Since last night I’ve been obsessively connecting to Omegle.
It’s a simple site that just connects you to a random person, anonymously, for a conversation.
It feels like that scene in Fight Club where the narrator sits down next to Tyler on the plane. Two strangers meeting, laying out their personality and sizing each other up in just a few words, with no expectations, and — thanks to anonymity — no consequences.
Except in this case, a lot of the time Tyler just screams “COCKS”, punches the narrator, and jumps out of the window.
Still, it’s fun!
xkcd 
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: We’re no strangers to love
Stranger: asl?
You: You know the rules and so do I
Stranger: i know
Stranger: mhm..ok
You: A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of
You: You wouldn’t get this from any other guy
You: I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling
Stranger: okok..
You: Gotta make you understand
Stranger: what
You: Never gonna give you up
Stranger: …
You: Never gonna let you down
You: Never gonna run around and desert you
You: Never gonna make you cry
You: Never gonna say goodbye
You: Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Stranger: never gonna fuck me
You: We’ve know each other for so long
Stranger: …
You: Your heart’s been aching
You: But you’re too shy to say it
Stranger: fuck you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hello.
You: hello
You: wat up
Stranger: not much, you?
You: nothin to do…
Stranger: True facts.
You: 0.0 true
Stranger:
You: you said
Stranger: “asl” loo0o0ol.
You: 11/both/thehole
Stranger: Noice.
You: u
Stranger: 16/male/home. >.>
You: kk
You: your 16
Stranger: yus
You: so your a high school student
Stranger: Yup
You: in school
Stranger: …yeah.
You: you do homework
You: and hang out with friend on fridays
Stranger: what
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: AUTOMATIC MESSAGE: Warning! Omegle has the legal obligation to inform you that you are chatting with a convicted sex offender. Please do not give him any personal information.
You: hi
You: asl?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: i have suprisingly low expectations for this
Stranger: me too
You: then things can only go good right?
Stranger: yes i suppose so
You: there have been numerous researches on the subject
Stranger: really?
You: it seems people with low expectations are generally happier
Stranger: that is interesting
You: but also perform less
You: so your attention gets lower after you’ve met your goal(s)
You: what would you prefer?
Stranger: no idea
yea that was great.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: m/f?
You: both
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
*********
Stranger: I’m looking for a girl who wants to show off her breasts anonymously
You: HI
You: you found one
Stranger: aesome
Stranger: awesome*
You: hehe lol
Stranger: sooo where they at
You: I dunno…. Ill show you once I find a pair
Stranger: boo
Stranger: ='[
You: boo…
You: get a life dude
Stranger: dude?
You: okay then who are u?
Stranger: umm
Stranger: well
You: one with
You: kleinfelter syndrome?
You: a hermaphrodite?
Stranger: how did you know
You: I got ESP!
Stranger: its not fun to live with XXY
Stranger: =/
You: yeah… I kno..
You: I got the same thing!
You: =/
Stranger: hook up?
You: y not?
You: wher u liv?
Stranger: nc
Stranger: usa
You: In Thailand
You: Bangkok
You: wanna come for a trip?
Stranger: mm idk you payin for trip?
You: urmmmm…. its cheaper for u to come here than me visiting u!
You: we could split
Stranger: ok
You: so when is the vacation?
You: by chrismas?
Stranger: hmm when ever
You: hmmm….
You: in 2 weeks?
Stranger: sure
You: alright….
Stranger: if we can get the money
You: I could ge tmy part done…
Stranger: same here
Stranger: np
Stranger: idk how you would get it to me tho
Stranger: or how you would want to do this
You: er….. dude,
Stranger: lol
You: did u actually think im one with XXY trying to hook up with someone:S
You: yuk!
Stranger: i really hope not
Stranger: could be worse but still
You: nah dont worry…. it wont ge tannymore worse.
You: lol
You: damn i hate this keyboard
Stranger: lol
You: okay back to business…. so how u doin???
Stranger: pretty well
You: Its freezing over here
You: lol
You: so off to geberal knowledge.
You: *general
Stranger: lol
You: where u from
You: ?
Stranger: north carolina
You: …………..(removed)
You: its the summer over there right?
Stranger: almost
You: okay, now weather is of topic…. u pick the next.!
You: lol
Stranger: blunts
You: yea same here….
You: maybe i shud take some sleep.
You: its 3am now. *sigh*
Stranger: ugh
Stranger: =[
You: sorry…
You: catch u later then
You: and btw,
Stranger: ..?
You: if u ever meet someone here stating they’re from planet Mars and claims that they would conquer earth soon, that’ll be me. Just say Hi. 😉
You: good bye!
