Omegle

Since last night I’ve been obsessively connecting to Omegle.

It’s a simple site that just connects you to a random person, anonymously, for a conversation.

It feels like that scene in Fight Club where the narrator sits down next to Tyler on the plane.  Two strangers meeting, laying out their personality and sizing each other up in just a few words, with no expectations, and — thanks to anonymity — no consequences.

Except in this case, a lot of the time Tyler just screams “COCKS”, punches the narrator, and jumps out of the window.

Still, it’s fun!

1,277 replies on “Omegle”

  1. Connecting to server…
    Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
    You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: boy.cyber?
    You: Greetings.
    Stranger: no smarterchild you lose
    You: Are you a cyborg then?
    Stranger: cyberSEX
    Stranger: dammit
    Stranger: dimwitted
    You: Welcome to our world!
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Like

  2. Stranger: Your are now aware that your index finger is too long.
    You: No, I don’t think I am.
    Stranger: You should not ask what you are, but WHEN you are.
    Stranger: you’re gonna die, charlie

    Like

  3. […]

    Stranger: i believe that it we find each other attractive it would be better
    Stranger: more exciting i mean
    You: that’s not what i’m looking for. goodbye.

    Like

  4. Velociraptors, not Toronto Raptors.

    In an effort to weed out horny Brazilians, I started with “You: Raptors: yes or no?”

    We talked about sports. Turns out, they thought I was a guy (not) talking about the Toronto Raptors.

    Like

  5. You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: hey
    Stranger: hey
    Stranger: my cat won’t shut up. it’s annoying.
    You: what is your proximity to your cat so i can guess your intelligence?
    Stranger: quite close. i’ll start yelling ‘you’re a kitty!’ any minute now.

    Like

  6. Connecting to server…
    Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
    You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: hmmm…
    You: hi
    Stranger: hmmmm… hello
    Stranger: what are you thinking about?
    You: do you exist, or are you simply a sophisticated bot written by omegle?
    Stranger: does not compute, please try again.
    You: is this entire website computerized?
    Stranger: no I don’t want that salad
    You: SALAD?
    You: you say salad?
    You: caesar or ranch?
    Stranger: salad.
    Stranger: ranch
    You: that didn’t even make sense, one’s a salad, one’s a dressing
    Stranger: thats what I meant.
    You: yes
    Stranger: I agree
    You: salad. concur
    Stranger: Yes
    You: well, this is extremely deep and thoughtful
    You: salad
    Stranger: Thankyou
    Stranger: How are you today?
    You: indeed, I am well
    Stranger: I am also
    Stranger: How would you rate your experience on Omegle.com so far?
    You: I KNEW IT
    You: You ARE a bot!!!
    You: survey = bot
    You: lol
    Stranger: Pardon?
    You: well…
    You: a 9?
    You: out of 11?
    You: or out of 12.5?
    You: something like that
    Stranger: Pardon?
    Stranger: ur an idiot

    well… that was interesting.

    Like

  7. A compilation of sorts:

    Connecting to server…
    You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

