FRUIT OPINIONS!

Posted byRandall 571 Comments on FRUIT OPINIONS!

Holy crap. This strip’s been up for 800 seconds and it’s already the most controversial thing I’ve ever written, beating out comics about cunnilingus, the Obama endorsement, and my making 4chan tiny on the map of the internet. It turns out everyone and their mother has a fruit opinion, and every one of those opinions is now in my inbox.

Just remember to keep some perspective. If you think watermelon is delicious, and I think it’s only so-so, the important thing is that we each find something we like. Who’s to say whose taste is right?

I am. You are wrong; watermelon is overrated.

Also, I have never liked cantaloupe. It brings down otherwise tasty fruit salads. There, I said it.

571 replies on “FRUIT OPINIONS!”

  1. By declaring watermelon to be overrated as your justification for its low placement, you are placing it based on other’s opinion of watermelon and not strictly your own opinion. So, it’s not really your taste that is the issue here, but rather your taste subjected to the tastes of others. Do you even have your own opinion at all? Or do you set everyone else as your standard in everything? Pssh.

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  3. I think I pretty much agree with everything on the chart, especially as I despise grapefruits!!
    Also, let it be noted that I have actually tryed to open a coconut with a rock and I couldn’t not agree more, they are too much effort and they don’t even taste nice. In short you are left with massive disapointment and anger at the fact you have lost half hour of you’re life which you will never get back!!!

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  4. Pingback: Recently, it’s been like this… » Blog Archive » ha ha ha (xkcd, fruit)

  5. ripe bananas are super disgusting.

    green bananas, on the other hand, are wicked delicious and the only kind I’ll eat. They’re tart and not at all mushy. The trick with bananas is to get them green and only eat them when they’ve turned a little bit yellow, although this does make them harder to peel (the skin is stronger and rips)

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  6. hahahaha, I read that comic, and immediately became enraged at most of those fruits not being near tasty. I was just trying to find your contact address so I could flame you when I saw this blog. ROFL.

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  8. Aww hell I just might write a paper on why your completely wrong about most of these.

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  9. I agree with everything except the position of oranges, bananas, and pomegranates. Oh, and the cantaloupe. But otherwise ya, Fuck grapefruit.

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  10. Pineapples are fucking disgusting, and I’m very disappointed in you for making them tasty on your chart.

    Also, coconuts are awesome! Smashing them to bits with a rock/hammer/machete is the best part!

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  11. Cantaloupes are freaking awesome picked off the vine! Melt in your mouth and dribble down your chin awesome…
    Though the dribbling might inch the cantaloupe towards the “difficult” end of the graph. :d

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  12. Pineapple isn’t that hard if you’ve got a big knife (12 cuts if you have good aim)… and if its a proper ripe one in season… mmmmm… easily the best fruit ever.

    And avocado ranks up there on the amazing-flavor fruit scale. Maybe California just doesn’t export the really tasty ones.

    Also I see no mention of any sort of pepper… all of those taste damned good.

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  13. Strawberries are so overrated and often underwhelming.
    The flavor of coconut is great, but not the damn coconut itself.
    But oranges?! Oranges are delicious (sometimes)!
    I do admit I need to have peaches more often though…

    Tomatoes do suck as fruit go, but I don’t mind them at all when I pretend they are a vegetable…

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  14. I have to agree with everything you just said and the entirety of that chart and your post.

    Fuck grapefruit: it’s a vile large failure attempting to trick us by looking like an orange.
    Fuck watermelon: large, sticky and damned near tasteless, oh and it has a bunch of seeds in it you have to pick out.
    Fuck cantaloupe: it’s just not that good.

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  17. Oranges need some love. They are one of the best tasting fruits out there, and though they are difficult, I can eat ten of those in a day. Also, Bananas should be way higher on both deliciosity and ease. How many other fruits actually have their own wrapping to keep your hands from getting dirty?

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  18. I don’t know the technical feasibility of this, but is there a way to make an interactive delicious map? Everyone could put known fruit on the chart (simple x,y values seem easy enough) and all the votes are averaged to show where fruit currently stands in the hive mind.

    Or would that be hive mouth…

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  19. KIWI!!!!! Little reward, but oh so worth the effort. Def should be added to your tasty/difficult area…that and mangoes!

    Also, blackberries/raspberries could be added. Although the tasty/easy quadrant is looking a little full.

    (…and grapefruit are horrible. bleeech! )

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  20. Clucky Says:
    > I was going to say that everyone should send mail you their favorite fruit
    > to prove how wrong you are. But then I realized that getting hundreds of
    > boxes of rotten fruit probably wouldn’t be much fun for you or your
    > postman.