Stranger: lol kk
Stranger: =]
You: =]
You have disconnected.
************
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: hello
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
*************
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Greetings Earthling!
Stranger: Wonderful.
You: Which part of the planet earth are you from?
Stranger: USA.
You: Nice…
You: Our army would be invading that piece of land in two decades tie
You: or 2 weeks if we put it in your units of measuring time
You: so be ready
Stranger: Sure.
You: All you humans got for your defence is this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NASA_Chicken_Gun
You: which is nothing compared to the strength of our armies
You: and numbers
Stranger: Do you serisouly think you are fooling me? The MadGod of humanity?
You: Do you seriously think I am fooling you?
You: Enough
You: the warning has been given
You: your fate is now your own
You have disconnected.
*************
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: hi
You: bye!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
************
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: 14- f- china
You: you?
Stranger: 20 m turkey
You: hmmm…..
You: you do sound like a turkey!
Stranger: yes did you come good
You: now would you be surprised to hear that I’m actually a 24 year old guy from India pretending to be a girl
You: turkey!
Stranger: what?
You: turkey! the bird.
You: http://www.netstate.com/states/symb/gamebirds/images/wild_turkey.jpg
You: the big fat ones with feathers
Stranger: nono
You: oh…. sorry I only got I t now.
You: the country.
You: right!
You: Im really sorry
You: Are you there?
You: helloooooo!
You: turkey?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: Why türk
no
You: sorry?
Stranger: fack
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
****************
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: from?
You: mars!
Stranger: and i from moon
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
***************
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: m/f
You: ?
Stranger: sweden25m
Stranger: asl you
You: oh cool…. Congo 28 m
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl please
You: hahaha
Stranger: and u
Stranger: 18 f usa
You: Of course
You: because I know that’a the first thing a young female wants to know
Stranger: what’s your asl ?
You: 526, male elf, Lothlorien
Stranger: ooohh….that’s impossible !!
You: No it’s not
Stranger: yes it’s yes
You: I just celebrated my birthday
You: and I had to buy 526 candles
Stranger: okay
Stranger: what !!
You: It was terrible
Stranger: that’s impossible too …
Stranger: i know you just lie with me
You: I already told you, I’m pretty young for an elf
You: I think it is you that lied to me
You: 18 f usa.. indeed lol
You: And now your cover is blown
You: Tsk Tsk
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: girl !!!!!!
You: I want you more than sheep!
Stranger: i wanna take you to a gay bar !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: Fucking awesome song
Stranger: put some mustard on mustard
You: Lord, are you there?
Stranger: i’ve got something to put in you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: qwerty
Stranger: whats up
You: uiop
Stranger: I see
You: asdfgh
Stranger: haha no way
Stranger: your bullshitting me
You: jkl
Stranger: ah damn
Stranger: had me going
You: zxcvbn
Stranger: dude your full of shit
You: m
Stranger: no way that happend
Stranger: I know people lie on the internet but no
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: AAAAAAH
You: Hi
Stranger: AAAAAAAAAAAAH
You: Whoa.
Stranger: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Stranger: I HAVE 3 NIPPLES
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Well that was entertaining. 😀
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Stranger: you just lost the game
You: FUCK.
Stranger: haha gotcha
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
The game is everywhere…
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I lost the game 🙂
Stranger: We’re no strangers to love
You: You know the rules and so do I
Stranger: A full commitments what Im thinking of
You: You wouldn’t get this from any other guy
Stranger:
I just wanna tell you how Im feeling
You: Gotta make you understand
Stranger: never gonna give you up
You: Never gonna let you down
Stranger: never gonna run and around and desert you
You: never gonna make you cry
Stranger: never gonna say goodbye
You: never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
You: yay rickrolling 🙂
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey.
Stranger: You!
You: Yes, me!
Stranger: I knew it.
Stranger: What’s up?
You: …
You: >D
You: The ceiling…
You: The sky…
You: Some clouds…
You: A bird or two…
You: Some bugs…
You: An airplane…
Stranger: How astute of you.
You: And the occasional suicidal.
You: But that’s all normal!
Stranger: Quite.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey. ASL? Straight, Gay, Lesbian, or Bi?
You: I’m a 21 year old lesbian male located in new york.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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This is long, but ultimately worth it! Btw i am not from NY and have never been to china…
Omegle
Talk to strangers!
2162 users online
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: hi there
You: how are you?
Stranger: fine
Stranger: you from?
You: new york
You: you?
Stranger: china
Stranger: kaifeng
You: oh cool!
You: i lived in china until 4 years ago
You: my mother and my brother and i moved to new york!