    Stranger: ever masturbated into a muffin?
    You: only while skydiving
    Stranger: that takes talent
    You: talent of that sort i have aplenty
    Stranger: hmmm…..
    Stranger: david is the only i know with that talent
    You: and he’d be alive if it weren’t for you!
    Stranger: you shant be blaing me
    Stranger: blaming*
    Stranger: i tried to save him
    Stranger: i tried giving him fresh clean needles
    You: even though you know he only likes the dried out ones that get swept off the floor christmas
    You: every christmas*
    Stranger: well played sir :/
    You: meh
    You: it was a cheep shot
    You: if you really want to see the big guns, consider this:
    You:
    ??????????????. ???????????.,-~~????~~?,,_
    ????????????????.. ???????????.,-~?-,:::::::::::::::::::?-,
    ????????????????.. ?????????..,~?::::::::?,::::::: ::::::::::::?,
    ????????????????.. ?????????..|::::::,-~??___??~~?~??:}
    ????????????????.. ?????????..?|:::: : : : : : : : : : : : : :
    ????????????????.. ?????????..|:::: : :-~~?: : : ??: |
    ????????????????.. ?????????.(_?~-?: : : : : : : : :
    ????????????????.. ?????????..??~-,|: : : : : : ~??: : : :,??NEVER GONNA
    ????????????????.. ???????????|,: : : : : :-~~?: : ::/ ??GIVE YOU UP!
    ????????????????.. ?????????.,-?? :?~,,_: : : : : _,-?
    ????????????????.. ???????.__,-?;;;;;:?-,: : : :?~?~?/|
    ????????????????.. ????.__,-~?;;;;;;/;;;;;;;: : :____/: :?,__
    ????????????????.. .,-~~~??_;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;?,. .?-,:::::. . |;;;;?-,__
    ????????????????../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;. . .?|:::::::. .,?;;;;;;;;;;?-,
    ????????????????,? ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;. . .:::::,?. ./|;;;;;;;;;;;;;|
    ???????????????,-?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;?,: : __|. . .|;;;;;;;;;,?;;|
    ??????????????.,-?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;?,;;;;;;;;;;; . . |::. . .?,;;;;;;;;|;;/
    ??????????????/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;. .|::. . . |;;;;;;;;|/
    ?????????????./;;,-?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;; ;;;|. .:/. . . .|;;;;;;;;|
    ?????????????/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;?,: |;|. . . . ;;;;;;;|
    ????????????,~?;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;,-?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|.|;|. . . . .|;;;;;;;|
    ??????????..,~?;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;,-?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;?,;;;;;;| |. . . . |;;;;;;;|
    ??????????.,?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;/;;;,-?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;| |. . . .?|;;?,;;;;;|
    ??????????|;,-?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-?;;;,-?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;| |. . .,?;;;;;?,;;;;|_
    ??????????/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-?_;;;;;;,?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;; ;|.|. . .|;;;;;;;|;;;;|??~-,
    ?????????./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/_?,;;;,?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ,;;| |. . ./;;;;;;;;|;;;|;;;;;;|-,,__
    ????????../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-??|;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;| |._,-?;;;;;;;;;|;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;??-,_
    ????????/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-??.,?;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;|.|:::??~?~??||;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;,-~??~?,
    ???????.,?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,???/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;|.|::::::::::::;;;;;?,;;;;;;;;;?-,: : : : : :??~-,:??~~?,
    ???????/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-???,?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;|:::::::::::::?,;;;;;;|_??~?,,-~?,,___,-~~??__?~-
    ??????,-?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,???../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;|:::::::::::::;;;;;;|?????? ??-,_?-,?-,?~
    ??????/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/??.,-?;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;|:::::::::::::;;;;;|?????. ????.._?
    Stranger: oh thats win
    You: i wish i could say i made it
    Stranger: at least your honest to admit copypasta
    You: but i didn’t (if that was your next question)
    Stranger: no that wast
    Stranger: asl was tho
    You: i am a male, one and twenty years of age, and I hail from vermont.
    Stranger: you sound like your from 1300’s england
    Stranger: but i am also mail, 19 years old and hail from california
    You: but alas, nobody from england in the 1300’s would be able to masturbate into a muffin while skydiving, nor would they ever admit to it
    Stranger: too true
    Stranger: but to hail, and be one and twenty years old they would be
    You: Comrade, I need you to answer the following question as honestly as your psyche will allow:
    Stranger: i am ready
    You: Priates or Ninjas?
    Stranger: pirates my dear friend
    Stranger: i hail from next to the ocean
    You: of course
    Stranger: i know what a pirate must be capable of to survive in the tall waves of a stormy waves or the back streets of a slanderous port
    Stranger: stormy sea*
    You: aye, there be many a scurvy whench what frequent the ports of yon’ western coast
    Stranger: aye laddy
    Stranger: there be quite a few that ive had adventures with
    Stranger: that are damn scurvy
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Like

  8. This was just too good.

    You: howdy?
    Stranger: Chuck Norris?
    You: speaking.
    Stranger: YES!
    You: got anything you want to ask me?
    Stranger: yes!
    You: go ahead.
    Stranger: hpw is Mike Huckabee doing?
    You: not so well
    Stranger: how*
    You: but he’ll pull through
    Stranger: AAAAAAHHHHH
    You: get maybe second in 2012
    Stranger: oh good
    Stranger: yes!

