 25 trials (I didn’t have time to do 64 to get a statistically meaningful sample!) and came up with the following responses:
[2] …a troll.
[2] …Brazillian.
[1] …a nerd.
[4] …here for all the hot sex. (this came up very early then I didn’t get any more responses of it!)
[4] …pretty boring, actually.
[4] …none of the above.
[5] …other (a response not accounted for, such as “a/s/l”, “COCKS!!!” or “basketball”
[7] …disconnected without response
Some of my more interesting exploits:
-Convinced someone I was from Uzbekistan (a country I selected randomly as I know little to nothing about it) and that it’s a very similar country to Brazil
-Tried to repeat this, got the response “twf [sic] is that”
-Talked to someone who talked to God (and got called a bastard by him)
-Got asked if I had “VGROOTZ”
-Got asked if I was “Helga” and “sokakoskoakoskoaskoa”
-Got told “Lemme just say, I’m excited to be here. It’s an honor for you to meet me. I’ve got a lot of characters I’m ready to bust out. I got a character named “Biscuit”, write that out. I got another character named “Rolando”, who is a two-foot-tall Spanish hustler. I got another character named “Ching Chong” who loves to play ping pong. I just made that up right now, ’cause that’s how I flow. Now, I’m up for anything”. This person then informed me that “Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.” and “the moon is a spy satellite put there by Oprah and Minister Farrakhan, and not the Minister Farrakhan you are thinking of.”
So there you go! If you’re one of the people I spoke to, congratulations on enlivening my day!
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Stranger: im into women’s feet
You: im into men’s fingernails
Stranger: marry me.
You: i do
i love this website 🙂
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i’ve been asking people for their secrets
i try to validate as best as possible:
girl has sex with math teacher in highschool
foot fetish for dads GF
made out with cousin
addicted to jacking off
i’m kind of turned on by the random person thing
i also DID get the same person twice. I’ve added her on aim.
thanks for this
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This is amazing. I’m pretty sure that this is the way of the future. I’ve met so many good people! An aspiring Irish artist, a 16-year-old Californian worried about college and their families, one lock pick obsessed Canadian, a Mexican civil engineer, and even one guy from Kuwait! I feel so connected to the world. After all of the spam and the trolls and the deprived men, there is a glimmer of humanity.
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@Cascade: Try it, it’s fun. One person replied with “cd windows” and then “del *.*”, another “format c:”. I forget what I said for the first, I did ‘WARNING! Formatting will erase all data on the disk. Are you sure? [Y/N]” for the second. A lot of them go “What?!” after the Starting MS-DOS message and the prompt. My response? “Bad command or filename.” and a new prompt.
I’ve also tried UNIX prompts, like root# and / root$ but nobody gets it yet. D:
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Has anyone else gotten connection imploded?
just wondering…
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I have discovered “Why don’t you love me anymore?” is the greatest conversation starter.
Stranger: evenin’.
You: Why don’t you love me anymore?
Stranger: Jesus Christ Martha, I walk through the door and this shit starts already?
You: It’s not my fault
You: it’s been the giant elephant in the room for too long
You: I can’t help it
Stranger: Yeah it fucking is. I work my dick off for too long every day to hear this at night
Stranger: Get me a beer.
You: Would you like a sandwich with that?
You: I can understand the occasional beatings
Stranger: How long have we been married?
Stranger: Of course I want a sandwich.
You: But cutting the brake lines in my car is a bit much
You: The usual sandwich?
Stranger: Put honey mustard on it.
You: Honey mustard on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?
You: I don’t even feel bad anymore
You: I want the divorce
You: What kid of person are you?
Stranger: Don’t fucking question me. I like honey musta –
Stranger: WHAT
You: You knew it was coming
Stranger: :SMACK:
Stranger: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
You: I go to work for 8 hours a day, make you dinner, clean the house and take care of the kids
You: what do you do?
Stranger: I PUT 9 HOURS IN A DAY SO YOU CAN SIT ON YOUR ASS WATCHING SOAPS, AND ALL I WANT IS A SANDWICH, A BEER AND A GOOD FUCK WHEN I GET HOME
You: nothing
Stranger: You haven’t worked since the accident!
You: That was no accident
Stranger: ….what?
You: Aluminum bats don’t go around flying randomly
You: If you laid off the bottle I wouldn’t be paralyzed
Stranger: Are you saying…I did this to you?
