Since last night I’ve been obsessively connecting to Omegle.
It’s a simple site that just connects you to a random person, anonymously, for a conversation.
It feels like that scene in Fight Club where the narrator sits down next to Tyler on the plane. Two strangers meeting, laying out their personality and sizing each other up in just a few words, with no expectations, and — thanks to anonymity — no consequences.
Except in this case, a lot of the time Tyler just screams “COCKS”, punches the narrator, and jumps out of the window.
Still, it’s fun!

Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: boy.cyber?
You: Greetings.
Stranger: no smarterchild you lose
You: Are you a cyborg then?
Stranger: cyberSEX
Stranger: dammit
Stranger: dimwitted
You: Welcome to our world!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
LikeLike
Stranger: Your are now aware that your index finger is too long.
You: No, I don’t think I am.
Stranger: You should not ask what you are, but WHEN you are.
Stranger: you’re gonna die, charlie
LikeLike
[…]
Stranger: i believe that it we find each other attractive it would be better
Stranger: more exciting i mean
You: that’s not what i’m looking for. goodbye.
LikeLike
It’s the new magic 8-ball!
LikeLike
Velociraptors, not Toronto Raptors.
In an effort to weed out horny Brazilians, I started with “You: Raptors: yes or no?”
We talked about sports. Turns out, they thought I was a guy (not) talking about the Toronto Raptors.
LikeLike
I start every conversation with “Randall?”, just in case I get lucky.
LikeLike
Yeah, it would be awesome getting hold of him, wouldn’t it?
LikeLike
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: hey
Stranger: my cat won’t shut up. it’s annoying.
You: what is your proximity to your cat so i can guess your intelligence?
Stranger: quite close. i’ll start yelling ‘you’re a kitty!’ any minute now.
LikeLike
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hmmm…
You: hi
Stranger: hmmmm… hello
Stranger: what are you thinking about?
You: do you exist, or are you simply a sophisticated bot written by omegle?
Stranger: does not compute, please try again.
You: is this entire website computerized?
Stranger: no I don’t want that salad
You: SALAD?
You: you say salad?
You: caesar or ranch?
Stranger: salad.
Stranger: ranch
You: that didn’t even make sense, one’s a salad, one’s a dressing
Stranger: thats what I meant.
You: yes
Stranger: I agree
You: salad. concur
Stranger: Yes
You: well, this is extremely deep and thoughtful
You: salad
Stranger: Thankyou
Stranger: How are you today?
You: indeed, I am well
Stranger: I am also
Stranger: How would you rate your experience on Omegle.com so far?
You: I KNEW IT
You: You ARE a bot!!!
You: survey = bot
You: lol
Stranger: Pardon?
You: well…
You: a 9?
You: out of 11?
You: or out of 12.5?
You: something like that
Stranger: Pardon?
Stranger: ur an idiot
well… that was interesting.
LikeLike
A compilation of sorts:
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: ever masturbated into a muffin?
You: only while skydiving
Stranger: that takes talent
You: talent of that sort i have aplenty
Stranger: hmmm…..
Stranger: david is the only i know with that talent
You: and he’d be alive if it weren’t for you!
Stranger: you shant be blaing me
Stranger: blaming*
Stranger: i tried to save him
Stranger: i tried giving him fresh clean needles
You: even though you know he only likes the dried out ones that get swept off the floor christmas
You: every christmas*
Stranger: well played sir
You: meh
You: it was a cheep shot
You: if you really want to see the big guns, consider this:
You:
??????????????. ???????????.,-~~????~~?,,_
????????????????.. ???????????.,-~?-,:::::::::::::::::::?-,
????????????????.. ?????????..,~?::::::::?,::::::: ::::::::::::?,
????????????????.. ?????????..|::::::,-~??___??~~?~??:}
????????????????.. ?????????..?|:::: : : : : : : : : : : : : :
????????????????.. ?????????..|:::: : :-~~?: : : ??: |
????????????????.. ?????????.(_?~-?: : : : : : : : :
????????????????.. ?????????..??~-,|: : : : : : ~??: : : :,??NEVER GONNA
????????????????.. ???????????|,: : : : : :-~~?: : ::/ ??GIVE YOU UP!
????????????????.. ?????????.,-?? :?~,,_: : : : : _,-?