    Like

  9. So far I’ve had: one person who spoke only in Call of Duty 4 tournament jargon (unusual at least!), one nice young woman in Washington DC who was bored and filling out job applications (we talked for quite awhile about music and life and stuff), one Brazilian (we talked about Google translate and stuff for a bit), and one person who’s been using omegle for a week and finds it very addictive (we talked about stuff like what languages we program in, omg geeks).

    Like

  10. I’ve had three good conversations. Two with people from Toronto, one with someone from Cleveland. Two or three other people were from Brazil and weren’t looking for my kind of talk. One was from the UK and disconnected on me. The search will continue, tomorrow night, or whenever I don’t have tons of work to do. This is a great tool for procrastination!

    Also, captcha: domestic disclosure

    Like

  11. I’m in NY, but somehow they thought i was from somewhere else… was about to give up the jig but they disconnected.. however, funny!

    You: hello
    Stranger: Edward??
    You: IV, aye
    Stranger: brazil?
    You: nao
    Stranger: finland?
    You: soma!
    Stranger: fuck

    Like

  12. Watch out for the 4chan people.

    You: Hello
    Stranger: hi
    You: xkcd?
    Stranger: what is that
    You: I heard about this from xkcd.com, was wondering if you did too.
    Stranger: no i did not
    You: Ok then
    You: Any good conversations so far?
    Stranger: this is my first time here
    You: So far I’ve talked politics with a Kiwi and an anarcho-capitalist, in between random sessions where people just cursed
    Stranger: oh cool
    Stranger: just a second i am watching a youtube video
    You: What’s it about?
    Stranger: ahh this isn’t fun
    Stranger: that’s you
    Stranger: Stranger: Hello
    You: WHAT SITE ARE YOU FROM?
    Stranger: xkcd?
    You: lol awesome
    Stranger: That was where I first heard of this, anyways.
    You: i’m from 4chan
    Stranger: Aha. The beginning and the end of the internet. Pleasure to meet you.
    You: you the same now as a /b/tard i’m going to have to be a jackass now you understand?
    Stranger: Kind of. As a qualified person, what is your opinion on Bawksy?
    Stranger: Sorry, yes, you can be a jackass, I misread the question. Go ahead.
    You: bawksy i think hes my bitch down on 32nd
    You: o in that case
    Stranger: Probably true. What do you think of Zalgo?
    You: BITCH NIGGER CUNT FUCK ZACH BRAF TITY SHIT IN THE TOLIT DUMP
    Stranger: now goodbye sir