You: And maybe I’d be a little more willing to help you out
You: And sitting on my ass?
You: Cheap shot
You: I don’t like the wheel chair either
Stranger: I wasn’t the one to hurt you..
You: Are you sure?
You: Because he looked an awful lot like you
Stranger: What are you saying..
You: And had the same birthmark on his inner right thigh
Stranger: But I drove you to the hospital..
You: NO you didn’t
You: You ran off
Stranger: I remember that night…I was at the pub
Stranger: And I found you, and drove you
You: Shouting maniacally “That’s what you get for not marrying me”
You: Oh.
You: Wait
Stranger: And…and you were hurt…
Stranger: What?
Stranger: No..
You: My husband wouldn’t say something like that
You: Because I did marry you
Stranger: And I thought you were happy with that.
You: Do you have a twin?
Stranger: Yes..
Stranger: But he hasn’t been in contact with me in years.
You: Why didn’t this ever come up in conversation?
You: It’s something pretty big to talk about
Stranger: It hurts too much..
Stranger: He..killed my mother..
Stranger: :tear:
You: I thought your mother was killed by sharks while snorkeling in the ocean
Stranger: No…He was dressed as a shark for Halloween…the papers covered it up
You: That’s awful
Stranger: After that, he swam away, and I havent seen him since.
You: So much is starting to make sense now
Stranger: He can’t be back..
Stranger: I swear I never hit you with that bat, Martha.
You: That’s good to hear Horace
Stranger: I…I love you, Martha.
You: I love you too Horace
Stranger: :shoots self in head:
Captcha: picket Montana
What did Montana do?
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I had a detailed conversation with a person claiming to be my own penis who advised me to seek further answers from a Canadian lumberjack.
I’m pretty sure it was daniel, 5 posts up.
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You: hi
Stranger: http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y144/switchride/0313091546.jpg
You: noooooo
You: why should i click that?
Stranger: It’s a frog!
You: or go to it?
You: no.
Stranger: With a hat!
You: no.
You: fuck if i get rickroll’d
Stranger: Who the fuck are you, Awesomesaucesome?
You: your fucking neighbor!
Stranger: …
Stranger: Oh
Stranger: Wait!
Stranger: Which one?
You: your gulible one.
Stranger: Oh
Stranger: You must be little Angela, then
Stranger: She’s like 10 or some shit
You: no I’m kidding.
Stranger: I’m sure she’s gullible
Stranger: …
You: i don’t even know where you live…
Stranger: THIS HAS LEFT ME IN DESPAIR
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Stranger: Yo
You: hello
Stranger: hows it going
You: pretty good, yourself?
Stranger: same
Stranger: ASL?
You: 103/m/poland
You: you?
Stranger: REALLY?
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Stranger: do you find these conversations get boring really fast
You: Eh
You: Sometimes
You: I’ve had some really good ones
You: But some of the best happened while I was using the AIMBot, and it went down 😦
Stranger: I had like an hourlong discussion yesterday with a philosophy major about christianity
Stranger: man. just saying that makes me feel like I should get out more
Stranger: I think im going to go do that
Stranger: bye
Stranger: haha
Your conversational partner has disconnected
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Stranger: so.. age? gender? location? 😛
You: the old asl, eh? 23, m, xkcd
Stranger: xkcd? what?
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You: You know, I’m so frustrated with the internet.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: why?
You: The vast, impersonal space, makes it feel like everyone else isn’t real,
So everyone feels like it’s okay to just leave without saying a word!
You: You know what I mean?
You: Don’t you ever just want a real conversation?
Stranger: yeah, sometimes
You: Well, I gotta go. Later!
You have disconnected.
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it sucks to speak Portuguese online. I’m Brazilian, but I prefer to speak English. I hate to see people writing k instead of c in every word. they puke the language through the keyboards.
I met a nice girl from Poland, it seems.
I tried the “never saw a finger fing” conversation, nobody got interested. Then I searched finger in the Online Etymology Dictionary. Very strange. The word has no cognates in IE languages outside Germanic! it’s a little mystery. It may be connected to PIE *pengke that gave Greek pente and English five.
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Lmao.
This stuff is great.
The only weirdness comes from being a old-/b/tard and running into anon.
