FRUIT OPINIONS!

Posted byRandall 571 Comments on FRUIT OPINIONS!

Holy crap. This strip’s been up for 800 seconds and it’s already the most controversial thing I’ve ever written, beating out comics about cunnilingus, the Obama endorsement, and my making 4chan tiny on the map of the internet. It turns out everyone and their mother has a fruit opinion, and every one of those opinions is now in my inbox.

Just remember to keep some perspective. If you think watermelon is delicious, and I think it’s only so-so, the important thing is that we each find something we like. Who’s to say whose taste is right?

I am. You are wrong; watermelon is overrated.

Also, I have never liked cantaloupe. It brings down otherwise tasty fruit salads. There, I said it.

571 replies on “FRUIT OPINIONS!”

  1. I’m sure you’re already aware, but Mr. Stevens of Diesel Sweeties has declared war on your perceptions of fruit tastiness and/or ease of use. And I thoroughly chastised him for his omission of peaches from his revised version of the chart.

    I also roundly called him a Communist for no particular reason. I just got really bored, is all.

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  2. I think we need a system to tally everybody’s results, maybe an on-line voting system, then you can re-draw the strip with some REAL data…

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  3. I wonder what would have happened if you had pick something that carried more weight than fruit
    perhaps a gun useful/manly comparison
    or
    dare i say it
    a politically based comparison???

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  5. Grapefruit is awesome. So are lemons.

    And 4chan *is* tiny. Unfortunately. Too many people *hate* being anonymous so much that they’d rather have their SSN and credit card number publicly available than have even a single unattributed post.

    Come on, pears are easier than cherries? Pears are messy. Awfully messy.

    Regular melons have to be too far to the top. Peaches can’t beat melons.

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  7. Most I agree with. My biggest issue is with bananas. Them’s pretty tasty. 🙂

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  10. Wat would be cool is if the comic was dynamic.. each person making their own graph, and taking an average.

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  13. You know what? I´ve had it with these [citation needed] fruits in this [citation needed] comic!

    I say we start peeling raisins and eat that instead.

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  14. OMG WTF BBQ, I CAN BARELY CONTAIN MY NERDRAGE, GRAPEFRUIT IS DELICIOUS.

    Seriously though, grapefruit can be pretty good…

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  15. I know alot about which fruits are easy because we’re very lazy so the difficult ones rot around here.

    Seeing oranges on the difficult side, I thought, OK there’s some rule that you can’t use a knife or any other utensil. But that doesn’t explain peaches being easy. Hey even if I had to peel it myself I’d eat an orange at work over a peach any day. Fuck drippy, messy, furry peaches. Hmmm… for guys at least, there’s a use for ’em.

    Still trying to figure out what is difficult about a banana, its the easiest fruit of all. No washing, no mess, no inedible seeds, simple to peel. Unless he means the narrow window of time between under-ripe and rotten.

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  16. Dude, grape fruits are the bomb.

    You just need the right tools, like a grapefruit knife.

    It doesn’t matter really. In the future we will all take pills and eat soylent green.

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  17. I love that this is your most controversial topic. I find myself wanting to redo your graph for ‘Fruit Best Shot Out of a Cannon’. Hopefully that will pass. by the way, i report a red news about a controvercial site, SugarmommyMeet.com it enable rich women to have more chance of finding handsome and charming soul mates.

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  18. I am a fruit swing. My opinion is heavily weighted because I am a fruit swing.
    You forgot baby tomatoes. Their easy to eat. Just pop them in your mouth. Also kiwi’s are semi difficult to eat, but tasty their on par in difficulty with tomatoes.

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  19. 365! Now you have a comment for every day of the year. As for the actual comment: Grapefruits pwn. They’re some of the only fruits that taste good – along with red apples, oranges, bananas, and your mom. Most of those I found in the untasty section.
    The obvious responce to such an outrage is “I’m hungry”, but that being completed, I’ll go with “WTF, Peaches!!11??!?”. I hate em.
    As for difficulty, I’d have to agree what’s in the categories, except I’d say watermelons are way more difficult than lemons, oranges, and possibly even (yes) grapefruits. There is no way it takes more effort to get oranges ready than a watermelon.
    I may finally rest easy, now that my opinion has been stated, and promptly ignored due to the entire y-axis being purely opinion-based and therefore biased.
    The only thing worse than having grapefruit is not having grapefruit.

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  20. damn it! It took me too long to write. Looks like I’m waiting over a year.

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  21. is it me or is the conversation just about fruit. people are overreacting waaaaaaaaaay to much. everyone has their likes n dislikes. and yeh maybe i would like watermelon to be a bui hiher but i dont voice it on the poor guys inbox. 🙂 anyway 4ch being tiny on the map is way more important! i mean come on! it’s 4chan!

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  22. I know this comment will not be read, but i have to say this nevertheless.

    GRAPEFRUITS > ALL

    say, pomegranates are fucking useless, but grapefruits are sooo good, so bitter, soooooo shhohghhfff (i’m drooling).
    bye

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  24. In my college days:
    Attack the eyes of a coconut with a corkscrew. open two eyes. drain the milk. A old fashioned radiator is a perfect opening tool. It helps if you’ve got karate skills, but you hold it in both hands at head height, then drive it down and smash it into the raised edge. It fell into to even halves. If this doesn’t work, then your Kungfu is weak. Bon appetit. That’s how the Nahavo did it. OK maybe not.