    Like

  13. 3009 users online
    the Funadvice Traffic Exchange
    Connecting to server…
    You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: God?
    You: open
    Stranger: Closed
    You: the father
    Stranger: Son
    You: jesus
    You: buddha
    Stranger: Christ
    Stranger: Zen
    You: peace
    Stranger: Harmony
    You: balance
    Stranger: Contentment
    You: light
    Stranger: Dark
    You: bright
    Stranger: Dull
    You: human
    Stranger: Divine
    You: source
    Stranger: Spring
    You: why
    Stranger: How?
    You: together
    Stranger: Community
    You: communism
    You: communion
    Stranger: Socialism
    Stranger: Host
    You: bread
    Stranger: Butter
    You: bread
    Stranger: Water
    You: bread
    Stranger: Milk
    You: honey
    Stranger: Greek
    You: yogurt
    Stranger: Strawberries
    You: mythos
    Stranger: Science
    You: mythos
    Stranger: Mythology
    You: sun
    Stranger: Rain
    You: burst
    Stranger: Implode
    You: blast
    Stranger: Furnace
    You: monk
    Stranger: Temple
    You: death
    Stranger: Rebirth
    You: plague
    Stranger: Sickness
    You: love
    Stranger: Freya
    You: bird
    Stranger: Beast
    You: language
    Stranger: Thought
    You: think
    Stranger: Feel
    You: emotion
    Stranger: Happiness
    You: smile
    Stranger: Cry
    You: laugh
    Stranger: Live
    You: tear
    Stranger: Drink
    You: gatorade
    Stranger: Sweat
    You: run
    Stranger: Fall
    You: slam
    Stranger: Hard
    You: farm
    Stranger: Earth
    You: 10
    Stranger: 12
    You: diciples
    Stranger: 13
    You: with jesus
    Stranger: Home
    You: google
    Stranger: Search
    You: wife
    Stranger: Lover
    You: lonely
    Stranger: Engaged
    You: sucks
    Stranger: Blows
    You: whale
    Stranger: Moby Dick
    You: book
    Stranger: Literature
    You: faucet
    Stranger: Funnel
    You: heat
    Stranger: Cold
    You: fire
    Stranger: Ice
    You: iran
    Stranger: Iraq
    You: missle
    Stranger: Rocket
    You: weapon
    Stranger: Violent
    You: peace
    Stranger: Resolution
    You: bread
    Stranger: Butter
    You: no
    Stranger: Yes
    You: sometimes
    Stranger: Maybe
    You: why?
    Stranger: Why not?
    You: because he was wounded
    Stranger: Odin
    You: so how?
    Stranger: By a spear
    You: from the hand of his brother
    Stranger: For wisdom
    You: of his father
    You: disney
    Stranger: Bambee
    You: hannah barbera
    Stranger: Harvey Birdman
    You: sesame street
    Stranger: Cookie Monster
    You: yellow brick road
    Stranger: Dark Side of the Moon
    You: tea
    Stranger: Coffee
    You: ginger
    Stranger: Redhair
    You: tshirt
    Stranger: Sweatshirt
    You: cowlick
    Stranger: Little Rascals
    You: 1960 speedster
    Stranger: Vespa
    You: lotus
    Stranger: Blossom
    You: white
    Stranger: Snow
    You: yellow
    Stranger: Gross
    You: idea
    Stranger: Wrong
    You: answer
    Stranger: Class
    You: ification
    Stranger: Strat
    You: egy
    Stranger: Sun Tzu
    You: peace
    Stranger: War
    You: peace
    Stranger: Turmoil
    You: black
    Stranger: Night
    You: cover
    Stranger: Bed
    You: head
    Stranger: Hair
    You: pin
    Stranger: Heart
    You: break
    Stranger: Loss
    You: weight
    Stranger: Gain
    You: status
    Stranger: Prestige
    You: perception
    Stranger: Art
    You: communication
    Stranger: Speach
    You: therapist
    Stranger: Psychology
    You: major
    Stranger: Minor
    You: young
    Stranger: Old
    You: school
    Stranger: University
    You: of southern california
    Stranger: Northern Michigan
    You: is cold
    Stranger: Refreshing
    You: ly freezing
    Stranger: Warm inside
    You: burrito
    Stranger: Taco
    You: truck
    Stranger: Fire
    You: fly
    Stranger: Serenity
    You: calm
    Stranger: Angry
    You: sob
    Stranger: Tired
    You: awake
    Stranger: Caffeine
    You: tea
    Stranger: Delicious
    You: donut
    Stranger: Dunkin’
    You: america runs on
    Stranger: gasoline
    You: jelly
    Stranger: Jell-o
    You: assam
    Stranger: Sam
    You: ass
    Stranger: Tits
    You: accent
    Stranger: áéíóúý
    You: vowels
    Stranger: Consonants
    You: fibonacci
    Stranger: Fiber
    You: 1 2 3 5 8
    Stranger: 5678567856785678
    You: repitition
    You: pattern
    Stranger: Palahniuk
    Stranger: Recognition
    You: n/a
    Stranger: Lost
    You: i heart
    Stranger: ai
    You: green
    Stranger: midori
    You: lavender
    Stranger: Jasmine
    You: marigold
    Stranger: Periwinkle
    You: copper
    Stranger: Bronze
    You: russia
    Stranger: USSR
    You: osma
    Stranger: Athsma
    You: attack
    Stranger: Fish
    You: sticks
    Stranger: Hertzfeldt
    You: german
    Stranger: Deutsch
    You: narwols
    Stranger: Whales
    You: energy
    Stranger: Fuel
    You: unicorn
    Stranger: Horn
    You: herby
    Stranger: Jones
    You: soda
    Stranger: Sweet
    You: spot
    Stranger: G
    You: unit
    Stranger: Mobile
    You: phone
    Stranger: Cell
    You: tower
    Stranger: Tall
    You: tale
    Stranger: Fable
    You: mable
    Stranger: Maple
    You: syrup
    Stranger: Sugar
    You: n spice
    Stranger: Everything nice
    You: cinder
    Stranger: Ash
    You: wednesday
    Stranger: Midweek.
    You: midwife
    Stranger: Birth
    You: defect]
    Stranger: Deflect
    You: armor
    Stranger: Sheild
    You: sword
    Stranger: Spear
    You: offense
    Stranger: Defense
    You: hello
    Connection imploded.
    or send us feedback.