Stranger: so you are chinese
You: i lived in jinan, shandong
You: yes
Stranger: ????????
You: oh are you typing chinese characters? my screen can’t read them… they all appear as squares
You: its annoying
You: i cant talk to friends back in jinan 😦
You: maybe is should get a new screen
Stranger: you are kidding me?
You: no
You: its an old screen
Stranger: It’s impossible
You: i have problems reading most chinese websites
You: unless its actually a computer problem
You: well they just appear as squares…thats all there is
Stranger: it’s wired
You: is it ok to talk english? you seem good with english
Stranger: a little
Stranger: i’m a student and greduate next year
You: really. thats good. do you plan on going to university?
Stranger: i’m in university
You: oh ok i see
You: me too
Stranger: can i get your msn
You: i started uni in jinan, and continued when we moved to New York
You: dont have one
You: what are you studying?
Stranger: Air conditioning
You: really? are you an engineer?
Stranger: maybe
You: i study maritime engineering. ship design
Stranger: oh i think is very profoundly
You: profoundly?
You: i think you used the wrong word
Stranger: maybe
Stranger: my english is just so so
You: oh ok
You: i miss jinan
Stranger: reconditeness right?
You: yes
Stranger: hehe
You: we had to move after my father died in an accident in the jungle
Stranger: sorry about that
You: its ok… he was eaten by a big snake… but that was a long time ago
You: i still want to go back
Stranger: yeah welcom
You: and new york isn’t all that good
You: dont bother coming to america
You: the people are rude
Stranger: really ?
You: yes
Stranger: you know what ? i thought you kidding me and you are in China
You: and you cant swim in any of the rivers its too dangerous. my little sister was eaten by a catfish when we first arrived 😦
You: no i really am in NY unfortunately
You: my mother doesnt want to go back to china
You: i dont know if i should leave her here or what
Stranger: you are working there ?
You: no, nearly finished my uni degree
You: i hopefully can get a job well away from the water, just designing
Stranger: for 4years haven’t ?
You: we have to have scuba diving lessons and i hate the water
You: yes this is my 4th year
Stranger: oh i know
You: even being by the water is bad here
Stranger: why ?you must to learn?
You: my friend who did the same course was eaten when a big prawn leapt out the water and ate her… i really just want an office job
You: yes
You: some engineers must go underwater to find problems with the ship
Stranger: a big prawn ? how could it happen
You: but they usually just fix… not design
You: big animals in america 😦
You: thats another reason i want to go back to china
Stranger: so You work pretty dangerous?
You: only if you work by water… very dangerous here in America… dont know about china
Stranger: god
You: im looking to maybe get a job with csbc corporation in Taiwan… they build ships for chinese navy
Stranger: for chinese navy
?
Stranger: that’s impossible
You: military boats
You: for Taiwan
Stranger: oh that’s right
You: yes, but i dont know if i want to move to taiwan
You: i would prefer china mainland
Stranger: you are good
You: taiwan is also dangerous for working. last year a ship was destroyed by a giant octopus
You: but they killed it
You: so hopefully it is safe
You: do you know of any ship building in china?
Stranger: dalian shanghai and so on
You: oh ok
Stranger: a lot
You: i will apply for a job with them
You: i really dont want to go to taiwan
Stranger: i see
Stranger: Home is the most unforgettable
You: so will you get a job when you graduate?
Stranger: of couse
You: even with the economic crisis?
Stranger: but china is better than others
You: yes, i have heard this
Stranger: right
Stranger: i guess i can get a job next year
You: well that would be good
Stranger: i hopr
Stranger: hope
Stranger: so ,you can get a msn number i would like talk to you sometime
You: well dont go near hunan province. my neighbour went there for a holiday many years ago, but he was killed and eaten by a giant butterfly
You: dont het a job in hunan
You: i will get a msn number
You: hopefully then we can talk in chinese!
Stranger: eaten by a giant butterfly
????
You: yes, his wife escaped
Stranger: impossible????
You: im afraid not
You: his wife said so
Stranger: you must be jok
You: she still lives in jinan
You: no
You: they were in a forest
Stranger: my msn: removed for privacy
You: oh good
You: i will save this
You: they were is a forest, but got lost when their guide was eaten by a giant snail
Stranger: you said a lot interest things
You: and accidently wandered into the butterfly nest
You: there are many giant things in hunan forest
Stranger: but i do not believe
You: please dont go there
You: or inner mongolia
Stranger: i’m going to dinner bye
You: i know of a person who was eaten by a giant goat that breathed fire
You: ok
You: bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You: hello
Stranger: Hi!
You: asl?
Stranger: m/us/28
Stranger: And you
You: F/16/England
Stranger: That’s cool. Do you like older guys?