    As a child, I’d climb into a tall seckel pear tree, and eat the tart crisp fruit. All pears I’ve met since have been tame and dull. It’s like comparing your first love to paying for sex.

    But you’re right. Fuck grapefuit.

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  25. I still think metafilter is right. You forgot bacon, the tastiest, easiest fruit that exists on the face of this blue planet.

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  26. Can I just say…..Ian? The Fruit Map is way cool.

    Poor grapefruit, though. I think it’s yummy.

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  27. How can you say that about the ‘granet, I think you are misinformed, sir, misinformed

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  29. I don’t think you are giving the pomegranate the credit it deserves, I think you are misinformed sir.

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  30. You forgot Huckleberries and Fufuberries. East Idaho and South Alberta berries rule all. Oh, and mangoes.

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  31. Two things I am entirely in favor of:
    1) Fruitrankings.com – the previously-described collaborative fruit rating site. (Proposed additional functionality: click a fruit to show its rating distribution)

    2) A whiteboardposter with: a) DifficultyTastiness axes b) The title “Fuck Grapefruit” c) Fruit magnets, except for the grapefruit which would be painted in its proper location.

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  33. Long live grapefruits. You can get grapefruit knives that make eating them pretty easy. They are curved so you can cleanly and quickly cut the juicy flesh from a half.

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  34. Also with bananas I don’t think they are so easy. You can get annoying bananas that have big fat strings clinging to them that you have to peel off. Also there is the black thing in the bottom that I at least feel the need to remove. I’ve got it fairly down now, but sometimes it doesn’t come out and I bite it off and spit it out.

    Further more, you have to consider as well those times when you peel the banana and parts of it are rotten. Maybe you cut the rotten part, or just eat it, but its annoying either way.

    Speaking of bananas, I like them quite unripe. I feel sick eating them when they are all sugary, tastes like rotting.

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  35. The only great fruit is a fermented fruit.

    Stop trying to make our alcohol industry look stupid by arguing about the raw ingredients to our best use for vegetation besides industrial and manufacturing.

    Also why are you eating the noble banana without it’s robe? If a monkey can do it you can do it too.

    The only use we have for melons of any kind is as someone stated earlier is the comparison to large breasts or explosive entertainment.

    Apple’s however are more enlightening for the fact that they can be made into more then just wine, beer, applesauce shots, apple jack martini’s, cider, or brandy. You can also use it for killing pigs and other mammal’s.

    It’s also important to remember, This is all moonshine and a rather foolish thing to get worked up over.

    P.S. I tried to post this 4 times before I figured out that it’s not an ad under the comment box.

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  37. And here I thought the whole joke was that you had compared apples to oranges.

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  38. And here I thought the whole joke was that he was comparing apples to oranges.

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  41. I use a towel to open my coconuts. I just put the coconut in a towel and hit it against a hard object like a rock or a tree. It works really well.

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  42. Blasphemy! Cantaloupe is delicious. You hit the nail on the head with grapefruit, though.

    Seriously, fuck grapefruit.

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  43. I agree with the entire chart… My placement of fruits within each quadrant might vary slightly from your own chart, but the quadrants themselves contain the exact same fruits. Also, I hate cantaloupe as well; thank you for letting me know I’m not the only one who thinks it ruins fruit salad.

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  45. Tomatos are disgusting abominations whos only purpose on this planet is to be thrown at untalented performers!… Oh, and I think watermelon and bananas are a lot tastier than you give them credit for, but I don’t care about that so much as someone finally agreeing with me that tomatos don’t taste good. Also, I truly hate it when people try to counter my distain for tomatos by saying that I like ketchup… For one, they don’t taste the same, and secondly… Does that mean you think I’m lying or something? Seriously, that’s like me asking how you can like lemonade but not like lemons! Imbeciles… <_<;

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  46. Tomatoes need to be way higher on tasty. I still consider them a vegetable since I love them and I can count them among my veggie servings. Pineapple doesn’t have to be difficult. I just buy canned chunked pineapple and eat it that way. But peaches are fuzzy… ew… I don’t want to eat fuzzy food.

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  47. Okay.

    First things first…where is mango? I mean, either you haven’t tasted it.. (in which case you are in for a treat, its like the best qualities of peach and pineapple but completely different)…or your tastebuds are insane!
    Second – pomegranates, lemons and pineapple ought to be far higher, as does red apple (how does anyone choose green over red? I mean, seriously?)

    Also… alexa is right… raspberries need to be there.
    Sorry if I’m wrong, but isnt banana a herb?

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  49. coconuts are the easiest snack- you just skewer to get the juice out, then wrap in a plastic bag and throw at the floor. 2 minutes, tops, even including twisting the bag tight and throwing it again so that the chunks are more snack-sized. A noisy rage-releaser with tasty results- what could possibly be better? I mean it- what?

    also, pomegranates are a great snack when travelling around African cities- they’re smaller and less gristly there, and there’s a trick to opening them without touching the inside, so even on the filthiest street market you can have a clean, sweet treat.

    Jeez, out-practicaled by a literature student. I am appalled.

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  50. Fruitgraph.com’s reviews section is online. Ain’t no ads or affiliate links or nuthin’, just 100% pure fruit graphing application reviews. By the way, pomegranites >>> pineapples :3

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