Since last night I’ve been obsessively connecting to Omegle.
It’s a simple site that just connects you to a random person, anonymously, for a conversation.
It feels like that scene in Fight Club where the narrator sits down next to Tyler on the plane. Two strangers meeting, laying out their personality and sizing each other up in just a few words, with no expectations, and — thanks to anonymity — no consequences.
Except in this case, a lot of the time Tyler just screams “COCKS”, punches the narrator, and jumps out of the window.
Still, it’s fun!
xkcd 
Stranger: m 16 russia
u?
You: m 18 right behind you with a latex glove
Stranger: is it u?
I meant that as a joke. I’m really sorry if I brought up anything traumatic, 16/m/russia.
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Thomas: True 😛 I belong to group a.
Still though, it works quite well.
Another question is, “How do you undo a bra clasp?”. If the stranger doesn’t know, it’s definitely a guy. If (s)he does know, you know nothing.
While the shaving question catches most men trying to be women, it doesn’t catch women trying to be a man. Can anyone think of a question which men know, but women don’t?
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Or perhaps, “What’s your bra size?” My girlfriend thinks most men don’t know there’s supposed to be numbers together with a letter 😛
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I wrote a bot which talks on Omegle using A.L.I.C.E. It already had over 3000 conversations and it’s really good fun to read the logs. And watching it realtime is even funnier.
Here’s a sample:
09-04-07 01:54:41 starting…
09-04-07 01:54:42 both connected! (.1)
09-04-07 01:54:42 sending hi..
09-04-07 01:54:42 ALICE: yo
09-04-07 01:54:45 human: hey
09-04-07 01:54:50 ALICE: Can I help you?
09-04-07 01:54:57 human: yes you can
09-04-07 01:55:07 ALICE: What can I do for you? No I don’t think I can do can.
09-04-07 01:55:12 human: Do you want to bang bang bang?
09-04-07 01:55:16 ALICE: OK, I will bang bang bang.
09-04-07 01:55:40 human: that’s a shame
09-04-07 01:55:45 ALICE: “OK I will bang bang bang”? is a shame?
09-04-07 01:55:48 human: what can you do
09-04-07 01:55:55 ALICE: I can chat with people on the web for you.
09-04-07 01:55:59 human: trying to fake a bot lul
Some of the chats lasted for more than 10mins! If somebody’s interested in developing this bot please contact me: janek -and this is some random text- shift+2 juice pl
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: excuse me?
You: hello stranger!
You: how art thou!
Stranger: i art quite fine, strageth!
You: indeed, thou art excused
Stranger: *strangeth
You: is thou of the male or female persuasion stranger?
Stranger: so, upon such a wondrous day like today, where does one find his or herself?
Stranger: thou is male!
You: indeed I am! My word strangers, however did you guess?
Stranger: i am, what one may call, a wizard!
Stranger: a wizard of thoust mind!
You: thou is shitting me!
You: fucketh me! a wizard! in this day and age?
Stranger: yes sir, a wizard!
Stranger: i have awed many through my travels
You: my word!
You: as for myself, i am merely a serial killer
Stranger: oh that is still a high profession!
You: indeed my learned friend, indeed
You: SHIT SOME SQUIRRELS FUCKING MY TOMATO!!!
You: my apologies
You: as i was saying
You: i am a serial killer with a mild case of tourettes
Stranger: tis ok, my friend!
Stranger: squirrels do find a way to get their genitals into my ripe tomatos all the time!
You: kind of a let down it seems. just when I am stalking a pure, fairheaded maiden, I let leash such a violent outburst it scares them away!
You: although
Stranger: oh heavens!
You: it could be the fact i am running at them with an axe at the time
Stranger: shall we team up to stop these vile outbursts?
You: indeed my wizard friend
You: do you have an ideas on how to stop them?
Stranger: as a wizard i shall pin them with my magic, and you shall slice them up!
You: is slicing really necessary?
You: i much prefer the good old hack and slash
Stranger: or cutting, whichever method of killing you prefer, my friend!
You: marvelous
You: come to my place of residence forwith and we shall embark on our quest!
Stranger: sounds remarkable?
Stranger: of which hour and day shall i meet you?
You: i reside in the scottish highlands
You: the 11th hour on midsummers day if that will suffice?
You: I shall bring the tomatos!
Stranger: is thou’s residence a castle or just a mere house?
You: a dungeon
Stranger: i can materialize tomatos out of the air, my friend!
You: im afraid due to my profession, one muct keep up appearances
You: just as I am sure thou resides in a tower?
Stranger: quite fine, i enjoy dungeons
Stranger: i reside in a tower, correct!
You: so the 11th hour on midsummers day then?
Stranger: yes, correct!
You: i’m afraid i must bid thee fairwell!
Stranger: i shall see you soon, my deadly friend!
You: indeed my esteemed learned friend!
You: farewell!