    Like

  14. Hmm, I talked to this one girl for about two hours. Then right after having asked me a question, she disconnected. I assume she accidentally hit the disconnect button. It was a pity, she was really nice.

    Like

  15. Stranger: Yo
    You: Hi, want to play a game?
    Stranger: what sort?
    You: Want to play Questions? You have to answer with a question.
    Stranger: sure
    You: Do you know how to play?
    Stranger: i can probably figuer it out
    You: You just lost

    Like

  16. You: Hi… Can you try proving that a^n + b^n != c^n for n>2.
    Stranger: sure
    Stranger: gimme one sec
    You: See you in a few years…
    You have disconnected.

    Like

  17. Haha, I had the best conversation ever on Omegle tonight. Really, I did.

    The guy was awesome and he’s totally my soulmate. Lame, right?

    Like

  18. Oh, Randall, what have you wrought upon us?

    Connecting to server…
    Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
    You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: hi
    You: Hey
    You: Ever think about weird stuff? Like… they call them fingers, but I never see them fing.
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    [My reCAPTCHA was Mr sales’. Mr Sales would like you buy his Cutco knives.]

    Like

  19. Stranger: hey
    Stranger: i wanna see your boobs
    You: Hi!
    You: Unfortunately, I’m rather flat-chested.
    You: On account of me being a man.
    Stranger: i see
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Like

  20. I’ve had five enlightening conversations thus far, including one with Mouse, from this comment: http://blag.xkcd.com/2009/04/03/omegle/comment-page-1/#comment-26395

    It’s still riddled with trolls and fuckwits, and it’s still a chore, but that’s a worthy price to pay, I feel, for the chance to have an enlightening, intelligent conversation with someone you’ve never met and may or may not speak to again, ever.

    On the other hands, bastards.