    Hey, I once did that very thing:

    http://www.geofftech.co.uk/iblog/?p=232

    Even though I went out specially to buy a really fresh new banana for maximum longevity, unfortunately the parcel was delayed and the banana was pretty manky by the time it arrived. So yeah, probably best not to send fruit to Randall.

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  21. I agree with everything you said except the cantaloupe (and to some degree the oranges). Cantaloupe is vile when it isn’t fully ripe because that makes it hard and bitter (in other words, it tastes like honeydew). When it’s perfectly ripe, however, it is easily the best-tasting of all fruits. However, I can’t say I’d place it at the top of my list because it’s damn near impossible to find a perfectly ripe cantaloupe.

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  22. Alex says:
    > Ever tried to peel an orange at work without any special tools?

    Special tools? I’ve only recently started eating oranges on a regular basis, but I’ve never needed anything more specialised than a thumbnail to peel them. And then they split into convenient segments. Special tools?

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  23. This is how I’d put them:

    I don’t like cherries at all really and really hate taking the stone out of my mouth or eating clumsily around it with plums and such. I also dislike peeling a great deal.

    And bananas are by a mile the easiest, least messy fruit, berries are really a thing of their own.

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  24. Ashie, a cantaloupe is a small round melon with a ridged scaly rind and aromatic orange flesh.
    Also, you forgot greengages. I adore greengages. They’re a sweet green plum and they’re delicious.

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  29. So, I agree mostly with everything. At first, I didn’t with lemons, and then I thought about it and was like yeah… yeah… maybe a little higher, but generally in that area.

    However, I do have my qualm like the rest of XKCD’s following. Bananas. Maybe not tasty relative to other fruits above the easy axis; however, I must assert that they are tasty and therefore should not be put in the negative tastiness region.

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  30. Honestly, I find your placement of plums the most disturbing of all. They most certainly do NOT deserve to be on the tasty side. Some people like peaches, that’s fine. Some people don’t like oranges, that’s fine too. But plums? I can think of only one person in the known universe that enjoys the taste of a plum, and that’s my geriatric 110-year-old grandmother who makes plum smoothies to gum down after a nice big bowl of Jell-o at 4:30pm before lights out at 7:00pm.

    Seriously, fuck plums.

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  32. I, uh, love plums. And I’m not your grandmother. Last I checked, I had a penis.

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  33. I, uh, like plums. I’m not Tom’s granny. In fact, I have a wingdingler. It’s pretty spiffy.

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  34. I never submitted that first comment, due to the fact that “wingdingler” is a spectacular word. Ignore it, strike it from the record.

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  35. I agree, mostly, with your evaluation of the fruit situation. My only problems is that lemons are rather tasty, so it is ultimately flawed. Watermelon and cantaloupe do kinda suck, though.

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  36. hmm… while peaches may be fairly tasty, I’d have to disagree on the placement of red apples. But grapefruit is in its proper place. xD

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  37. how can you say grapefruits aren’t tasty? they are the king of all citrus fruit!
    and they’re as easy to peel as oranges once you have the technique right.

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  41. Actually, I find grapefruits to be easier to peel than oranges. (that is assuming that you’re peeling off the membrane between segments as well. If you’re just taking off the peel, clementines etc. are easier.

    I also love the taste of (ripe) grapefruit and it tends to be juicier than most oranges where I live.

    By the way, anyone tried Ugli fruit? It’s great if you like citrus. (the flavor somewhat resembles passion fruit…somewhat)

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  43. Silence heathen! Bananas are indeed more difficult than one would think. Apples you can grab-n-go, and toss out the car window when you’re done. Bananas lead to slapstick comedy, and you have to peel them. No es bueno.

    Oh yeah, and grapefruit sucks. The only thing worse than grapefruit is grapefruit flavored jello.

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  44. Not having read the nigh on 300 comments, I would like to know the following:

    your opinions on-
    raspberries,
    necterines,
    star fruit
    lychees
    pears
    gooseberries
    rhubarb and dragon fruit

    XD

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  45. My grandfather grew the best cantaloups ever. His worst was so much better than the best I’ve ever had from a grocery store. He would save the seeds from the best cantaloups and use those to grow the next year’s crop. And he would plant three seeds in each hole and then pull out the weakest vine early on so that every vine was good and strong. And then he would pick most of the flowers so that each vine had only a few fruit to support. I can’t eat cantaloup from the grocery or in restaurants because they are never any good. But my grandfather’s were great.

    And tomatoes…

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  48. To Dragons Midnight: Rhubarb does not exist. Stop spreading your communist lies!

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