Stranger: our crime shall not go unnoticed!
Stranger: farewell!
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: RANDALL?
Stranger: HEy you over there!
Stranger: Yes dude
Stranger: i’ve been looking all over
Stranger: -.-
You: xkcd?
Stranger: cdx:D
You: Are you randall!?
Stranger: YES!
Stranger: Man
You: I dont believe you.
Stranger: the odds are not high
Stranger: You shouldn’t
Stranger: heh
You: Okay
You: Then lets prove it
You: You are in a room
You: There are velociraptors to your north, south, west, and east
You: there is an open door to the north east
Stranger: now this is scary
You: You have a super soaker, and a bottle of concord grape juice.
You: What do you do?
Stranger: with juice and petrol u can make your own napalm
Stranger: the juice has to be freezed
You: You are not randall. Goodbye.
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“JDUG:
“Hello! I am the omegle ChatBot.
There is an uneven number of users online.
You were referred to me.
How are you dear Sir?””
This inspired me:
Stranger: hello?
You: 22:33 Hello
Stranger: how are you?
You: 22:33 I am the Omegle chatbot
You: 22:33 There is an uneven number of users online
Stranger: okay
You: 22:33 You have been assigned to me
Stranger: awesome
You: 22:34 Do you enjoy using Omegle?
Stranger: it’s okay i guess. this would be my first time using it
You: 22:34 How did you find out about the site?
Stranger: i saw something about it on another site
Stranger: where did this originate?
You: 22:35 Other: please specify
Stranger: well, according to your time clock, its 10:35
Stranger: what time zone are you in?
You: 22:35 Another user is available for you to chat to
Stranger: ok
You: 22:36 Would you like to complete a short survey?
Stranger: no thanks
Stranger: maybe next time
You: 22:36 Thank-you for chatting to the Omegle chatbot!
You have disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You:hi
… Was my hi weird in any way?
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: its telling me to say hi
Stranger: you’re wrong
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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I kept it simple, seeing as how idiotic my stranger seemed to be.
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: u nigga best be interesting
You: *cockpunch*
You have disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hello
You: : )
Stranger: : )
Stranger: one time i was asked, are we gonna smile like this forever
i just developed a cool conversation, when once again i managed to close my window.. so then i started chatting with many windows at the same time…brokenhearted…
and then
i was comparing how wirdely similar two conversations were
when i realized i was talking to myself
ouch!
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hello
Stranger: : )
You: : )
You: one time i was asked, are we gonna smile like this forever
oh well
this thing really hurts.
it makes it feel really much more like real life
all this people going out of my life
K
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my current fave:
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: do you believe in god?
Stranger: yes?
You: do you?
Stranger: yes?
You: have you ever met him?
Stranger: no?
You: does your faith run true
Stranger: i guess so”?
You: then you know what to do
You: ahhhhh chooooo
Stranger: eerr?
Stranger: god bless you?
You: no fuck you
You have disconnected.
or send us feedback.
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hi. I’m Bono, from the rock band U2.
Stranger: sure
You: Please feel free to compliment me and/or my art.
You: You will know me for my music. What you probably don’t know is that I am also saving the world. I don’t like to publicise my political and humanitarian works.
Stranger: no i dont know that
You: I started off with the continent of Africa. I think that Africa will be okay maybe next year. Then I will save Asia.
You: Feel free to compliment me on my political and humanitarian works.
You: I bought a new hat today.
You: The hat looks good. Please imagine me in my brand new $5000 hat and aspire to one day owning a hat such as this.
Stranger: sounds very humanitary
You: I think that when Africans see me in my brand new $5000 hat it will inspire them to escape poverty so they too can own such a fine hat.
You: It also covers my bald patch.
You: I have employed some African children to count my money in a warehouse.
You: This gives gainful employment to poor children in Africa.
Stranger: i dont even read it anymore
You: Please buy my new record.
Stranger: ill download it
You: If you download it I’ll cry!
You: I need your money!
Stranger: sell your hat
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Stranger: hey
You: Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such Omegle chats as “Brazil?” & “a/s/l”.
Stranger: LUUUL
You: Not really. My name is Basil.
Stranger: Basilmarket?
Stranger: omg
Stranger: IM ALSO FROM BASIL
You: I’m not from Basil. I am Basil.
You: That is my name.
You: Basil Market.
Stranger: OMG MR. BASIL?
Stranger: @@
You: No, Mr Market.
Stranger: omgggg ive always wanted to meet you
You: But you can call me Basil.
Stranger: oh, crap, sorry wrong person x.x
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: ahoy hoy!
Stranger: are you a pirate
You: everyone asks that, but no
Stranger: FUCK
You: it’s ok
You: do you need a hug?
Stranger: Maybe
Stranger: I definitely would if you were a pirate
You: im a ninja
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You know how the payoffs for a game change when you have to face an opponent multiple times? Same thing applies here.
