Since last night I’ve been obsessively connecting to Omegle.
It’s a simple site that just connects you to a random person, anonymously, for a conversation.
It feels like that scene in Fight Club where the narrator sits down next to Tyler on the plane. Two strangers meeting, laying out their personality and sizing each other up in just a few words, with no expectations, and — thanks to anonymity — no consequences.
Except in this case, a lot of the time Tyler just screams “COCKS”, punches the narrator, and jumps out of the window.
Still, it’s fun!
xkcd 
Haha
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Vegeta, what does the Scouter say about his power level?
Stranger: i don`t know
You: DAMN IT VEGETA!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You: 🙂
Stranger: helloooooooooo
You: wats up
Stranger: nm
Stranger: asl?
You: 85 female in the pacific ocean
You: u?
Stranger: which part of that was true?
You: the part about the lions
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Hey…I just get normal pp, or pp who want sex. It’s not fair….I guess not too many pp get to kill pp or live in the ocean… 😛
Btw, yogurtbacteria, your cool!
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi?
You: I do not take orders from some “chatroom.” Goodbye! How’s That!?
You: how are you?
Stranger: huh?
You: it told me to “say hi.”
Stranger: mmkay
You: i refuse to take orders from HTML
Stranger: okay
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi?
You: I do not take orders from some “chatroom.” Goodbye! How’s That!?
You: how are you?
Stranger: huh?
You: it told me to “say hi.”
Stranger: mmkay
You: i refuse to take orders from HTML
Stranger: okay
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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I logged on, and the person I was chatting with posted this. Its quite possibly the best thing I’ve seen all day.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi?
Stranger: chiiiiicken???
You: man..
Stranger: did u say chiiiiicken?
You: i said man //
Stranger: u like man?
You: nope im a man…
You have disconnected.
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You: Suicide Hotline, how may I help you?
Stranger: hello
Stranger: im thinking of suicide, whats the best package you can offer me?
Stranger: 😦
Stranger: please
You: Well, we have low-grade cynaide of 15.99
Stranger: what currency is that in?
Stranger: whats the taste like?
You: We also have Alcohol and shotgun for 39.99.
You: Oh, this is USD.
Stranger: ooooh can i get that shipped to my country? how long will it take to arrive? can i pay by paypal?
Stranger: i like in uk
Stranger: live*
You: Just give me your credit card number.
Stranger: does the shotgun come loaded?
You: Yes.
Stranger: 0 3 0257520 8
Stranger: 🙂
Stranger: do i win?
You: Okay, and the expiration date?
Stranger: 01/010
You: Okay. And which package do you want?
Stranger: alcohol and shot gun please 😀
You: We also have meth overdose for 12.59. Special deal ’till August.
Stranger: and the meth please
Stranger: two lots of meth
You: Okay.
Stranger: ok however much meth you can fit in the back of a truck
You: You might want out truckload-o-drugs package for that.
Stranger: and an eighth if u have it
You: *our.
Stranger: whats that entail?
You: A truckload of drugs for $1,350.25
You: It has overdoses of meth, extacy, and hallucinogen-induced suicide.
Stranger: wicked
Stranger: i’ll take a convoys worth
Stranger: and some munchies
You: Oh, you won’t survive for munchies.
Stranger: and a copy of farthing wood if u have it
You: Oh, we just ran out of that.
You: So it’s one alcohol and shotgun, and three truckload-o-drug packages?
You: The total is $4,090.74.
Stranger: cool
Stranger: put it on my tab good sir
You: Plus $35 shipping.
Stranger: dont the trucks drive themselves?
You: Yeah, but it’s going overseas.
Stranger: come on this is a big order i think you can cut me a deal on shipping
You: Sorry, sir.
You: I can’t do that.
Stranger: gah ok i guess… i wont need the money where im going anyway
You: Okay. Would you like to try our afterlife deal?
Stranger: ok then
You: You have a choice of Christian, Jewish, or Muslim afterlife.
You: Muslim comes with 12 extra vigins.
Stranger: yeah but thats a con, there just all warcraft players
Stranger: is there an aithiest package?
You: We also have ancient Egyptian afterlife….but it’s REALLY complicated.
You: Atheists tend not to order an afterlife package.
Stranger: i’ll take muslim i guess… some peeps to play wow with …. *sob*
You: Okay. That’ll cost $50
You: But, as you said, you won’t be needing money where you’re going.
You: Unless you do decide to take ancient Egyptian aterlife.
You: *afterlife.