????????????????.. ???????.__,-?;;;;;:?-,: : : :?~?~?/|
????????????????.. ????.__,-~?;;;;;;/;;;;;;;: : :____/: :?,__
????????????????.. .,-~~~??_;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;?,. .?-,:::::. . |;;;;?-,__
????????????????../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;. . .?|:::::::. .,?;;;;;;;;;;?-,
????????????????,? ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;. . .:::::,?. ./|;;;;;;;;;;;;;|
???????????????,-?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;?,: : __|. . .|;;;;;;;;;,?;;|
??????????????.,-?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;?,;;;;;;;;;;; . . |::. . .?,;;;;;;;;|;;/
??????????????/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;. .|::. . . |;;;;;;;;|/
?????????????./;;,-?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;; ;;;|. .:/. . . .|;;;;;;;;|
?????????????/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;?,: |;|. . . . ;;;;;;;|
????????????,~?;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;,-?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|.|;|. . . . .|;;;;;;;|
??????????..,~?;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;,-?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;?,;;;;;;| |. . . . |;;;;;;;|
??????????.,?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;/;;;,-?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;| |. . . .?|;;?,;;;;;|
??????????|;,-?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-?;;;,-?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;| |. . .,?;;;;;?,;;;;|_
??????????/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-?_;;;;;;,?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;; ;|.|. . .|;;;;;;;|;;;;|??~-,
?????????./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/_?,;;;,?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ,;;| |. . ./;;;;;;;;|;;;|;;;;;;|-,,__
????????../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-??|;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;| |._,-?;;;;;;;;;|;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;??-,_
????????/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-??.,?;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;|.|:::??~?~??||;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;,-~??~?,
???????.,?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,???/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;|.|::::::::::::;;;;;?,;;;;;;;;;?-,: : : : : :??~-,:??~~?,
???????/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-???,?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;|:::::::::::::?,;;;;;;|_??~?,,-~?,,___,-~~??__?~-
??????,-?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,???../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;|:::::::::::::;;;;;;|?????? ??-,_?-,?-,?~
??????/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/??.,-?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;|:::::::::::::;;;;;|?????. ????.._?
Stranger: oh thats win
You: i wish i could say i made it
Stranger: at least your honest to admit copypasta
You: but i didn’t (if that was your next question)
Stranger: no that wast
Stranger: asl was tho
You: i am a male, one and twenty years of age, and I hail from vermont.
Stranger: you sound like your from 1300’s england
Stranger: but i am also mail, 19 years old and hail from california
You: but alas, nobody from england in the 1300’s would be able to masturbate into a muffin while skydiving, nor would they ever admit to it
Stranger: too true
Stranger: but to hail, and be one and twenty years old they would be
You: Comrade, I need you to answer the following question as honestly as your psyche will allow:
Stranger: i am ready
You: Priates or Ninjas?
Stranger: pirates my dear friend
Stranger: i hail from next to the ocean
You: of course
Stranger: i know what a pirate must be capable of to survive in the tall waves of a stormy waves or the back streets of a slanderous port
Stranger: stormy sea*
You: aye, there be many a scurvy whench what frequent the ports of yon’ western coast
Stranger: aye laddy
Stranger: there be quite a few that ive had adventures with
Stranger: that are damn scurvy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
LikeLike
This was just too good.
You: howdy?
Stranger: Chuck Norris?
You: speaking.
Stranger: YES!
You: got anything you want to ask me?
Stranger: yes!
You: go ahead.
Stranger: hpw is Mike Huckabee doing?
You: not so well
Stranger: how*
You: but he’ll pull through
Stranger: AAAAAAHHHHH
You: get maybe second in 2012
Stranger: oh good
Stranger: yes!
LikeLike
So far I’ve had: one person who spoke only in Call of Duty 4 tournament jargon (unusual at least!), one nice young woman in Washington DC who was bored and filling out job applications (we talked for quite awhile about music and life and stuff), one Brazilian (we talked about Google translate and stuff for a bit), and one person who’s been using omegle for a week and finds it very addictive (we talked about stuff like what languages we program in, omg geeks).
LikeLike
I’ve had three good conversations. Two with people from Toronto, one with someone from Cleveland. Two or three other people were from Brazil and weren’t looking for my kind of talk. One was from the UK and disconnected on me. The search will continue, tomorrow night, or whenever I don’t have tons of work to do. This is a great tool for procrastination!