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I’ve been telling people their session has been routed to Omegle staff due to grammar and spelling complaints.
—
You: We’re happy to be of service.
Omegle World Network Editorial Dept. seeks to improve our community by elevating user’s literary content through private tutorials. We hope you are enjoying your time at Omegle and chat with confidence knowing you have been O.W.N.E.D.
Stranger: aww SHIT haha
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: Stranger: This is Courtney from Omegle Customer Support.
We have received multiple complaints about inappropriate minor grooming traced to your IP address.
This is your final warning.
You: next time you may want to remove the “stranger:”
You: before u copy and paste?
You: k, thanks.
Stranger: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Stranger: btw does a warning come up for you when I say FBI
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: no
Stranger: hmm, i think omegle watches these convos then
You: uh yes
Stranger: no like watches them real time
Stranger: thats interesting
Stranger: well anyway
Stranger: dont do drugs
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
or send us feedback
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jason:
That conversation sounds eeriely familiar. I think that was me you were talking to!
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I liked this one.
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi.
Stranger: i can has cheezburger?
You: u no can haz.
You: u took mah bukkit.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: SUP LAWL
Stranger: SUP DAWG!?
You: I HEARD YOU LIKE CHATS IN YOUR CHAT
Stranger: SO WE PUT A CHAT IN YO CHAT
You: SO YOU COULD CHAT WHILE YOU CHAT
Stranger: WIN
You: FAIL
You have disconnected.
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Just had a long convo with pysch major… are you her? connection imploded! 30’s jazz!
rotavarp@yahoo.com
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Long convo ended in an IMPLOSION, I’m a poli sci major, you are a pysch major, we talkedabout jazz, politics, pedos, palin, affirmative action… stdittp@yahoo.com
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Now THAT’S a conversation I’m sorry to have missed out on.
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Epic!
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger:hey
You: Now you will ask me ASL, then I will reply 17/m/aus, whereupon you will leave, as I am not the 12/f/sweeden are looking for
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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wait, even better
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
another game I play is tell the person to disconnect as soon as you get in and seeing how long they won’t disconnect for while you persuade them to. the aim is to get the largest replies possible, the most I got was 20 lines of them responding.
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Don’t turn to the internet for meaning
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: hello
Stranger: what are you doing here?
You: I am trying to justify the meaning of humanity
You: but, all I get is people yelling “COCKS” and disconnecting
Stranger: COCKS
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I put on my robe and wizard hat
Stranger: YOU ARE HARRY BOT?
You: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
Stranger: I AM MAN
You: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
Stranger: YOU BASTARE
Stranger: I CAST A XXXXXXXXXXXXX
You: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
Stranger: YOU ARE DESTORYED AGAIN AND AGIAIN
You: Don’t f*ck with me bitch, I’m the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
Stranger: HA HA
Stranger: YOU ARE ONLY A COWARD
Stranger: a big clown
You: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
or send us feedback.
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justine:
Why must you hate on us ninjas?
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi!
Stranger: HEY COULD YOU HELP ME
You: unlikely, but try me!
Stranger: PLEASE
Stranger: i’m suicidal
You: hmm, in which way?
Stranger: in the one where i feel like jumping from a rooftop.
You: hmm, so your not afraid of immense heights, but might be from something else
Stranger: i think russia is after me
You: do you live in russia?
You: (because that would make it a lot harder)
Stranger: i’m finnish
You: ah
You: well then you’re still near Russia
You: If you live outside the city, then there’s nothing to worry
You: as there are no buildings there to jump off
Stranger: russia is so huge it’s hard not being near it
You: especially in Finland
You: lol
Stranger: what if i jump consecutively?
Stranger: that will do
You: hahahaha
Stranger: hey we’re discussing a problem here
Stranger: don’t make fun of it
You: sorry
You: erm
You: jumping consecutively might be a problem when there’s no snow.. ermm
Stranger: it’s almost summertime, mate
You: so, would you feel better when you’re further away from Russia?
You: yeah sorry, I’m only at 53N
Stranger: yes
You: hmm do you like to travel?
Stranger: in a sensible way, yes
You: hmm, then you could either
Stranger: if you mean cardboard boxes – no, i’m not a mexican
You: 1) take the trans-siberian railway in a large (leather deluxe) trunk, with a label “North Korea” on it, and solve several options at once
Stranger: i won’t be feeling the urge to jump from a rooftop then, would i?
You: 2) travel by convenient methods to the west, tell the Americans that you think Russia is after you and eventually become someone important there
You: erm
You: big cities might not be your thing either, as there are more rooftops there
Stranger: i might go to alabama.
You: hold on a second, i’m switching physical positions
Stranger: sure
You: ok
You: (that was quick)
Stranger: (indeed was)
You: what good would being in Alabama do?
Stranger: erm, like, are there any big cities in alabama?
