Some Lists

After a hectic few months, I finally have some projects that are in the early stages.  But since nothing is worth posting about yet, here instead is a list of phrases that (at the time of this posting) turn up no hits on Google:

  • “ate a violin”
  • “driver-side bidet”
  • “unlike normal furries,”
  • “Sarah, plain and tall and a cyborg”
  • “people are too civil on the internet”
  • “his penis shattered my world”
  • “more like LAME-arkian theory”
  • “my little horse must think it gay”
  • “it turned out her bottom half was a robot”
  • “Aww, a baby hooker!”

Here are some phrases that I had hoped were original when I typed them in but was disappointed:

  • “full-body glissando”
  • “passenger-side bidet”
  • “underwater Linux”
  • “Nu-Polka”
  • “erotic colonoscopy”
  • “Spocktoberfest”
  • “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a frack.”
  • “my bologna has a first name, it’s A-D-O-L-F”

And lastly, here’s a fun bash export I stumbled on:

  • export PS1='C:${PWD//\//\\\}>'

958 thoughts on “Some Lists

  1. A little gem:
    “I am my mother’s first grade teacher”
    all the way to
    “I am my mother’s twelfth grade teacher”
    return 0 results.

  2. “i ate my hamster” – 1150
    “he ate my hamster” – 447
    “she ate my hamster” – 41
    “you ate my hamster” – 166
    “they ate my hamster” – 67
    “we ate my hamster” – 0
    “google ate my hamster” – 50
    “obama ate my hamster” – 7
    “xkcd ate my hamster” – 0
    “hamster ate my hamster” – 3 (Cricetus Cannibalis?)
    “velociraptor ate my hamster” – 0

  3. Pingback: ?????????? ? Google « Plamenstoev’s Blog

  4. of the form “thirty-nine results” etc:
    54 got 53
    77 got 1140 for some reason
    85 got 87
    103 got none! “one hundred three”
    nothing for 104-107, but 108 gets one result, as to 109 110 111
    112 gets none

    captcha:
    “benefit furtel” I think
    looks more like benetit
    … I’m refreshing this one
    “greatest in” – 3,230,000

  5. “The damaged perfection” – 0 results
    “Luke, I am a velociraptor” – 0 results
    “The fourth wheel on a tricycle” – 11 results
    “The fifth wheel on a tricycle” – 2 results
    “The sixth wheel on a tricycle” – 5 results
    “The seventh wheel on a tricycle” – 0 results
    “The eighth……..twentieth wheel on a tricycle” – 0 results
    “Surely You’re Joking, xkcd!” – 0 results
    “Some lists made by xkcd” – 0 results

  6. “ben stein is a douchebag” : 354 hits
    “ben stein isn’t a douchebag” : 0 hits

  7. _____ is a fracking cylon

    “Mccain” 1
    “Obama” 0
    “Palin” 0
    “Biden” 0

    Mccain is a cylon?!?!? Well, if the internet says it…

  8. “this is too weird to show on the internet” 0
    “this is too weird for the internet” 0
    “everything on the internet is porn” 83 (I knew it!)
    “this is too weird to make porn of” 0
    “i tell people i’m not a virgin” 1 (although the result is actually the opposite)
    “master plan for world domination” 9330 (boy, the competition mush be harsh!)
    “master plan for world peace” 16 (oh, humanity)
    “master plan for for making her mine” 0

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  10. “irreverent man” 2,590
    “irreverent boy” 479
    “irreverent honkey” 2
    “irreverent sucka” 0

  11. Unlike normal furries, these featheries, are well-known for falling into fast-paced, extremely sexual and drug-filled lifestyles and are often infatuated

    aha!

  12. No results found for “recalcitrant burrito vendors”.

    But there are so many of them! Vending away.

  13. “cat litter fondue” – 0
    “elvis presley’s upper crust” – 0
    “mr. lincoln’s erotica” – 0

  14. “Liar Liar didn’t give me a heart attack” – 0
    “Tom Cruise not being a douche” – 0
    “Fat people without a thyroid condition” – 0

    This is fun.

  15. There are a couple I’ve coined without realizing it:

    Rounds up to true
    Rounds down to false
    Six-sigma strange

  16. “pro Sonny Bono” 184 hits
    “pro bonobo” 145 hits
    “Sonny Bonobo” 361000
    “pro Sonny Bonobo” 0 hits
    “Sonny Bono hits” 608 hits, but the next words in the third link is “a tree.”

  17. “squishy family jewels” and “springy family jewels” still yields zero results as of this date… :o

  18. “never call a raptor fat” – 0
    “cthulhu on a stick” – 7
    “this query has zero returns” – 0 :D
    “i am here to fix your appliances” – 1
    “road rage polka” – 195
    “pikachu salami” – 3
    “internet meme pie” – 31
    “i hate my life” – 673 000
    “i love my life” – 858 000 :)

    (I kinda want to try a cthulhu on a stick)

    Also,
    http://forums.nexuswar.com/viewtopic.php?t=17274&view=previous&sid=7297e3bae723d8985e7ccbb3717a9e73

  19. techthulhu – 0 results.
    “Thor’s Whores” – 222 results.
    “dracula is lactose intolerant” – 2 results.
    “What if hitler invented hello kitty?” – 0 results.
    “Stalin is a sexy beast” – 1 result…
    “Jesus vs. the Kool Aid Man” = 0 results.
    “My life would be complete if I had porn of Mr. Rogers” – results.

