Duke Nukem Forever Metalist

Now that the Duke Nukem Forever project is dead (until it’s sold off and picked up by someone else), there’s a lot of renewed interest in the hilarious list of things that took less time than the Duke Nukem Forever development process.  It lists things such as the Beatles’ entire music career and World War II plus the Manhattan Project.

What struck me was that the list itself has been around a long time.  I was laughing at it years ago, and though it was updated just today, most of the items on it still date back to the original list (circa late 2005/early 2006, I think).

So I present to you — and read this carefully; it’s not a mistake — a list of things that happened since the List of Things That Have Happened Since Duke Nukem Forever Was Announced was written.

  • Barack Obama announced his candidacy, slogged through the longest Presidential campaign in American history, and was elected.
  • Hurricane Katrina flooded New Orleans and wiped out much of the Gulf Coast.
  • Ehud Olmert came to power in Israel, pursued a war against Lebanon, and was succeeded by Netanyahu.
  • Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Samuel Alito have had their entire Supreme Court careers since the list was written.
  • The world panicked over bird flu, calmed down, panicked over swine flu, and apparently dodged a bullet.
  • The iPhone was announced, released, and developed to the point where it could make fart noises.
  • Windows Vista was released, sputtered a bit, and is now reaching the end of its life cycle.

Additionally, the List of Things That Took Less Time Than the Duke Nukem Forever Development has been circulating for longer than each of these things took:

  • The release of all three Lord of the Rings movies
  • The painting of the ceiling in the Sistine Chapel (or, will be true in a few months)
  • World War I (nearly; age of list is uncertain)
  • The development of Windows 95 from Windows 3.1
  • The construction of the Empire State Building
  • The entire run of the original Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers show plus the first movie.
  • The premier of Firefly, its cancellation, its growth into a geek classic, and the subsequent greenlighting, filming and release of Serenity.

218 thoughts on “Duke Nukem Forever Metalist

  1. I…I don’t know what ot think anymore. Stephanie Mayer has the power to make us all collapse under the weight of her hordes’ angst.

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  2. >>NortonFord

    Doubtful. The Endless September didn’t kill the internet. Plus, 4chan’s been killed a couple times now. It’s like freaking Godzilla though: it gets killed each time only to show up in the next movie. *Cue huge Godzilla nerd stating all the times Godzilla isn’t killed*

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  3. >>The Endless September didn’t kill the internet.

    Actually it did, in significant ways. Note the smoking crater that used to be Usenet, for example. Also, spam.

    I have long wondered whether the Internet, as a community, would be better off if no one with an IQ under 115 had write access to it, and all the bored housewives and emo kids and would-be “Internet marketing” billionaires (“You Too Can Be an Internet Billionaire Just Like Bill Gates, For Dummies”) went back to watching TV in their spare time, or huffing paint, or whatever it is they did before the Intertubes.

    But that’s just my misanthropy talking.

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  4. >> >>The Endless September didn’t kill the internet.
    >> Actually it did, in significant ways. Note the smoking
    >> crater that used to be Usenet, for example.

    I haven’t checked to see if my ISP still has an nntp server, but the hierarchy still exists, and there are alternative ways to post, e.g.,

    http://www.dsprelated.com/

    >> Also, spam.

    Um…how did n00bs cause spam?

    >> better off if no one with an IQ under 115
    >> had write access to it,

    Then somebody writes a script that makes anyone who runs it appear to be over 115… Besides, you DO realize you have to “write” a request to obtain just about anything on the Internet, right? Are you suggesting all the stupid people run servers so that all connections are inbound? Besides, why 115? Why not 130? Higher? Fairly arbitrary. Besides, stupid people are fun to beat up on. :whistles:

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  5. “The Endless September didn’t kill the internet. ”

    “Actually it did, in significant ways. Note the smoking crater that used to be Usenet, for example. Also, spam.”