You:That depends, are you cute
Stranger: Yes, I use to play football in college, do you have a webcam?
You: Yes, y do u ask?
Stranger: I’m looking for girls to webcam with
You: But you don’t even know what i look like
Stranger: I’m sure you look great
You: but I’m only 16
Stranger: that’s o.k. age is just a number
You: Would you like to see what I look like first, i could be too ugly?
Stranger: Sure o.k, do you have a pic?
You: sure, let me load it to tinypic
Stranger: I can’t wait
You: o k here I am, tell me what you think
You: http://i42.tinypic.com/2iuaweq.jpg
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey
Stranger: hi
You: How are you?
Stranger: kind of bored
Stranger: how about you
You: Same.
You: Asl?
Stranger: ?
Stranger: whats the point of asking asl
You: So I can troll you into cyber sex, then make it very creepy at the end, and post it on a forum so every one can laugh as they post their own as well.
You: Why else would I ask asl?
Stranger: yeap
Stranger: i thought soo
You: So. Are we going to do this or what?
You: You can be Misty.
You: I’ll be Onyx.
Stranger: how about you will be togepy
Stranger: and i’ll be bulbasaur
You: TOO LATE MISTY
You: I’M ALREADY IN YOUR VAGINA
You: OOOOOOOONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYX!
You: OH SHIT!
You: BROCK TOLD ME TO USE DIG!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: hello
Stranger: asl?
You: 98/t/zimbabwe
Stranger: 98?
Stranger: yeah okay
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You: Hello, I am from the American Assocation for Abuse and Rape. I have asked that this network connect me to you directly, as I have yet to tap into any other forms of contacts with you. You are under investigation by our assocation under accusation of pedophilia and molestation via this chatting network. I do request you admittedly write out your statement and/or confession at this time, along with any contact details and further sources of contact. If you do not agree to these terms, our associates will be forced to track your internet provider and obtain details from said sources, thus, an associate of ours will issue a warrant for your arrest and further investigation.
Stranger: Yay
Stranger: You know the best kind of rape 😀
Stranger: Puppy rape 😀
Stranger: There so soft 😀 and flexable 😀 And light up when you plug em into a socket 😀
You: Shit son.
You: Take it easy.
Stranger: Thats what the dog said 😀 when i started raping it 😀
Stranger: do you have a sister?
You: I don’t think so.
Stranger: mother fucker
You: Sorry.
You: I have a dog though.
Stranger: Can i rape it 😀
You: I don’t think you can.
You: But sure.
Stranger: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Stranger: I will once again feel the warmth of he inside of a dog as my pulsating man rocket launches into the warm black hole 😀
You: Hello, I am from the American Assocation for Abuse and Rape. I have asked that this network connect me to you directly, as I have yet to tap into any other forms of contacts with you. You are under investigation by our assocation under accusation of pedophilia and molestation via this chatting network. I do request you admittedly write out your statement and/or confession at this time, along with any contact details and further sources of contact. If you do not agree to these terms, our associates will be forced to track your internet provider and obtain details from said sources, thus, an associate of ours will issue a warrant for your arrest and further investigation.
Stranger: i ust got out of prison
You have disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: you knock me off of my feet, baby. whoo!
You: What comes after ??
You: Is it ?+1?
Stranger: michael jackson’s real nose
You: Wouldn’t ?+1=??
Stranger: fuck your math
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: There are twigs and berries on my bush.
Stranger: why do you say that there am twigs and berries on your bush.??
You: Twigs and berries are cocks.
You: Therefore, my bush has cocks.
Stranger: i see. and what does that tell you?
You: They don’t fuck anyone, though.
You: They just sit there.
You: Kinda odd, don’t you think?
Stranger: please tell me more.
Stranger: how do you feel when you say that?
You: Very amused.
You: Partly because you have chosen to pretend to be a psychologist instead of disconnecting like any decent person would.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Oh, CRAP!
Stranger: What??????????
You: Argh, sorry to drag you into this…
You: But,
You: I have explosive diarrhea!
Stranger: CLEAN IT UP
You: And it’s getting EVERYWHERE!
Stranger: GO GET THE LEMON PLEDGE
You: It’s all over my hands!
You: I can’t!
Stranger: OH MY GOD WE NEED A DOCTOR
You: And it’s leaking all over the place!
You: Help me!
Stranger: Shit, okay okay calm down
You: Oh, no, here it comes again!
Stranger: UH UH…… TISSUE
Stranger: I NEED TOWELS AND TISSUE
You: I NEED A CONTAINER
You: A TOXIC WASTE DUMP
Stranger: OKAY THAT WORKS TOO
You: Oh, crap, oh crap!