    Like

  21. Stranger: Hello
    You: Hi, I’m God.
    Stranger: Hello, I’m Jesus
    Stranger: You are my father
    You: Greetings son
    You: It’s been a while
    Stranger: I died btw
    You: How have you been.
    You: Oh yeah, sorry about that
    Stranger: My hands hurt
    Stranger: So does my side
    You: I had to sacrifice you, for the greater good.
    Stranger: How about you
    Stranger: Still hurt
    You: I’ve just been chillin’
    You: You know, the usual.
    Stranger: A little bit of illin’?
    You: Yeah, mainly been trying to get rid of these fucking Moslems
    Stranger: Paitents father
    You: They’re really a pain in the ass.
    You: It’s hard to keep my holy cool these days
    Stranger: Hit the “smite” button on thy keyboard
    You: Nah, that’s really a last resort
    You: Hey Jesus?
    Stranger: Yes
    You: Can I ask you a favour son?
    Stranger: Whatever you wish
    You: You really gotta stop showing up on peices of toast and shit
    Stranger: Yeah, my bad
    You: Gets people all excited for no reason
    Stranger: It’s easier for you. No-one knows your face
    You: Well, I am the Father.
    Stranger: You have a beard, wear white robes and thats about it.
    You: yeah, thats my cool
    Stranger: ………………………….. ………………………………….,-~~”””’~~–,,_
    ………………………………………….. …………………………….,-~”-,:::::::::::::::::::”-,
    ………………………………………….. ………………………..,~”::::::::’,::::::: :::::::::::::|’,
    ………………………………………….. ………………………..|::::::,-~”’___””~~–~”’:}
    ………………………………………….. ………………………..’|:::::|: : : : : : : : : : : : : :
    ………………………………………….. ………………………..|:::::|: : :-~~—: : : —–: |
    ………………………………………….. ……………………….(_”~-‘: : : : : : : : :
    ………………………………………….. ………………………..”’~-,|: : : : : : ~—‘: : : :,’–never Gonna
    ………………………………………….. ……………………………|,: : : : : :-~~–: : ::/ —–give You Up!
    ………………………………………….. ……………………….,-”’:: :’~,,_: : : : : _,-‘
    ………………………………………….. ………………….__,-‘;;;;;:”-,: : : :’~—~”/|
    ………………………………………….. ………….__,-~”;;;;;;/;;;;;;;: :: : :____/: :’,__
    ………………………………………….. .,-~~~””_;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;’,. .”-,:|:::::::|. . |;;;;”-,__
    ………………………………………….. /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;. . .”|::::::::|. .,’;;;;;;;;;;”-,
    …………………………………………,’ ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;. . .:::::,’. ./|;;;;;;;;;;;;;|
    ………………………………………,-”;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;’,: : __|. . .|;;;;;;;;;,’;;|
    …………………………………….,-“;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;’,;;;;;;; ;;;; . . |:::|. . .”,;;;;;;;;|;;/
    ……………………………………/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;. .|:::|. . . |;;;;;;;;|/
    …………………………………./;;,-‘;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,’;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;; ;;;|. .:/. . . .|;;;;;;;;|
    …………………………………/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;”,: |;|. . . . ;;;;;;;|
    ………………………………,~”;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;,-”;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|.|;|. . . . .|;;;;;;;|
    …………………………..,~”;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;,-‘;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;’,;;;;;;| |:|. . . . |;;;;;;;|
    ………………………….,’;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;/;;;,-‘;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;| |:|. . . .’|;;’,;;;;;|
    …………………………|;,-‘;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-‘;;;,-‘;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;| |:|. . .,’;;;;;’,;;;;|_
    …………………………/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-‘_;;;;;;,’;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;; ;|.|:|. . .|;;;;;;;|;;;;|””~-,
    ………………………./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/_”,;;;,’;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ,;;| |:|. . ./;;;;;;;;|;;;|;;;;;;|-,,__
    ……………………../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-‘…|;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;| |:|._,-‘;;;;;;;;;|;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;”’-,_
    Stranger: Jesus Rolled
    You: I shall smite the for thy arrogance!
    Stranger: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    Stranger: Not again
    You: Shouldn’t you be appearing in some lunatics dream or something
    Stranger: Thats not penned into my calender
    Stranger: Not tonight anyway
    You: *grumble*
    Stranger: Corn Flakes tomorrow
    You: Aren’t you due for a second coming? Your nine years late!
    Stranger: Then my mother is showing up in someones pie on Tuesday
    Stranger: Define “Coming”
    Stranger: ……….
    You: Fuck that dirty harlot!
    You: The nerve of that woman!
    You: Thy art begets nor what ye has begotten and shit
    Stranger: Thats what happens when you are 30 and have never had “relations”
    You: Well, I never should have slept with her
    Stranger: Your bad
    You: Sorry son, you were an accident.
    You: there. i said it
    Stranger: Really?
    Stranger: You bastard
    Stranger: !!!!!
    Stranger: No, wait, thats me.
    You: Well, I had to keep up appearances. Thats why I went along with it for so long
    Stranger: I see.
    You: You know, you should come by heaven sometime
    You: I’ll wip up some virgins for you
    Stranger: Things to do, people to see.
    Stranger: Will keep it in mind though
    You: Well, don’t mess with this Obama dude
    You: I don’t like how you fucked with bush
    Stranger: He’s right on the money
    Stranger: He did that to himself
    Stranger: Daft twat
    You: don’t be appearing on no presidential dreams or anything
    Stranger: Thats not my thing anymore
    Stranger: I prefer food items now
    Stranger: Much easier
    You: Ah I see.
    You: Well, I gotta go. I’ve got a flood due in a few minutes.
    Stranger: Best you see to that
    You: Fucking Australians will never know what hit ’em
    Stranger: Damn strait
    You: well, keep straight son.

