Some Lists

After a hectic few months, I finally have some projects that are in the early stages.  But since nothing is worth posting about yet, here instead is a list of phrases that (at the time of this posting) turn up no hits on Google:

  • “ate a violin”
  • “driver-side bidet”
  • “unlike normal furries,”
  • “Sarah, plain and tall and a cyborg”
  • “people are too civil on the internet”
  • “his penis shattered my world”
  • “more like LAME-arkian theory”
  • “my little horse must think it gay”
  • “it turned out her bottom half was a robot”
  • “Aww, a baby hooker!”

Here are some phrases that I had hoped were original when I typed them in but was disappointed:

  • “full-body glissando”
  • “passenger-side bidet”
  • “underwater Linux”
  • “Nu-Polka”
  • “erotic colonoscopy”
  • “Spocktoberfest”
  • “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a frack.”
  • “my bologna has a first name, it’s A-D-O-L-F”

And lastly, here’s a fun bash export I stumbled on:

  • export PS1='C:${PWD//\//\\\}>'

950 thoughts on “Some Lists

  1. “Chinchilla-hair bathrobe”
    “I really think the loss helped me stop being such a bitch”
    “whiny chainsaw operator”
    “musical chainsaw chorus”
    “happy postdoctoral students”

  2. “I’m no doctor, but you’re really fat” returned no results. Can you believe it?

  3. Just found a new one you might find interesting.

    “girlfriend had sexy dream about me”

  4. Complete the illusion:

    export PS1=’$(dos.pl)’
    alias C:=”cd /”
    alias D:=”cd /media/cdrom”
    alias H:=”cd”

    name this dos.pl and put it in your path:
    #!/usr/bin/perl

    use strict;
    use warnings;

    use Cwd;

    my $dir = getcwd;
    my $home = $ENV{HOME};

    my @replace = (
    [ qr{^/media/cdrom/?} => "D:\\" ],
    [ qr{^$home/?} => "H:\\" ],
    [ qr{/} => "C:\\" ],
    );

    for my $re (@replace) {
    my ($pattern, $replace) = @$re;
    last if $dir =~ s/$pattern/$replace/;
    }

    $dir =~ s{/}{\\}g;

    print $dir;

  5. i know it’s pretty late…
    “i miss my sense of nostalgia”
    = no hits.

  6. I love how there is now a subculture online of stories that utilize all of the phrases that originally returned 0 results… “ate a violin” seems to find them….

  7. Pingback: Spielereien mit Google Trends « oWTF

  8. “Cthulhu, I am your father” – 0 results

    “Supermandibles” – 0 results

    “Aquamandibles” – 0 results

    “Spidermandibles” – 2 results

    “SlapChop is a worthwhile product” – 0 results

    “Slap Chop is a worthwhile product” – 0 results

    “ShamWow is a worthwhile product” – 0 results

    “I now regret eating that hand grenade” – 0 results

    “600613 534RCH” – 0 results

  9. Not sure if anyone mentioned this but… mentioning the zero-hit phrases here gives them all a hit thereby removing their singular trait.

  10. Hammer sandwich FTW …

    “clawhammer sandwich” – 0 results
    “clubhammer sandwich” – 0 results
    “lumphammer sandwich” – 0 results
    “toffee hammer sandwich” – 0 results
    “ball-peen sandwich” – 0 results

  11. “A velociraptor attacked my genitals”
    “What are you doing with that velociraptor”
    “I found out my potato is a velociraptor”
    “Hitler ate my cat” turned up 2 results, but on the same website, and “Hitler” and “ate my cat” separated by a comma.

  12. I have to admit that this one: “it turned out her bottom half was a robot” was funny as hell. Love the sandwich ones too in the other post, some really good stuff!

  13. I think all the hits on the phrases that had no hits then are references to this post.

  14. “Edible rain ponchos”
    “saturn is made of donuts”
    “4 loko is unhealthy”
    “hasma tastes good”
    “charlie sheen is a perfectly sane man”

    And some that are funny because they do get results:

    “i like to eat dog poop”
    “Can you eat human penis?”
    “Dental Theme Birthday Party Ideas”
    “how do aliens taste”
    “is the zombie apocalypse real”

    “alien abductions are not real” – About 2,240 results (0.35 seconds)
    “alien abductions are real” About 5,070 results (0.20 seconds)

  15. Pingback: Why, Hello. « Plain and Tall and a Cyborg

  16. “the control group lived” – 16,800
    “the control group died” – 221,000

    What kind of experiment is this?!

    “the tallest short person” – 2,010
    “the shortest tall person” – 210

    “I’m thinking of a number” – 6,990,000
    “I’m dreaming of a number” – 4
    “I’m fantasizing about a number” – 1

    Captcha: “oniditi true,” – 0 hits

  17. “I have very thin hair, some due to constantly dying it and some to genetics. Since being deployed I decided to try this product. I also use the conditioner as well. Also another part of the system. The bigger bottles last a long time! Well worth the price. I dye my hair platinum blonde and it regrows out in less than two weeks!!! Its amazing. I have an inch to two inches grow out in less than a month. My hair has grown like crazy. I highly recommend this product.”

  18. “weight of a bobcat” – 81,700
    “dimensions of a bobcat” – 6 results
    “volume of a bobcat” – 3 results
    “how to ship a bobcat” – 4 results
    Well, looks like there’s info out there for eBayers!

    “server-side pizza” – 3 results
    “client-side pizza” – 5 results

    “server-side spaghetti” – 6 results
    “client-side spaghetti” – 3 results

    “server-side bacon” – 0 results :(
    “client-side bacon” – 3 results

    “how to break a brick with your hand” – 6 results
    “how to break a brick with your head” – 1 result
    “how to break a brick with your face” – 1 result
    “how to break a brick with your mind” – 0 results

    “why can’t I red” – 10,800 results
    “why can’t I orange” – 1 result
    “why can’t I yellow” – 8 results
    “why can’t I green” – 2,830 results
    “why can’t I blue” – 9 results
    “why can’t I purple” – 1 result
    “why can’t I mauve” – 0 results

    “inflatable sinus” – 7 results

  19. “how to wear pants with your torso” – 1 hit
    “where did I leave the antimatter” – 0 hits
    “I’m glad I got to know your in-laws” – 0 hits
    “Satan ate my cat” – 9 hits
    “fairness in Mario Party” – 0 hits

  20. “thats not my pants thankfully” – 0 results
    “thats not my pants” – 6 results

  21. meta phrases
    “this returns not even a hit” – 0hits
    “this returns no hit” -7
    “this returns zero hit” -0
    “this returns zero hits” -1
    “this returns 0 hits” -807
    “this returns 0 hit” -0
    “this returns no hit” -3

  22. Massage is a complex process operations that consist of movements performed systematically, by hand or with special devices on various parts of the body.

  23. Way late for this one, but what the hell?

    “Fresh panda testicles”
    “Not enough Hitlers”
    “I wish I worked at Walmart”
    “That chalupa didn’t give me diarrhea.”
    “4chan is the best.”
    “Photosynthetic babies”
    “Deadly cornbread.”

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