You: It’s coming!
Stranger: WHERE CAN I FIND ONE?
You: I’m about to
You: *EXPLODES*
You have disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hhhhhhheeeeelllllllloooooo
You: What!?
You: How could you say that to me?!
Stranger: aaaahhhhh
You: Why the heck did you do that!?
You: I’ve never been so insulted in my whole life!
Stranger: i dont know
You: Why be such a jerk!!!!
Stranger: im sorry i love you
You: Oh my gosh, how horrible!
Stranger: plz dont leave me
You: Why don’t you just get a butcher knife and cut my heart into little pieces while you’re at it?
You have disconnected.
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Justin from Colorado? This is Emma from Australia.. We got disconnected. Hope we find each other again someday! Thanks for cheering me up and I hope you find a really nice girl in Colorado since I don’t live there. 😛
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: HI MALE 20 WITH WEBCAM NEED HORNY GIRL WITH WEBCAM
You: I have a webcam.
Stranger: come to msn…?
Stranger: johnny_129@hotmail.com
You: Uh-huh.
You: GFY
You: Because I am a girl with a dick.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: 0
You: 1
You: 1
You: 2
You: 3
You: 5
You: 8
You: 13
You: 21
Stranger: 22
You: 34
Stranger: 35
You: 55
Stranger: 56
You: 87
Stranger: 88
You: 144
Stranger: 145
You: 233
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: You are an idiot.
You: I just know that you will be another idiot.
Stranger: okay
You: Omegle is full of ’em.
Stranger: you’re right
You: There is no hiding from the idiots.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: The game.
Stranger: Hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: OMG hate you now! 😛
You: Oh, good.
Stranger: I LOST THE GAME! =D
You: I did too.
Stranger: We suck xD
You: We sure do.
Stranger: Age? Location? Gender? Sexuality?
You: I don’t feel that I have an obligation to disclose that personal information.
You: Besides, you might disconnect if I told you my gender. 😦
Stranger: Depends if your male or not 😀
You: Yes, it does.
You: Some individuals have demonstrated that discriminatory behavior before.
You: It’s annoying.
Stranger: What discrimiatary behavious?
You: “Discrimination toward or against a person of a certain group is the treatment or consideration based on class or category rather than individual merit.” – Wikipedia
You: I think that falls into that category.
Stranger: You confuse me. Since when was I discriminating against anything? :S
You: I have given you no personal data. Since you know nothing of my personal traits, you have little to discriminate on.
You: I was not postulating that you personally were discriminating.
You: I was simply noting that many individuals on Omegle demonstrate that behavior.
Stranger: Ok, you’re really wieard. Yes, that IS discriminating probably, but why are you talking all posh and quoting things off of Wikipedia about things I havent even done.
You: As I said before, I was not postulating that you, personally, were discriminating.
You: Nor was I implying it.
Stranger: Freak.
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Stranger: DO YOU LIKE DEATH METAL
You: YES
Stranger: SWEET
You: DO YOU LIKE PUSH UP POPS??
Stranger: ..
Stranger: fuck off
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You: Ahoy, and other nautical expressions!
Stranger: Harr!
You: How are you matey?
Stranger: Tossed and turned by the tides. And how might you be?
You: Seasick and withered by winds of fate…
Stranger: So who do we have onboard at this glorious hour?
You: Just say the word cap’n and we’ll be on our way!
Stranger: Best we be on our way!
You: Harr!
You: have an excellent idea, LETS CHANGE THE SUBJECT!
Stranger: Indeed. 😉
You: If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn’t be, and what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?
Stranger: I think I catch your drift
You: Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.
Stranger: This, then, would also be not as it seems
You: It would be so nice if something would make sense for a change.
Stranger: Perhaps it’d be up to me and you then, yes?
You: Perhaps in sanity, but, the time has come, my little friends, to talk of other things, of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings, and why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wigs, Calloo, Callay, come run away , with the cabbages and kings.
You: Harr!
You: Would you like a little more tea?
Stranger: My, my, where the trade winds of today have taken us!
Stranger: Why, thank you.
You: *Pours tea*
Stranger: Ahh. This is some fine tea.
You: Oh, by the way, if you’d really like to know, he went that way –>
Stranger: Who?
You: The White Rabbit.
Stranger: In a hurry, I see
You: If I were looking for a white rabbit, I’d ask the Mad Hatter.
You: Or, you could ask the March Hare, in that direction. –>
You: Of course, he’s mad, too.
Stranger: I would much rather see a Cheshire Cat, would you happen to know of one?
You: Well hello, you are speaking to one!
Stranger: Well, greetings, my fine friend!