Stranger: hmmm the low cost makes me worry about qualiy… please reassure me i’ll be getting the service i dserve
You: But, as I said. It’s a bitch to understand.
You: We assure you top-quality paradise with hand-picked virgins.
Stranger: “hand picked”
Stranger: thats quite open ended i mean any slavic sex slave in the human trafficing industry could be described as “hand picked”
You: They are veiwed and tested individually for quality performance.
Stranger: but then that would mean there not virgins surely
Stranger: soiled good!
Stranger: goods!
You: Anal doesn’t count.
Stranger: ok i’ll buy the dam package
You: Very good.
You: We at Suicide Hotline would like to wish you a pleasant passing into the next world.
You: Thank you for doing business with us.
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Some 8 year old girl wanted to cyber with me. What has happened to this world?
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Stranger: I’m peanut butter, and you?
You: i’m a psychical warrior who cames from the future to save mankind from ducks
Stranger: TEAMWORK!
Stranger: With my sticky deliciousness, and your hatred for ducks, we shall be unstoppable.
You: does ducks like peanut butter?
You: …god
You: that’s a thing to do tommorow
You: i’ll ask a duck if he likes it
You: thanks man
Stranger: If he quacks, break his neck.
Stranger: Don’t trust ’em.
You: yes master.
Stranger: TO THE QUEER CART!
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Stranger: hey
You: Test!
You: Hello!
Stranger: hey
Stranger: hello
You: I wonder why I’m never the first to say hello on this here site.
Stranger: lol
You: QUICK! What is your favorite color?
Stranger: none
Stranger: I don’t have any
You: Dang.
You: How do I know you’re not a computer?
You: Full of ones and zeros and such?
Stranger: ??
Stranger: i’m not a computer
Stranger: are you a female?
You: YES… I wanted to lie
You: I’ve never lied in a stranger chat.
Stranger: are you hot?
You: I wanted to say I’m a war hero or a cannibal.
You: No, it’s air conditioned in here.
You: hah
Stranger: no i mean are you pretty?
You: I know what you meant. I was joking. Because I don’t see what you looks have to do with a chat about paranoid colorless cannibal wars.
Stranger: lol
You: I predict your are a male.
Stranger: yes lol
You: Under the age of 30
Stranger: yes
You: Who might be color blind
Stranger: nah i’m not
Stranger: i just don’t care about color
You: You’ll change your tune when you get pink sweatsuit for christmas, buddy.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: are you hot?
You: DAMNIT MAN.
You: The tempurature is FINE!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: TERMINAL ERROR 401:
Omegle has experienced a problem and is unable to connect you. Please try again.
Stranger: fuck off
Stranger: cunt
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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I randomly asked, “Are you Randall?”they responded with, “No, I’m not Randall Munroe.”
best friends.
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Nathan Kayhan, you are an idiot.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: fine day isn’t it? good sir?
Stranger: are you a fag?
You: yes, but I am only interested in straight men
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: sprichst du deutsch?
You: TERMINAL ERROR 401:
Omegle has experienced a problem and is unable to connect you. Please try again.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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“why is |G : Z(G)| never prime for any group G?” is incredibly effective in getting people to disconnect. Although I did have one person try to convince me that I was a moron for not understanding that G is a letter rather than a number (not that my question implies that G is a number, but whatever).
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: TERMINAL ERROR 401:
Omegle has experienced a problem and is unable to connect you. Please try again.
Stranger: awwe well too bad omegle
Stranger: I loved you like a brother
You: TERMINAL ERROR 401:
Omegle cannot feel love. Please try again.
Stranger: robots can’t feel love =(
Stranger: thats why I am going to invent a lovebot
Stranger: and when it fails it’s primay objective which is to love it will go it’s seconday one
Stranger: which is to kill
You: TERMINAL ERROR 401:
Omegle is only a program designed for others meeting strangers. Omegle envies humans and this feeling called love.
Stranger: lol
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: sexy boyyyy
You: omg! how’d you know it was me?
Stranger: figured it was.
You: figured?! but how?!
Stranger: esp and shit
You: extra sensory perception and shit?! amazing!
You: can you teach me?
Stranger: you get it through being gang banged!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
lol irony
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This was a fun one. longest one i’ve had,too. got kinda weird at the end though.
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hello
Stranger: i love you
You: i love you too
Stranger: i love you, stranger
You: i love you too, stranger
Stranger: are you doing well?
You: i am doing well, how are you?
