Some Lists

After a hectic few months, I finally have some projects that are in the early stages.  But since nothing is worth posting about yet, here instead is a list of phrases that (at the time of this posting) turn up no hits on Google:

  • “ate a violin”
  • “driver-side bidet”
  • “unlike normal furries,”
  • “Sarah, plain and tall and a cyborg”
  • “people are too civil on the internet”
  • “his penis shattered my world”
  • “more like LAME-arkian theory”
  • “my little horse must think it gay”
  • “it turned out her bottom half was a robot”
  • “Aww, a baby hooker!”

Here are some phrases that I had hoped were original when I typed them in but was disappointed:

  • “full-body glissando”
  • “passenger-side bidet”
  • “underwater Linux”
  • “Nu-Polka”
  • “erotic colonoscopy”
  • “Spocktoberfest”
  • “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a frack.”
  • “my bologna has a first name, it’s A-D-O-L-F”

And lastly, here’s a fun bash export I stumbled on:

  • export PS1='C:${PWD//\//\\\}>'

956 thoughts on “Some Lists

  1. The results in the comments have frightened me… endlessly. I think I may have nightmares now O_O I want my mommy’s fifth grade teacher (also no results :p )

  2. III
    IIIIIII
    I IIII
    II III
    III IIIIIIIIII
    III IIIIIIIIIIIII
    III IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
    IIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIII II
    IIII IIIIIIIIIIIIII
    IIIII IIIIIIIIIIIII
    IIIII IIIIIIIIIIIII
    IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
    IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
    IIIIIIIIIIIIII
    IIII IIII
    III III
    II II
    IIIII IIIII

    “I”s don’t make good velociraptors – 0
    “I”s do make good velociraptors – 0
    “I do make good velociraptors – 0

  3. xkcd blag reformatted my velociraptor – 0
    10 minutes of my life wasted – 3240
    crap – 70.600.000

  4. __________________________III_________________
    _________________________IIIIII_______________
    ______I_________________IIIIIIIIII____ROAR______
    ______II_________________IIIIIII________________
    ______II__________________III__________________
    ______III______________IIIIIIIIII _______________
    ______ III____________IIIIIIIIIIIII________________
    _______III___________IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII_____________
    ________IIII________IIIIIIIIIIIIIII__II_____________
    _________IIII______IIIIIIIIIIIIII__________________
    __________IIIII____IIIIIIIIIIIII___________________
    ___________IIIII__IIIIIIIIIIIII____________________
    ___________IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII_____________________
    ____________IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII______________________
    ____________ IIIIIIIIIIIIII___velociraptor>xkcd blag_
    _____________IIII____IIII_______________________
    ______________III____III________________________
    _______________II____II________________________
    _______________IIIII__IIIII______________________

    velociraptors don’t give up – 0 (!)

  5. “chuck norris is my mom” – 4
    “chuck norris is not my mom” – 0
    “my mom is a hacker” – 5
    “chuck norris is a hacker” – 4

    Google’s good at silogisms ;D

  6. There was some messed-up Boggle being played in southern Vermont just now. The word “clitadel” came up.
    No google results for “clitadel”.
    Why?

  7. gee someone totally stole my name

    “God I want Chuck Norris in bed RIGHT NOW……..”

    Not very nice to do that….

    Sadly even in xkcd we got jerks

  8. Microsoft Word ate my homework – 67,000
    OpenOffice ate my homework – 1,620
    NeoOffice ate my homework – 185
    (I’m still angry that circumstances [circumstances meaning not being NeoOffice's .doc files disagreeing with FirstClass so I couldn't put my homework on there] have forced me back to Word, which I swore off after my mac came with a trial version that worked for only 30 days AND limited features [for example, you couldn't print, if I remember correctly. something that crippling.])
    moon voyage results in hijacked vehicle – 3,180
    moon voyage results in hijacked vehicle due to alien interference – 1,730
    moon voyage results in hijacked vehicle due to alien interference. officials state that lack of onboard weaponry doomed the ship – 693
    moon voyage results in hijacked vehicle due to alien interference. officials state that lack of onboard weaponry doomed the ship and are advising the government to immediately channel funding toward building a giant laser. – 194
    moon voyage results in hijacked vehicle due to alien interference. officials state that lack of onboard weaponry doomed the ship and are advising the government to immediately channel funding toward building a giant laser. this far into negotiations, though, it appears that the president is leaning toward experimenting with sonic devices rather than adhering to more familiar arms. – 132
    aliens went n took over this ship. so officials were all liek, ship was needin super laser thing so we shud build one for next tiem. except then the president was all lolz we should have moar sonic becuz is better. – 1
    daleks went n took over this ship. so officials were all liek, ship was needin super laser thing so we shud build one for next tiem. except then the president was all lolz we shud have moar sonic becuz is better. – 0