Also, captcha: domestic disclosure
LikeLike
I’m in NY, but somehow they thought i was from somewhere else… was about to give up the jig but they disconnected.. however, funny!
You: hello
Stranger: Edward??
You: IV, aye
Stranger: brazil?
You: nao
Stranger: finland?
You: soma!
Stranger: fuck
LikeLike
/b/ heaven!
LikeLike
Watch out for the 4chan people.
You: Hello
Stranger: hi
You: xkcd?
Stranger: what is that
You: I heard about this from xkcd.com, was wondering if you did too.
Stranger: no i did not
You: Ok then
You: Any good conversations so far?
Stranger: this is my first time here
You: So far I’ve talked politics with a Kiwi and an anarcho-capitalist, in between random sessions where people just cursed
Stranger: oh cool
Stranger: just a second i am watching a youtube video
You: What’s it about?
Stranger: ahh this isn’t fun
Stranger: that’s you
Stranger: Stranger: Hello
You: WHAT SITE ARE YOU FROM?
Stranger: xkcd?
You: lol awesome
Stranger: That was where I first heard of this, anyways.
You: i’m from 4chan
Stranger: Aha. The beginning and the end of the internet. Pleasure to meet you.
You: you the same now as a /b/tard i’m going to have to be a jackass now you understand?
Stranger: Kind of. As a qualified person, what is your opinion on Bawksy?
Stranger: Sorry, yes, you can be a jackass, I misread the question. Go ahead.
You: bawksy i think hes my bitch down on 32nd
You: o in that case
Stranger: Probably true. What do you think of Zalgo?
You: BITCH NIGGER CUNT FUCK ZACH BRAF TITY SHIT IN THE TOLIT DUMP
Stranger: now goodbye sir
LikeLike
3009 users online
the Funadvice Traffic Exchange
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: God?
You: open
Stranger: Closed
You: the father
Stranger: Son
You: jesus
You: buddha
Stranger: Christ
Stranger: Zen
You: peace
Stranger: Harmony
You: balance
Stranger: Contentment
You: light
Stranger: Dark
You: bright
Stranger: Dull
You: human
Stranger: Divine
You: source
Stranger: Spring
You: why
Stranger: How?
You: together
Stranger: Community
You: communism
You: communion
Stranger: Socialism
Stranger: Host
You: bread
Stranger: Butter
You: bread
Stranger: Water
You: bread
Stranger: Milk
You: honey
Stranger: Greek
You: yogurt
Stranger: Strawberries
You: mythos
Stranger: Science
You: mythos
Stranger: Mythology
You: sun
Stranger: Rain
You: burst
Stranger: Implode
You: blast
Stranger: Furnace
You: monk
Stranger: Temple
You: death
Stranger: Rebirth
You: plague
Stranger: Sickness
You: love
Stranger: Freya
You: bird
Stranger: Beast
You: language
Stranger: Thought
You: think
Stranger: Feel
You: emotion
Stranger: Happiness
You: smile
Stranger: Cry
You: laugh
Stranger: Live
You: tear
Stranger: Drink
You: gatorade
Stranger: Sweat
You: run
Stranger: Fall
You: slam
Stranger: Hard
You: farm
Stranger: Earth
You: 10
Stranger: 12
You: diciples
Stranger: 13
You: with jesus
Stranger: Home
You: google
Stranger: Search
You: wife
Stranger: Lover
You: lonely
Stranger: Engaged
You: sucks
Stranger: Blows
You: whale
Stranger: Moby Dick
You: book
Stranger: Literature
You: faucet
Stranger: Funnel
You: heat
Stranger: Cold
You: fire
Stranger: Ice
You: iran
Stranger: Iraq
You: missle
Stranger: Rocket
You: weapon
Stranger: Violent
You: peace
Stranger: Resolution
You: bread
Stranger: Butter
You: no
Stranger: Yes
You: sometimes
Stranger: Maybe
You: why?
Stranger: Why not?
You: because he was wounded
Stranger: Odin
You: so how?