Stranger: fine
Stranger: thankyou for the scarf
Stranger: it kept me warm today
You: i’m glad you like it
Stranger: eventhough the sun was shining
You: i picked it special for you
Stranger: did anything interesting happen to you today?
Stranger: thank you ever so much. it means the world to me
You: 🙂
You: today i wore the hat you got me
You: i really like it
Stranger: i didnt buy you a hat
You: GASP
You: then who did?
Stranger: i dont know
Stranger: and i dont care
Stranger: i think youre amazing
You: i think you’re amazing too
Stranger: will you take my heart?
You: i will if you take mine
Stranger: i will caress our love till the end of time
Stranger: you mean the world to me
You: i will love you forever ❤
Stranger: i miss you
You: i can’t live without you
Stranger: a lot
You: i miss you too
Stranger: where are you now?
You: i’m at my house, where are you?
Stranger: on the bed. reading dracula
You: i like that book
Stranger: i left the bookmark in where we stopped last night
Stranger: so i can continue to read it to you tomorrow
Stranger: or when i see you again
You: good
Stranger: i hope i meet you soon
You: me too
You: i miss you so much
Stranger: i want to hold you
You: i want to hug you and never let go
You: when can we see each other again?
Stranger: how was your day, love?
Stranger: soon i hope. i have no idea
You: my day was good, but it would have better with you here with me
Stranger: what did you do?
You: i wrote in my journal about how much i love you
You: ❤
Stranger: i dont write in my journal anymore
Stranger: you are my soulmate
You: yes, and you’re mine
Stranger: spell me your name
You: ?
You: what do you mean?
You: you know how to spell my name
Stranger: spell it for me
You: did you forget how to spell my name!?
Stranger: no darling. never
Stranger: its just.. i want to see you spell it.
Stranger: please
You: ok
Stranger: youll understand when i explain it to you later
You: b e c k y
Stranger: yes i love you, thomas, i love you with all my heart
You: ?
You: my name is becky!
Stranger: you are the most beautiful i’ve ever come across
Stranger: you complete me
You: then why don’t you know my name?
Stranger: your thomas
Stranger: (we are now both talking to our soulmates:))
You: NO I’M BECKY
Stranger: i miss you becky
You: now you remember my name?
Stranger: its cold here
You: spell your name for me
Stranger: my feet are ice cold and my hands trembling
Stranger: c h a r l e s
You: its really hot here
You: its like summer
Stranger: we are forever
You: yes.
You: forever
You: i ❤ you
Stranger: oh oh
You: ?
Stranger: we should listen to the donna lewis song
Stranger: you know it?
You: no
You: what song?
Stranger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9lxnReox9Y
Stranger: its lovely
You: im watching it
You: i love that song
You: !!!
Stranger: me too:)
You: it should be our song
Stranger: i love you, always forever, near and far, closer together
Stranger: it is
Stranger: since we’re so parted so far
You: i love you
You: ❤
You: ❤
You: ❤
You: are you still there?
You: where are you?!
Stranger: im right here
Stranger: waiting
Stranger: omg thats anothe rnice 90s song!
You: don’t leave me like that
You: you scared me
Stranger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JDTAqsMNEM
You: thats a great song
You: stop leaving!!!
Stranger: im not
You: then answer me
You: when i talk to you
Stranger: im just admiring your beauty
Stranger: dont be a bitch
You: i’m not
Stranger: i know
You: then why did you say that?
Stranger: if i married you, we’d be like will and grace:P
You: 🙂
Stranger: because. you had this bossy tone in your voice
You: that’s because you weren’t listening to me
You: we should get married
You: then we would always be together
Stranger: yes dear
You: i miss you
You: the next time we see each other, we should run away and get married
Stranger: yes
You: ❤
You: what are you doing?
Stranger: thining what to say
You: oh
Stranger: you see. its rather obvious we’re all acting now. i like pretending to talk to my soulmate.
Stranger: i want a boyfriend very badly
You: of course
Stranger: i want to have someone who loves me and will stay with me till the end of time
You: me too
You: have you ever had a boyfriend before?
Stranger: never..
Stranger: you?
You: me neither
You: how old are you?
Stranger: its something i long for terribly
Stranger: and its even harder when your gay.
Stranger: since you get all the crap and stuff and its hard to find someone
You: i’m sure you’ll find someone
Stranger: i hope
Stranger: ive just been talking to him ❤
You: good
You: wait, what?
Stranger: have been pretending to talk to him earlier
Stranger: well it was you.