  9. “my date turned out to be a vilociraptor in disguise”
    “my date turned out to be a vilociraptor”
    “vilociraptors are your friends”
    “thankfully I knew the fundamental theorem of calculus”
    “single celled organisms ate my homework”

    “quantum physics is sexy” 2 hits?!?
    “quantum physics is very useful” 0
    “ice is not flammable” 0 hits
    “ice is flammable” 2 hits

    “Pluto is better than the sun” 0
    “pluto is better than Mercury” 0
    “pluto is better than Venus” 0
    “pluto is better than the earth” 0
    “pluto is better than the moon” 0
    “pluto is better than Mars” 0
    “pluto is better than Jupitor” 0
    “pluto is better than saturn” 6hits What’s wrong with saturn? :(
    “pluto is better than Uranus” 0
    “pluto is better than Neptune” 0

  10. “I AM A CUNT”

    No arguments there.

    “Frambolicious” – 4 (?)
    “Obama broke into my house” – 9
    “McCain broke into my house” – 0
    “Bob Dole broke into my house” – 0

    “Freemasons are awesome” – 87
    “Freemasons are not awesome” – 0

    I think the record is clear.

  11. THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED

    “Go make me a sandwich”
    “Sudo make your own sandwich”
    “I just got pwned!”

    no joke were that lame

  12. Oddly enough, “like a hyena wearing mittens” has zero results. I say oddly enough because this was a phrase I used commonly for a good six years. I can’t believe I never unleashed it on the intertubes at large!

  13. “hash brownies” – 27,300
    “hash cake” – 12,000
    “hash cookies” – 9,780
    “hash pie” – 1,180
    “hash macaroons” – 3
    “hash petit fours” – 0 :(

  14. Interestingly,
    goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooogle
    is the most number of letters you can search for without getting a “too long a word” error. And it’s got 8 results.

    If you take away one O, though, you only get 3 results.

  15. “james earl jones of star wars fame” – 2
    “douglas adams of the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy fame” – 117
    “harrison ford of indiana jones fame” – 182
    “randall munroe of xkcd fame” – 193
    “isaac newton of gravity fame” – 274
    “summer glau of firefly fame” – 3.570

  16. The number of Google results for “X is a genius”, with the following people as X:

    Barack Obama: 3360
    John McCain: 666 (this is not a joke)
    Hillary Clinton: 139
    George Bush: 4210
    Adolf Hitler: 194
    Randall Monroe: 2

    Interestingly, “this returns no Google results” returns no Google results. “Ask Jeeves is better than Google” returns 1 lonely result.

  17. “furthermore, penis” – 513
    “luggage rape” – 85
    “intergalactic weasel” – 8
    “minorities are hilarious” – 5
    “premenstrual syndrome? more like” – 4
    “intergalactic hysterectomy” – 3
    “falafel sundae” – 3
    “the internet is icky” – 3
    “while we’re on the subject, who invented” – 3
    “who stole the penis from the cookie jar” – 1

    Note: the 3 search results for “while we’re on the subject, who invented” were asking who invented wood chip wallpaper, scented toilet paper, and “millk”.

  18. Totally random…and unrelated to this blag post…but it needs to be said that your latest comic made me LOL because I have a Sony laptop, and I swear their technical support team (and manufacturing company and exec board and R&D dept) all come from the deepest ring of Hell. So…I thank you for that Lol.

  19. “I should be working” – 217,000
    “You should be working” – 306,000
    “ninja’s should be working” – 0
    “Pirates should be working” – 3
    “velociraptors should be working” – 0
    “Windows should be working” – 95
    “Vista should be working” – 75
    “Ubuntu should be working” – 5
    “Linux should be working” – 4,380
    “tea should be working” – 1
    “coffee should be working” – 3

    So apparently you should be working more then I should. Pirates should work as opposed to ninjas. Linux should be working a lot more than Windows. And coffee should work better than tea.

    “the answer is yes” – 2, 440,000
    “the answer is no” – 2,2100,000
    “the answer is maybe” – 53,300
    “the answer is 42″ – 28,900
    “the answer is velociraptors” – 2
    “the answer is ninjas” – 196
    “the answer is pirates” – 262
    “the answer is blowin’ in the wind” – 71,000
    “the answer is quantum computing” – 0
    “the answer is vampire rabbits” – 0 (my housemate will be upset by this)
    “the answer is spangly pants” – 0 :-(
    “the answer is Vista” – 235
    “the answer is ubuntu” – 389
    “the answer is OS X” – 4
    “the answer is linux” – 4,100
    “the answer is mac” – 1,040
    “the answer is Windows” – 826

    “duck of doom” – 34,500

  20. “erotic dream about Sarah Silverman”

    “erotic dream about Adam Sandler”

    “erotic dream about Jerry Seinfeld”

    “erotic dream about Fran Drescher”

    “erotic dream about Woody Allen”

    “erotic dream about a Jewish comedian”

  21. Looks like there’s an svn conflict in one of the WordPress PHP files running this thing. Copying foo.php.r10326 or foo.php.mine over foo.php, or running svn revert foo.php, will fix. Not that anyone necessarily needs help with svn, but can’t hurt to give too much info.