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: /b/
You: /b/.
Stranger: Well
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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I’ve got prolly one of the best stories regarding Omegle (though, I must admit I haven’t read all of the comments): I met a fellow xkcd reader on here, we had a long excellent conversation, and we’ve exchanged email addresses in hopes of future conversations. The chat (in part):
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: word to the playa
Stranger: how’s it going?
You: good, how about you?
Stranger: pretty good.
Stranger: can I ask you a question? err. a more personal one than that?
You: sure
You: heck, we don’t know each other, I don’t have much to lose
Stranger: are you a nerdfighter?
Stranger: sorry. too much build up?
You: lol, nope and nope, but I’m familar with them
Stranger: ok. you are not responding
Stranger: ooh! impressive
Stranger: that makes me kinda happy.
You: my sister’s really into the vlog brothers
Stranger: wow!
You: heh
Stranger: you are the first person who knows what I am talking about
You: I’m well connected on the interwebs
Stranger: good for you.
Stranger: I approve of this conversation so much.
Stranger: where did you hear about Omegle?
You: xkcd and zefrank
Stranger: oh. both of them?
Stranger: how long ago?
You: I think so
You: yesterday
You: this site hasn’t even been up for long
Stranger: shoot. I need to catch up
Stranger: it’s true
You: hehe
You: you keep up with xkcd, zefrank, or both?
Stranger: both, actually
Stranger: Ze is great. Sports Racers racin’ sports!
You: wow
You: lol
Stranger: do you watch WheezyWaiter?
You: nope =/
Stranger: he’s the next best thing, since Ze is done.
Stranger: in my humble opinion
You: yeah, I miss his videos
You: even though they ended years ago now
Stranger: it’s true. uhh.. 3 years ago this past month
You: wow, it doesn’t seem that long
Stranger: I know, crazy times
You: this is amazing. We’re on omegle talking about xkcd and zefrank. I feel hip, or something :-p
Stranger: ha ha ha ha
Stranger: it’s true
Stranger: xkcd is the best
Stranger: he is one of only two webcomics I keep up with
Stranger: (and maybe A Softer World, I haven’t decided on that one)
You: I sorta keep up with questionable content, but it was really only good going through them all at once
Stranger: oh man. yeah. going through all at once was better with QC I think
Stranger: and the characters are drawn much better now!
Stranger: and … lots of development
You: yeah!
Stranger: I feel kinda proud of Jeph
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so I tried it out…. after about 8 brief convos i had this gem:
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hello
Stranger: hey
You: so , ive been insulted in several ways in the last few mnutes, you?
Stranger: yeah pretty much the same
You: btw, im findng it pretty entertaining
Stranger: yeah, me too lol
You: quick sample
You: THEM: do you have a dick? ME: um…..yes, why? THEM: go fuck yourself wth it.
Stranger: rofl
Stranger: oh the things that people will say when they cant see your face
You: its really funny in a perverse kind of way
Stranger: its the whole stranger factor
Stranger: say anything to anyone with no consequences
You: yeah, look at some of the more popular forums… fark, atom, 4chan, xkcd, etc
Stranger: im not too familiar with any of those
You: i dont care how bg and bad you are you wont walk up to a stranger and say “go fuck yourself”. there is always the guy that is badder than you are
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: here you have no reservations
You: ok, fark.com (worth looking at (alot of news agencies get thier fluff pieces there).
You: the others are pure entertainment
You: oh, and go fuck yourself
Stranger: interesting
Stranger: thanks!
You have disconnected.
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So, I’ve never commented here before, but I had a moment that I think everyone here would appreciate..
Considering I read just about all of the comments on this post, I should’ve anticipated the outcome, but I walked right into it…
You: hi?
Stranger: hi
Stranger: when i tell people im a guy, they disconnect
You: lol..then don’t tell them?
Stranger: good idea
You: I just had the greatest urge to disconnect, just to be ironic..
Stranger: hahaha that would have been hilarious
Stranger: are you a guy or girl?
You: I’m a guy actually
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Classic, no?
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Fun thing to try…talk to people as ELIZA (I used the URL http://www.chayden.net/eliza/Eliza.html). Got one interesting conversation once they realized I was a bot and I actually started talking to them, and a few that actually interacted interestingly with ELIZA for a while before realizing the conversation was completely circular.