Stranger: By a spear
You: from the hand of his brother
Stranger: For wisdom
You: of his father
You: disney
Stranger: Bambee
You: hannah barbera
Stranger: Harvey Birdman
You: sesame street
Stranger: Cookie Monster
You: yellow brick road
Stranger: Dark Side of the Moon
You: tea
Stranger: Coffee
You: ginger
Stranger: Redhair
You: tshirt
Stranger: Sweatshirt
You: cowlick
Stranger: Little Rascals
You: 1960 speedster
Stranger: Vespa
You: lotus
Stranger: Blossom
You: white
Stranger: Snow
You: yellow
Stranger: Gross
You: idea
Stranger: Wrong
You: answer
Stranger: Class
You: ification
Stranger: Strat
You: egy
Stranger: Sun Tzu
You: peace
Stranger: War
You: peace
Stranger: Turmoil
You: black
Stranger: Night
You: cover
Stranger: Bed
You: head
Stranger: Hair
You: pin
Stranger: Heart
You: break
Stranger: Loss
You: weight
Stranger: Gain
You: status
Stranger: Prestige
You: perception
Stranger: Art
You: communication
Stranger: Speach
You: therapist
Stranger: Psychology
You: major
Stranger: Minor
You: young
Stranger: Old
You: school
Stranger: University
You: of southern california
Stranger: Northern Michigan
You: is cold
Stranger: Refreshing
You: ly freezing
Stranger: Warm inside
You: burrito
Stranger: Taco
You: truck
Stranger: Fire
You: fly
Stranger: Serenity
You: calm
Stranger: Angry
You: sob
Stranger: Tired
You: awake
Stranger: Caffeine
You: tea
Stranger: Delicious
You: donut
Stranger: Dunkin’
You: america runs on
Stranger: gasoline
You: jelly
Stranger: Jell-o
You: assam
Stranger: Sam
You: ass
Stranger: Tits
You: accent
Stranger: áéíóúý
You: vowels
Stranger: Consonants
You: fibonacci
Stranger: Fiber
You: 1 2 3 5 8
Stranger: 5678567856785678
You: repitition
You: pattern
Stranger: Palahniuk
Stranger: Recognition
You: n/a
Stranger: Lost
You: i heart
Stranger: ai
You: green
Stranger: midori
You: lavender
Stranger: Jasmine
You: marigold
Stranger: Periwinkle
You: copper
Stranger: Bronze
You: russia
Stranger: USSR
You: osma
Stranger: Athsma
You: attack
Stranger: Fish
You: sticks
Stranger: Hertzfeldt
You: german
Stranger: Deutsch
You: narwols
Stranger: Whales
You: energy
Stranger: Fuel
You: unicorn
Stranger: Horn
You: herby
Stranger: Jones
You: soda
Stranger: Sweet
You: spot
Stranger: G
You: unit
Stranger: Mobile
You: phone
Stranger: Cell
You: tower
Stranger: Tall
You: tale
Stranger: Fable
You: mable
Stranger: Maple
You: syrup
Stranger: Sugar
You: n spice
Stranger: Everything nice
You: cinder
Stranger: Ash
You: wednesday
Stranger: Midweek.
You: midwife
Stranger: Birth
You: defect]
Stranger: Deflect
You: armor
Stranger: Sheild
You: sword
Stranger: Spear
You: offense
Stranger: Defense
You: hello
Connection imploded.
or send us feedback.
LikeLike
Hmm, I talked to this one girl for about two hours. Then right after having asked me a question, she disconnected. I assume she accidentally hit the disconnect button. It was a pity, she was really nice.
LikeLike
Stranger: Yo
You: Hi, want to play a game?
Stranger: what sort?
You: Want to play Questions? You have to answer with a question.
Stranger: sure
You: Do you know how to play?
Stranger: i can probably figuer it out
You: You just lost
LikeLike
You: Hi… Can you try proving that a^n + b^n != c^n for n>2.
Stranger: sure
Stranger: gimme one sec
You: See you in a few years…
You have disconnected.
LikeLike
Haha, I had the best conversation ever on Omegle tonight. Really, I did.
The guy was awesome and he’s totally my soulmate. Lame, right?
LikeLike
Oh, Randall, what have you wrought upon us?
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hey
You: Ever think about weird stuff? Like… they call them fingers, but I never see them fing.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
[My reCAPTCHA was Mr sales’. Mr Sales would like you buy his Cutco knives.]
LikeLike
Stranger: hey
Stranger: i wanna see your boobs
You: Hi!
You: Unfortunately, I’m rather flat-chested.
You: On account of me being a man.