  22. “bill gates’ heroin habit also follows moore’s law”
    “it was a dark and stormy night when the captain said to the sailor, pull my finger”

  23. no results for:

    “it was a dark and stormy night when the captain said to the sailor, pull my finger”

    or

    “bill gates’ heroin habit also follows moore’s law”

  24. Important new information:

    There’s also no results for “how to apologise for being an idiot and posting twice on xckd”

  25. No results found for:
    “I stepped in a sandwich”
    “My shoe just ran away”
    “I made a house from Waffles”
    “Rockets on a bike is a bad idea”
    “Those pants are hats”
    “The house just caught on water”
    “I jumped into work through a window”
    “That’s some tasty 3.14″

  26. “the internet is full of blags” – 0 hits
    “the internet is full of blogs” – 478 hits
    “the internet is full of bullshit” – 35 hits
    “the internet is full of herpes” – 0 hits
    “the internet is full of hippies” – 0 hits
    “the internet is full of idiots” – 944 hits
    “the internet is full of nonsense” – 457 hits
    “the internet is full of nouns” – 0 hits
    “the internet is full of racism” – 2 hits
    “the internet is full of racists” – 3 hits
    “the internet is full of terrorists” – 2 hits

  27. “Adolf Hitler has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A” – 1
    “I survived a velociraptor attack” – 0

    And, to see where everyone on the Internet lives:

    “I can see Russia from my house” – 59,200
    “I can see Mexico from my house” – 327
    “I can see Canada from my house” – 324
    “I can see America from my house” – 19
    “I can see Cuba from my house” – 18
    “I can see Wales from my house” – 17 (Did you mean: “I can see whales from my house” – 2)
    “I can see France from my house” – 14
    “I can see India from my house” – 14
    “I can see Iran from my house” – 13
    “I can see Afghanistan from my house” – 12
    “I can see Iceland from my house” – 11
    “I can see Italy from my house” – 10
    “I can see Pakistan from my house” – 10
    “I can see Spain from my house” – 10
    “I can see Syria from my house” – 10
    “I can see China from my house” – 8
    “I can see New Zealand from my house” – 7
    “I can see Argentina from my house” – 6
    “I can see Bosnia from my house” – 6
    “I can see Japan from my house” – 6
    “I can see England from my house” – 5
    “I can see Prussia from my house” – 5
    “I can see you mom from my house” – 5
    “I can see Israel from my house” – 4
    “I can see Northern Ireland from my house” – 4
    “I can see Poland from my house” – 4
    “I can see Chile from my house” – 3
    “I can see Indonesia from my house” – 3
    “I can see Iraq from my house” – 3
    “I can see Korea from my house” – 3 (“I can see North Korea from my house” – 3; “I can see South Korea from my house” – 0; no surprise there)
    “I can see Nigeria from my house” – 3
    “I can see the United States from my house” – 3
    “I can see Uzbekistan from my house” – 2
    “I can see Australia from my house” – 2
    “I can see Greenland from my house” – 2
    “I can see Haiti from my house” – 2
    “I can see Finland from my house” – 2
    “I can see Morocco from my house” – 2
    “I can see Papua New Guinea from my house” – 2
    “I can see Saudi Arabia from my house” – 2
    “I can see South Africa from my house” – 2
    “I can see Sweden from my house” – 2
    “I can see Thailand from my house” – 2
    “I can see the United States of America from my house” – 2
    “I can see Vietnam from my house” – 2
    “I can see Austria from my house” – 1
    “I can see Britain from my house” – 1
    “I can see Brazil from my house” – 1
    “I can see Cambodia from my house” – 1
    “I can see Colombia from my house” – 1
    “I can see Estonia from my house” – 1
    “I can see Luxembourg from my house” – 1
    “I can see Panama from my house” – 1
    “I can see Portugal from my house” – 1
    “I can see the Vatican from my house” – 1

  28. “google yields no puppies”-0
    “google hates puppies”-1
    “google holds no quarter…pertaining to puppies”-0
    “google kills puppies”-2
    So google doesn’t like puppies D:

  29. J says:
    January 24, 2009 at 10:25 pm
    “well, by posting here you guys are messing up the search numbers”

    Exactly, so by posting it, we are FIRST. Intertubes, son, learn ‘em.

    (“Intertubes, son, learn ‘em” – 0 results)

  30. Re-Read the Jabberwoky and as such:
    “Vorpal Blade” – 55,400
    “Vorpal Shirt” – 172
    “Vorpal Socks” – 6
    “Vorpal Pants” – 2
    “Vorpal Toaster” – 2
    “Vorpal Pop-Tarts” – 0

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>