    Like

  22. My way of summing up Omegle is this: the Brits talk to you about stuff, the Brazilians speak Portuguese and annoy you and everyone else is either a troll or disconnects when you tell them you’re not a girl. However, I find that whenever I feel like trolling on it, there is no better thing to do than getting into a conversation that at least shows signs of going somewhere, then type something about removing your disguise and and reciting the Team Rocket motto.

    Try it.

    Like

  23. My first conversation really sums up the internet, in my eyes:

    You: hi
    Stranger: hi
    Stranger: asl?
    You: 46/f/poland
    You: u?
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Don’t think I’ll be going back there any time soon.

    Like

  24. No, don’t give up! I’m looking for real conversation. So far I’ve pulled an American high school girl and a Belgian guy going into bioengineering. Server disconnected on both, though. 😦

    Like

  25. I had a nice conversation with an Australian guy… He was 22 and 5’11, but my internet died and it made me very sad 😦

    Like

  26. I talked last night to a French gut and my internet also died 😦 I was really sad and now i would like to get back to him. So if you Alex see this, could you please contact me and help me fight the chickens 🙂
    I promise not to eat all the chocolates 🙂

    Like

  27. I like messing with people in a friendly way.

    Stranger: Hello.
    You: Hello
    Stranger: a/s/l?
    You: 115/m/mongolia
    You: going for worlds oldest man record
    You: been herding goats for 102 years
    Stranger: COCKS!
    You: Indeed.
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Like

  28. Stranger: have you ever read the book ‘the game’ by neil strauss?
    You: you’re in university?
    You: sure.
    You: and i think it was… *rolls eyes*
    You: well, i’m a girl.
    You: and i can instantly tell if you’re using something from the game
    You: or pick-up artist thingies in general.
    You: i don’t know.
    You: a lot of guys think it’s working. well, it’s not.
    You: probably not the answer you wanted, right?
    Stranger: i think all of the ‘canned’ lines and things are really lame. but i think the way it changes your personality is amazing
    You: you’ve used it?
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Like

  29. Stranger: hi
    You: Hi
    Stranger: a/s/l?
    You: 900/Tranny/German
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Like

  30. Stranger: hi
    You: hey
    Stranger: where r u from?
    You: london and you
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Is there anything wrong with being from london?

    Like

  31. Seems to be under 20 males searching for easy women online. I feel the need to fuck with them 😀

    Also, I want to figure out the probability that you could contact every single person that is online before they go offline, as well as the probability of landing a conversation with the last person you talked with as well as any of the previous people you’ve talked with that session. There may be some methods already implemented in the coding to insure that you don’t hit the same person more than once, unless you say hi and disconnect from every conversation. Perhaps the site won’t let you have a conversation with the same person and therefore if you go quickly enough, the server may not have a match for you, provided you’ve said Hi to everyone currently online. I think that people log off and on too fast for a valid study to be conducted, but any extra thoughts on how to achieve this would be much appreciated.