Stranger: i see
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
LikeLike
I’ve had five enlightening conversations thus far, including one with Mouse, from this comment: http://blag.xkcd.com/2009/04/03/omegle/comment-page-1/#comment-26395
It’s still riddled with trolls and fuckwits, and it’s still a chore, but that’s a worthy price to pay, I feel, for the chance to have an enlightening, intelligent conversation with someone you’ve never met and may or may not speak to again, ever.
On the other hands, bastards.
LikeLike
Stranger: Hello
You: Hi, I’m God.
Stranger: Hello, I’m Jesus
Stranger: You are my father
You: Greetings son
You: It’s been a while
Stranger: I died btw
You: How have you been.
You: Oh yeah, sorry about that
Stranger: My hands hurt
Stranger: So does my side
You: I had to sacrifice you, for the greater good.
Stranger: How about you
Stranger: Still hurt
You: I’ve just been chillin’
You: You know, the usual.
Stranger: A little bit of illin’?
You: Yeah, mainly been trying to get rid of these fucking Moslems
Stranger: Paitents father
You: They’re really a pain in the ass.
You: It’s hard to keep my holy cool these days
Stranger: Hit the “smite” button on thy keyboard
You: Nah, that’s really a last resort
You: Hey Jesus?
Stranger: Yes
You: Can I ask you a favour son?
Stranger: Whatever you wish
You: You really gotta stop showing up on peices of toast and shit
Stranger: Yeah, my bad
You: Gets people all excited for no reason
Stranger: It’s easier for you. No-one knows your face
You: Well, I am the Father.
Stranger: You have a beard, wear white robes and thats about it.
You: yeah, thats my cool
Stranger: ………………………….. ………………………………….,-~~”””’~~–,,_
………………………………………….. …………………………….,-~”-,:::::::::::::::::::”-,
………………………………………….. ………………………..,~”::::::::’,::::::: :::::::::::::|’,
………………………………………….. ………………………..|::::::,-~”’___””~~–~”’:}
………………………………………….. ………………………..’|:::::|: : : : : : : : : : : : : :
………………………………………….. ………………………..|:::::|: : :-~~—: : : —–: |
………………………………………….. ……………………….(_”~-‘: : : : : : : : :
………………………………………….. ………………………..”’~-,|: : : : : : ~—‘: : : :,’–never Gonna
………………………………………….. ……………………………|,: : : : : :-~~–: : ::/ —–give You Up!
………………………………………….. ……………………….,-”’:: :’~,,_: : : : : _,-‘
………………………………………….. ………………….__,-‘;;;;;:”-,: : : :’~—~”/|
………………………………………….. ………….__,-~”;;;;;;/;;;;;;;: :: : :____/: :’,__
………………………………………….. .,-~~~””_;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;’,. .”-,:|:::::::|. . |;;;;”-,__
………………………………………….. /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;. . .”|::::::::|. .,’;;;;;;;;;;”-,
…………………………………………,’ ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;. . .:::::,’. ./|;;;;;;;;;;;;;|
………………………………………,-”;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;’,: : __|. . .|;;;;;;;;;,’;;|
…………………………………….,-“;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;’,;;;;;;; ;;;; . . |:::|. . .”,;;;;;;;;|;;/
……………………………………/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;. .|:::|. . . |;;;;;;;;|/
…………………………………./;;,-‘;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,’;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;; ;;;|. .:/. . . .|;;;;;;;;|
…………………………………/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;”,: |;|. . . . ;;;;;;;|
………………………………,~”;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;,-”;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|.|;|. . . . .|;;;;;;;|
…………………………..,~”;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;,-‘;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;’,;;;;;;| |:|. . . . |;;;;;;;|
………………………….,’;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;/;;;,-‘;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;| |:|. . . .’|;;’,;;;;;|
…………………………|;,-‘;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-‘;;;,-‘;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;| |:|. . .,’;;;;;’,;;;;|_
…………………………/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-‘_;;;;;;,’;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;; ;|.|:|. . .|;;;;;;;|;;;;|””~-,
………………………./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/_”,;;;,’;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ,;;| |:|. . ./;;;;;;;;|;;;|;;;;;;|-,,__
……………………../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-‘…|;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;| |:|._,-‘;;;;;;;;;|;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;”’-,_
Stranger: Jesus Rolled
You: I shall smite the for thy arrogance!