You: All ways here you see, are the QUEEN’S WAYS!
Stranger: Such a curious backdrop I seem to have stumbled upon today
You: Have you met the Queen?
Stranger: I have not, but I would certainly love to
You: You haven’t? You HAVEN’T?!? Oh, but you must! She’ll be mad about you, simply mad!
Stranger: Do show me the way!
You: Well, some go this way, some go that way. But as for me, myself, personally, I prefer the shortcut.
Stranger: A shortcut??
Stranger: Might this be some perilous path?
You: Right through here! *Opens a secret door in the tree*
Stranger: But Cheshire, would you come and join me?
You: Why yes of course! You know? We could make the Queen *really* angry! Shall we try?
Stranger: *Giggles* That I wouldn’t mind!
You: It’s loads of fun!
You: *singing* ‘Twas brilig, and the slithy toves / Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: / All mimsy were the borogroves, / And the mome raths outgrabe.
You: Can you stand on your head?
Stranger: Well, I’ll try…
Stranger: Oh, heavens, no
Stranger: I’m sure you could!
Stranger: Cats are like dancers, so I’ve been told
You: *Smiles widely*
Stranger: Has anyone ever complimented you for your outlandish grin?
You: As of yet, no…
Stranger: Well, then, I shall be the first!
You: Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Stranger: Why?
You: Why what?
Stranger: Why is a raven like a writing desk?
You: I beg your pardon?
Stranger: Well I thought you’d know the answer
You: Why, dear child, would I know such nonsense?
Stranger: We are in such a world, you know
You: Curiosity often leads to trouble!
Stranger: I’ve always thought birds were a harmless fascination!
You: Oh, just as barbecue.
Stranger: Oh!
You: By the way, I have a few more helpful hints: One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow shorter.
Stranger: Perhaps I ought to take the former
You: Are you lost?
Stranger: Everything looks so strange!
Stranger: I see dancing in the distance
You: Oh, dancing!
Stranger: I think I’ve been spotted
You: By who?
Stranger: By the dancers. It is hard to miss someone so tall
You: Remember, the other side will make you grow shorter!
Stranger: Good gracious, they have emplored me to join them
You: Do they happen to be painting roses?
Stranger: Yes!
You: Oh my, you’re in trouble… *The Queen enters*
Stranger: It’s Her Majesty… what should I do??
You: Bow down! Oh no here she comes!
You: Who’s been painting my roses red?
Stranger: *Bows hastily*
You: WHO’S BEEN PAINTING MY ROSES RED?
Stranger: (Whispers) Should I admit…??
You: Who dares to taint / With vulgar paint / The royal flower bed? / For painting my roses red / Someone will lose his head!
Stranger: I… I HAVE!
Stranger: …Your Majesty!
You: Off with your head!
Stranger: But I was emplored!
You: *The king appears* Oh but dear, couldn’t we have a trial?
You: Just a little one?
Stranger: Please say yes
You: *Queen* A trial then! Fine! To the court room!
Stranger: Psst, Cheshire, I do not enjoy being manhandled this way!
You: Well, you did confess rather hastily… I’m afraid it’s out of my paws now…
You: *At the court room*
You: *Queen* Now then, are you ready for your sentence?
Stranger: Y–yes, I am.
You: *King* But there has to be a verdict first!
You: *Queen* Sentence first! Verdict afterwards.
You: *King* But that just isn’t the way.
You: *Queen* ALL WAYS ARE…!
You: *King* …your ways, dear.
You: *Queen* Now, March Hare; What do you know about this unfortunate affair?
You: *Hare* Nothing.
You: *Queen* Nothing whatever?
You: *Hare* NOTHING WHATEVER!
Stranger: But this hare is a witness!
You: *Queen* That’s very important! Jury, write that down!
You: Hey, it’s Cheshire here again…
Stranger: Thank goodness!
You: Remember: One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow shorter.
You: I suggest you take a bite of the “tall” side…
Stranger: I shall take your advice
You: *King* Wha… What is this?!? Rule 42: All persons more than a mile high must leave the court immediately!
Stranger: Cheshire, that’s me!
Stranger: I am walking out of this courtroom right this instant…
You: But you have the chance to get back at the Queen… Care for a few insults?
Stranger: Oh dear, um… tell her that she’s awfully plump for her age, and that I have arranged for her garden to be painted in rainbow colors
You: Ahem, QUEEN!!! The accused said that you’re a fat, pompous, bad tempered old tyrant! *you start shrinking*
You: *Queen* Say what?!?
Stranger: Oh!
You: *Shrinking*
You: A fat, pompous, bad tempered old tyrant!