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I just had a great conversation with a guy name Paul. The majority of it was in haiku. Great times. Example.
Stranger: “I’m at Stanford now
Stranger: But I spent time in the south
Stranger: William & Mary”
You: “I’m at Furman now
You: Bitchin school list you have, sir
You: Hope to do so well”
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I just had an interesting conversation about music tastes with someone who was learning Gaellic. Intreguing no?
Captcha: Gradually Madam
Oh wow…
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Kaotik4266…that guy was quoting 30 Rock. Tracy Morgan.
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This website is sort of fun, if you think getting sexually harrassed by someone you don’t know is fun.
Maybe I’ll have more luck tomorrow.
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Hahahahha, I just tried it out:
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: japanese vegetable side dish?
You: only if its served cold
Stranger: ok recipe?
Stranger: i need ideas
You: ah, well, I have none
You: gomen
Stranger: why cold? is it like kimchi
You: i was just being silly
You: i dont know anything about cooking
Stranger: do u cook any fools?
You: those foos had their cooking coming
Stranger: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kiri_sute_gomen
You: interesting
You: i didnt know about htat
You: that*
Stranger: a/s/l?
You: 1000/maybe/Earth
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Hahahaha!
captcha: Poppin Maxcy
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I thought you’d all get a kick out of this…
Stranger: hey there
You: http://xkcd.com/438/
Stranger: fuck u
Stranger: ass
Stranger: hole
Stranger: mother
You: dude
Stranger: fucker
Stranger: who says im a dood
Stranger: ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
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You: what does /b/ mean?
Stranger: you are a freak,aren’t you?
You: uhhh
You: no
You: i just don’t know what it means
Stranger: sorry, i cannot get you
You: i are not understand
Stranger: you are chinese, aren’t you ?
You: hahaha
You: no i wish
You: then i could pwn noobs
Stranger: pwn noobs ,can you explain>
You: wait, do you have a penis?
Stranger: if i am a boy ,yes ,i have one
You: then go fuck yourself with it
You have disconnected.
too good not to post
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well, I ended up having one rather rewarding conversation, which ended up just being some impromptu role-playing.
You: are there… oranges?
Stranger: it says 1976 on the corner sir
Stranger: we have successfully travelled back in time
You: then it is Venezuela!
Stranger: it is!! it is!! thank heavens bruce we’ve made it!!!!
You: Rhombus! Finally! I can die a happy Hippo!
Stranger: sir? sir? are you feeling well sir? i think you might need to lie down for just a moment, i shall try and hail down aid from the nearest town
You: yes, I suppose I shall lie down. You see a town in the distance, it is, North. There is a Cave, it is west.
Stranger: aye, the cave looks intimidating at best. I must head north, be weary sir, for the locals may not be as welcoming as we might expect
You: Indeed my good chap, take Crossbow
Stranger: thank you bruce, i shall return shortly
You: *whistles a happy tune*
Stranger: alas i have returned! and with a flagon of pure water, drink heartily bruce, we will continue onwards when you see fit
You: Thank you Mr. Felix, and none too soon. I feel greatly refreshed, let us continue with our mission.
Stranger: it enthralls me to know you are in able condition. I say, maybe the people in town are capable of providing us with assistance in the task of charting that cave
You: Then we must head down there and acquire a torch and a match, or we are likely to be eaten by a Grue. We must not enter the darkness.
Stranger: the man who provided me with water runs a general store, i am confident he has those materials in stock. our only defense against certain death shall be natures beacon
Stranger: onwards good sir, the trek shouldn’t take long
You: I shall follow you, however I need a slow pace my good man, I am still not quite at the top of my game.
Stranger: that is understandable sir, after the condition you were in upon landing. ah, we are almost there, just a little while longer
Stranger: there, i have spotted the general store man, let us browse his wares for the torch
You: aye, and supplies for our trek, also be sure to ask him where we might find lodgings for the night.
Stranger: He has informed me that, should we enter the cave, survival is not ensured, but if we do return, we are welcome to use his spare bedroom as refuge from the harsh venezuelan wilderness, he has also provided me with all of the necessary supplies for our venture, two torches, matches, bread and water. we are set, let us begin the journey
You: Well south and west it is then! Press on recklessly!