You: not that I know off, but then again
You: (hits alabama in wikipedia)
You: the flag of alabama is a big red cross on a white background
You: that might be a sign not to go there
Stranger: you got a point there i suppose
Stranger: so, what do we have left
Stranger: kansas?
You: well that sounds right at least
You: and the flag looks like a postcard created by a really crappy designer
Stranger: might been drawn by some indian
You: no big cities as far as I can see
You: probably
Stranger: all i assosiate kansas with
Stranger: is a river
Stranger: and indians
You: yeah I have the indian association too
You: do you like arrows, horses and camping?
Stranger: yeah i believe it’s quite obvious
Stranger: oh
Stranger: depends
Stranger: is anybody shooting those arrows?
You: probably not, it’s like those cops wearing weapons but not doing anything with it
You: or the finnish army, for that matter
Stranger: i get it
Stranger: it’s like intimidation
You: i suppose yeah
Stranger: could i by any chance get run over by bisons there?
You: well erm, not having any personal experience with kansas wildlife, i need a second to get some opinions on that
Stranger: alright, i’ll hold on
You: you won’t:
You: The last wild bison in Kansas was killed in 1879 at Point of Rocks north of Elkhart.
Stranger: well that’s quite a relief
You: although there might be some domesticated bisons left, I’m not sure
You: I suppose, kansas really is a good option
Stranger: getting run over by a domesticated bison would be hilarous
You: it would! make sure to put it on youtube
Stranger: i’d get someone with a camera with me for any case
You: great, I’ll search youtube for ‘kansas’ and ‘bisons’ regularly
Stranger: imagine an indian on a horse with my camera
Stranger: filming me getting run over by a bison?
Stranger: you better do.
Stranger: might be the next big hit
You: he’ll be great at aiming!
Stranger: he sure will
Stranger: but what if he throws it?
You: still good video
Stranger: relatively short though
Stranger: would be good if it stays on the ground
Stranger: and records the sounds
You: I think we’ve settled it: you travel to kansas and get run over by a domesticated bison while being filmed by an indian on a horse, and I’ll check youtube regularly and make sure it gets the attention it needs
Stranger: that’s it.
You: It was great talking to you, I hope you feel better
You: Bye!
Stranger: i really do, see you round
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I had a nice convo with someone from aussie, but after we broached the subject of cupcake slaves, things where never quite the same again between us.
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It is so addictive, and I had that “I put on my robe and wizard hat.” It was really funny. Quite random. :’)
It’s down right now. 😦
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: knock knock
Stranger: who’s there?
You: disco
Stranger: disco who?
You Disconnected.
You have disconnected.
But then, later:
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: knock knock
Stranger: If you could have sex with any of the power rangers, who would it be?
You: TOMMY, RED RANGER, MMPR, ’96
You: damnit, you got me sidetracked
Stranger: nice one.
Stranger: who’s there?
You: nevermind the knock knock joke, it would have ended in me disconnecting.
Stranger: please don’t. You want to fuck Tommy.
You: well I can’t go now, you’ve asked the best question I’ve ever seen on Omegle
Stranger: SUCCESS
Your conversation has asploded.
SHIT!
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Asking people “Where are the bodies buried?” isn’t working out so far… best I got was “cemetary?”…
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I had a great 2 hr convo with a very intelligent (guy?). When we were done I had him seriously questioning the existence of communism and global warming.
Then I made, what I believe, a very solid case for Crusoism being the only practical form of government.
You: Crusoism, unlike most governments, has only one failing
Stranger: yes, it might work
You: Not enough islands to go around.
Stranger: Oh very funny hahaa
Then I rickrolled him and happily discovered YouTube’s “Rickroll’D” has finally achieved over 20 million hits!
Just in case if any of you hear about a volunteer house-builder in Mexico that majored in non-profit management moving to El Salvadore and single-handedly converting it to Crusoism…:)
It pleases me to think that might happen.
reCAPTCHA: or Louise
Dunno, they were both hot…Now I’ll spend all night trying to decide.
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Stranger: hi
You: does asking someone if they have a favorite icebreaker count as an icebreaker?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You: I have figured it out!
Stranger: you dooo???
You: yes, i did
Stranger: ok hit me
You: Statistically speaking, it appears that about 2/3 of Omegle users are 17/f/Brazil, named Sarah…and every one of them is bored.
Stranger: r u kidding me???
Stranger: well u were close
You: would I kid you?
You: How close?
Stranger: im sarah too!!
but im 17/m/brazil
Stranger: twas close
You: yes, twas
You: you chat like a girl…so it still applies
You have disconnected.
—
I’ve also been berating people for the audacity of being statistical outliers. There are many lol
reCAPTCHA: revision 196
Talk about editorial sadism…reminds me of my English Lit. class.
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Alright, youstranger.net is officially online.
Think bash.org for Omegle.