You: *normal size*
You: *Queen* [giggles] And uh, just what were you saying, my dear?
Stranger: Well, that, um…
You: *Queen* Yes?
Stranger: I said that you looked awfully healthy for your age!
You: *Queen* Oh did you? I heard Cheshire here say otherwise… And you know what happens if I lose my temper, DON’T YOU?!?
You: Someone’s head IS GOING TO ROLL FOR THIS!
You: *White Rabbit enters*
Stranger: Now where is that thing that makes me grow taller…
You: [Blows horn] Your Majesty, members of the jury, loyal subjects… and the King… the prisoner at the bar stands accused of irritating Her Majesty, the Queen of Hearts, and with malice of forethought, molesting, tormenting, and otherwise annoying our beloved Queen to lose her temper.
You: *White Rabbit* The sentence:
*Queen* Off with her head!
Stranger: No!
You: Hello, Cheshire here again…
You: I’m sorry I got you into a bit of trouble…
Stranger: Yes I was going to ask you about that!
You: But there is a way out you know…
Stranger: Yes, do you have it?
You: No, you do. Just open your eyes, child, open your eyes…
Stranger: Oh!
You: *Voice from far away* Wake up!
Stranger: I’m awake!
Stranger: I’m finally awake.
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You: Do you use Windows 7?
Stranger: No
You: You suck shit.
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Stranger: Guess what?
You: Wat?
Stranger: You just lost the game! 😀
You: So did you.
Stranger: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
You: LOL
Stranger: fuck you anon!… you post this.
You: Will do.
Stranger: Thx.
Stranger: Let’s get back to trollin’, ‘kay?
You: Yup.
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@Nailuj: Can you say trying too hard?
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Long, funny, and rather unusual.
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You: Hello…
Stranger: greetings!!
Stranger: Do you like tacos?
You: Of course, in fact it would be safe to say I love tacos.
Stranger: So you dont prefer soft shell over hardshell?
You: Both ways are good, But I usually prefer the soft shell.
Stranger: that means you are 26 / m / new mexico. Taco’s is the new ASL
You: Oh Shi*.
Stranger: Actually since you like both, it could mean 25 / transgendered from illinois
You: lol
Stranger: i get my own rules mixed up
You: I’m definetly going to use that next time…
Stranger: no worries
Stranger: gotta mix it up now and again
Stranger: you can ask other neutral questions as well
Stranger: like fox news or cnn
You: lol
Stranger: and then whatever the response call thema commi and tell them to git out
Stranger: or better yet say paper or plastic
Stranger: and you can go all eco crazy on the insensitive bastids
You: lol
Stranger: or try stay on or get off.. all Speed circa 1990
Stranger: finish the bit off with Whoa before you tell them to eat a bag of dick
You: I’m going to have to copy this conversation so I can remember tall that.
Stranger: I like to break up with strangers
Stranger: let them know it’s not you it’s me
Stranger: gives people a complex
You: Wow…. I think I love you.
Stranger: wait.. this is moving too fast
Stranger: i think we should take some time apart
Stranger: absence makes the cock grow harder
You: Are you breaking up with me?
You: We’ve know eachother so long, and you want to ruin it now?
Stranger: i mean, maybe some day we can be together
You: Ok, well, I’m gonna go watch some lesbian porn. ~Have A Nice Day!~ 😀
Stranger: you too
Stranger: and me too
Stranger: !
Stranger: njoy
You: Oh, I will!
Stranger: parting is such sweet sorrow
Stranger: but panting is iight
Stranger: and petting is better
Stranger: but painting.. .now that is some midget amputee porn shit
You: lol
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You: You say blah, please.
You: SAY BLAH!
You: SAY IT!!!
Stranger: blah
You: Good!
You: Thanks.
Stranger: fuck this shitt you cunt
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Stranger: hi
You: hey
Stranger: asl?
You: male
You: huh u didnt disconected 😉
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Stranger: I have a hole in my pocket
You: I have a hole in my ass.
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You: Stop disconnecting on me!
Stranger: uhm
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Stranger: NIGGER ME
Stranger: POONTANG
Stranger: NIGGER ME POONANI
Stranger: POONTANG ME NIGGER POON
You: uhh, what?
Stranger: ARE YOU AMERICAN?
You: yeah
Stranger: WELL THEN WHY DONT YOU SPEAK AMERICAN
You: a) american is not a language
You: b) nobody talks like that here
Stranger: AMERICAN IS WHAT I WAS SPEAKING
You: goodbye, idiot.
Stranger: ITS THE FORM OF ENGLISH
You have disconnected.
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Omegle
Talk to strangers!
2963 users online
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Stranger: hi.