Stranger: without hesitation my good man
Stranger: ……………here we are, at the mouth of this vile vein of the mountain
You: Now, before we enter the cave we must both light our torches, be careful not to drop it either, we are only safe as long as we have light.
Stranger: the matches and oil are in my satchel, if one of us is to find out flam doused, i have on my person the materials to re-light said flame.
You: Then let us find what we need so that we can return to our own time.
Stranger: i could not have said it better myself bruce. take this flame, and stay close
You: I do not like the air in this cave Felix, it smells of death and decay.
Stranger: aye, it is unsettling indeed.
Stranger: do you spot that glimmer in the shadows bruce?
You: Aye, I think it is best to ignore it.
You: I think it wants us to fear it, but it fears our flames greatly
Stranger: agreed sir, it is best to not meddle with the unknown in a setting such as this
You: the area ahead seems to be flooded, I wonder if there is a way around, or if we will have to go back to town to procure a canoe, the water seems much to cold to swim
Stranger: between here and town i’m sure we would lose too much time , it would surely be too dark, and our purpose has no time for delays, but I will leave the decision up to whatever you deem fit for the situation sir.
You: we must seek an alternate route, lets go back to where the tunnel forked last.
Stranger: aye, if i remember correct there was one 30-some paces back
Stranger: sir do you remember where we turned last, this part of the tunnel does not seem familiar
You: I’m not quite certain, but believe we should turn right
Stranger: alas, there is that glimmer again, we should make haste sir, if we wish to find the device before we discover the limits of our torches
You: up ahead on that pedestal, is that it? Is that the so called ” Fertility Goddess” of the legend?
Stranger: aye! it is her sculpure, i’m sure of it! It bears exactl resemblance to the photo i was given back in our time!
You: the device must be hidden in there, grab the sculpture and follow me, I think I still know the way out!
Stranger: i spot that familiar glimmer, make haste bruce! for i wish to see the light of our time!
You: there, up ahead, that light… is it daylight? no.. it is far too red…
Stranger: my pocketwatch seems to me malfunctioning, otherwise i might be bale to confirm the time of day, mayhaps it is the sunset? no, there is no way, we have been in here too long.
You: we made it, we are outside, however the forest… it is on fire!
Stranger: oh heavens sir! we must hurry to the time machine! before the fire renders it unpilotable!
You: where is it Felix? I do not remember the landing, you remember how disoriented I was, you will need to take the lead
Stranger: as i recall it was on the outskirts of the forested area, closer to the shore line
Stranger: aye! i have spotted our vessel, quick! before the flames spread any further!
Stranger: take your seat bruce. we shall begin the time travel process back to our time now, have you secured the statue?
You: yes, we are good to go
Stranger: delightful, i’ll just set the knob here and *ZAP*
Stranger: this must be our time, ah yes, there is Dr. Flannigan
Stranger: Dr Flannigan: “where the fuck have you guys been and wheres my Dr. Pepper”
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Wow. I just pretended to be a Nigerian scammer, then played along as someone tried to scambait me for over an hour. Then I slipped out of character on the subject of sausage, and we went on to chat for a while longer. This is far too much fun.
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Some programming board at one of the *chans actually implemented this concept a year or so ago, but using a telnet client. Fun ahoy!
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Best conversation I’ve had yet.
You: Hello
Stranger: hi
You: Ever wonder why nobody makes the case for atheism (or religion) by invoking Occam’s Razor?
Stranger: Nope.
You: Well, that’s that.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Chatted with someone from Canada last night for about 1.5 hours and then got spontaneously disconnected. Was kinda fun. I’ll definitely be trying it again. I have to admit I was kinda sad to see them go…I’ll miss you Canadian biophysics person…
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Ah, what a charming stranger I met today. Such lovely compliments.
You: ^_________^
Stranger: -melts- Such beauty.
You: Oh, come now. You do flatter me so much. Continue.
Stranger: Your eyes are like pear trees on a Sunday morning, with Xorgon’s moon shining down on the pear cave. Your nose is like a fresh bucket of honey stolen from the hives of sea-bees. Your ears are like that of aliens from the planet Oooooooooooooooflan, the planet of attractive ears.
You: Such beautiful words. . you are a true poet. . I think I am the luckier than the starships of Orion, the carpet of a Carpeter on Mars, the true blue blossoms down below horizon valley. .