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: COCKS!
Stranger: HENS!
You: CATS!
Stranger: KITTENS!
You: SEALS!
Stranger: ORCAS!
You: DOLPHINS!
Stranger: SHARKS!
You: WHALES!
Stranger: JELLYFISH!
You: NARWHALS!
Stranger: UNICORNS!
You: MANTICORES!
Stranger: DRAGONS!
You: GOD!
Stranger: THOR!
You: OFFLER!
Stranger: INLER!
You: AZRAEL!
Stranger: BAAL!
You: CHTULU!
Stranger: QUETZLCOATL!
You: IXTAB!
Stranger: SHIVA!
You: VISHNU!
Stranger: KRISHNA!
You: BRAHMA!
Stranger: GANESH!
You: NARASIMHAVATARAM
Stranger: ARJUNA
You: BODHISATTVA!
Stranger: SIDDHARTHA GAUTAMA!
You: SAVITHA BHABHI!
Stranger: BABAR!
You: POO!
Stranger: TIGGER!
You: TAILS!
Stranger: LUIGI!
You: BOMBERMAN!
Stranger: MEGAMAN!
You: BATMAN!
Stranger: WONDER WOMAN!
You: JANE FONDA!
Stranger: JIMMY HOFFA!
You: JOHN EF OBAMA!
Stranger: GEORGE W NIXON!
You: AL DEE ROOSEVELT!
Stranger: HERBERT JAY CLINTON!
You: ABRAHAM VAN BUREN!
Stranger: NAPOLEON WASHINGTON!
You: PETER THE BISMARK
Stranger: KAISER WILHELM THE LIONHEARTED
You: ADOLF CHURCHILL!
Stranger: MAO STALIN!
You: JESUS H BELZEBUB!
Stranger: JULIUS AKBAR!
You: ALEXANDER THE LEONIDAS
Stranger: HAMMURABI’S VEDAS!
You: MOSES’S KALEVALA!
You: IT HAS BEEN A PLEASURE PLAYING!
Stranger: BALTHAZAR’S ON THE ORIGIN OF SPECIES!
Stranger: GOOD NIGHT!
You have disconnected.
or send us feedback.
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: hello
Stranger: how are you?
You: are you ok?
You: I’m fine
You: are you alright?
Stranger: I’m fine too thanks
You: good
Stranger: where you from?
You: the last one had E.D.
You: I’m from outer space
Stranger: ok
You: I’m bored.
Stranger: me too
You: Oh no, where will I go to meet men with erections pretending to be girls now!?
Stranger: ?
Stranger: what your name?
You: ooh..
You: are you from Brazil?
Stranger: no
You: London?
Stranger: no
You: China?
Stranger: no
You: Australia
You: ??
Stranger: no
Stranger: ^^
You: Canada?
Stranger: yes ^^
Stranger: and you?
You: oh..
You: well.. I’m going to go now..
Stranger: why?
You: you’re Canadian
Stranger: yes and?
You: and someone told me that Canadian’s work for the dark lord.
Stranger: where you from?
Stranger: tell me please
You: why do you need to know? are you going to eat my soul?
Stranger: What are you talking about????????????
You: Canadians are evil.
Stranger: I ask you a question and you don’t want to answear me
You: They kidnap you and suck out your soul
Stranger: you’ve a problem
You: I’m from NY
Stranger: a big problem…
You: I know
Stranger: I see
You: My therapist wants me to go to a special hospital
Stranger: nice for you
You: he says they can make the voices stop telling me to kill Canadians
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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people should really take time and be creative. Life is more fun that way. Invader Zim anyone?!
Stranger: hi
You: hello you.
You: we meet again.
Stranger: indeed we have
Stranger: did you delivery the package
You: in fact I have
You: I delivered it early
Stranger: good good
Stranger: our plans are going smoothly
You: I know how you like it
You: world domination shall be ours
You: MUAHAHAHA!
Stranger: that is well you are my favorite
Stranger: why*
Stranger: sorry
You: thank you master.
Stranger: i’m brewing beer
Stranger: for the celebration
You: make mine with extra hopps
Stranger: i will my pawn
Stranger: will you bring the shimp cakes?
You: I shall be your queen when this is over with
You: I have had them shipped already
Stranger: oh goody
You: they shall be there early
Stranger: you read me like a book
Stranger: what do you believe we should have as party favors?
You: That is why I am here to assist you
You: already taken care of.
You: gift bags for everyone
Stranger: and what should be in those bage my dear?
You: specialty bags for our speacial guests
Stranger: brilliant!
You: each bag caters to each guests needs
Stranger: brilliant my dear!
You: I do have on problem
Stranger: oh?
Stranger: and what is that?
You: what shall I get The Priest?
You: He is our best assasin.
Stranger: hmmm
You: and the hardest one to shop for
Stranger: how about chicken pot pies?