    I’d agree with the spam thing; if there’s a profit to be had, people will destroy anything. Usenet suffered for a while, but I think it’s mostly back to what it once was. Most of my friends have no idea that Usenet exists; some post on website forums, but I doubt they’d stick with Usenet, since it doesn’t have GUIs and avatars and HTML formatting so they can append animated heart banners.

    Also, I’ve met plenty of people with high IQ’s who I wouldn’t want on my Internet. They’re used to being the smartest person in the room, so they just melt down when confronted with an intelligent, well developed, well sourced argument (signed Summer Glau).

    Captcha: “mating though” (iykwim)

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  6. Pingback: Gran Turismo 5 - Page 50 - FinalGear.com Forums

  7. YUS PLAZ. MOAR BLAGZ. WEE NED OAR BLAGZ.

    Duke Nukem’ – “Takes Forever to make”

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  8. Actually, if you really wanted to irritate a typographer, you’d use Copperplate.

    Papyrus doesn’t bother me.

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  9. With how much the distort the pictures (and forgiving spelling errors), I’m not sure they care that much,

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  10. It might also be worth noting that the entirety of George W. Bush’s presidency took place, and is entirely encapsulated, within the development timespan of Duke Nukem Forever.

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  11. I also noticed that someone posted a comment solely to advance the reCAPTCHA project. While I am an avid supporter of the reCAPTCHA project, I disagree with posting a message that is essentially free of content solely to advance the project. If you really want to solve CAPTCHAs to advance the project, you can use the CAPTCHA challenge on the official reCAPTCHA site, which is located on the “What is reCAPTCHA” page.

    For the convince of people who wish to assist the reCAPTCHA project without posting “spam” (note that I use the term loosely), the direct URL to the aforementioned page is http://recaptcha.net/learnmore.html

    Also note that while the CAPTCHAs are case-insensitive, I believe it is more helpful to treat them as case-sensitive, as it reduces the need for further human intervention.

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  12. Every time I see the title of this post I think metal-ist, not meta-list. And I think I would like to be a metal-ist, but only if it has to with the music, not the minerals.

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  13. Laura says:
    May 22, 2009 at 9:36 am

    Every time I see the title of this post I think metal-ist, not meta-list. And I think I would like to be a metal-ist, but only if it has to with the music, not the minerals.

    medyum says:
    July 7, 2009 at 3:23 am

    Every time I see the title of this post I think metal-ist, not meta-list. And I think I would like to be a metal-ist, but only if it has to with the music, not the minerals.

    Is it possible that two of you thought exactly the same thing in exactly the same way and typed it out as such? Looks like material for a new comic..lol..

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  14. Regarding the strip… That’s scary shit. I just realized that Meyer has the power to sic literally millions of rabid fans upon virtually anyone she pleases by inserting a few sentences in a rushed, badly-written, teenage pulp novel. Publishing of an author of her popularity goes fast, and every single one of her fans is practically guaranteed to read a new book within a week. And instantly be obsessed with it, and if that involves overthrowing, say, the world banking system, then there goes the world banking system. Like a zombie net, almost. A DDOS in real life. Twilight is a much scarier book now.
    I believe it was King who said “Like J.K. Rowling, except J.K. Rowling can write.” Or something to that effect.

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  15. Pingback: The Short History of Duke Nukem Forever's Long Existence | Unigamesity

  16. I remember how i enjoyed playing duke nukem, skipping meals, not sleeping, 12-15 hours in a row in front of my computer. That was the days, always hungry for more!

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  17. Duke Nukem Forever is now = Did Not Finish. Same three letters, new name.
    I was waiting for this – I was one of the lucky bastards who pre ordered it for 10 dollars at FuncoLand before they went out of business and sold to Game Stop.

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  18. I hope some day you see this.

    Because there are now reports that Gearbox has taken up Duke Nukem Forever.

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  19. I am really impressed with the work you have done. Your refreshing writing is definitely going to help so many people including me. Thanks a lot…

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  20. yea… we will see…

    it is announced and it looks like a release, but still i stay sceptic…

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