    I think I’m done for the day.

  20. “make out with a grandma” – 1 result
    “make out with a grandpa” – 2 results
    “make out with a mother” – 0 results

    Grandpas win again…

    “Google couldn’t even find my underpants” – 0 results
    “It turns out you shot my dog” – 0 results

  21. The wonderful thing is that every 0 result now has 1 result. It’s like we’re eradicating the 0 links!

  22. “i’m a hermaphrodite who had a sex change” – 0 results

    A guy I knew in high school told us he wanted to go on Jerry Springer under that theme…

  23. “intercourse with a pineapple” – 3 hits
    “No more punching monkeys” – 2 hits

    No results found for “Ventriloquists gone wild”

  24. In regard to the “bologna” one, it’s because the first two results that pop up are from your website. *suspicious look*

  25. Google orbital sub-nuclear fusion mass celestial objects of roundness defined by 3<pi<4:

    “Google Mercury” – 3,060
    “Google Venus” – 1,460
    “Google Earth” – 91,200,000
    “Google Mars” – 424,000
    “Google Jupiter” – 1,640
    “Google Saturn” – 3,000
    “Google Uranus” – 289
    “Google Neptune” – 231
    “Google Pluto” – 709
    “Google Moon” – 164,000
    “Google Phobos” – 221
    “Google Deimos” – 61
    “Google Io” – 41,100 (Vulcanize society!)
    “Google Europa” – 10,500
    “Google Calisto” – 360
    “Google Ganymede” – 160
    “Google Amalthea” – 6
    “Google Himalia” – 1
    “Google Elara”- 8
    “Google-fuck Jupiter” – 0
    “Google Polydeuces” – 2 (…)
    “Google OGLE-2005-BLG-390Lb” – 1 (1 goto 1)
    “Google PSR B1257+12 C” – 0 (A winrar!)

    “Jupiter is fit for colonization” – 0
    “Cities built on orbital” – 0
    “Josef Fritzl is not that bad” – 0
    “I live and breathe this BS” – 0
    “wtf are torus seeds” – 0
    “One yoctosecond of joy” – 0

  26. “Roch Voisine jello mould” 0 results

    “Raptorrolled” 1 result

    “linen-clad raptor” 0 results

    “blood clot sandwich” seriously, 8 results

    “reslut” – 158,000 results, of which my favourite is possibly “HCG Test reslut: I’m pregnant!!”

  27. “You had me at hello” – 156,000
    “You had me at konichiwa” – 2,240
    “You had me at bonjour” – 532
    “You had me at hola” – 478
    “You had me at ciao” – 152
    “You had me at ni hao” – 126
    “You had me at namaste” – 104
    “You had me at guten tag” – 10
    “You had me at g’day” – 8
    “You had me at salaam” – 7
    “You had me at o hai” – 6
    “You had me at zdravstvuite” – 1
    “You had me at o-si-yo” – 0

    and:

    “You had me at halo” – 73,700
    “You had me at goodbye” – 7,270
    “You had me at good morning” – 242
    “You had me at dicks fuck assholes” – 224
    “You had me at let’s fuck” – 20
    “You had me at your mom” – 2
    “You had me at raptors” – 1 (!!)
    “You had me at velociraptors” – 0

  28. Lol^1: 398000000
    Lol^2: 2480000
    Lol^3: 1420000
    Lol^4: 720000
    Lol^5 318000
    Lol^6 187000
    Lol^7 127000
    Lol^8 83900
    Lol^9 48200
    Lol^10 33200
    Lol^11 24300
    Lol^12 22400
    Lol^13 12200
    Lol^14 12600
    Lol^15 8910
    Lol^16 6770
    Lol^17 4290
    Lol^18 3200
    Lol^19 2480
    Lol^20 1910
    Lol^21 2100
    Lol^22 1680
    Lol^23 1650
    Lol^24 1450
    Lol^25 883
    Lol^26 778
    Lol^27 794
    Lol^28 548
    Lol^29 487
    Lol^30 525
    Lol^31 349
    Lol^32 563
    Lol^33 258
    Lol^34 310
    Lol^35 275
    Lol^36 400
    Lol^37 287
    Lol^38 214
    Lol^39 166
    Lol^40 180
    Lol^41 605
    Lol^42 112
    Lol^43 560
    Lol^44 810
    Lol^45 965
    Lol^46 699
    Lol^47 108
    Lol^48 121
    Lol^49 1650
    Lol^50 9
    Lol^51 5
    Lol^52 12
    Lol^53 7
    Lol^54 7
    Lol^55 7
    Lol^56 9
    Lol^57 8
    Lol^58 6
    Lol^59 10
    Lol^60 6
    Lol^61 10
    Lol^62 7
    Lol^63 7
    Lol^64 0

  29. “list of successful geckos”
    “list of successful government initiatives”
    “list of successful webcomics”

    All zero. :(

  30. this may seem a somewhat self obsessed discovery, however….

    I typed my name into google in two separate browsers on my mac. In one I came 1,2 and 3 on the first page whilst on the other I was 4 5 and 7

    Why were the searches not the same….or am I thinking too simplistically.

    Rowland

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