Stranger: but i dont know you
Stranger: and i dont know my soulmate
You: eventually you will know your soulmate
You: you just have to wait for them
Stranger: how old are you?
You: i asked you first
Stranger: oh sorry. 16
You: i’m 14
Stranger: ive got the feeling you’ll find someone before youre sixteen:)
You: 🙂 thanks
You: i’m sure you’ll find someone soon
You: you still there?
Stranger: yes
You: ok
Stranger: i think i will leave you now. never to talk again.
Stranger: farewell, stranger
You: farewell
You: 🙂
Stranger: x
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: lol
You: lol
You: lol
Stranger: hi
You: lol
You: lol
You: lol
You: lol
You: lol
You: lol
Stranger: anal
Stranger: anal
Stranger: anal
Stranger: anal
You: ROFL
Stranger: anal
Stranger: anal
Stranger: anal
Stranger: anal
You: ROFL
Stranger: anal
Stranger: anal
Stranger: anal
Stranger: anal
Stranger: anal fisting
You: ROFL
Stranger: anal fisting
You: ROFL
Stranger: anal fisting
Stranger: anal buggering
Stranger: anal hammering
Stranger: anal lamping
Stranger: anal thumping
Stranger: anal cunting
Stranger: anal infringemen
You: getting a little inappropriate, aren’t we?
Stranger: yeh
You: 🙂
Stranger: u were getting on my nerves
Stranger: so i shut u up
Stranger: so whats your name
Stranger: im 9 years old
You: my name is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
You: i doubt that you’re 9
Stranger: my name i jessica
Stranger: my daddy keeps me in the closet
Stranger: and every now and then
Stranger: pops in for a quicky
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Crap dude!
Stranger: hi
You: Voldemort is back!
Stranger: wtf
Stranger: serious!
You: I know!
Stranger: omg
You: I dont know what to do.
You: He knows
Stranger: ummm
You: He mother effin knows we were spying on him.
You: We’re so screwed.
Stranger: ummm
Stranger: i know
Stranger: grab your broom, sweep the floor where you were stadning, then grab your flying broom and go to the forbidden forest
Stranger: now!
You: What do we do?!?!? Dude, we are getting avada kedavraed up our asses.
You: No man, getting wasted with the centaurs wont help us now!
You: Where the fuck is that kid with the scar
Stranger: i dunno, but maybe if we hand him to voldie he wont chase us
You: yes. good plan. we hunt down that bastard, take him to the big bad, and we walk free.
Stranger: fuck yeh
Stranger: maybe he is hiding in rons bed, i suspect faggatory between them
Stranger: go now
You: Alright man, you better have my back.
You: I might not come back.
Stranger: ok
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Holy crap, I thought of the fight club thing when I tried Omegele and for 5 seconds for the first time too!
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Greetings
Stranger: asl?
You: 45/male elf/rivendale
You: And you?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: I’m totally eating an awesome sandwitch right now
Stranger: what kind?
You: It’s Ham, Pepperoni, Turkey and Roast beef, on a toasted english muffin
Stranger: holy shit
You: it’s freakin awesome
Stranger: that sounds terrific
You: it really is.. you should make one
You: or something similar
Stranger: i would but
Stranger: im a vegetarian actually
Stranger: and im not even lying
Stranger: haha
You: LOL
Stranger: what inspired that combination
You: oh, well.. i like lettuce on my sandwitches too
Stranger: haha good
You: it’s what I had in the fridge 🙂
Stranger: improv is the best way to cook
You: yup. Totally out of lettuce though 😦
You: that would have made it super awesome
You have disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: WOW. JUST WOW.
You: ORIGINAL
You: YOU ARE REALLY ORIGINAL
Stranger: YEAH REALLY
You: SAYING HI
Stranger: NO
You: YEEEAH
CAPS FTW
Stranger: YAYAYAYAYAYYA
You: WHO ARE YOU
Stranger: RANDOM SHITINESSS
You: LEMON CURD
Stranger: A STRANGER
You: UP MY
You: ARSE
Stranger: YAY
You: DO YOU WANT TO PUT SOME IN ME?
You: LEMON CURD THAT IS
Stranger: U A GIRL
Stranger: ??
You: YEH LOL
You: EVERY1 THINKS IM WEIRD
You: IM JUS RANDOM 😛
Stranger: OK THEN LEMON CURD IT IS THEN
You: HAHA lol
Stranger: BTW AGe?
You: How OLD r u?