You: Catch me, for I am about to faint with wooness.
Stranger: -catches- Don’t fall, honey-nose. You will never fall when I am here.
You: *mumbles incoherently and spouts nose fluids in multiple directions*
Stranger: -catches all nose fluid in small nail varnish bottles- You are a gold mine.
You: Are you. . are you going to harvest me?
Stranger: Whenever you want, my delicious Flan-ear.
You: How can I ever repay you for such generosity, dear cake collector?
Stranger: Your mere presence is enough, cookie-fingers.
You: I need a cookie jar. My fingers are melting. Hurry!
Stranger: -produces a cookie jar from thin air- Here you go, my love.
You: Thankyou so much, I do apologise. It happens when I overheat.
You: Does anything like that happen to you?
Stranger: Yes, when I overheat my fingernails, toenails and irises turn pink.
You: How lovely. Mine have always been green. . Do they smell of mould to you?
Stranger: Yes, what a charming aroma
You: ^____________^
Stranger: There’s that beaver smile of yours, again. ❤
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I had a lot of fun warning people about raptor attacks. Met some interesting people too. If by some chance those interesting people happen upon this comment thread:
1) My sound card works perfectly.
2) I was off by 15 years on the translation date for the True History by Lucian of Samosata. The last translation I know of was done in 1905 by a pair of translators, H. W. Fowler and F. G. Fowler, whom I respect are related.
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soon on craigslist missed connections:
Me: Omegle You who said s’up
You: Omegle Stranger who said bite me
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I remember talking to a really nice person (he or she refused to tell me if he/she was a he or a she), about science, biology and Barbara McClintock before I accidentally disconnected. I’ll probably never talk to him/her again 😦
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I’m trying to find people who will play D&D over Omegle. Here’s the result of one attempt.
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: D&D?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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My first conversation, I was greeted with ASCII art of Pedobear.
Weird place.
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Took me nearly 6 or 7 tries to get a truly awesome conversation. Excerpt:
You: The entire science wing stuck to high heaven for two weeks.
Stranger: Or…did you mean ‘hog heaven’? xD
Stranger: Such a lame pun.
You: Haha!
You: I think all puns are at least a little lame.
You: But that’s what makes them fun.
Stranger: 🙂 Yes. They’re made of cheese. Every single one of them. Or in this case, bacon.
You: Or bacon cheese…
You: Ew,
Stranger: Bacon cheese. Used for making candles.
You: Candles?
Stranger: Gross. Although I had an experience today that could be likened to ‘bacon cheese’.
You: I didn’t think it was that waxy.
You: What happened?
Stranger: Well, with some glycerol, it could be done. Maybe. There’s probably some fundamental theorem of chemistry I’m missing here.
You: Chemistry… Bad times.
Stranger: Nothing much. I just made bacon. The aluminum foil didn’t hold, and it went all over the baking sheet. I left it there to congeal, and a few hours later I had a solid mass of white…stuff.
You: Ewww…
Stranger: Yes. Definitely.
You: Though it doesn’t sound much worse than the time we tried to boil bacon.
Stranger: Boil…bacon? xDD
You: It was the only way to cook it!
Stranger: What brought about this…peculiar circumstance?
You: No skillets or griddles.
Stranger: You could have draped it across the fan and made jerky :3
You: Heh.
You: So, we boiled it.
Stranger: Ah. In water? xD
You: What came out was chewy and tasteless.
You: What else would we have boiled it in?
Stranger: Well, you could have squeezed out the grease from the warmed slices and made a nice puddle on the bottle. And then you could have boiled it in its own fat.
Stranger: Theoretically.
You: Theoretically.
You: I’ll leave that for you to test.
Stranger: xD I’m more of a theory person.
reCaptcha: destined defendants
Some sort of legal romance novel maybe?
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: come with me if you want to live!
You: Okay! Where are we going?
Stranger: away from here!
Stranger: they are catching up
You: Why, what’s happening?
You: OH GOD!
You: I can’t run fast enough!
Stranger: This is no time for panic attacks, we got to keep cool heads
You: Okay, okay. Deep breaths. I’m just so scared!
Stranger: AAAAH, they’re coming!!!
Stranger: quick, grab the shotgun
You: AAAAHHHH! Okay, I’ve got it. You got that grenade?