    Like

  32. I’m trilingual (English, Spanish, and some Portuguese), so the Brazilians are usually happy to find someone who isn’t from Brazil and actually speaks their language. One guy told me that he had to use Google Translate for all the people who didn’t understand Portuguese. That led to some confusion at first; “make” and “do”, for instance, are the same in Portuguese.

    I had a really great conversation with a Dutch guy a few nights ago. And, when you want to mess with people a bit, paste classical literature. One guy pasted me The Hobbit, and we then proceeded to discuss other possible pastings. I like to paste parts of Dante’s The Divine Comedy.

    reCAPTCHA: equivalent fetch

    Like

  33. This Brazilian doesn’t want to talk to someone from the US, even if they do speak Portuguese. As soon as I said I was from the US they disconnected.

    Stranger: oi
    You: hi
    Stranger: tudo bem?
    You: ah, você brasileiro?
    Stranger: sim
    Stranger: auhauhua
    You: sou dos estados unidos, mais falo um pouco de português.

    Like

  34. Nyth, i came across your comment a few hours ago, and since reading have given much thought to your little dilemma. An interesting idea proving very difficult to implement – an age old problem, but with an obvious solution.
    Get a girlfriend. For the love of god. Get a girlfriend.

    x x x

    Like

  35. I’ve had some amusing experiences on Omegle thanks to xkcd.
    I had a thirty minute long conversation with this grad student who shares my enthusiasm for Mr. Snicket and existentialism. He now reads xkcd 🙂 if you’re out there, dude, what did one snowman say to the other?

    There was this other guy who tried to troll me a bit, calling me gay and an anal cunt, but I went with it. He eventually gave up and we started chatting properly. He gave me advice on growing my own food.

    Omegle is amazing.

    Like

  36. Thank you for the link!

    I got lucky: My first conversation lasted about an hour, and was centered around the concerns of a teenager getting ready for college. It had a positive effect both ways, and probably would not have happened without such a medium.

    Like

  37. You: forsooth
    Stranger: aye
    You: greetings young wastrel
    Stranger: Greetings to you
    Stranger: Howst are though?
    You: and just so we’re clear, I hate swedish people
    Stranger: Ok
    You: are you swedish?
    Stranger: No
    You: I don’t konw….you seem swedish
    Stranger: Im not very swedish at all accually
    Stranger: infact im american
    You: that’s exactly what a swede would say
    You: damn swedes
    Stranger: hmm
    Stranger: how could i convince you im not swedish
    You: say something swedish
    Stranger: uhh…
    Stranger: I can’t
    Stranger: 😎
    You: I knew it…you’re swedish
    You have disconnected.

    Like

  38. Some of the conversations I’m reading are just mean XD

    reCAPTCHA: UnionPlanter unite

    Like

  39. I’ve had a couple of amazing chats – including a guy from america who had just came back from five months living in my home town in the UK. he was doing the same college course I’d done five years ago and was trying to get into the industry I work in, a lot in common for opposing sides of the globe. I also spoke to a wonderful lady from San-Frisco who was married to a bisexual man, who they shared with someone else. she’d been beated and tried to kill herself as a teen. Some very profound and deep stuff.

    The only shame is that its surrounded by a deluge of racial slurs, nazi sympatising, homophobia, trolling, rick-rolls, and the like. But I suppose wading through all the shit, makes connecting with someone properly all the better when it happens.

    I like it.

    Like

  40. Oh man…the possibilities:

    Rearrange the infinite series [(-1)^(n+1)]/n so that it adds to pi at infinity

    Like

  41. I can do this all day

    Stranger: Hi
    You: hi
    Stranger: asl?
    You: 83 f US
    Stranger: ok, bye
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Like

  42. Had a wonderful conversation.. that got disconnected! Guy, the 29 year old crime analyst from London.. it’s a pity, you were extremely interesting.

    Like

  43. Is it just me, or does every single conversation go down exactly like this.

    You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: hi
    You: Hello
    Stranger: u from ?
    You: Australia
    Stranger: m or f ?
    You: m
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    … fucking internet culture.

    Like

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