Stranger: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Stranger: Not again
You: Shouldn’t you be appearing in some lunatics dream or something
Stranger: Thats not penned into my calender
Stranger: Not tonight anyway
You: *grumble*
Stranger: Corn Flakes tomorrow
You: Aren’t you due for a second coming? Your nine years late!
Stranger: Then my mother is showing up in someones pie on Tuesday
Stranger: Define “Coming”
Stranger: ……….
You: Fuck that dirty harlot!
You: The nerve of that woman!
You: Thy art begets nor what ye has begotten and shit
Stranger: Thats what happens when you are 30 and have never had “relations”
You: Well, I never should have slept with her
Stranger: Your bad
You: Sorry son, you were an accident.
You: there. i said it
Stranger: Really?
Stranger: You bastard
Stranger: !!!!!
Stranger: No, wait, thats me.
You: Well, I had to keep up appearances. Thats why I went along with it for so long
Stranger: I see.
You: You know, you should come by heaven sometime
You: I’ll wip up some virgins for you
Stranger: Things to do, people to see.
Stranger: Will keep it in mind though
You: Well, don’t mess with this Obama dude
You: I don’t like how you fucked with bush
Stranger: He’s right on the money
Stranger: He did that to himself
Stranger: Daft twat
You: don’t be appearing on no presidential dreams or anything
Stranger: Thats not my thing anymore
Stranger: I prefer food items now
Stranger: Much easier
You: Ah I see.
You: Well, I gotta go. I’ve got a flood due in a few minutes.
Stranger: Best you see to that
You: Fucking Australians will never know what hit ’em
Stranger: Damn strait
You: well, keep straight son.
LikeLike
My way of summing up Omegle is this: the Brits talk to you about stuff, the Brazilians speak Portuguese and annoy you and everyone else is either a troll or disconnects when you tell them you’re not a girl. However, I find that whenever I feel like trolling on it, there is no better thing to do than getting into a conversation that at least shows signs of going somewhere, then type something about removing your disguise and and reciting the Team Rocket motto.
Try it.
LikeLike
My first conversation really sums up the internet, in my eyes:
You: hi
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: 46/f/poland
You: u?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Don’t think I’ll be going back there any time soon.
LikeLike
No, don’t give up! I’m looking for real conversation. So far I’ve pulled an American high school girl and a Belgian guy going into bioengineering. Server disconnected on both, though. 😦
LikeLike
I had a nice conversation with an Australian guy… He was 22 and 5’11, but my internet died and it made me very sad 😦
LikeLike
I talked last night to a French gut and my internet also died 😦 I was really sad and now i would like to get back to him. So if you Alex see this, could you please contact me and help me fight the chickens 🙂
I promise not to eat all the chocolates 🙂
LikeLike
Oh no. The site is down… 😦
LikeLike
I like messing with people in a friendly way.
Stranger: Hello.
You: Hello
Stranger: a/s/l?
You: 115/m/mongolia
You: going for worlds oldest man record
You: been herding goats for 102 years
Stranger: COCKS!
You: Indeed.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
LikeLike
Stranger: have you ever read the book ‘the game’ by neil strauss?
You: you’re in university?
You: sure.
You: and i think it was… *rolls eyes*
You: well, i’m a girl.
You: and i can instantly tell if you’re using something from the game
You: or pick-up artist thingies in general.
You: i don’t know.
You: a lot of guys think it’s working. well, it’s not.
You: probably not the answer you wanted, right?
Stranger: i think all of the ‘canned’ lines and things are really lame. but i think the way it changes your personality is amazing
You: you’ve used it?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
LikeLike
I was immediately rickrolled.
LikeLike
Stranger: hi
You: Hi
Stranger: a/s/l?
You: 900/Tranny/German
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
LikeLike
Stranger: hi
You: hey
Stranger: where r u from?
You: london and you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Is there anything wrong with being from london?
LikeLike
Seems to be under 20 males searching for easy women online. I feel the need to fuck with them 😀
Also, I want to figure out the probability that you could contact every single person that is online before they go offline, as well as the probability of landing a conversation with the last person you talked with as well as any of the previous people you’ve talked with that session. There may be some methods already implemented in the coding to insure that you don’t hit the same person more than once, unless you say hi and disconnect from every conversation. Perhaps the site won’t let you have a conversation with the same person and therefore if you go quickly enough, the server may not have a match for you, provided you’ve said Hi to everyone currently online. I think that people log off and on too fast for a valid study to be conducted, but any extra thoughts on how to achieve this would be much appreciated.