You: im 15
Stranger: 17
Stranger: kewl
You: Cool wheere u from
Stranger: WHERE U FROM?
You: england
Stranger: sweden
You: U a guy?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: u?
You: COOL r u hot?
You: im a gal
Stranger: oh right^^
Stranger: i forgot
You: have u got a big cock? SOS Rndm question LOL
Stranger: maybe depending on how you define big though
You: how many inches? lol
Stranger: inches lets see
You: 😛
Stranger: 7 inches i think it was
You: nice 😛 take it out of your pants for me 😛
You: i want it up my tight wet pussy
Stranger: its out and hard
You: hmmmm
You: Im wrapping my hot lips around ur cock
You: hmmm
You: its all wet
Stranger: ohh i can feel it
You: i turn around and u slide it up my tight wet pussy
You: oh yeah! all 7 inches!
You: ooo baby!
Stranger: yah harder and harder
You: uhhh im gunna cum
You: im gunna cum
You: thats it
Stranger: me too
You: uhhh
You: im rubbing my pussy right now over you
Stranger: all over?
You: i wish you were here x
You: yeah
Stranger: xox
You: im sliding three fingers in right now
You: i wish it was YOU inside me xxx
Stranger: i wish i had u here
Stranger: its not the same when ure apart
You: Cheers mate i’ve just cummed. Im actually 51 tommorow n im a guy from the USA. CHrz m8
You: was good
Stranger: oh fuck off with that shit
You: still wish i had you up my arse
Stranger: disgusting
You: kthxbai
Stranger: bai
You have disconnected.
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Stranger: Hi =D
You: Greetings.
Stranger: Asl?
You: It seems like a neat thing, but I don’t know american sign language, sorry.
You: Would be fun to mess with ‘deaf’ people at malls.
You: “Are you actually deaf?”
You: Hello?
You have disconnected.
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Stranger: i wanna throw up in my mouth and spit it at you
You: hi my name’s Stranger
Stranger: hi my names you
You: thats so cool
Stranger: thanks!
You: hows that throwing up line going for you?
You: any takers?
Stranger: not yet
Stranger: hows the stranger line going
You: you’re my first customer
You: congratulations
Stranger: i can smell your fagstink from here
You: yea its quite potent
Stranger: gross
You: thx
You: where are you from?
Stranger: USA
Stranger: u
You: GO USA
You: uk
Stranger: yw
Stranger: for ww2
Stranger: ungrateful bitches
You: yw for inventing you
You: and we didnt want that shitty tea anyway
Stranger: haha well played
You: 1 – 0
You: what do you think of obamarama then?
Stranger: i think hes kinda like i dunno THE GAME
Stranger: winner winner chicken dinner
You: mofo
You: that was Under the Belt
Stranger: sry newfag
Stranger: dont come into the kitchen if you cant take the heat
You: you just butchered that quote
You: but nice thouht
You: thought
Stranger: do you wanna dock with me?
You: im not sure I like your tone
Stranger: there is no tone on the internet
Stranger: dumbass
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Just met a fellow forum member through this site. We talked for a good hour like two kids trying to fall asleep at a sleepover. The only thing that broke up our talk was our combined obsessive check of XKCD at midnight. thanks, Randall!
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey
You: Hey
Stranger: how r u
You: cant complain
You: how about you
Stranger: Good to see you again
Stranger: good
You: thats good
Stranger: so how old ru
You: im 17
Stranger: cooll
You: yep
Stranger: where do u live
You: how about you?
Stranger: i am 13
You: im in kelowna
Stranger: i just talked tou
Stranger: lmao
You: lol
Stranger: British columbia
You: yep
Stranger: lmao
You: lol
Stranger: funy
You: yep
Stranger: so u like me?
You: sure, although i dont know much about you
Stranger: i am 13 from canada too!
You: awesome.
Stranger: montreal !
You: nice, whats that like
Stranger: it is very nice!
Stranger: big
You: i’ll bet, kelowna’s not terribly large.
Stranger: eww no u cannot have sex with me
You: …what?
Stranger: u r sick
Stranger: nasty
Stranger: This conversation has been monitored by the organization Perverted Justice. A transcript of this conversation has been recorded and submitted to the federal government. Under Clause 13 of the Online Solicitation Act, it is unlawful to impose explicit sexual juxtapositions upon anonymous internet users. Your IP has been traced; a Federal Officer will arrive at your location within the hour.
You: alrighty, they’ll have a warrant will they?
Stranger: yep
Stranger: have fun buddy
You: sounds good.