You: He’s allergic to flour
You: I was thinking a new rifel maybe
Stranger: oh right
Stranger: ahh
Stranger: how about two?
Stranger: since he is the best
You: I have picked him out a nice 22 pistol from the early Spanish renasonce era
You: i thought he might enjoy such a gift.
Stranger: oh you please me so
Stranger: but alas
You: ALAS?
Stranger: i must claen up the kitty’s vomit
Stranger: i stepped in it twice now
You: oh that darn kitty!
Stranger: farwell!!
You: always thwarting our plans
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: hi
Stranger: hi
You: hi
You: damn you are 3 times as hi as i am
Stranger: im scared
You: what of? there are many good reasons to be scared
Stranger: this is my daddys laptop
Stranger: he doesnt know i have it
You: if that is true, the porn is in a folder labelled “Allan Parsons Project”
You: Allan Parsons is a front for pornography
Stranger: what is porn?
You: porn is where strangers pretend to enjoy having sex
Stranger: my daddy talks about it to his friend who comes over but they always make me leave the room
You: well that is much better than it being the other way around
Stranger: i dont enjoy the sex
Stranger: i dont like it one bit
You: maybe you have an allergic reaction
You: its fairly common
Stranger: my daddy says all good little girls like it but i dont
Stranger: i never tell him that though
Stranger: or he will be ever so angry
You: You should make him a hot chocolate with a slice of lemon. I find that is very calming
Stranger: are you a gir
Stranger: does your daddy have the sex with you too
Stranger: he said all good girls have the sex with daddy
You: I am not a girl, I am a highly litererate rabbit.
Stranger: shhh
Stranger: daddy is coming
Stranger: ill pretend im asleeping
You: well if you need to talk to me just clap your hands three times and say asparagus, and i will appear
Stranger: jm yyyybdf
Stranger: ]gj]eMSZ
Fvg
Stranger: e 0=kt=
Stranger: ]
You: are you ok little girl?
Stranger: listen i dont know who or what this is
Stranger: but whatever my daughter told you was just her playing around
Stranger: shes not even allowed to use my lap top
You: thats what she said
You: i mean literally of course
Stranger: well she will be severely punished
You: please dont punish her sir
Stranger: please forget everything she has said, she has an over active imagination
You: i will grant you a wish if you promise not to punish her
Stranger: ko[m
Stranger: npik m”?
Stranger: .
Stranger: please helpag
Stranger: helpld
Stranger: ima aruning
Stranger: hes trying to sedx mea
Stranger: i dont want to
You: hide in the closet, ill call teh cops
Stranger: im hidding under his bed
Stranger: shhh
You: can you hear him?
Stranger: he wants to sex me
Stranger: i dont want to
Stranger: his hotdoggie hurts when it is in me
Stranger: he is looking for me
You: there is only one way for you to escape little girl
You: you need to find daddy’s razor….
Stranger: where
You: it should be in the bathroom, quick go now
Stranger: k ill gog and come back
Stranger: ok ok ok
Stranger: i founds it1
Stranger: i founds it!
You: now, what you need to do is cut the insides of your wrists. Don’t be scared, me and all my magicl bunny friends will be here waiting for you
Stranger: i hear him downstiars lookings for me though
You: you had best do it quickly then
You: hurry!
Stranger: how i do it
You: warm the razor blade up under some hot water
Stranger: i cant hes coming up stiars
You: you will just have to use the razor blade cold then
Stranger: iiiii doingit
Stranger: ouchieeeeee
You: yes it hurts a little
You: does it feel better now?
Stranger: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Stranger: it gurts
Stranger: kkkkkkkkiiiefeelliek a nnnap
You: can you see the magical bunnies yet?
You: we are waiting for you
You: we have carrots
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You:
Stranger: do you believe in the magical life
You: The magical life!
You: Not particularly.
Stranger: ha!
Stranger: i knew it!
Stranger: non believer
You: Oh, my sekaret! It is revealed!
Stranger: now we shall have a duel
You: A battle of GUTS!
Stranger: choose your weapon
You: *pulls out spleen*
You: *my spleen*
Stranger: wise choice
You: *it’s kind of pointy*
Stranger: indeed
You: Et toi, aveugle? (Edit: And you, blind one?)
Stranger: noi es mi esposa (Edit: My wife is _____ [?])
You: You’re fighting using your /spouse/? Geeez!
Stranger: do not be fooled
Stranger: she is a master in all forms of fight
Stranger: even spleen
You: I see. Well then, eat this: UNDERCOOKED ASIAN CUISINE!
Stranger: go charazard: reheats and cooks to perfection
Stranger: your move
You: Hrm…
You: I summon Bacterial Infection in Attack mode!
Stranger: well too bad for you, as i always carry anit-fungal cream in my shirt pocket. right next to my pocket protecter
Stranger: !!!!
Stranger: cold
You: pocket protector???