LikeLike
I’m trilingual (English, Spanish, and some Portuguese), so the Brazilians are usually happy to find someone who isn’t from Brazil and actually speaks their language. One guy told me that he had to use Google Translate for all the people who didn’t understand Portuguese. That led to some confusion at first; “make” and “do”, for instance, are the same in Portuguese.
I had a really great conversation with a Dutch guy a few nights ago. And, when you want to mess with people a bit, paste classical literature. One guy pasted me The Hobbit, and we then proceeded to discuss other possible pastings. I like to paste parts of Dante’s The Divine Comedy.
reCAPTCHA: equivalent fetch
LikeLike
Tom Francis of PC Gamer has some fantastic quotes from Omegle on his blog (the comments there are worth it too)
http://www.pentadact.com/index.php/2009-03-31-conversations-with-strangers
LikeLike
This Brazilian doesn’t want to talk to someone from the US, even if they do speak Portuguese. As soon as I said I was from the US they disconnected.
Stranger: oi
You: hi
Stranger: tudo bem?
You: ah, você brasileiro?
Stranger: sim
Stranger: auhauhua
You: sou dos estados unidos, mais falo um pouco de português.
LikeLike
Nyth, i came across your comment a few hours ago, and since reading have given much thought to your little dilemma. An interesting idea proving very difficult to implement – an age old problem, but with an obvious solution.
Get a girlfriend. For the love of god. Get a girlfriend.
x x x
LikeLike
I’ve had some amusing experiences on Omegle thanks to xkcd.
I had a thirty minute long conversation with this grad student who shares my enthusiasm for Mr. Snicket and existentialism. He now reads xkcd 🙂 if you’re out there, dude, what did one snowman say to the other?
There was this other guy who tried to troll me a bit, calling me gay and an anal cunt, but I went with it. He eventually gave up and we started chatting properly. He gave me advice on growing my own food.
Omegle is amazing.
LikeLike
Thank you for the link!
I got lucky: My first conversation lasted about an hour, and was centered around the concerns of a teenager getting ready for college. It had a positive effect both ways, and probably would not have happened without such a medium.
LikeLike
You: forsooth
Stranger: aye
You: greetings young wastrel
Stranger: Greetings to you
Stranger: Howst are though?
You: and just so we’re clear, I hate swedish people
Stranger: Ok
You: are you swedish?
Stranger: No
You: I don’t konw….you seem swedish
Stranger: Im not very swedish at all accually
Stranger: infact im american
You: that’s exactly what a swede would say
You: damn swedes
Stranger: hmm
Stranger: how could i convince you im not swedish
You: say something swedish
Stranger: uhh…
Stranger: I can’t
Stranger: 😎
You: I knew it…you’re swedish
You have disconnected.
LikeLike
Some of the conversations I’m reading are just mean XD
reCAPTCHA: UnionPlanter unite
LikeLike
I’ve had a couple of amazing chats – including a guy from america who had just came back from five months living in my home town in the UK. he was doing the same college course I’d done five years ago and was trying to get into the industry I work in, a lot in common for opposing sides of the globe. I also spoke to a wonderful lady from San-Frisco who was married to a bisexual man, who they shared with someone else. she’d been beated and tried to kill herself as a teen. Some very profound and deep stuff.
The only shame is that its surrounded by a deluge of racial slurs, nazi sympatising, homophobia, trolling, rick-rolls, and the like. But I suppose wading through all the shit, makes connecting with someone properly all the better when it happens.
I like it.
LikeLike
Oh man…the possibilities:
Rearrange the infinite series [(-1)^(n+1)]/n so that it adds to pi at infinity
LikeLike
I can do this all day
Stranger: Hi
You: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: 83 f US
Stranger: ok, bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
LikeLike
Had a wonderful conversation.. that got disconnected! Guy, the 29 year old crime analyst from London.. it’s a pity, you were extremely interesting.
LikeLike
Is it just me, or does every single conversation go down exactly like this.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hello
Stranger: u from ?
You: Australia
Stranger: m or f ?
You: m
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
… fucking internet culture.
LikeLike