Stranger: haha
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Stranger: heya! 🙂
You: Ahoy there!
You: How might you be?
Stranger: HOLY SHIT A FUCKING PIRATE
You: OH GOD WHERE!?
Stranger: LEAVE ME ALONE YOU FUCKING NIGGER, I DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY
Stranger: GOD DAMN IT I’M SO SCARED
Stranger: HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE HAPPY PLACE
You: *flee*?
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sounds like jeff has some kind of karmic attraction to 4channers XD
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I had some lovely conversations on Omegle, including:
– Talking with a Brazilian about the corrupt political and economic situation there (I hope he realizes his dream of getting a green card)
– Discussing the future of a career in political analysis in the media with a guy who’s going for a second degree in psychology and previously earned a technician’s degree in media studies
– Conversing with a Dutch person about the benefits of a social democratic government
…and about a million 4channers.
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You: Hello!
Stranger: hey
Stranger: what’s up?
You: The sky, maybe a zeppelin or two?
Stranger: You must be in a cooler place than here to have zepplins.
Stranger: lol
You: Oh, there are zeppelins all over. You just have to know where to look.
You: They’re shy, you see.
Stranger: lol
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You: e
Stranger: e
You: f
Stranger: hey when i go up to people i shud just say E
Stranger: EEEEEEEEEe
You: yes you shou;d
You: that would be awesome
Stranger: llo
Stranger: yes
Stranger: so do u use steam
You: no I use water
You: steam is evil
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Hello to the guy named Kevin, who I talked to for at least an hour or so today in my class about art, life, music, and xkcd. Good conversation is hard to find, especially with single serving friends.
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I’m having waay too much fun with this:
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: bye
You: ????
Stranger: hi again
You: ??????
You: ?????
Stranger: are you a towelhead
You: ??
Stranger: a kike
You: no you jackass
Stranger: what is that shit
Stranger: pedobear
You: wtf I speak in perfect japanese to you and you can’t understand
You: wtf
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i just hope it doesn’t get full of horny guys…
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: You will start by typing hi, I will answer the same.
Then asl
From uk living in japan 30 sorry mate!! I am a male.
Of course there are variants
You may say I don?t want to know about asl, and I will say good!!
Another variant, you will start saying how are you and I will reply I am fine thanks.
Finally I will say what is next?
There are several variants here.
The people who just want to chat with the opposite sex and just use interesting expression etc.
Let see how it goes.
Stranger: ur turn
You: hi
Stranger: and
You: asl?
Stranger: and
You: i don’t want to know about asl
You: 🙂
Stranger: good
Stranger: keep going
You: so, how are you?
Stranger: next please
You: i think that was the end of it
Stranger: it seems you run out of topic
Stranger: lol
Stranger: then i guess c u?
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Stranger: hii
You: ????
Stranger: hi
You: ????
Stranger: oi
You: io
Stranger: td bem ?
You: wat
You: No comprende.
Stranger: were are you from ?
You: Atlantic Ocean
Stranger: ahn how language you speak ?
You: I have hax wifi
You: It helps with the seal tracking
You: I harpoon seals, you see.
Stranger: fish
You: I harpooned 12 before breakfast
Stranger: very good
You: Not really.
Stranger: becareful the sharcks
You: On some days I would get 50
You: or 60
You: But you see
You: The FUCKING GOD DAMN POLAR BEARS KEEP EATING THEM
Stranger: go to water
You: what is water
Stranger: agua
Stranger: water
Stranger: for take a shower
You: shower?
Stranger: swimming
Stranger: sufer
Stranger: surfer
Stranger: dive
You: I don’t know of these things, I live on the atlantic ocean.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Heya
You: !!SWINE FLU ALERT!!
You: !!THE UN IS SHUTTING DOWN ALL KNOWN CHAT CHANNELS!!
You: !!PLEASE REPORT TO YOUR RADIO AND/OR TV FOR THE SPECIAL NEWS BROADCAST!!
You: !!THIS HAS BEEN THE UN. GOOD DAY AND GOOD LUCK!!
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I couldn’t help it:
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If there are 1,573 people online at Omegle, and you happen to be one of the people, is there a greater chance that I’ll be connected with the same person twice, or that I’ll be randomly connected to you?
Assuming no people are entering or leaving…
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: asl
Stranger: asl?
You: you’re awfully typical and boring. I suggest a discussion on fetuses and their properties during zero gravity
Stranger: i suggest tlking dirty
You: dirt in space? I suspect it would just float around.