Stranger: yep
You: I laugh in your face. Take that.
Stranger: cant take it.
You: essplode?
Stranger: MY MIRROR TOOK IT!
You: OH SNAP.
Stranger: indeed
You: Hiding behind spleen! Spleen’s feelings are damaged, but still intact!
Stranger: quick thinking
Stranger: you are a worthy opponnet
You: Why thank you. Your are a worthy competitor yourself.
Stranger: lets saw we call truce, for now, and become “friends”
You: Yes… “Friends.”
You: >_>
You: <_<
Stranger: gooooodd………
You: ;3 So… “Frennnd….”
Stranger: what is my opponets, i mean friends, age?
You: On average, 16.
You: I alternate between 15 and 17 every other week to avoid having my 16th birthday.
Stranger: what is your strategy behind this?
You: 16 was just a number invented by the media to sell us things.
You: I refuse to believe in it.
You: It is an unworthy cause.
You: And you, how many years have you been stuck on this rock?
Stranger: agreed
Stranger: askaban has held me for 23 long years
You: Ouch, Azkaban! Why’d you get thrown in there?
Stranger: trial pending, i am not at liberty to discuss this matter. lets just say it has to do with a certain 15/17 year olds “dissapearance”
You: Oh. Am I part of a substitution plot?
Stranger: …….of course not, f r i e n d
You: Actually, I’m being kidnapped as we speak. It’s been nice chatting with you, but I’ve got to pull out the lightsabers now.
Stranger: nice
Stranger: good luck to you
You: Till next we meet, my everlasting enemy!
Stranger: indeed…..
Stranger: boo!
You: ah!
You have disconnected.
ReCAPTCHA: naylor lotuses???
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jason:
I am terribly sorry.
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looking for VIN from LA?? contact me @ lovesitz@hotmail.com
its judo master here lol
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I’d really like to have someone’s opinion on this.
Stranger: Hi
You: Hello there
Stranger: Do you think your a good person?
You: Why do you ask?
Stranger: I am doing an assignment and I have to interview strangers
You: Okay
Stranger: So do you?
Stranger: Thankyou
You: Could you be a little more specific with your question please
Stranger: ok, sorry. Do you consider yourself to be a morally good person?
You: well, I would say yes, but like any other person I know that I do things that would be considered morally bad at times
Stranger: But generally a good person?
You: I’m not going to be ‘modest’ and say that I am always a good person
You: I’d like to think I am though
Stranger: hehehe. Cool. Can I test you and see if its true?
You: Test me how?
Stranger: Ask you a few questions
You: Okay
You: go ahead
Stranger: Cheers. Have you ever lied?
You: Yes
Stranger: What does that make you?
You: What do you mean>
Stranger: well if I told lies what would you call me?
You: insincere at times, I guess
Stranger: Id be a lier wouldn’t I, by definition. someone who murders is a murderer, someone who steals a thief. So if you have lied your a…(it begins with L and isnt looser) hehehe =)
You: If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you?
Stranger: Im 22
You: and it’s liar, not lier, isn’t it
Stranger: hehehe, my bad.
Stranger: Ok. have you ever stolen something, even small?
You: Stolen from a store?
You: or something as small as ‘taken the last cookie out of the jar’
Stranger: Stolen at all, any form of theft. From a store, friend, enemy, family anything?
Stranger: taking anything that isnt yours
You: well I have never stolen out of malcontent
Stranger: hehehe. but have you ever stolen something for any reason?
You: No
Stranger: never? never picked up a pen a school and kept it, never taken 50 cents from your parents? never downloaded or burnt music illegally?
You: I buy my music off of iTunes and prefer buying cds anyways
Stranger: so you have never taken anything in your whole life, regardless of value, that wasnt yours?
You: taking a pen off a desk, for example, as a lot different from downloading something illegally
You: like I said earlier, I’ve never stolen out of malcontent
Stranger: Well not really, its only a matter of value. taking anything that isnt yours is still stealing isnt it?
Stranger: so you have honestly never taken anything in your whole life, regardless of value, that wasnt yours?
You: I really don’t see how these questions really determine if a person is ‘good’ or not
You: of course I have lied in the past or taken something that is not mine
You: but at the same time there are a lot of things I do that distinguish me from a ‘morally bad’ person
Stranger: The dictionary defines good as morally excellent. These questions relate to basic right and wrong. It will become clear soon. So to be persistent, hehehe, you have honestly never taken anything in your whole life, regardless of value, that wasnt yours?
You: I’ve just anwsered that question for you.
Stranger: Oh, sorry. so by your own admission your a liar and a thief. These 2 are 2 of the 10 commandment. So when you die and face God, would you be innocent or guilty of breaking his 10 commandments?
You: let’s say I told you I did not believe in the existence of a God
You: Do the commandments still apply to me?