You: cyber?
Stranger: asl?
You: 19/F/ new mexico
Stranger: 18/m/ michigan
You: sounds good
Stranger: how tall are you?
You: 5’5″
Stranger: i’m 6’5”
You: hmm…
You: very nice
Stranger: what color hair?
You: brown
Stranger: my hair is blonde
Stranger: but not very bright blonde
You: i see
Stranger: what do you do for fun
You: swim and get on web cams from time to time
Stranger: cool.
Stranger: i have a webcam but i left it at my friends house
You: aww..
Stranger: what’s your name?
You: Uriko
Stranger: my name’s Eric
You: eric…hmm…
Stranger: what do you think
Stranger: lol
You: it is common, but nice
You: I’m just gonna cut to the chase. i’m a down-on-my-luck telemarketer who really needs to sell something. you want a little fan for your car?
Stranger: seriously? wow.
Stranger: I don’t have a car right now.
You: but i am a chick
You: but when u get a car, don’t you want a little somethin’ somethin’
You: hello?
Stranger: yeah, somethin somethin.
Stranger: I’ll throw your ass in the trunk and rape you later.
Stranger: lols
You: the fans come in many different colors
You: blue
You: red
You: orange
You: purple
Stranger: So does my cock.
Stranger: If I use condoms.
You: what is with all the harsh words now
Stranger: I don’t know.
Stranger: I’m sorry.
You: it’s fine
You: and so am I
Stranger: alright
Stranger: do you have myspace?
You: no because i am to bored male teenagers who just wasted your time
You: lol
Stranger: oh. that’s funny.
You: it is
Stranger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QI27R-MI1Sw
Stranger: What do you think of this band
You: you must be desperate, huh?
Stranger: desperate?
Stranger: of what?
Stranger: nigga plz
Stranger: eat yo pesa
Stranger: peas*
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You: Testicular cancer will curse you.
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You: XKCD, yus?
Stranger: hi!
You: But…. XKCD? :’-(
Stranger: i’m 12 and what is this?
You: Omegle, duh
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One of the less interesting ones:
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You: Itchy bum?
Stranger: hey
Stranger: no
You: Damn
You: Must be someone else…
Stranger: probably
You: Sorry for wasting your time. If you see them, tell them I said hi, yes?
Stranger: I will
Stranger: and no problem
You: Excellent. Thank you, kind sir!
Stranger: Don’t mention it
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You: What if God was “one of us”?
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One hit kill! 😀
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You: Interested in the theory behind the Relavity of Quantum Mechanics?
Stranger: No. Interested in egg?
You: EGG YOU SAY?!?!? What kind of egg? Scrambled?
Stranger: Raw
You: Ooh, hardcore! Bet you can’t drink it through a straw
Stranger: I don’t drink eggs. I eat them shell and all
You: I bet that hurts on the way back out
Stranger: THE GAME
You: …FUCK!
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Bitch got me good. :’-(
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You: Excuse me kind fellow, but have you found God?
Stranger: do you feel horny?
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DAMMIT! That one looked promising as well.
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You: I concur!
Stranger: no. u don’t
Stranger: egg.
You: …
You: is there a whole family of eggs here tonight or something?
Stranger: whole ebaumsworld
You: Sperm fertilises egg. I win again!
You: Ahh, I see
Stranger: no. egg fertilises sperm
You: O RLY?
Stranger: You lost the game.
Stranger: ya rly
You: …shit. But you just lost the game too!
Stranger: So we both lost. Tie now.
You: Truce, yus?
Stranger: Truce.
You: Exactly. So my first point was right; I do, in fact, concur 🙂
Stranger: Oh shi-
You: 😀
Stranger: I failed D:
You: It gets better with time, don’t worry
Stranger: im still a newfag D:
You: :-O!!!
You: NO WAI!
Stranger: O_O?’
You: 0_o
Stranger: o_0
You: O_D
Stranger: D_O
You: Must… not… fail…
You: I died
You: X_X
You: :’-(
Stranger: Yay. Win?
You: Yes
You: 😦
You: 1-1
Stranger: i bet you are from 4vhan
Stranger: 4chan*
You: I bet I am not
Stranger: you lost da bet
You: I can tell you now that I would win that bet if you had put monies on it
Stranger: nah.
Stranger: going to troll some other ppl.
Stranger: See ya
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ACTON HIGH IS SHIT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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ACTON HIGH SKOOL IS SOOOO SHIT I HATE IT SOOOOO MUCH
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stranger: i’m 18, got muscle
you: i’m 16, i need to exercise
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hahaha discrimination alert! though i’m not fat, just that i missed my jogging trip today….? 😛
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