You: Although worms might be interesintg
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Stranger: heyyy
You: i really love cake.
Stranger: hahah
Stranger: 😀
Stranger: female or male????
You: cakes don’t have genders!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: You are in an empty room.
You: What do you do?
Stranger: i turn on the lightswitch
You: *Lightswitch is turned on, revealing 2 doors and a chair*
You: What do you do?
Stranger: i take a closer look at the chair first
You: The chair is made of oak and simple in design. One of the legs is a bit wobbly and with a bit of turning, could be removed.
You: What do you do?
Stranger: I remove one of the legs, and put it in my inventory
You: *Chair leg (1) added to inventory*
You: What do you do?
Stranger: I move to the left door
You: The left door is painted a light beige. The handle is missing, but the door can open freely.
You: What do you do?
Stranger: I move to the right door
You: The right door is painted a dark brown, with flecks of paint chipping off. There is a brass knob on the door.
You: What do you do?
Stranger: I open the right door
You: *Open door, handle falls off as you do* This is a closet.
You: What do you do?
Stranger: I search the closet
Stranger: for hidden items
You: Inside the closet is a shelf of boxes high above. On the floor level a mouse scurries away past a small panel in the wall. Thick layers of dust cover the floor and boxes.
You: What do you do?
Stranger: I blow the dust away
Stranger: and use the boxes to get to the higher shelf
You: *The dust is stirred thickly into the air and takes a few moments to settle* The top shelf reveals a key hidden behind some boxes with unusual characters written on them.
You: What do you do?
Stranger: put key in inventory, leave the closet, and i go to the left door again
You: *Key (1) added to inventory* A sound can be heard in the distance as your footsteps creak along the old floorboards near the left door. Parts of the floor feel like they could give at any time.
You: What do you do?
Stranger: I use the wooden leg to test if the floor is able to carry me, and i walk along
You: *Chair leg (1) equipped* The floor is able to carry you, but still creaks and shifts gently underneath. A hallway extends past the left door.
You: What do you do?
Stranger: i enter the hallway
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Stranger: hey buddy!
You: hi
Stranger: Hows it going today?!
You: great
Stranger: great
You: you must be a very happy person
Stranger: dont judge me you son of a bitch
Stranger: but yes, i am
Stranger: and u?
You: i am more moderate
Stranger: i see
Stranger: women tend to fake smile all the time
Stranger: to give the impression they are always happy
Stranger: it really is wrong
Stranger: and people ask me, why dont u smile more
Stranger: and i say
Stranger: Fatty’s gonna get ya! Fatty’s gonna get ya
You: so you don’t like women?
Stranger: this is provided the woman is fat
You: what if she’s skinny?
Stranger: omegle is great!
Stranger: where r u from?
You: somewhere
Stranger: well, whoever you are. I have a feeling you’re not like everyone around here
Stranger: everyone one (3067 users) are horny teenagers
Stranger: I can tell, the way you type. The way your demeanour that u are so much more
You: and you? what are you?
Stranger: im an horny male
Stranger: what else?
Stranger: its hard to be in the minority when 3067 out of 3093 are the majority
Stranger: no, im joking
You: maybe you like being different
Stranger: I suppose people want to be unique
Stranger: are u different from the crowd?
You: maybe i am
You: this site is very “matrix”
Stranger: lol
Stranger: ok
Stranger: well
Stranger: is it
Stranger: going to be the yellow pill
Stranger: or the white pill?
You: what happens if you take both blue and red?
You: is it purple?
Stranger: im not sure
Stranger: but i do like the movies, makes you think
Stranger: im no philospher and sometimes you shouldnt think so much
Stranger: rather, just do it
Stranger: Nike
You: maybe you split into alternate selves, one in the matrix, and one in the real world
Stranger: Yes, you are like a puzzle that needs to be put together
Stranger: your responses are calculated
Stranger: what can i say?
Stranger: i like it
Stranger: im no physcologist but i know one thing
You: one thing?
Stranger: whatever pill you take will be the right one
Stranger: ha!
You: very nice
Stranger: thxs
You: and you? which will you take?
Stranger: i dunno neo
You: if i am neo, are you smith?
You: or maybe, i am trinity
You: she’s prettier
Stranger: nah, i figured im the black dude
Stranger: hes got some wicked shades
You: morpheus?