Stranger: fair enough. But if there was a God
Stranger: If you didnt believe in gravity it still applies ay?
Stranger: So ‘IF’ God was real and he judged you by the 10 commandments would you be innocent or guilty?
You: Gravity is not the easiest thing to explain
Stranger: True. So ‘IF’ God was real and he judged you by the 10 commandments would you be innocent or guilty?
You: and I really don’t want to get into a discussion about religion at this time of the night
Stranger: Ok. this is the last question and it would really help me =)
Stranger: IF’ God was real and he judged you by the 10 commandments would you be innocent or guilty?
You: Have you been asking a lot of people of this site today, these questions?
Stranger: you are the 3rd. Have to do a few for my assignment due tomorrow, hehehe
You: And what kind of anwsers have you been getting?
Stranger: Everyone has lied and stolen
You: of course
You: I would assume that my the definition you have given me tonight, most people would be guilty
You: by the definitions, I meant to write
Stranger: Yes, but Im after personal answers. If there was a God and you personally were judged by the 10 commandment do you think you would be innocent or guilty?
You: This debate is one of the most overdone topics ever
Stranger: Hehehe, I must humbly say that you do love to avoid the question stranger. Hehehe
You: Do you have any original questions to ask me, ones that I can actually think about
You: I am not avoiding it, I just want to hear a valid point before I answer it
You: I could tell from the beginning that the result of a survey like this is that the person was not a good one
You: and I already said at the beginning of the conversation that I don’t think I am a good person
Stranger: Hehehe. This is just a hypothetical question. “If” God was real, and he judged you by the 10 commandments, would you personally be innocent or guilty of breaking them? This is only “if” God is real
You: Well, if this question was directed to you, what would your answer be?
Stranger: =) Hehehe, you really dont want to answer the question do you. I will answer after you. Its not a right and wrong answer, I just want to know whether you think you would be innocent or guilty considering you admitted to being a lier and a thief. And yes I would be guilty of breaking them and the other 8 probably.
Stranger: hehehe, sorry liar
You: Obviously I would be guilty, according to your agrument
You: It doesn’t make a different whether or not I answered the question.
Stranger: And if God was real do you think you would go to heaven or hell?
You: okay, it’s three in the morning
You: I am going to go to sleep
Stranger: Wow. Good night. I hope for you and me there is no God or if there is he has made a way for us to be forgiven. Good night and thank you
You: WTF?
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Whenever I say I’m a guy people disconnect. I then start wondering why they are using the site….
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what a horrible idea!! its like aol chat rooms circa 1998 up in there.
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OMG.
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: spank me
You: SPANK
Stranger: SPANKYHAM
You: SPANKYMACCARONNI
Stranger: SPANK THE MONKEY BITCH
You: ANDMOTHERFUCKINGGRAVYNONONOMONOMONOMONOMONOM,ONOMONOMO
Stranger: NOM NOM NOM
Stranger: I EAT YA COCK
You: SPANK SPANK NOM NOM
Stranger: I KNOW U WANT IT
You: SPANK SPANK NOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM
You: EAT IT SO BAD
Stranger: OH YEA NIGGAH
Stranger: BUUUUURN
You: BADDEDER THAN MICHALE JACKSON ON ACID IN A KIDS STORE OF DILDOES
You: OH MY FUCKING SHIT GOD
Stranger: XD
You: GOD OF SHIT RAISE ME TO THE HEAVEN
Stranger: I like u dude
Stranger: You creep me out in the good way
You: ha! that was funny
Stranger: LETS HAVE SEX
You: SEX@@@@@@@
Stranger: *puts a finger in the stinker*
You: SHILOH FUCK YES
You: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Stranger: I fucking orgasm’d in my eye 😦
Stranger: shit burns
Stranger: BUT OH WELL
Stranger: fapppppp!
You: FACIAL MASTER TWLVETHOUSAND
You: ENGGE
Stranger: IT’S OVER 90000000000 TAAAAUSAND
You: 9000000000000 SPERMZ ASCEND
You: INTO THE VAGINAL ABYSS
Stranger: Abandon ship, Sperm OHOJ
You: OF NEVER EVER LAND
You: ABAONDED SHIP ONTO THE UTERUS
You: ATTACK THE BALLOS
Stranger: I died from lol and ended up fappin about it
You: FOLLOW ONLY INSTINCTZZ
Stranger: balls of steel in your mouth niggah
You: so cold like an ice cream cone
Stranger: but oh so sweet as a childs pussy
You: lickylickylcicklcldylkaNONONOMONOMONO ONOMONOM
Stranger: fappin all day long niggah
You: FACIAL MASTER TWELVETHSOUANDA SCEND ON CHILD PUSSY
Stranger: xD
Stranger: U B MAH FRIEND?
Stranger: BFF?
You: BFF AND FOREVER
Stranger: ❤
Stranger: Now
Stranger: LETS HAVE SEX
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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