Stranger: yep, and im gonna kill us both now. There is no escape
Stranger: we better accept it
You: What? I don’t accept my fate!
You: We need to fight!
Stranger: its no use
You: Damn it, don’t give up! I don’t want to die!
You: I’ll kill you before I let you kill me!
Stranger: But what the hell can we do?! They are everywhere!
You: I don’t know, I don’t know!
You: Fine. Do it. But it’s the coward’s way out
Stranger: I’ll sacrifice myself, and create a distraction. You go and save yourself
Stranger: its our only hope
You: I can’t let you do that!
You: I’ll always remember you…
You: You’re so brave. Thank you for saving me. Goodbye!…
Stranger: Thanks for everything. Here i go; TAKE THIS YOU UGLY SLIMEBALLS!!!!
You have disconnected.
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It took a lot of attempts before I got anything other than “male?” “yep” “*disconnect*”, but this made me laugh…
Stranger: FORD ESCORT
You: FIAT PUNTO
Stranger: I AM SLAIN
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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30 minutes ago I went to Omegle for the first time. I chatted up with the stranger. They liked “fotography” so I knew they were foreign. I explained that it was 80 degrees where I was and they explained that it was 3 where they were. They seemed so nice and I was so tired.
We chatted and became more intrigued with each other. And she just blurted out her email address. Her name was Eevi and she was Finnish.
As time went on, we exchanged more emails. She seemed bubbly, yet interesting.
And now we have 3 kids and live out on the suburbs of Turku. Thanks Omegle!
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: YO!
Stranger: hi there
You: Hello there! 🙂
Stranger: you like finger ?
You: Hows things?
You: I like toes more I’m afraid
Stranger: both well
Stranger: my toes are bad smelling things
You: Oh that sucks, maybe u should clean them and then they wont be bad smelling
Stranger: can bite my nails, if u like then..
You: What country do your toes rest in?
Stranger: netherfuck
You: Nah I’ll pass
Stranger: ok
You: Oh I love that country, lovely people there…. lovely toes too
Stranger: so i dont have to wash them :o)
Stranger: people are stupid around here
You: Of course u do… do u want bad smelling toes?
You: are they? do they only like fingers?
Stranger: most of them do, but a lot of sheeps don’t think..
You: really?! weirdos! did u hear cows fart a lot?
You: like reallll badd!
Stranger: those are smelly too
You: mmmm they are. worse than lamas
Stranger: i often slip with my wooden shoes over it..
You: ur clogs?
You: I wear metal ones, so beat that bitch
Stranger: but cows here are smarter then the people
You: Oh yeah? lamas here are smarter than the people
Stranger: where you from ?
You: leprachaunland
Stranger: oh yes, there every animal is smarter then the people
You: Yes of course! but dont get me started on the leprauchans and their pots of gold
You: little feckers
Stranger: are you cursed already ?
You: Not yet, the fairys are looking after me
Stranger: thx allah
You: thank buddah
Stranger: you like turtles too ?
You: I’d rather a tortoise
Stranger: ? do not know tortoise
You: Ok, serious question here! where are you really from? it’s buggin me! lol
Stranger: rather have a bitch my friend 😀
You: I’m not ur friend mofo
Stranger: ok you slut
Stranger: bye creep
You: slan
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Oh man… this was hilarious. My PacMan text adventure didn’t get too far though.
You: Welcome to Pacman text adventure!
You: There are four ghosts in a box.
You: You can move left or right.
You: For help, type “?”
You: A ghost exits the box.
You: He moves left.
You: The ghost comes down towards you.
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: “?”
You: He’s close…
Stranger: oh god
You: HELP MENU
Stranger: “?”
You: Type “left” to move left or “right” to move right.
You: One ghost is on the field.
Stranger: LEFT
You: If you need more help, see the 1980’s.
Stranger: are you crazy?
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You: Welcome to Pacman text adventure!
You: There are four ghosts in a box.
You: You can move left or right.
You: For help, type “?”
You: A ghost exits the box.
You: He moves left.
You: The ghost comes down towards you.
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: “?”
You: He’s close…
Stranger: oh god
You: HELP MENU
Stranger: “?”
You: Type “left” to move left or “right” to move right.
You: One ghost is on the field.
Stranger: LEFT
You: If you need more help, see the 1980’s.
Stranger: are you crazy?
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