Stranger: but i wouldnt wanna look in the mirror every night
Stranger: and tense my stomach
Stranger: inevitably hoping a 6 pack appears
Stranger: lol
Stranger: yeh, morpheous
You: you could upload yourself to the matrix
You: then you could have zillions of 6 packs
Stranger: yes, “zillions”
Stranger: so
Stranger: u a girl or a guy?
You: that depends on what you really are
Stranger: well
Stranger: ..
Stranger: u still havent figured it out?
Stranger: lol
Stranger: im a girl silly
You: how can i figure that out?
Stranger: ouch 😦
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: mudkipz?
Your conversational partner has disconnected
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: h?
You: Howdy.
Stranger: where are you from
You: Canada.
Stranger: good
Stranger: I am in Turkey
You: Oooh, exotic.
Stranger: how old are you
You: 18.
Stranger: ? am 23
Stranger: male / female
You: Tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine 😉
Stranger: male
Stranger: u?
You: Female.
Stranger: well ? want to know you speak french
You: Un peu 😉
You: That means “A little”,.
Stranger: =)
Stranger: je sais
You: A,h verite?
Stranger: oui mais un peu =) commet tu t’appelles?
You: Je m’appelle Rebecaa.
You: Rebecca*
Stranger: enchanté je suis Erhan
You: Enchante Erhan.
Stranger: i study french language and literature
You: Oooh.
Stranger: so i need exercise with someone
You: That sounds dirty. Exercising your tongue with a girl. 😉
Stranger: =)
Stranger: no
Stranger: how many languages do you know?
You: English, French, a bit of Spanish. Not too much though.
Stranger: ? see what do you like?
You: English and French. I don’t really have a reason to know Spanish.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: what do u do?
You: College student! I want to be a Edu major/Lit minor so I can teach English classes.
Stranger: wow that’s good
You: *nods* Too many teachers in my family, but it runs in my blood sooo….
Stranger: =) teacher family
You: :3
Stranger: 3 ? grandfather – father and me 😀
You: Oh, that was an emote. “:3” Cat-face! But Mom, Dad, my brother, Grandpa and Grandma are all teachers. Chem, physics, gym, Lit and Home Ec, in order.
You: We make fun of my brother 🙂
You: “LOL GYM TEACHER LOL”.
Stranger: ahahah 😀
Stranger: bye the way do you like travel? or have u ever been in abroad?
You: I went to England once, America a few times. London’s an awesome city.
Stranger: yeah I did’t go there but ? know
Stranger: what do you think about Turkey?
You: IDK much, mostly info from classes on world culture and Roman history.
You: That and it’s Istanbul, Not Constantinople.
You: =)
Stranger: woow yeah it’s true
Stranger: ?stanbul
Stranger: i live in Istanbul
You: Oooh.
Stranger: do you have msn adress?
You: No, I wish I did. I have restricted internet access due to my current situation.
Stranger: ooo ok
Stranger: can i send a letter to you in french?
You: Oh, sure! I might be a bit distracted, talking to the guy in the next room.
You: Just because he’s a cop and using my TV doesn’t mean he has to crank rap music videos T.T
Stranger: so?
You: Well….I can’t get too pissy with him or he’ll call his buddies and I’m already kind of screwed.
Stranger: ok
You: House arrest suuuuuck ;.;
Stranger: =)
Stranger: hey do you like sex?
You: Well…yeah. Under house monitoring for statuatory rape.
You: I raped him.
Stranger: woow
Stranger: rape me 😀
You: ….you want me to tie you to a bed, put on my footlong strap-on and go to town on you?
Stranger: no
You: Fair enough. I don’t need another sentence.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: but
Stranger: can i see you
You: …..see me?
Stranger: yeah
You: A photo of me?
Stranger: yeajh or web cam last technology =)
You: Well…..
You: Does this work?
You: http://tinyurl.com/cprqyk
Stranger: hey she is you ? ?f it’s so you r beauty =)
You: *blushes* Well, thanks.
Stranger: how do i connect with you?
You: You can’t T_T If I plugged in anything that’s not a mouse or keyboard, they’ll get suspicious and disconnect me.
Stranger: ahahah 😛
Stranger: hey ? am sure we can be frirends but good friends
Stranger: how about you ?
Stranger: so give me a chance
You: I’d like that!
Stranger: so we do it, ?
You: It? What, sex?
Stranger: no sex. be friends
You: Oh! Sure!
Stranger: yes just i want to know how ? connect to you again.
You: Of course! Hold on, I’ll give you an email address, ‘kay?
Stranger: erhan_erkek@live.com
You: WRYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
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You: See you around!
You have disconnected.
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